by Dawn Norwell
My gaze fell on Athena’s cool blue eyes. I saw understanding staring back at me, as though she knew what my choice would be without even asking. She didn’t try to dissuade me, but stepped forward and planted a gentle kiss on my cheek.
“Be good to one another, and know that I am always with you,” she said.
With a proud smile, she drifted away, leaving me standing alone in the abyss. I stared after her, awestruck, until a dazzling light shined through in the darkness.
An unpleasant pressure formed in my heart, flowing outward through my extremities. The cold metal pressed against my chest, and then the jolt of electricity shooting through my body- once, twice, three times- bringing me back to life. I gave in to the sensation, allowing it to pull me to the brightness.
Zander, I’m coming.
I found the light- my star in the vast darkness- and ran toward it, ready to be in his arms once more.
**********
You never hear how painful it is to die. I suppose most people who come back don’t remember the events leading up to their demise, but I remembered every detail. I’d never forget the feeling of the steel blade inside of me as my life faded away, how my body reacted with each ounce of blood that was lost, or the fear of knowing you were going to die and there was nothing you could do about it. It was an experience that would never truly leave me.
This pain, however, was nothing compared to the agony I experienced when I came back to consciousness. Yes, I was sore from my injuries, but this wound ran deeper than that. This was the indescribable hurt of a mother who had lost her child.
Nothing can adequately describe the emptiness I felt when I opened my eyes and felt my flattened stomach where my daughter once resided. I clawed at my abdomen desperately, as though my pregnant belly was really there and I just wasn’t seeing correctly under the influence of the drugs.
But no matter how long I searched, no matter how much I tried to refute it, I couldn’t deny that she was gone. I turned into my pillow and sobbed, weeping for the loss of the daughter I had barely known.
A few minutes later, Zander walked in from the hallway with a cup of coffee in his hand. When he saw me in my frantic state, he dropped the drink and ran to my side, his forehead creasing as he took in my hysteria.
“Kai, what's the matter?” He glanced down at my hands, tearing at my stomach. “Are you hurting? I’ll get Ximea.” I grabbed his arm to stop him- there weren’t drugs strong enough to help me through this pain.
“I’m… so… sorry Zander,” I mumbled between sobs. The cries racked my body, sending pain shooting through the area where the knife wound was, but I didn’t care. I deserved worse than this for my carelessness.
“Don’t be sorry, Kai,” he said, holding me close. “Am I still upset that you put yourself in so much danger? Of course. But, after a century of being repressed, we finally beat the Syndicate. We won the war because of you.”
“But at what cost?”
His brow furrowed. “Everyone who lost their lives knew what they signed up for. They chose to fight for Nova anyway. I have to believe that they would make that decision again if they had to do it over. If not for them, we wouldn’t have been victorious. Now that the battle is over, things will be different. You just wait and see,” he said with a small smile.
Hot anger ran through me at his words. How could he be so dismissive of our loss? How could the man I loved be so cruel about the death of his child?
“And what about your daughter? Did she sign up for this?!” Tears poured down my cheeks as I continued to grasp at my stomach like a madman.
Zander’s forehead creased with confusion, then smoothed as he comprehended my words. Crawling into bed with me, he held me in his arms and shushed me as I wept into his shirt.
“I’m so sorry. I assumed that Ximea had already talked to you,” he said, his eyes filling with tears. “The baby is okay. Ximea was able to do a cesarean and get her out in time. She’s doing just fine.”
“W-what?” I asked, sobs still racking my body.
“Our baby is alive and doing well,” he smiled.
She’s okay? Our baby girl made it?
I hadn’t fully grasped his words when Ximea came into the room. She smiled when she noticed that I was awake, pushed the bassinet to my bedside. Inside the contraption, a tiny baby was screaming, her cheeks red from exertion.
“Here she is,” Ximea said in a singsong voice, pulling the cradle to my side.
I peered inside and saw a tiny newborn, swaddled in a pink blanket. My mouth fell open with awe. I had almost come to terms with the fact that our baby hadn’t made it, so it was surreal to see the child before me, alive and well. Could this really be our baby? I had the answer to my question when she opened her eyes to look at me, and Zander’s bright blue eyes stared back from her innocent face.
I stared at my brown locks on the crown of her head and the way her nose curved the same way mine did. She had Zander’s brilliant eyes and his full lips. Even between her cries, it was set in a half-grin that melted my heart the same way Zander’s did.
I reached into the bassinet to touch her, grinning as her tiny hand gripped tightly to my index finger. Tears continued to fall from my eyes, but this time, they were tears of joy.
“Are you sure she’s okay?” Zander asked, a frown on his face. “She hasn’t stopped crying since she was born.”
“She’s just fine,” Ximea reassured him. “I’ve double and triple checked her vitals, and everything is normal. Her surgery was a success.”
“Surgery?” I asked, my eyes wide.
Ximea nodded. “I had to repair a tiny hole in her heart where the tip of the knife had penetrated,” she said, her face contorting with disgust. “But everything went smoothly, and she’s healing nicely. Would you like to hold her?”
