by Nancy Krulik
“Every knight has special, unique skills,” Dribble told her calmly. “In your case, those skills include knowing how princesses are supposed to act.”
“You’re really Princess Pulverizer,” Lucas added. “You’ll just use the name Serena to get into that castle and spy on the knights.”
“Your given name is just another weapon,” Dribble assured her. “Like a sword, or an arrow.”
“Fine,” Princess Pulverizer huffed. “I’ll be Princess Serena. But just this once.” She began stomping back toward Leononia.
“Whoa. Wait a minute,” Dribble called out.
The princess stopped. “What now?”
“You’re not getting into any castle dressed like that,” the dragon said. “You need a gown.”
That was true.
“You’re right! Let’s come up with a new plan,” the princess said—a bit too happily.
“We don’t need a new plan,” Dribble replied. “You just need a new dress.”
“Royal gowns are sewn by royal tailors,” Princess Pulverizer argued. “Who work inside castles. We are outside the castle. So . . .”
“I thought it was such a good idea.” Lucas patted Fortune on the head.
“It is a good idea,” Dribble insisted.
“But Princess Pulverizer said . . . ,” Lucas began.
“I heard,” Dribble said. “She will have royal tailors. You and I are going to create a dress fit for a princess—or at least this princess.”
“You need cloth to make a gown,” Princess Pulverizer reminded him.
Dribble looked at Lucas. “Don’t you have a red-and-white cloth in the bottom of your knapsack?”
“How did you see my blankie . . . I mean, blanket?!” Lucas yelped. “It was hidden.”
“You left your bag open one day,” Dribble said. “I looked in there for some cheese. You’ve been carrying that blanket for a long time. It must be getting heavy.”
“B-b-but . . .”
“You don’t need a security blanket,” Dribble continued. “You’re not lily-livered anymore.”
“Okay,” Lucas said finally. He took out his blanket and handed it to Dribble. “For the old unicorn.”
“This will never work,” Princess Pulverizer said.
“You have a better idea?” Dribble asked.
Princess Pulverizer thought as hard as she could, but not a single idea came to her. “I’ve got nothing,” she admitted.
“Then let’s get started,” Dribble said.
Princess Pulverizer frowned as Dribble draped the red-and-white flannel cloth over her shoulders and started talking about things like bell sleeves and scoop necks.
This learning-to-be-knightly thing sure wasn’t turning out the way she thought it would.
Chapter 4
“There!” Dribble said, admiring his work. “The dress is perfect.”
“Perfect?” Princess Pulverizer repeated. “Are you kidding? One sleeve’s too short. The other’s too long. Plus, the hem’s crooked.”
“Details,” Dribble replied. “No one will notice.”
“They better not,” Princess Pulverizer huffed. She began fastening her belt around her waist.
“Stop!” Dribble exclaimed. “What are you doing?”
“Putting on my sheath,” Princess Pulverizer said. “How else am I going to carry my sword?”
“You can’t carry a sword,” Dribble said.
“Why not?” Princess Pulverizer asked. “It’s not like it’s going to ruin the look of this gown.”
“Nope. No sword,” Dribble insisted. “Otherwise you’d be giving yourself away.”
Princess Pulverizer scowled. Boy, did she hate it when that dragon was right!
“Be careful with it,” she said as she handed Dribble her sword.
“I’m aware of its truth-telling magic,” Dribble assured her. “I’ll keep it safe.”
“Okay then,” Princess Pulverizer said. “I’ll be going.”
“Not so fast,” Dribble said.
“What now?” the princess demanded.
“You can’t bring any arrows, either,” Dribble said.
“But this is the magical arrow that points the holder toward home!” she replied.
Dribble shook his head. “Nope.”
“You can wear your ruby ring,” Lucas said, trying to cheer her up. “The one that lets the wearer walk in silence.”
“That could come in handy,” Princess Pulverizer agreed. “Especially since I’m wearing my heavy boots.”
“And you have the hand mirror the good witch of Starats gave you,” Lucas continued. “The one that predicts the future.”
“I’ll even let you borrow my magic handkerchief,” Dribble said. “The one that lets you smell things far, far away.”
Wow. Dribble really valued that handkerchief. It was very generous of him to let her borrow it. Still . . .
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to go into that castle without a sword or arrows,” Princess Pulverizer insisted. “What if I find myself in danger?”
“We’ll be nearby,” Lucas promised. “We can rescue you.”
