by Rex Stout
No. Wolfe shifted in the chair. The back was too high for him to lean back properly as he did at home. If we're to talk to any purpose I'll have to expound it. I engaged with Mrs. Valdon to find the mother of a baby that had been left in the vestibule of her house. I did so, at great expense and after much floundering about. It was Carol Mardus. She came to me on Friday to learn how much I knew, and I obliged her. To dispose of the baby when she returned from Florida with it, she had enlisted the help of a friend, a man. Call him X.
Make it Z. X has been overworked.
Wolfe ignored it. There were four men whom Miss Mardus might have gone to for help in such a matter: Willis Krug, Julian Haft, Leo Bingham, and yourself. Her choice, X, was not a happy one. The problem of the immediate disposal of the infant was well solved; it was placed in the care of one Ellen Tenzer, a retired nurse who lived alone in a house she owned in Mahopac. But Miss Mardus had told X that Richard Valdon was the father of the baby, and that was a mistake. For two reasons. There were two facts about X that Miss Mardus had not sufficiently considered: one, that he had himself been denied, and was still denied, the pleasure of her intimate favors, and resented it; and two, that he had the soul of an imp. Imp defined as a little malignant spirit. Being an editor, you know words.
Upton didn't say.
So when the baby was four months old, and the expense of its upkeep made it desirable to dispose of it differently and permanently, X indulged himself in what he no doubt regarded as merely a prank. Choosing a Sunday in May because he knew Mrs. Valdon would be at home alone that evening, he got the baby from Ellen Tenzer, pinned to its blanket a slip of paper on which he had printed a message, deposited it in the vestibule of Mrs. Valdon's house, and telephoned her that there was something in her vestibule. The message is in my office safe. It said Your memory is more exact than mine, Archie.
I was in the chair Upton had passed by. Quote, I said. Mrs. Richard Valdon this baby is for you because a boy should live in his father's house.' End quote.
Repeat it, Upton commanded me.
I repeated it.
A little malignant spirit, Wolfe said. He not only had the pleasure of perturbing Mrs. Valdon; there was the added fillip of telling Miss Mardus what he had done. But Mrs. Valdon came to me, and it took Mr. Goodwin and me just three days to learn that the baby had been in the care of Ellen Tenzer. Mr. Goodwin went to see her and spoke with her, and she was alarmed. I doubt if she knew how the baby had been disposed of; she probably didn't know who the mother was; but she did know that its origin was supposed to be a secret, never to be revealed. She communicated with X, and they met that evening. The soul of an imp is a strange phenomenon. It had led him to perform what he regarded as a permissible prank, but the threat of its imminent disclosure was intolerable. Permissible but not disclosable. He was with Ellen Tenzer in her car, and his strangling her was not on sudden impulse, for he must have had the cord with him.
Upton stirred on the couch. He was listening with both ears and both eyes. I would give something, he said, to know how much of this is invention. All of it?
No. Most of it is established or can be. Some, not much, is surmise on valid grounds. This next is surmise, for Miss Mardus did not tell me whether or when she had suspected that X had killed Ellen Tenzer. She must have suspected it if she knew that her baby had been in Ellen Tenzer's care, but she may not have known that. Did she read newspapers?
What?
Did Miss Mardus read newspapers?
Of course.
Then it is not a surmise that after her talk with me she did suspect that X had killed Ellen Tenzer. More than a mere suspicion. The newspapers had reported Mr. Goodwin's visit to Ellen Tenzer. Must I elucidate that? No.
Then the rest is manifest. After her talk with me Miss Mardus did what Ellen Tenzer had done after her talk with Mr. Goodwin; she communicated with X. They met that evening, and he had a piece of cord in his pocket. Not, from the published descriptions, the same kind of cord he had used with Ellen Tenzer. A shrewd precaution. The threat now was disclosure not merely of a nasty prank, but of murder. He strangled her this time, perhaps, in his own car and dumped the body in an alley. An alley on Perry Street, less than a block from the building where Willis Krug lives. Returning her to her former husband? That's not even surmise, merely comment. That would be suitably impish, wouldn't it?
