by V. Moody
She clattered to the ground, but rolled into a crouch, ready to pounce again.
“No need for fighting,” said the owner of the hand. “I’m sure we can resolve this over a drink or two.” He smiled, which made me think wolf teeth weren’t so bad. “My name is Vamalyn.”
Vamalyn looked a bit like a lizardman, only fatter and with a longer snout. Much longer, like a crocodile’s. His legs were short and he only managed to remain upright because his voluminous backside acted as support, scraping along the ground. A tail slithered from side to side behind him.
I lowered my sword. “I just want to know if you’ve seen Attica. He’s a little kobold.”
Vamalyn interlaced his fingers and rested them on top of his stomach. “They brought him around earlier. I am considered something of an arbitrator in these parts. When problems arise, this is where people come to have the matter settled. As I’m sure you’re aware by now, you can’t go around teaching magic to whoever you please. It upsets the balance.”
“He’s just a kid!”
“That makes little difference where the laws of nature are concerned.”
“What about me? I can use magic. Are you going to cut off my hands too?” Only after I said it did I think maybe putting the idea in his head wasn’t so wise.”
“You… are a special case.”
“Oh, so there are some exceptions, then? The laws of nature make allowances, just not for children—good to know.” I was too late, I knew that. “Is he okay? Can I see him? ”
“The knowledge you gave him wasn’t just in his hands, it was up here.” Vamalyn tapped the side of his head, drawing my attention to his small, multi-coloured eyes. They shimmered from red to green to yellow. “Sad to say, there was only one solution to this particular problem.”
It took me a moment to understand what he was saying. And then it hit me in a very strange way. I began gasping for air like I’d just been for a run. I couldn’t say anything, the only sound out of my mouth was panting, louder and louder. I slowly sank to the ground and sat there trying to catch my breath.
There was a flicker of pain in my chest. Not big—in fact the opposite. Tiny. But so sharp it made me close one eye. I’d never felt anything quite like it before. It was so precise, so contained, I would call it exquisite. If I focused on it, everything else faded away.
There was nothing. No Attica, no monsters, no panic. Only the pain.
I think it was grief.
I can’t say for sure because I had no experience of it. I would have thought grief would be more, “Oh, how I miss him…” and a dull ache as you watched the sun set, cue violins. I hadn’t expected it to feel like acid drilling through my fucking solar plexus.
When my dad died, there was none of this. He and my mother got divorced when I was young, though. Other than presents for Christmas and birthdays, I spent very little time around him, so when I suddenly had to get dressed up and go to his funeral, it was strange more than sad. And a bit scary because of all the people staring at me. No big emotions. The only thing I really felt was inconvenienced. Saturday mornings were the only time I got to watch TV by myself.
Attica I had known barely two days, yet my sense of loss was overwhelming. The pinpoint of pain in my chest began to grow. Wiggling toes in the surf quickly turned into finding myself waist deep and the water rising. I used the sword to push me back to my feet, like I could make a run for it before I drowned. But there was nowhere to go.
I looked around at the strange creatures fixedly staring at me and all I could think was, “They did this.”
“He didn’t suffer,” said Vamalyn. “After death there is nothing to fear.”
His words sparked something in me. Anger.
Vamalyn shook his head and snorted derisively. “What do you think you’re going to do with that? Light one of your farts?”
I followed his gaze down to my hand, which was covered in a pale blue flame. Like the time in the Pickled Gherkin when light had burst from my hand, I hadn’t done anything to create this magic, it had just appeared.
No one looked particularly concerned by it. As beasts they probably knew just how weak and ineffective it was. Lighting my farts was probably the biggest threat I posed, other than not lighting them.
“You didn’t have to kill him,” I said in a quiet voice.
“We did,” said Vamalyn. “It is our way.”
“Then your way is stupid.” I sounded like a child.
“You know very little about our way of life, or our way of death, yet you are so quick to judge.”
“That’s because I put in a lot of practice.”
I closed my eyes. My hand was beginning to hurt. It felt good.
There are different types of pain. There’s the scream-inducing type when you get your leg amputated without anaesthetic, and then there’s the type where your leg is so mangled, you beg for someone to cut it off, and the bite of the saw into your flesh and bone is nothing but sweet relief.
The tide was coming in.
I opened my eyes and everything was shaking. The trees, the ground, the terrified creatures. It was like an earthquake.
Only they weren’t shaking at all. The only one shaking was me; so hard I couldn’t see straight.
I looked down at my hand. It was burning with a white flame. Not like the lights I created, this was burning white hot. My hand felt like it was melting. The pain was searing. It wasn’t enough.
