by Stacey Lynn
Hot firemen on the television are momentarily forgotten while I update my tasks and duties and qualifications. I’ve done some research on what a travel director for sports teams do and talked Sawyer’s ear off last night, so I feel pretty confident I can do the job.
It’s not in marketing and that might set me back if this doesn’t work out long-term.
Do I even want it to work long-term?
Let’s not even get me started on the things Jason said to me the other night, or the way he so easily offered to let me MOVE IN WITH HIM! He’s lost his mind. Taken one too many pucks to the helmet. Smashed one too many teeth.
He and all his growly I’m tired of waiting sexiness is saying all the things I wanted to hear years ago and instead of falling into his arms, confessing my unending lust slash maybe love for him, I’m more terrified of him than I ever have been.
“This is ridiculous,” I mutter, crafting an email to one Ms. Sylvia Kuznetsov. “I should hop on my flight on Saturday, get back home and sort myself out.”
With an air mattress and a need to go shopping since all I own now is currently in a carry-on suitcase in my brother’s guest room.
Sighing, I take a sip of my wine and stare at the blinking on my screen. With each passing moment, I swear it starts talking to me. Do it. Do it. You know you want to.
I take another sip of my wine, set it down, and quickly finish the email to Sylvia. My brother gave me her email as soon as Jason left the other night and it’s been staring at me on the nightstand. I’m pretty sure it’s been talking to me, too. Whispering coercive language while I sleep at night. I keep falling asleep thinking this is the worst idea, and waking up thinking it’s the best idea ever.
I’m so mentally screwed up. But I hit SEND and slap my laptop closed without waiting to ensure the email went through. I’ll leave it to fate. I’ve just slid it back to the coffee table and refilled my wine when a knock comes on the door.
Frowning, I consider ignoring it. I don’t know anyone and since Sawyer took his car, he’ll be able to get in through the garage. Plus, if there was a problem, he’d call.
“Tessa!” I jolt at the sound of my name coming through the door, muted by a voice I know.
Jason. He’s here. I stand on shaky legs and darn him for affecting me from so far away with only my name being shouted. He knocks again, louder this time, and I yell back, “I’m coming! Keep your pants on!”
I flip open the door and am met with the cockiest grin smiling back at me as Jason’s hands drop to the waistband of his navy cargo shorts. “I suppose I could agree to that. But wouldn’t it be more fun with them off?”
I slam the door back in his face but he’s too quick for me, because of course he’s too fast. His livelihood depends on his reflexes. He throws up his hand and the door slaps against it right before it can smack him in his previously broken nose. “Cute. Invite me in.”
“No.”
“Why? You scared?”
Of him? Uh. Yeah. Duh!
“What do you want, Jason?”
“Talk. I only came by tonight to talk.”
Chapter Eleven
Jason
* * *
It occurred to me over the last few days I made a gross overstep when it comes to Tessa’s life. In my defense, I pretty much steamroll over everyone and everything when it comes to getting what I want. Granted, it’s usually related to hockey and becoming the best on the ice. I keep pushing Tessa even when I try to step back. It’s simply not in me to take my time and be patient when it comes to what I want. I’ve debated for hours since practice ended if I was going to come here. As soon as Sawyer mentioned he and Debbie were headed out for dinner and a movie now that she is feeling better, all I kept thinking of was Tessa.
And the fact she’s alone. For hours.
While Tessa gapes at me like a fish, frozen to her spot, I take advantage of her shock and step through her brother’s front door and curl my hands around her shoulders, gently placing her to the side so I can enter.
She’s standing in front of me in a pair of black sweats that bunch at her ankles and a pale pink tank top with straps so thin I can see a strap of her bra peeking out from beneath on her shoulder. Her hair is piled on her head and I don’t think she has a speck of makeup on because I can see freckles dance across the bridge of her nose.
She’s also never been sexier.
“Tessa.”