Finish it, Upton croaked. Surmise who is X.
That's risky, Mr. Upton. That might be slander.
Yes. It might. Apparently they don't know any of this at the District Attorney's office. I was there most of yesterday. Shouldn't you tell them?
I should, yes. I haven't. I shall when I can name X.
Then you're withholding evidence?
I'm doing something much worse; I'm conspiring to obstruct justice. So are Mr. Goodwin and Mrs. Valdon. That's why you must be detained until I can name X.
You sit there and calmly… Upton let it hang. It's unbelievable. Why me? Why are you telling me?
I needed to discuss it with you. I talked with Bingham and Krug and Haft on Saturday, and I wanted to talk with you. One of them advanced the opinion, not explicitly but by implication, that you had killed Carol Mardus. His point was that you would not have let her take a six months' vacation unless she confided in you the compelling reason for it, that you knew she was pregnant, and that therefore she had probably had your help in disposing of the baby. Hence the conclusion that you are X. Surely not wanton. When I said I wanted to discuss the likelihood that you're a murderer you said blah. I don't think you can dismiss it so cavalierly.
I still say blah. And I'm not going to conspire to obstruct justice. He stood up. I am going to see if you'll actually… He headed for the door.
Not having any great desire to dangle him, I merely beat him to the door and put my back to it. He made a grab for my arm, but missed and got the front of my jacket, and started pulling. That isn't good for a jacket, especially a light summer weight, and I got his wrists and twisted, maybe a little harder than necessary. He let go, so I did too, and the damn fool hauled off and swung. I sidestepped, whirled him around, pinned his arms from behind, hustled him across to a chair, and put him in it. That chair had been meant for him anyway. As I went to mine a ring came from the phone in the cabinet at the end of the room, but I ignored it.
Wolfe grunted. Very well, you've established that you're under duress. So you're not conspiring. We'll assume that you are not X. But surely Miss Mardus told you why she had to have six months off. You knew she was pregnant and intended to give birth. Didn't she tell you later, when she returned, who had helped her dispose of the baby? You must see, Mr. Upton, that that is a question you must answer.
He was panting and glaring, at me. He moved the glare to Wolfe. Not to you, he said. I'll answer it to someone who has a right to ask it. And you'll have questions to answer, plenty of them. He stopped for breath. I haven't mentioned the baby to the police because I didn't know it had any connection with her murder, and I don't know it yet. I have told them about the anonymous letters, and about your wanting lists of names of women who knew Dick Valdon, and that you probably got them from Krug and Haft and Bingham. If you think you can crawl There was a knock at the door, and I went and opened it enough to see out. Lucy was there. She whispered, Saul Panzer, and 1 nodded, shut the door, and told Wolfe, Phone for you, and he got up and came. I opened the door for him and shut it after him, returned to my chair, and sat.
You were interrupted, I said politely. You were saying something about crawling. If you want to go on I'll be glad to listen.
Apparently he didn't. He didn't even want to glare, and I knew why. His wrists were hurting and he didn't want to give me the satisfaction of seeing him rub them, and had to concentrate. When a wrist gets that particular twist it hurts for a while. I happened to know that there was a tube of salve in a cabinet upstairs that would have helped, but I wasn't going to take him up to get it. It wasn't my house, and anyway he shouldn't have jerked my ja
cket out of shape. Let him suffer. He did so, for a good fifteen minutes.
The door opened and Lucy entered, followed by Wolfe. She stopped and he advanced. Upton left the chair and started to speak, but Wolfe cut in. Keep your seat. Mrs. Valdon is going to make a phone call, and you may as well hear her. He turned to me. Tell her Mr. Cramer's number.
I did so, and she repeated it and headed for the cabinet at the end of the room. Upton moved in that direction but came up against me, and he told her back that Wolfe was a liar and a charlatan and so forth. When she got her number and spoke, he shut up and stood and listened. So did I. From the trouble she had getting Cramer, even though she gave her name, I guessed Lieutenant Rowcliff was on. I will never understand why Cramer keeps him around. But finally Lucy got him.