The gathered monsters didn’t look so sure of themselves now. They began to move away from me, behind Vamalyn.
“There’s a lot of alcohol here,” I said. “The stuff we have back home is very flammable. I’m guessing this stuff is too.”
Healing beyond my abilities had taken a couple of months from me, I wondered what burning an entire village to ash would cost. A couple of years? I could afford it. It wasn’t like I had big plans for the future.
The heat in my hand intensified.
Vamalyn wasn’t smiling anymore. “You would kill us all.”
“After death there is nothing to fear.” I started laughing. If they were so cool with death, let them prove it.
“It won’t bring him back.”
And just like that the fire went out. The one enveloping my hand and the one consuming my mind. The pain was gone too. I felt nothing but numb.
He was right, it wouldn’t bring him back. And what was the big deal with living anyway? He would have probably died one way or another. Me protecting him was hardly a guarantee of safety.
They had their way. It was a horrible way, but what way wasn’t? The person who fucked up here was me. I did this. I got him killed.
I looked down at my hand expecting to see bones with all the flesh burned off, but it was just my regular hand.
I put my sword back in its scabbard. “This was my fault. I see that now.” Everyone stared at me nervously. I could see the fear in their eyes. “I’m going to go now. If you see my friends, tell them…” I had no idea what he should tell them. “Tell them I said hey.”
Not the most dramatic of parting speeches, but I’m sure they appreciated me keeping it short and bitter.
I turned and took two steps, not really knowing where I was going. I stopped at the sight of an approaching carriage. It was a fancy affair with lots of intricate designs and carvings, although the most notable aspect was probably the unicorn pulling it.
Normally, seeing an actual unicorn would be a cause for some excitement, but having learned how horns work over here, I wasn’t all that thrilled to see a horse with a giant cock on its head.
The carriage hurtled through the narrow gaps between tents and shacks, knocking things over and sending people flying in all directions. They didn’t seem to mind. I guess it was their way.
The driver was a kobold. He looked very different to May-May and Attica, but I still found it uncomfortable to look at him. He brought the carriage to a shuddering halt in front of me and the door flew open.
My missing teammates bund
led out all done up in brand new clothes and giant smiles on their faces. With them they brought boundless energy and enthusiasm, and a joy for life that burst forth like confetti.
I should have set myself on fire when I had the chance.
14. Get Lucky
“Colin!” screamed Claire like she was delighted to see me. “We’re back!”
“Sorry about leaving you like that,” said Maurice. “We didn’t think we’d be gone so—”
“Yeah, they said it was only a day away, we thought we’d be back in no—”
“Then they forced us to go to all these parties an—”
“They made us these clothes too,” said Flossie, holding out her leather top from the hem. “Right bostin’ they are.”
“We met the head guy, the Vizier,” said Maurice. “He was some kind of giant badger! He might have been a wolverine, but he didn’t have claws.”
“They had cake!” said Flossie. “It were great.”
“We tried to send a message,” cut in Claire, “but their post office is really strange.”
“We got you this.” Flossie held out a cloak for me. I took it and put it under my arm.
They were all talking over each other and coming at me so fast it was hard to take it all in.
“We thought you could probably do with a few days without us,” said Claire. “You know, have a little me time.”
“Thank you for thinking of me.” I didn’t mean it sarcastically, but it still brought them up a bit short. It slowly dawned on them there was a strange atmosphere around us.
“You aren’t mad at us are you?” asked Flossie.
“No,” I said. “You did nothing wrong.”
The only one not to say anything was Jenny. She stood staring at me. “What happened, Colin?”
“Oh, you know, stuff.”
She walked up to me, her eyes searching my face like she was looking for something. Then she looked past me at the crowd gathered around Vamalyn. “What did you people do?” Her voice shook.
I placed my hand on Jenny’s shoulder. “It’s fine. They didn’t do anything. The only person who fucked up was me. Isn’t that right, Vamalyn?”
Vamalyn hesitated before he spoke. “We could all have handled the situation a little better, perhaps.”
“Yes,” I said. “Perhaps.”
“Colin,” said Jenny, “please tell me what happened. I’ve never seen you in this much pain before.”
I found her words confusing. “I’m not in any pain. Can’t feel a thing, to be honest with you.”
I turned to Keezy who was standing by the carriage, looking with concern at the gathered monsters. His skin had healed completely and he looked like a giant rock once more. The Worm King stood next to him.
“We had a deal,” I said to Keezy. “You promised to take us back.”
