by Julie Cross
Collins glanced wearily at Courtney. “I know them as Agent Meyer’s adopted children … but … well…”
Courtney turned around and rolled her eyes. “I’m dead. We know. That’s why I’m mysteriously three years younger than my twin even though I was born first. Okay, moving on…”
“Why is no one talking about the fact that Stewart and I are fucking MIA?” Mason interrupted. “Are we dead or what?”
“What he means,” Stewart clarified, “is that … unlike Junior and Blondie here, neither Mason nor I returned to the point where we left, so…”
“There might be duplicates,” Kendrick finished.
I raised my hand but spoke before anyone called on me. “I think I can eliminate a few individual assessments assuming that in this current 2009, neither I, nor Holly nor Adam have joined the CIA, which is why Collins and Kendrick know Courtney and me only as Agent Meyer’s kids, correct?” I waited a second to get a nod from both Collins and Kendrick. “Marshall is the boss of Tempest, Dad is a subboss, and so is Collins. Now, have any of the people who didn’t just time-travel from the year 3200 ever heard of Eyewall?”
Dr. Melvin slowly lifted a hand in the air. “The child. She’s the reason I knew you’d arrive today and where you’d arrive and that none of you have any idea of the danger involved in returning to your former homes.”
“Emily,” Stewart and Holly both muttered.
“Can we just get to explaining that whole deadly viral outbreak thing?” I asked.
Kendrick stared at me. “Why did you try to hug me? I’ve never interacted with you in person.”
I had to admit, that stung a little. I valued Kendrick’s friendship even more than I’d realized. “We were partners in Tempest. I guess you could say we were friends.”
She must have read some of the disappointment in my face because her expression turned less hard, making her look more like the Kendrick I had known.
I clapped my hands together. “Okay. Virus. Danger. The world is different. Let’s talk about that.”
“I second Jackson’s suggestion,” Adam said.
“Me, too,” Holly said.
Honestly, I had expected Dr. Melvin or Marshall to start explaining first, but it was Dad who cleared his throat and started talking, his voice low, carefully concealing his emotions. “It was a theory of Eileen’s … creating an alternate world … the one Jackson calls World B … might eventually cause—”
“Convergence,” I suddenly remembered from a chat in Dr. Melvin’s office that seemed like five centuries ago.
Dr. Melvin nodded. “It’s not a clean break; splitting off to create this World B might not be completely separate. The virus most likely started from time jumps to World B. Any tiny alteration that Jackson made in that world which is different from this world causes delusions to occur in any individual who might have been affected by those changes.”
“And Jackson would have no idea of the chain reaction he’d created. It would all seem subtle,” Kendrick chimed in.
Dad’s hand landed on my shoulder, squeezing it tight. My heart was already racing, my palms sweating. Could I really have caused this viral outbreak and to what extent?
“The affected individuals then see two possible paths to every one journey,” Dr. Melvin explained. “They lose the ability to differentiate reality from delusion, or at least in the eyes of the U.S. government and the United Nations, the alternative paths they are seeing or remembering are viewed as delusions. But we know it’s reality, just not this reality.”
“Wait,” Holly said. “You mean you haven’t shared this information with the government? Or the UN? Isn’t that a little extreme, keeping your time-travel information a secret when there are people going crazy out there?”
“If we thought our information would help with finding a cure, of course we’d share it,” Dr. Melvin said. “But everything we know does nothing but confirm the fact that there is no cure and it’s only going to get worse.”
“Jackson isn’t the only one who jumped to World B,” Courtney announced. “He might have opened the door, but all those cloned time travelers have been bouncing off that other world and probably making all kinds of changes.”
“Well…” Dr. Melvin said. “That explains the severity of the outbreak. What all of you have to realize is that these chain reactions aren’t instant. Maybe something one of those cloned time travelers did caused a person to not get on a train or a bus or to jump into a different cab and thus it affected something two years, ten years, or a lifetime down the road … the possibilities are endless. It’s like a domino maze that goes on indefinitely.”
“Why didn’t we notice the virus before?” I asked. “This is the same night we left in 2009, yet we’ve come back from the future and everything has changed. Why?”
“The time jumps to World B must have increased while you were all trapped in 3200,” Marshall said. “It has created an alternate 2009 even though we’re still in the same timeline. There has been an irreversible alteration. Future events have altered the past and caused the outbreak of this virus to speed up. But it was present before you left, if I’m remembering right, Agent Meyer?” Marshall was looking at me and not Dad so I nodded, knowing that Stewart, Dr. Melvin, and Holly had all experienced delusions.
“But if it’s just delusions,” Mason said, “how is that dangerous?”
“They’re causing widespread panic,” Collins answered. “Worldwide panic to be more specific. The delusions have resulted in people’s no longer being able to grasp the concept of cause and effect or irreversible consequences. Currently, the virus is affecting about 25 percent of the United States population and 12 percent of the total world population. Those numbers go up on a monthly basis. There isn’t enough space in hospitals to hold everyone who’s infected. Of course, there are probably hundreds of thousands of people who are aware of early signs of it but are in denial. Over half of our division is currently locked up in the mental ward five floors above us.”