Inspector Cramer? Yes, Lucy Valdon. I'm at home, my house on Eleventh Street. I have decided to tell you some things about the baby and about Carol Mardus… Yes, Carol Mardus… No, I don't want to tell the District Attorney, I want to tell you… No, I don't know where Nero Wolfe is. I've decided I have to tell you, but I'm going to do it my way. I want to tell some other people too, at the same time… Willis Krug and Leo Bingham and Julian Haft, and I want you to bring them or have them come… That's right… No, I won't do that, I want them to hear me telling you… No, I won't, and I can be stubborn, you know I can, they have to be here with you… No, Manuel Upton is here with me now… That's all right, I'm all right… Yes, I know exactly what I'm doing… Of course, come right away if you want to, but I'm not going to tell you anything until they're all here… Yes, certainly… All right, I won't.
She hung up and turned. Was that all right?
No, Wolfe said. You shouldn't have told him Mr. Upton is here. He'll come first and want to see him. It's not important; you'll tell him he has gone. Archie, take him to the fourth floor and keep him quiet. In all the years I have been with Nero Wolfe that was the first and only time, to my knowledge, that he has been alone with a woman in a bedroom. The room was the one on the fourth floor he bad slept in, and the woman was Anne Tenzer. I'm merely reporting, not insinuating; the door of the room was standing open, and not far away was another open door, to the room where I was keeping Manuel Upton quiet but that gives a false impression. He was keeping himself quiet, needing no help from me. After hearing Lucy invite Inspector Cramer to call he hadn't uttered more than twenty words, and half of them had been to decline the offer of a ham sandwich and a glass of milk, brought up by Wolfe. I had accepted. Perfectly scrambled eggs are a fine dish, but they digest away on you.
Saul Panzer was downstairs helping Lucy receive and seat the guests, following instructions from Wolfe on the arrangement. He told me later that it was Leo Bingham, coming last, who held it up. It was twenty-five minutes to two when I heard footsteps and looked out and saw Saul at the door of the other room. He spoke to Wolfe, turned to me and said, All set, and went to the stairs and started down. I ushered Upton out and into the elevator, and in a moment we were joined by Wolfe and Anne Tenzer. There would have been room for a couple more provided they weren't Wolfe's size. He pushed the button himself and cocked his head as we descended, listening for a creak or a groan, and hearing none. I suspected that before long I would be told to find out how much one like it would cost.
I have never thought that Inspector Cramer was a sap, and still don't. Take his reaction when he twisted his head around and saw us enter. He jumped up, opened his mouth, and shut it. He realized instantly that Wolfe wouldn't have dared to stage that charade if he hadn't had a line he was sure of, and if he blew his top in front of witnesses he might be just making it sweeter for Wolfe in the end. As we crossed to the group his face got redder and his mouth tighter, but he didn't let out a peep.
Saul had placed them as instructed. Lucy was off to the left, and near her was a chair for Anne Tenzer. Willis Krug and Julian Haft were on the couch, and Leo Bingham was on a chair at its right end. Cramer's chair was midway of the couch, facing it, and Saul was to his left. The roomiest chair, for Wolfe, was where I had put it earlier, near the left end of the couch, where there was space for Upton and me, putting Upton next to Haft and me not far from Wolfe.
But Upton had other ideas. When we reached the couch, instead of sitting he turned to face Cramer. I want to enter a charge, Inspector, he said. Against Nero Wolfe and Archie Goodwin. They have held me here by force, physical force. Goodwin assaulted me. I am Manuel Upton. I don't know what the charge is technically, but you do. I want you to put them under arrest.
Cramer had enough on his hands for the moment without that. He eyed him. They're facing a more serious charge, he growled. He looked down at Wolfe, seated. What about this one?
Wolfe made a face. Mr. Goodwin and Mrs. Valdon and I will flout it. I suggest that you act on it later, if at all. We have a graver matter to deal with as you know, since obviously Mrs. Valdon's phone call was prompted by me.
When did you come here?
Saturday. Day before yesterday.
You've been here since Saturday?
Yes.
Goodwin too?
Yes. Won't you sit? I don't like to stretch my neck.