“Yes, we were talking about that on the journey here. We thought—”
“I don’t care.” It was hard to keep the edge of my voice. I wasn’t in much of a mood to have a discussion. “I saved your brother’s life. I made him into the Worm King. I went with you to find him in the dark. If you no longer wish to acknowledge your debt, that’s fine—you won’t be the first person to let me down-- I’d just like to know if you’re going to keep your word or not?”
Keezy didn’t say anything. He just looked at me for what seemed like several minutes, although it was probably a couple of seconds. Then his gaze passed over my head and swept across the watching gallery which appeared to have swelled in number.
“We can leave first thing in the morning,” he said.
I turned around towards Vamalyn and everyone behind him flinched. It would be nice to think I was this terrifying figure who could make even monsters cower, but they weren’t afraid of me in the conventional sense. It was more like a guy with a plank on his shoulder who suddenly pivots without realising there’s someone behind him.
“I think they’d rather we left right now,” I said. “Isn’t that right, Vamalyn?”
Vamalyn said nothing.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Shall we? I just have to pick up my stuff. It isn’t far.” I set off without waiting to see if anyone was following.
Once I crossed the village boundary the darkness closed in and I created a ball of light. I was now proficient enough to make it with hardly any effort and have it hang over my head as I walked. I felt like I had only scratched the surface of what was possible with magic, but the really powerful stuff seemed to be out of my reach. Or at least, out of my control.
The others traipsed along behind me, their conversations muted and too low for me to hear. The three trolls also followed. Having the Worm King along would make things a little less dangerous, assuming it meant the jabberwocky would avoid us.
When I got back to my tent I realised there wasn’t very much for me to take. I packed up the tent and took the spear Attica had given me. It wasn’t a particularly good one—the head was made of stone sharpened to a point—but it might come in useful one day. I could always throw it away if it became a burden.
“You are sure you want to go back across the border?” Keezy asked me.
“Yes. You know, I used to think the person who named Monsterland was some kind of retard. ‘Oh look, monsters, let’s call it Monsterland.’ Right? But now I see he was a genius. I’m half-tempted to go back to Gullen and offer to help him kill every last one of you.”
I’m not sure why I felt compelled to goad Keezy, other than the perverse pleasure of pissing someone off just because you can.
Keezy bristled a little but kept his composure. He looked at his brother , then back at me. “I owe you a debt. Once it is paid, you would do well not to cross my path again.”
His words felt familiar. I shrugged. “Is it far, wherever it is we’re going?”
“Two, maybe three days,” said Keezy. “We could rest here but, no, I can see you’re in no mood to tarry. And perhaps it would be best to put as much distance between you and the village as possible.”
Keezy led us around the other side of the lake and away from the border. Open fields made the going easy if a little monotonous.
“I’m sorry,” said Jenny. She had taken up position beside me.
“Sorry? Sorry for what?”
“For leaving you on your own. I… We got carried away after killing the jabberwock. We didn’t stop to think. It was inconsiderate. No, it was more than that. After you refused to come with us into that thing, it was like you had no faith in us. We wanted you to feel rejected the way you made us feel. It was mean. I don’t know what happened while we were gone, but I know it must have been terrible. I’m sorry you had to face it by yourself.”
“It’s not your job to look out for me. And you were right, I don’t have faith in you, in any of you. If that bothers you, you were right to leave me behind. I’m surprised you came back, to be honest.”
Jenny lowered her head.
I stopped and turned to look at the others. They all froze like guilty children with chocolate smeared around their mouths.
“It’s obvious you guys can handle yourselves now. You should seriously consider what you want to do once we get back. I don’t think any of you want to go where I’m headed.”
“Ah want us all to be togethaaah,” said Flossie in a plaintive whine.
“You will be together,” I said. “With each other. You don’t need me.” I turned back around and followed the trolls.
We walked through the night without incident. Having the trolls as our bodyguards probably helped. With the sunrise came our first proper look at where we were. The wide, unbroken plain stretched out in all directions like the African savannah. Far in the distance there was a range of mountains which I assumed was where we were headed.
“Couldn’t you just dig a tunnel under the border?” I asked Keezy.
“No.”
“So is it some kind of magical teleportation device you’re taking us to?”
“No.”
&nb
sp; Since I was getting nowhere with him I decided to question the others about their trip to the city.
What I wanted to ask was if they had found out anything that I would be interested in that didn’t involve cake recipes. However, that sort of mildly passive-aggressive questioning would only unsettle them and make them reluctant to talk.
I decided for a more direct approach. “Did you find out anything about this Cheng guy while you were running around stuffing your faces and living the high life?” I didn’t say I was going to be warm and friendly.