It comes out on a groan and since she’s still gaping at me, I step forward. Another step. I move slowly, give her time to realize what I’m about to do and she either wants it as much as me, or she’s in some serious shock.
I reach out my hand and slide it to her neck where her pulse vibrates beneath my palm.
“Jason—”
“Don’t tell me to stop.”
She blinks, long light lashes flutter wildly and I keep moving closer to her until her breasts brush against my chest and her back presses to the stairway behind her. “We… this…”
“It’s happening. It’ll be okay.” I’m sure part of her is scared. But there’s nothing here in front of me that’s saying she doesn’t want this. I’ve waited too damn long. I want a taste. Just one little taste of her to see if all the chemistry I’ve always felt is in my mind or real. That’s all this is.
A chemistry test.
I tilt her head up until she’s forced to meet my gaze. My free hand curls around the banister behind her. I’ve caged her in and while her claws are sheathed, I take my chance.
I press my mouth to hers and in an instant, a wholeness I haven’t felt in almost a decade suffuses everything together in my system. This, this is what I’ve spent years waiting for. For Tessa, her mouth on mine, the taste of her red wine on my lips and the flowery scent of her perfume invading my senses so strongly a rumble builds deep in my gut and bursts from my throat, straight into her mouth. I part her lips with mine and freaking hell she succumbs, stops fighting the kiss, and begins to participate.
Her hands fly to my hips, fingers dig into my shirt, clinging me to her but this woman… she has to know there’s nowhere I’d rather be. Unless that other place is us closer together, clothes flying off until there’s nothing left between us.
My dick is hard, a throbbing incessant need in my shorts, and I roll my hips forward until she can feel the hard length against her lower stomach.
Yes. She feels even better against my body than I imagined she would and I’ve done a lot of imagining over the years.
Her mouth yanks from mine and her eyes fly open, blue pools of lust blink back at me and she breathes out my name. “Jason—”
Pretty sure we aced that test.
“It’s okay,” I tell her because her eyes are wide and she’s gasping for breath but there’s a wild fear swirling in the look too. “You feel this though, right? You feel it, too?”
She blinks rapidly. Lashes flutter across her cheekbones while she stands inches from me, mute.
This isn’t even what I came for but I can’t be sorry about it, either. Still, I force myself to regain control and while she still stands so close and unmoving, I place a gentle kiss on her forehead before resting mine there.
“You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t come for this but you’re irresistible.”
“Jesus,” she whispers and I laugh. And I think she means God, so I tell her I’d prefer if she called me that which earns a soft laugh from her.
Exactly what I wanted.
“If I step back are you going to bolt to your room and lock the door?”
“I was thinking more about chugging the rest of the wine over there.” She points to some place behind me.
“How about instead of that, we hang out and talk?”
“I think that seems equally dangerous as what we just did.”
“Funny. That didn’t feel at all dangerous to me. It felt perfect.”
“Shit, Jason. Give me a minute to process this, okay? A week ago I didn’t even know you had these thoughts or feel
ings for me and now everything’s changing so fast.”
“I’m not really a tap the brakes kind of guy,” I admit.
“Well I’m not really a full steam ahead kind of girl, so you might have to compromise here.”
I chuckle and kiss the top of her head again. “Point taken. Although I don’t really do that well either.”
She pushes against my chest and I give her space, but before she can slide away from me, I take her hand and guide her to the couch. She collapses onto the couch immediately like her knees have gone weak. I smile as I refill her wineglass. I made those knees weak and I’m pretty damned proud of myself for it.
“Thank you,” she says, taking the glass from me.
I head off toward the kitchen where I know the rest of the wineglasses hang and grab one. When I return to the living area, she’s reseated herself on the couch and I take in the way she’s sitting. Knees bent and feet propped on the couch in front of her. Ankles crossed, one hand wrapped around her legs. She couldn’t curl herself any tighter into a ball.
I give her the space she’s basically begging me for with her body language and sit on the far chair.