Silence fell on the entire room. From the corner of my eye, I saw Holly back away toward the door. “I’m infected, right? I know you’re all thinking it. I’m going to go crazy, aren’t I?”
She didn’t wait for anyone to correct her or to agree with her. She spun around and headed out the door and down the hall. Adam immediately started to follow her, but I held my arm out to stop him. “Stay here. You can explain everything to me later.”
There were all kinds of classrooms and restrooms, labs and rooms with regular army-style beds and some with hospital-style beds, lots of supply closets and offices full of computers and other machines. This was why it took me a good twenty minutes to find Holly sitting in the dark on the floor of a room that had a twin bed, white dresser, white walls, white bedding, a small closet, and a bathroom with a white bathtub and shower curtain with white towels hanging on a rack.
“I have a feeling this is exactly what my new home will look like,” Holly said, glancing up at me. “The only things missing are the padded walls and straitjacket. Did they decide already? How long before they take me up to the fifth floor?”
“If they take you, I’ll fake delusions.” I leaned against the doorframe, allowing my mind to focus on the positive, not the hopelessness we’d heard. “We can be roommates.”
Holly surprised me by laughing. “I’m not really as scared as I seemed in there. I just needed to get away. If Courtney can handle her fate with such bravery, I can handle mine.”
“It might not get any worse.” I stepped all the way into the room and walked over and sat down beside her.
Holly gave me a tiny smile. “Promise you won’t tell anyone I said this?”
“I have to promise in advance?”
She rolled her eyes. “Once I’d heard all the facts and knew what we were dealing with, I kind of felt okay with it. I mean, I thought we were going to die a few hours ago, and now I’m back in 2009 and Adam’s here and you and me are okay. And all I can think about is whether 25
percent of the population’s being infected would cause all the Starbucks in the city to close because I’d love to have some coffee. And maybe the hospital has a cafeteria and we could, like, get some pasta or something that isn’t fish cooked on a campfire or those meal bars. Maybe a piece of fruit or some vegetables? We’re all probably on the verge of scurvy right now.”
I stared at her in disbelief, hanging mostly on one tiny part of her speech. “You and me are okay? Really?”
The smile dropped from her face and she took a deep breath. “Do you want the honest answer or the vague one? Because I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the past three or four days.”
“The honest one,” I said without hesitation.
“Did you ever see the movie 50 First Dates?”
“The one where the girl loses her memory every day? With Adam Sandler?”
The urge to touch her, to pull her into my arms, was so strong I had to fight to keep my hands off her. Every time we got closer and then came apart, I had to constantly reevaluate my status. Was I someone who was allowed to touch Holly whenever I wanted or was it just certain moments? We’d had nothing but a hot-and-cold relationship, which was why I couldn’t believe she’d said we were okay.
“Yeah, that movie. It’s all I can think about right now,” she said. “Do you think it’s possible to make someone fall in love with you every single day?”
I laughed. “I know it’s not possible. Not every day. You can tell someone what they should feel or even what you know they’ve felt before but you can’t make them feel it.”
She was looking at me again, studying my face. “Okay, so that’s what you’re worried about, huh? That’s the expression you’re always wearing on your face that kind of scares the shit out of me. You want to know it’s real? That it’s really coming from this version of me?”
I hesitated before nodding. “Wouldn’t you?”
“Yeah, I would.” She turned her body, angling it toward me. “Since you asked for the honest answer, that’s what I’ll give you. I think you’re one of the most interesting, compassionate people I’ve ever met. You’re vulnerable and flawed and I love how you get so pissed off about Courtney and Mason and how you wanted to hate Blake but you couldn’t help liking him even though you were fighting this urge to break his nose every time he got too close to me.”
I pushed aside my grief for Blake and held my breath, unable to move a muscle while Holly’s voice totally captivated me. Her face was so bright and beautiful, I didn’t even want to blink. Somehow in the last few days, she’d dropped the agent facade and had just been Holly.
“And I love how loyal you and Stewart are to each other,” she continued. “And how you tell your dad everything … and the way you looked at me when I told you about Adam that night when you caught me searching your apartment. I knew he meant something to you like he did to me, but I couldn’t let myself see it then, not completely. I love how you are with Emily. She’s just this ball of glass waiting to shatter and you always know exactly what to say to her … and I love how many times you’ve managed to tell me you’re sorry.” She looked down at her hands, drawing in a shaky breath. “But I don’t know if I love you or if I’m too screwed up to be as close to you as another version of me was. I realize I’ve seemed more than enthusiastic on at least two occasions, but I don’t think I would have been able to take it much further than what we did. And I had confidence from the delusions, as weird as that sounds. When I tapped into that other Holly, it all felt familiar and my own fears vanished, I guess because she didn’t have those fears.”
“Holly—” I started to say, finding my voice.
She cut me off, touching her fingers to my mouth. “But without a doubt, I can totally see why and how other versions of me have fallen for you.”
I shook my head. “I was not the same guy the first time we met. Trust me.”
