"I don't know what’s going on. I was fine months ago and just suddenly all this happens. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I dream about things that don't even make sense," I explained. "Do you know how long it took me to build up my walls after Eddy destroyed me?" I asked. "It took three years. I couldn't look at a punching bag without seeing his face. I blamed myself for years until I stood up and dusted myself off. And now he is back, saying things I don't want to hear. I don't want him. I am over him. But this scar he left has made me this empty, lonely person, who pushes people away. And I fuckin’ hate it." I could feel tears starting to build up.
"I hate feeling this vulnerable. I hate showing my emotions like this. It makes me feel so weak." I said feeling a tear roll down my cheek.
Someone finger wiped it off and I gasped as I felt the tingles. I looked up and saw Ryder looking down at me.
"Wh-when did you get here?" I asked, pulling away and wiping off the other tears.
"Hey, now." He pulled me against his chest.
I was hanging onto his shirt, gritting my teeth to keep me from crying. There was no way I was crying now.
"Stop that," I heard him say and looked up. "Trying to keep your emotions locked up, that’s why this is happening. Crying doesn't make you weaker."
I nodded and he placed a kiss on my cheek. He bent down and picked me up in his arms and carried me out. "See you, dad!" I heard Ryder call.
I looked at him, confused, as he was speaking to Tony. "Dad?" I asked.
"Yeah, Tony’s my dad. He helped me train when I was small."
He carried me and placed me in the car. I didn't know where he was driving me, but he wasn’t driving in the direction of my house. He stopped in front of a huge gate, and I turned to him as he punched in the key code. My jaw dropped when I saw the place. I turned to him.
"Is this yours?" I asked.
He smiled. "It depends, are you going to stalk me?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Definitely," I said, looking out the window.
After he’d parked I followed him in. I looked at the time and saw it was after six.
"Coffee?" he offered.
I nodded. "Would be great." I sat down in the counter.
I don't know what happened, but my eyelids felt heavy. Then I was in Ryder's arms and he placed me on something soft that felt like heaven. He said something and placed a kiss on my forehead before disappearing. I closed my eyes and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
***
I let out a yawn and rolled onto my chest. I raised an eyebrow as the blankets smelled all spicy. I pushed my head up and noticed I was sprawled on a huge bed.
I tried to remember what happened. Oh.
I pushed myself and went downstairs. The place was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I walked around the house, trying to find him, but every room was empty. I’d love to stay here; it would fit my personality. I smiled and walked past a room and paused when I saw a muscular back facing me.
It was the first time I’d seen Ryder spar with a punching bag. Man, I wish I had that power in my arms. It looked as if he wasn’t even trying. Every punch made at least the bag swing out control. With me, it was every third punch that made the bag start to move.
He threw a side kick and I gaped. The bag swung backwards at least three centimeters.
"That's so unfair," I muttered. I heard him chuckle and he turned around, facing me.
"You are awake," he said, picking up his bottle and taking a sip.
I watched his Adam's apple move up and down with each gulp. I was such a stalker.
He placed the bottle down and then threw me a pair of gloves. I caught them easily and raised an eyebrow. He jumped around, shadow boxing. "Come on," he said.
I slipped on the gloves, walked up to him, and frowned. "So, mind explaining to me why I’m in your gloves?" I asked.
He smiled, throwing a punch. I dodged just in time or I would have been lying face down on the mat.
I looked up and he threw a side kick. My defense skills kicked in and I caught his leg. But still, the impact made me take a step backwards.
"Come on, Alex. Normally a person fights back."
"Normally a person gives the heads up if he is going to punch you in the face," I said.
He raised an eyebrow. "Why would someone do that?" he asked.
I sighed.
Okay, you got this.
I brought my hands up, pushed myself up, and spread my legs. At least I am a girl. For a man, that would be awkward.
He threw a punch. Time to step up.
I caught his hand, took him by the elbow, and then threw a side kick, hitting him in the lower part of his chest. He moved a little bit back, but not how I wanted. He rubbed the place where I’d kicked him and I smiled.
"Is that all you got?" he asked.
Game on.
After hours of sparring I was beaten, and every muscle was crying out in pain. I was lying on my back, catching my breath. I was so beaten I had no strength to stand up. Ryder crouched next to me, holding out a bottle of water.
I cringed as I sat up. "I am so killing you tomorrow," I said, taking the bottle.
"Why tomorrow? And why would you kill such a… handsome man?" he asked with a smile.
"Because tomorrow I will be stiff and blame it on you," I said, taking a sip.
He helped me up and I winced as every muscle were crying. "Damn, I know I wasn't fighting anymore but to feel like this," I said, holding onto my back.
"Come on, a hot shower will do it," he said.
I blushed as naughty images started to flash in my head. Naughty girl.
When I arrived in the bathroom, the water was running and the room was filled with steam. It felt like magic against my skin. I turned around when I heard him enter.
"I don't have anything that will fit you. You’re smaller than I am. But you can wear one of my old shirts," he said and I smiled.
"Do you need any help to get out of your clothes?" He wiggled his eyebrows.