“You might not actually believe me based on what just happened but I came over tonight to apologize for pushing you too far the other night at dinner.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Sure.” She tips her head to the side. The mess of her hair on top of her head flops along with her. “I’d like to hear you apologize.”
I sort of thought that’s what I did and for a moment I don’t speak until Tessa starts, “Dearest Tessa, I’d like to humbly—”
I lift my hand. “I get it.” Quirking an eyebrow, I ask, “Dearest, though? Really?”
“If you’re going to do something, might as well be the best at it.”
I chuckle and take a sip of my drink and set it on the table next to my chair. Clasping my hands together, I prop my elbows on my spread knees and lean forward. “Dearest Tessa, I’d like to humbly apologize for pushing too hard the other night. Maybe announcing the job wasn’t the right time. Maybe throwing out the idea of living with me wasn’t right.”
“Maybe?”
“I suppose you and I won’t know unless we try.”
Blue eyes narrow on me into slits and she takes a drink. “Why now?”
“Because you don’t have Will. Because you’re here. Because I’ve wanted this a long time and barely held myself back on New Year’s and I felt like a serious asshole for that afterward since you were engaged. But now… now, I don’t want you to leave back for Toronto without at least making it clear I’m interested.”
Her limbs slowly loosen until she’s not wrapped around herself like a pretzel anymore.
“I don’t know what to do about any of this.” She flips her hand in the air. “The job, moving… I still need to figure out all that crap with Will and that obviously sucks, by the way. And then there’s you… and Sawyer.”
“I’ll handle Sawyer when the time comes.” I’ll handle Will too, if I ever see the loser, face to face.
“When the time comes?”
“Well I’m not going to wait around tonight and tell him I want to shoot my shot with his little sister, if that’s what you’re asking. That’ll get his fist slammed into my face.”
“You know I am an adult. I’m not sure we have to tell him anything.”
“He’s my best friend. I’ll tell him. He’ll hate me if I don’t, but that doesn’t mean it has to be right away either.”
“You make this sound so easy.”
“I don’t think anything between us will be easy. I think our emotions run high and we’ll fight a lot and we’ll snark back and forth and we’ll disagree about movie choices and restaurants to eat at. I think we’ll fight a lot.”
“Well, don’t you make this sound fun.”
“Oh. I’m getting to the fun stuff. I think that all means we have a lot of passion between us and when we unleash that… that will be explosive and fucking beautiful. Much like that kiss was. Plus, I’ve always heard make up sex is hot sex.”
She blushes then and loosens her limbs further. I take the chance and stand and take my wineglass with me while I move to sit next to her on the couch.
“You want this, don’t you? At least tell me I’m not the only one feeling this. That I haven’t been the only one…”
“You haven’t.” A rush of a laugh bellows from her and she shakes her head. And God, she’s beautiful when she’s nervous. “Damn it, Jason. You’re not even playing fair here right now. This is unexpected. So crazy. It’s all my teenage dreams come true and that’s terrifying as hell.”
“Want to tell me about those dreams?” I tease. “Maybe we can reenact some of them.”
She chokes on the wine she’s just sipped and slaps my shoulder. “No. No way. You’re never knowing those.”
“No?” Damn, she’s beautiful. Even with all this mess of hair and nerves she still has balls of steel and a fiery attitude I don’t even want to tame. I want to see how hot she can burn. Stroke the embers. “I could tell you some of mine.”
Chapter Twelve
Tessa
* * *
This guy. I’m not sure what to do with him right now. Kick him out? Pull him close? My pulse is thrumming in my veins making my whole body feel alive and antsy. And here’s Jason, sitting close, smelling so good, and looking so much better.
I now know what he tastes like and it’s so much better than anything those teenage dreams I’ve had of him could come close to.
“No. I don’t want to know those.” I mean, yes, I do. Tell me all of them, Jason. Tell me the dirtiest ones. The ones that repeat in your mind. The ones you go to when your hand is all you have. Obviously I want that. Obviously I like hearing all these things come out of his luscious, kissable mouth.