I looked at Ximea, unable to answer. She smiled encouragingly. When I didn’t respond, she lifted the baby from the cradle and set her gently in my folded arms.
I could hardly fathom that our little girl had made it, but now, holding her in my arms, there was no denying that she had beat the odds. Our little girl was a survivor, just like her Daddy.
“What’s her name?” I asked, my voice thick with unshed tears.
“We were waiting for you to decide,” Zander said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “It seems fitting that you be the one to choose her name.”
I nodded, staring into my daughter’s bright blue eyes. Gently, I ran my fingers over the mark above her heart, where the knife had nearly taken her from me.
“She’ll always have the scar, I’m afraid,” Ximea said, apologetic.
I wasn’t bothered by this. Now that I knew she was okay, I was glad the scar would linger. It would be a reminder to her, to us, to the people of Nova, and Concord, of the cruelty we had had to endure before we could find peace. I stared at her wound, a mark of triumph, and perseverance when all had looked to be lost. Hopefully, the reminder would keep us from ever going back to that dark place again.
The little girl cried and squirmed in my arms for a few seconds, but soon fell silent, as she drifted off to a peaceful sleep. I listened to her soft coos as she dreamed, her small chest rising and falling softly.
Zander smiled. “That’s the first time she’s quieted down in days. I guess she just missed her Mommy.”
Mommy…. Tears of happiness fell from my face as I held our baby in my arms, knowing that my life had changed forever. I was a mother now. From this point forward, my world revolved around this delicate life that Zander and I had created.
As I gazed into the sweet, innocent face of my child, I realized just how much I loved her. If it came down to it, I would sacrifice everything that I had and everything that I was for her happiness. My little girl, our miracle baby who had survived so much- starvation, torture, and even the brink of death couldn’t keep her away from us. She fought for us as much as we had fought for her.
Our little family had overcome all the odds, had defe
ated every obstacle placed before us. We were brought together by fate and held together by love. I smiled as I realized that this was how it was always meant to be, and about destiny worked in mysterious ways.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: RESURGENCE & RENEWAL
I t was a strange feeling, being truly free- free from the hospital, free from the threat of battle, free from the Syndicate. I no longer had to worry about Zander dying in battle, or Thane threatening my life or the life of my baby. For the first time in a long time, I was carefree, no longer worried about what could happen when I stepped out the front door.
Ximea had warned me before my release that she didn’t have any pain medication left, as it had been used for the wounded in battle. I put on a brave face, telling her I didn’t need it. But when the pain finally hit, it was almost more than I could bear. My groin and abdomen felt like they were on fire, and I had difficulty moving without the searing pain in my mid-section. But it was a bittersweet pain because when I stared down at my daughter, I knew that I would go through the same agony ten times over just to hold her in my arms.
I looked at her scar often, thinking about how I nearly lost her, and of the other losses that our city had suffered. Yes, we had won the war, but the victory had came at a price. People were still dealing with the aftermath of the battle, holed up in their homes with their doors locked and their curtains drawn, mourning the loss of those they loved. Widows, orphans, sole survivors of their family lines were all paying the cost for our freedom.
Still, despite the sacrifices that were made, there was an air of excitement and joy that filled the courtyard. I took a deep whiff of the fresh air, reveling in the excitement as I stepped outside of the hospital for the first time in a week. I was enjoying the breeze, truly happy with my life when I saw Jax walking toward me out of the corner of my eye.
There goes my good mood, I thought, rolling my eyes. Seeing Jax approaching, Zander put the baby in her stroller and stepped in front of me.
“I just want to talk to her,” Jax reassured him, putting his hands up to show that he meant no harm.
Zander hesitated for a moment, but I touched his shoulder to tell him it was okay. He stepped aside, but hovered nearby, ready to intervene should it become necessary.
I stared at Jax cautiously, unsure where we stood. Yes, we had worked together during the war, but that could have been a temporary truce, a necessary alliance that was now null and void.
“I just wanted to say… good job during the battle,” he said, unable to look at me. There was an uncertain smile on his face, almost like a grimace. Complimenting a suit was still difficult for him. “Nova wouldn’t have won if it wasn’t for your quick thinking with the TIMs. And our kids would have been kill if you hadn’t stood up to that asshole suit,” he snarled.
“I know now that I was wrong for treating you the way that I did, and I’m sorry about that. I was hoping that we could start over, and let bygones be bygones,” he said timidly, putting his hand out in a friendly gesture.
For a moment, I wanted to slap his hand away. Did he think that it would be that simple? That he could hassle me for over a year, nearly kill me on two occasions, and then come crawling back when he realized that he was in the wrong? Was I supposed to just let him off the hook for making my life hell just because we worked together for a few hours during the war?
My mind drifted back to a day long ago, lounging in the Athena Suite after exploring the small library. One quote, in particular, had stood out from the book of poetry. It had resonated with me, and would forever hold a place in my heart.
“An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind," it said.