“I know myself pretty well, and I think I would choose potential to be amazing over someone who’s just plain great,” Holly said. “And I like sitting here with you as me … just me … I like that I can see you filtering out those versions and deciding if this version is good enough for you. I think it’s a good start, don’t you?”
I wanted to kiss her probably more than I’ve ever wanted to kiss anyone in my entire life, but I couldn’t ruin the moment or the progress we’d made. She was right, it had taken me a while to start seeing this Holly as this Holly. I smiled at her and nodded toward the door. “Want to go on our first date?”
“Where to?”
I got to my feet quickly and reached out a hand to help her up. “If I can dig into my memory, I should be able to gain the access code for the elevator and we can check out that hospital cafeteria.”
“Just us?”
“Just us,” I said, leading her out the door.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
DAY 1: 2009
Holly dumped a few more Skittles into her hand, tossing them quickly in her mouth. “Well, vending-machine junk food still beats what we’ve been eating lately.”
“Agreed.” I leaned back on the bench, closing my eyes, enjoying every bit of my Snickers bar. After taking the final bite, I turned and grinned at her. “What next? What other 2009 experiences should we have tonight?”
Holly crumpled the candy bag and her face turned serious all of a sudden. “I want to go home, see my mom. I know they’ll tell us we can’t. We don’t even know what my life is supposed to be like in this redesigned 2009, but I don’t care about any of that.”
One look at the desperation and intensity in her eyes and I knew she was dead serious, and there was nothing in the world I wanted more right now than to make Holly happy. I knew we shouldn’t do this either, and I knew Dad and everyone would be worried about our disappearing, but I didn’t really care about any of that either. “Okay.”
Surprise filled her face. “Really? We can go?”
“Yeah, but we should go now because if they don’t want us to do this, they’ll start watching us or say something meaningful enough for us to realize our stupidity and I’m kind of in an ignorance-is-bliss mood, how about you?”
“Totally.”
It took over an hour to get to Holly’s house, and all the sitting around on the train caused me to grow a little anxious and nervous about leaving without telling anyone. It wasn’t like we had working cell phones or anything either.
It was obvious right away from Holly’s face and the missing vehicle that her mom wasn’t home. Still, she found the hidden key and unlocked the door, letting me follow her inside and to her bedroom. I watched as she walked to the closet, lifting the sleeves of several different shirts to her nose and inhaling before throwing a big smile in my direction.
“It’s a little different than Agent Holly’s room but it still feels like me, like my stuff,” she said. She glanced over at me right then, hope filling her expression. “Do you think this is the normal Holly’s room?”
There was a framed picture lying on the nightstand. I held it up for her to see. Her eyes widened, and she said, “Oh my God! Do you think I’m still dating David? I was with him, right?”
I set the picture down and turned slowly to face her. “How do you know about that version of you?”
She busied herself, burying her face in a dresser drawer. “You know how Emily went all crazy and started writing a bunch of stuff down?”
I rolled my eyes. Of course I remembered.
“Well she wrote down Normal Holly’s diary and I swiped some of the pages while you and Adam were looking over your experiments or whatever.”
So that’s why she bolted from the tent that day. “Why do you call her Normal Holly?”
She shrugged. “What do you call her?”
I laughed. “Um, I called her Holly. Then I called her 009 Holly after I’d met 007 Holly and needed a way to distinguish the two when I explained stuff to Adam. Now … well, I don’t know what to call that Holly because I sort of went back to her but it was before th
e date I left and everything was different. I just don’t know. The diary I’ve seen was from the first Holly that I met. That much I know for sure.”
She stared at me, her mouth hanging open. “Wow, that is so freakin’ weird.”
“Yep.” I lifted up the mattress and yanked the blue velvet diary out. Holly snatched it from my hands before I got a chance to open it.
“Oh look, David and I broke up two days ago!” She flipped back several pages and sank down onto the bed, reading.
I wandered the room, searching for familiar items, opening drawers. My fingers froze on a pair of purple thong panties resting in Holly’s underwear drawer.
“Jackson, you’re such a stud.”
I dropped the panties, slamming the drawer shut, then glanced at Holly, expecting her to reprimand me, but she was still staring at the diary.
“This is the party in Jersey you were talking about at Healy’s ball, the one with the fire and camping and beer kegs. It was Adam’s party. I can’t believe you went to that.” Holly’s eyes were still on the diary in her hands but she patted the spot beside her.
I sat down, leaning in to read the page she was currently engrossed in.
Jackson looks comfortable and at ease chatting with Terri.
Figures.
I’m trying not to listen in on their conversation and what playboy method of flirting a guy like Jackson might use, but Terri’s voice carries so much, I can’t help but overhear.
“Oh my God! I love French poetry. I can’t believe that’s your major,” she squeals. “I totally would have picked that, but Brown isn’t the best school for it and my counselor told my parents I could never have a career with that major.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Jackson says, with amusement in his voice. I guess it doesn’t matter if he makes any money in the future. Not like he needs it. “I’m also majoring in English lit, like your friend Holly Flynn is planning on doing.”
“Right,” Terri says, looking in my direction. “I forgot you’re going to NYU.”