Arrest them, Upton croaked. That's a formal demand. Arrest them.
Don't be an ass, Wolfe told him. I'm going to name a murderer, and Mr. Cramer knows it. Otherwise he would have arrested me, not on your charge, as soon as he caught sight of me. He looked around, right and then left. Cramer sat, I sat. That left Upton the only one on his feet, so he sat, between Haft and me on the couch.
Wolfe focused on Cramer. I don't know how much you know, but gaps can be filled in later. This murderer is one of those unfortunate creatures who, neither designed nor fitted for that spectacular role, find themselves. Save that for later too, Cramer growled.
It's a necessary introduction. Find themselves abruptly rocketed into it. Some seven months ago Carol Mardus asked him to help her dispose of a baby she didn't want to keep, and he obliged her. If you had told him then that as a result of that amiable favor to a friend be would be twice a murderer within the year, he would have thought you were demented. The next fateful step, though not amiable, was not murderous; it was merely mischievous. Knowing that Richard Valdon had been the father of the baby, he took. That's too big a gap. Was it the baby that was boarded by Ellen Tenzer?
Yes. I see this won't do. I must name him. Did you recognize the woman who entered the room with me?
No.
She is Anne Tenzer, the niece of Ellen Tenzer. She was of course questioned in the investigation of her aunt's death, but apparently not by you. Wolfe turned. Miss Tenzer, will you please tell Mr. Cramer what your occupation is?
Anne cleared her throat. She was still a blonde, and if you asked ten men which of the two women sitting there was more attractive, her or Lucy, probably seven of them would say her. When she had entered the elevator and seen me she had said one word, hello, very offhand. Hello is not hi.
Her cool competent eyes went to Cramer. I'm a secretary, with the Stopgap Employment Service. We fill in vacations, any temporary vacancies. I'm at the senior executive level.
So you have worked for many different firms? Wolfe asked.
I have worked at many different firms. My employer is the Stopgap Employment Service. I average about fifteen assignments a year.
Is there anyone in this room you have ever worked for on assignment?
Yes.
Do you recognize him?
Certainly. Julian Haft, president of the Parthenon Press.
When did you work for him?
I don't know the exact dates, but it was early last summer. I think it was the last two weeks in June and the first week in July.
Did your work bring you into frequent contact with Mr. Haft?
Yes. I was replacing his private secretary. She was on vacation.
Was the name of your aunt, Ellen Tenzer, ever mentioned in conversation with him?
Yes. He dictated a letter about a book, a manuscript, by a
woman who had been a nurse, and I mentioned that I had an aunt who had been a nurse, and we talked about her a little. I must have mentioned that she boarded babies in her house sometimes, because when he called me up, he asked. If you please. When did he call you up?
Several months later, in the winter, I think some time in January. He called the Stopgap Employment Service and left a message, and I called him. He asked if my aunt still boarded babies, and I said I thought so, and he wanted her name and address.
You supplied it? The name and address?
Yes.
Have you been. Just a minute. Cramer was glaring at her. Why didn't you mention this when you were questioned at the time of your aunt's death?
Because I had forgotten no, I hadn't forgotten, but I didn't think of it. Why should I?
What reminded you of it now?
A man came and asked me. She nodded at Saul. That man. He named some men, four men, and asked if I had ever met any of them. I told him I had met Julian Haft, that I had worked for him, and he asked if I had any reason to suppose that he had ever heard of my aunt. Then of course I remembered, and I told him. He said it might help to find out who had killed my aunt, and I told him all about it.
With him helping you to remember?
I don't know what you mean, helping me.' I do my own remembering. How could he help me remember?
He could make suggestions. He could suggest that you had told Mr. Haft that your aunt boarded babies. He could suggest the phone call that you say you received in January.
Maybe he could, but he didn't. He didn't suggest anything, he just asked questions. It's you who are suggesting things. I'm doing something I'm not supposed to do, and I've never done it before. The kind of work I do, for lots of different men, important men, I'm not supposed to talk about it to anyone, and I never do. I'm talking about this, because it's not really about my work, it's about my aunt, and she was murdered.