"I might be in pain, but I will kick your ass," I warned him.
He laughed as he went, shutting the door. I sighed, and with some miracle, got out of my clothes. I couldn't wait to get under the shower; the warm water was like miracle water. Every muscle relaxed and I sighed. I didn't want to get out, but I had to.
Maybe you could ask Ryder to give you a hot massage.
After I toweled down, the cool air hit my body, making my muscle cramp all over again, but not so bad that I couldn't move. I slipped on my underwear and then slipped Ryder's shirt on. I smiled—his scent was all over the shirt. I headed downstairs after picking up my clothes and placing them in the room where I’d slept. Ryder was standing behind the stove, without a shirt.
Does this man want to kill me?
"I thought you would be hungry. You didn't even get a chance to drink your coffee," he said without turning around.
"You have no idea," slipped out before I could stop it.
He turned around, smirking at me as if he caught what I meant.
Great going, stalker.
Chapter sixteen
The continuous knocking on the front door started to work on my nerves. "Amy, get the damn door!" I yelled, lifting my head just enough to scream.
"Get your lazy ass out of bed, missy!" she replied.
"Screw you!" I yelled and lay my head back down on the pillow, closing my eyes.
"Don't make me get up there and kick your ass!"
"As if," I mumbled into my pillow.
My door opened.
"What did you say?" she asked and I rolled my eyes.
"You know what happened last time," I mumbled and let out a yelp as she threw the bucket of water over me.
"You bi—" I paused when I saw my brother standing at the door. Even though he was laughing, I knew something was wrong.
"Josh?" I asked, standing up.
"Hi Alex," he said, seeming unco
mfortable.
Amy escaped the room. She’d better disappear, because I am going to get her for that.
"Uh, are you free?" he asked and I raised an eyebrow. "I need to speak with you about something," he said.
I nodded. "Yes, just let me get dressed." I walked towards my bathroom.
"Like the shirt, by the way!" he yelled.
I chuckled. "I know, right?"
After getting ready, I drove us to a place to eat. We ordered coffee and waited for our meals. My brother was avoiding me the whole time. And Josh wasn't like that.
"So, are you going to tell me why you ordered me out of my slumber?" I asked. I saw him smile, but it wasn't a full smile.
He sighed, turning away from the window and towards me. It is the first time I’d seen bags underneath his eyes. It was as if he hadn't slept for days.
"I think I got a girl pregnant," he said.
I raised an eyebrow. Like Eddy, all over again. "You think or you know?"
He shrugged. "Know, I think. I don't know. She came to the house yesterday with the tests. I don't even know if it is mine. I don't know what to do." He ran his hands up and down his face.
"Who is she?" I asked, looking at the waiter as he placed our plates in front of us.
"Her name is Hilary and I met her a few months ago. She’s at my College. She’s a quiet person, clever, and just amazing," he explained, smiling.
"I might even love her. I didn't expect this to happen. Mom is going to kill me when she finds out." He held his hands behind his head, looking down at the table.
"She doesn't know?"
He shook his head.
"So I am the only family who knows?" I asked and he nodded. "My god, Josh! Are you nuts? If they find out I know, I am dead," I said.
He rolled his eyes. "You hang out with Amy too much," he said.
"Oh thank you, dear brother."
My laugh died down as I saw Ryder entering the cafe and walk up to the front.
Josh turned around and smiled. "Yo, Cane!" he called. Ryder looked up.
I just shook my head as Ryder smiled when he saw us. He held up his hand to the lady behind the counter and walked towards us.
"Josh, right?" Ryder said, shaking his hand.
"In the flesh. Saw your last fight. Incredible," Josh said.
I had to roll my eyes. "You just watched the highlights," I muttered and he glared at me. I raised an eyebrow, challenging him.
"Okay, fine, I watched the highlights. Not everyone is as obsessed with Ryder as you, Alex."
I had to close my eyes to contain myself and not throw my brother onto a table.
I heard Ryder chuckle and opened my eyes. He sat down next to me.
"Stop teasing your sister like that," he said.
I smiled. "You’re just saying that, but I know, deep down, you like that people are obsessed with you."
He placed his hand over his heart. "Shame on you for thinking that of me."
I rolled my eyes. "I think you chose the wrong career," I muttered and he winked at me.
After he started stealing food from my plate, in the end Ryder joined us for breakfast. Josh at least looked a lot better, but I was worried for his sake.
I dropped Josh at home and decided to go for a walk on the beach as it was Sunday and it wouldn't be that crowded.
I was walking barefoot next to the ocean, trying to think of a solution for my brother. He was still young and had his whole life still ahead of him. She was also still young. Too young to have a baby? They were still in college; not one them making enough money to look after a baby. They would have to drop out, get a job and a place...
I sighed out of frustration and looked up. I stopped in my tracks—Ryder was standing with his hands in his pockets and watching me with a smile on his face.
"Are you following me?" I asked and his smile grew.
"I was looking for you at home and you weren't there. Amy said I could find you here."
I smiled, rolling my eyes. "And why are you looking for me?" I asked, kicking the water.