I knew now the truth in those words. If I wanted to see the world changed for the better, I would have to start by bettering myself. Step one of this process would be forgiving others, even when forgiveness seemed impossible.
Although it was hard for me to let go of what Jax had put me through, I knew it was just as hard for him to admit that he was wrong. It took a lot of courage for a headstrong man like him to solicit absolution. If I wanted there to be peace between our two worlds, it had to begin somewhere. If Jax and I could get along, than anyone could.
“I’d be happy to start over, Jax,” I said, reluctantly taking his hand. Relief flooded over him. He shook my hand and gave me a small smile before walking away. I stared after him, hoping that he truly meant what he said about an armistice.
Zander eyed me curiously out of my peripherals, his brows furrowed as though contemplating why I would do such a thing. I just shrugged and wrapped my arms around his waist, making a mental note to fill him in on the details later.
Zander draped his arm around me, enjoying the view before us. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”
I smiled, leaning into his chest, agreeing more than we would ever know.
As we held one another, I glanced around the courtyard, sad to see the state of Nova after the battle. Cleanup had started the moment the battle was over, but even a week later, the place was still in shambles. It would take time before the streets were cleaned of debris, and the buildings repaired, but this didn’t stop the smiles on the faces of people as they walked past us. Everyone was happy for the war to be over.
During my hospital stay, Zander had filled me in on the changes happening in Nova. Still, it was bizarre, but amazing, to see that there were as many suits as unsuits in the streets of Nova. It was shocking the number of suits who rebelled against the Syndicate once the battle had ended and the dome opened.
After the Concord’s government was overthrown, Zander had to the dome to explain the situation to the suits. Many were upset, but the majority of the citizens were happy to see the fall of the Syndicate. There were far more people inside the dome who’d had the same sentiments that I had than we could have ever realized.
The suits were so relieved to hear the news, they immediately held a vote, electing to merge with Nova. They decided to make Zander their leader, putting their full trust in anyone who could free them of the Syndicate’s rule. I found it fitting, considering that Zander came from parents who had been a suit and an unsuit, that he lead both groups.
Zander wasted no time in implementing a panel of trusted officials to help him keep things as impartial for both cities. He refused to lead as a dictator the way the Syndicate had, understanding the importance of surrounding himself with people from both sides that would keep him in check.
Now, the two groups seemed to have put aside their differences and working together to build a brighter future. No one seemed to notice who had barcodes, and who didn’t. They were all more than willing to pitch in with the restoration of Nova, clearing away the wreckage, and forming a place where the memorial would go to honor those who died for our freedom.
After the revolution had ended, and the merger finalized, all suits had to go through a mandatory screening. During this time, their brains were rewired using the procedure my mother perfected, giving them their individual thoughts back.
It was amazing to see the patients in recovery, their eyes wide as if they were seeing the real world for the first time. The dark veil that had clouded their eyes for so long had finally been lifted. This was the first day in an entirely new world for them, one where they could do whatever and be whoever they wanted. The notion filled my heart with joy; I was excited about their futures.
There was an extensive screening process to make sure the suits weren’t compromised, before letting them loose in Nova. Once the panel was certain someone was willing to accept the new way of life, and was no longer under the influence of the Syndicate, they were released and given the option to change careers if they wanted.
They also had to undergo sex education, something that appalled them. Sexual activity was taboo in Concord, but it was something they would have to come to terms with their new life, since babies would no longer be grown synthetically. If a couple- who could now choose each other without government approval- wanted to have a child, they would b
e required to see a doctor first, and then would do it the natural way. Now, the next generation would be more diverse, with each person different in their own unique way, like the world used to be.
The first ruling Zander passed, with the support of his panel, was to destroy all of the TIMs. Although there were advantages to living with androids, the TIMs held too much power. They would never have a place in our new, peaceful society. Instead, our goal was to get back to the basics, to live a simple life, where we took care of ourselves and each other, rather than relying on machines and genmod centers.
Part of this process meant suits and unsuits working together as a team. Nova would be sharing our scavenging and survival skills to help suits become more independent, and suits would be sharing Concord’s resources with the Nova. Both groups were reluctant at first, but they were slowly warming to the idea.
Zander had even created a team of scientists who would work to undo the effects of global warming and nuclear radiation. The goal was to make the wastelands between our cities- and even the land beyond that- habitable once again, so we could expand, and truly come together as one nation. It was a stretch, but if the Nova forefathers could do it, maybe we could, too.
To ensure as smooth a transition as possible, the unsuits had to go through counseling of their own. Each day, they attended sensitivity training to deprogram their brains from hating the suits and holding the years of repression against them. They were being taught to treat each other equally and to help the suits through this traumatizing initiation process as their world was turned upside down.
There were suits and unsuits who resisted the change, of course, people had been so bitter or so brainwashed- like sweet, naive Cora- that they would never be willing to live in peace with unsuits. They were so far gone that there was no chance of bringing them back. It was sad to think that they might be institutionalized for the rest of their lives because they couldn’t let go of their hatred, but it was a small price to pay for peace between our worlds.