But is it smart?
He chuckles and shakes his head. Like I’m cute. But really! He thinks I’m cute! And beautiful! I should be doing backflips in my brother’s living room right now.
Gesturing to the laptop on the coffee table, he asks, “What about that job I mentioned? Have you given it any thought?”
Only every single second since he left the other day. “Yeah.” I hesitate how much to tell him. He clearly came here with a goal, but I’m still not sure our goals align even as fantastic as he makes the possibility of us sound. “Yeah, I well… I emailed Sylvia my resume earlier. Right before you got here actually.”
“Yeah? So you do want to move here?”
“I don’t know what I want yet. But I do really like the idea of being close to Sawyer and Debbie, especially with them having a baby.”
He grins, leaning back into the couch. He’s put space between us and my psychotic brain doesn’t know if I’m thankful for it and want him to lean in. “Crazy shit, isn’t it?”
He looks almost as happy as I feel at the thought of Sawyer having a baby and for a split second, all my worries and fears evaporate into wordless bubbles in my brain.
This… this guy right here, grinning up at me, happy for Sawyer… these are only a few of the reasons why I love him so much.
But giving Jason a chance? A real one? Despite the kiss that almost made my knees give out earlier, despite his words and his boldness… giving him a chance frightens me.
How much do I have to lose if this goes sideways? He’s been a part of my life for so long, and embedded in my heart for almost as long, what will I have left, if this doesn’t work? I’d rather have him in my life as my brother’s best friend than not at all.
I think all of this, about all of the cons and pros Debbie wrote down earlier this week and blurt out, “I hate the winters in Toronto.”
Jason brings his glass of wine to his lips and hides his smile. “Yeah?”
“Don’t get cocky. I also really hate the heat and humidity.” He gives me a look, and I smirk at him. “Don’t say anything about how you can get cocky. Grow up.”
“
Oh, it’s up. Almost always is when you’re around.”
I choke down my wine and shake my head. “You can’t start saying things like this to me.”
“The truth?”
“Yes. Actually that’s a great idea, let’s go back to you not saying the truth. I think I like that version of you better.”
“No you don’t.” His head tips to one side along with a chunk of that hair I’d love to get my hands on. “I think you’re more scared of this version.”
“Psssh. I’ve already said I’m not afraid of you.”
He smirks. “And I know when you’re lying. I also know when you’re nervous, you fidget with your left earlobe.”
I open my mouth to say something, but yup. Sure enough, my left hand is at my ear, tugging on my earring. “That doesn’t mean anything. My earrings make my ears itch sometimes.” I drop my hand to the back of the couch. Then my lap and then drape it over my stomach. Good grief! What do I do with my hands?
“Okay.” It should be criminal for people to be so damn good looking. I’m momentarily stunned by the simple beauty of Jason as he leans in, and his hand reaches out, brushing a chunk of my hair behind my ear. His fingers linger there making obvious goosebumps erupt on my neck.
“Nerves and fears aside, Tessa, do you want this?”
What? His body? Hell yes I do! And no. Will has left some parts of me chipped and marred and I’m not sure I trust myself to make any rational or sane decision right now. Case in point: the way I’m already leaning into his soft touch.
“I like the idea of being close to Sawyer,” I admit. It’s not like I never considered it. But back when he was early in his career, the risks of him being traded was too high. I didn’t want to bounce around two countries following him, but he’s settled here. He’s older. What would happen if I did do this?
“And me.” Jason’s hand skirts to the back of my neck and gosh, he’s so warm. So firm while being so soft at the same time. His voice alone makes my knees wobble. Thank goodness I’m sitting down. The heat from his hand spreads down my chest, straight to my heart until we’re connected. I try to move away from his closeness, the seriousness in his chocolate brown eyes, but his hand on my neck stops me. “Do you like the idea of being close to me?”