"I wanted to ask you if you are free tonight," he said
I looked up. "If I say no?" I teased.
"Then you’ll just break my heart."
I smiled, shaking my head.
"I hope you’re teasing me, because it will bruise my ego," he joked.
"Depends. What do you have in mind?" I asked.
He smiled, walking closer. "Well… I know you are not one for romantic dates, like picnics under the stars, but definitely one for anything exciting." He slipped two tickets out from his hoody. "I have two tickets to the football game," he said.
I smiled as I took the tickets from him. "Hmm, I hope you’re an Eagle fan."
"Actually, that would be a problem," he said.
I looked up. "Let me guess—a Giant?"
He nodded, biting his lip. Normally that just looks sweet on a girl, but when a man does it… he looks so sexy and teasing.
"Well, that could be interesting," I said, slipping the tickets into the back pocket of my pants. "Pick me up at five." I walked past him.
Amy looked at me with a raised eyebrow as I entered the house. I greeted them and headed upstairs. I put on some jeans but growled as I couldn't find my shirt.
"What's up with you? Whoa…"
I looked up and saw Amy’s eyes were focused on my toned stomach.
"What?" I found my shirt and slipped it on.
"I am going to kill you in your sleep and steal your body," she stated.
"There’s nothing wrong with yours." I slipped on my shoes. I heard the doorbell and grabbed the tickets. "Well, see you two later." I jogged down the stairs.
"Where are you going?" she asked from behind me.
"Out with Ryder," I said. And before she could respond I opened the door, revealing Ryder—in black. He was wearing a Giant shirt.
"You weren't joking," we both said at the same time.
"Well, this is a problem," I muttered and he smiled.
He drove us over to the game.
"So whoever wins tonight is going to be the outcome of this evening," Ryder said, making me laugh.
"It depends on whether you can accept losing," I said.
"I don't take it very well. I’ve only lost a few matches."
That made me throw my head back and let out a laugh.
I was enjoying this evening. The Eagles were running away from the Giants. At the end, when the score board presented the winner, I smiled at Ryder as his team lost.
"So, Mr. Grumpy…” I teased, then dodged his arms, giggling. "Do I need to take you home and tuck you in?" I asked with a laugh.
He grumbled under his breath. We got into his car and he started to drive. I looked at him, trying to figure out where he was taking us.
"Are you like planning to kill me? Because, if you are, just know this—I will come back and haunt you, making sure to kick you in the ass." Well, that caused him to burst out laughing.
He stopped at the beach and motioned for me to follow. I smiled when I saw he was leading me up to the hill where one of the lighthouses were. He took me to the top.
"We aren't breaking any rules?" I asked, concerned.
He just shook his head. We arrived at the top and the view was breathtaking. We stood there for a couple of minutes, enjoying the view, until my stomach growled.
"I hope you brought some food with you.”
Chapter seventeen
It had been a week since our date.
I don't know if it was a date or not, but I took it as one. Ryder had been busy preparing for his fights, and each night he was fighting I was glued to the TV, cheering even louder than before. It felt different cheering for him now I’d finally got to know him—small things, but we were still getting there. And the more I got to know him, the more I wanted to know, and the more I was falling for him.
It was Monday morning and my day was going south. Havi
ng a client early in the morning yelling at you, just to find out they are at the wrong shop, turns your whole day into darkness. She’d already worked me up because of the commotion she caused in front of my clients, and bothering my regular customers. I don't approve of that.
I was in the back trying to work on a cake that needed to be done by Friday, but every stripe, every sugar paste figurine I made, was a complete mess.
I stood up and let the others carry on. I was washing my hands as the door opened and Amy walked in.
"I heard how your day started," she said.
I nodded. "The problem is she bothered my other clients, not apologizing for her mistake. And she had the nerve to say I need to work on my designs," I said.
She nodded. "Why must be there people like that?"
I sighed and turned around. "You just came all the way over to check up on me?" I asked.
She tried to smile but I wasn’t born yesterday. Something was up.
"What's wrong with that?" she asked. "And no, I wondered if you are free for lunch."
I nodded. "Anything to get my head cleared up."
She gave me that fake smile again. "Well, come on."
I followed her out and we walked to the place where she wanted to eat.
I was half way through my burger when I noticed she hadn't touched her food. I raised an eyebrow and lifted my head. "Mind telling me why you are looking at me like that?" I asked.
She looked to her side and Juan sat down next to her.
"Are you pregnant?" I asked suddenly. "What? Everyone who wants to talk to me these days has got someone pregnant," I said sarcastically.
"No, I am not pregnant," she replied, deadpan.
I shrugged, wiping my mouth. "Then what is it?" I asked, sitting up.
"I am moving out!" she said excitedly.
I stared at them wide eyed for a moment. She was leaving me? Alone in that house we bought together years ago…
"What?" I asked.
She rolled her eyes. "Juan and I are moving in together," she explained.
I rolled my eyes. "I know what you meant, Amy. Just, when did you guys decide? You haven’t even known each other that long," I said.
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