Rescue her! Grrr. She wasn’t some damsel in distress. She was the mighty Princess Pulverizer!
Still, she couldn’t just stand here arguing with Dribble and Lucas. There wasn’t time. Princess Pulverizer was going into that castle, alone—with nothing but her wits to protect her.
* * *
“You remember the signal?” Dribble asked as they hid behind some trees not far from the castle walls.
Princess Pulverizer nodded. “The trill of a nightingale.” She let out a whistle that sounded more like the squawk of a crow.
“Close enough,” Dribble said. “It won’t alert anyone but us. Just another bird in the night. No one will notice anything odd. When we hear it, we will come.”
“Off I go,” Princess Pulverizer said, trying not to sound as nervous as she felt. “Wish me luck.”
* * *
“Halt in the name of King Harvey the Lion-Hearted! Who goes there?”
Thirty-two guards raised their swords and shouted in Princess Pulverizer’s direction—at the exact same time.
“I am Princess Pul . . . ,” she began. “I mean, I am Princess Serena, daughter of King Alexander of Empiria. I’m here to visit King Harvey.”
“A princess? Traveling alone?” one of the guards asked suspiciously.
Well, not exactly alone. But they didn’t need to know about the dragon, unicorn, and knight-in-training waiting for her nearby. So instead, Princess Pulverizer made up a story. “My guards hurried off at the sight of a large giant who lived in the woods. They took my carriage with them. They aren’t nearly as brave and strong as all of you, though.”
King Harvey’s guards grinned. They were obviously pleased with her false praise.
“You may enter,” the tallest guard said.
* * *
“Is this satisfactory, Princess Serena?” a butler asked a few minutes later, as he opened the door to a sunny yellow bedroom.
He waited for a response, but none came.
“Is there a problem, Princess Serena?”
“Huh? Oh. You’re talking to me,” Princess Pulverizer blurted out. “I almost forgot.”
“Forgot what?” The butler sounded very confused.
“Um . . . I almost forgot how nice a room could look,” Princess Pulverizer replied quickly. “I’ve been traveling a long time.”
Phew.
“Dinner is in one hour. If you’d like to wash up, you have time.” The butler gave Princess Pulverizer a disapproving look and left, closing the door behind him.
Well, that was rude. How much of a wash could she need? All she’d done was walk into a castle. That butler should see how sweaty she got when she was d
oing real knightly stuff, like jousting in hot armor.
Although . . . she did have a bit of dirt under her fingernails. Lady Frump would never approve of dirty hands. Or messy hair, either.
Princess Pulverizer reached into her knapsack and pulled out her hand mirror to take a look at herself. But it wasn’t her face that stared back from the glass.
Instead, she saw a king sitting at a long banquet table. Which was strange because dinner wasn’t for an hour yet.
Then again, this was no ordinary mirror. It was a magic mirror that predicted the future.
Princess Pulverizer studied the image. There was a tiny king in a large crown, surrounded by four very large guards. That had to be King Harvey. Only a nervous king would eat surrounded by guards.
But the king wasn’t eating. He was holding something in the air.
But what? The princess looked closer at the image.
Oh no!
In the mirror, King Harvey was holding up a long pointed horn. An alicorn!
Princess Pulverizer had arrived too late. While Dribble and Lucas were busy making this stupid dress, the knights had been busy capturing the old unicorn and presenting the king with his horn.
Princess Pulverizer tried to think calmly. After all, real knights never panicked. At least she didn’t think they did.
Maybe this wasn’t as bad as it looked. There could still be time to help the old unicorn. After all, the mirror didn’t give any clue as to how far in the future this was taking place. It might not be tonight’s dinner. It could be tomorrow. Or next week. Or even next month.
Princess Pulverizer didn’t know if there was a way to change the future and keep the image in the mirror from coming true.
She just knew she was going to try.
Chapter 5
As she took her seat at the king’s table, Princess Pulverizer found herself growing more and more concerned. And not just about the old unicorn.
She was also worried about all the silverware that had been laid out in front of her.
Was the big spoon for soup or dessert?
What was that teeny tiny fork for?
Which water glass should she use?
Princess Pulverizer wished she’d paid more attention to Lady Frump’s lecture on fancy dining. Because if she couldn’t figure this stuff out, no one would be fooled into thinking Princess Pulverizer was an actual princess.
Even though she was.
If King Harvey thought for one minute that there was a spy in his midst, there was no telling what he might do.
Just then, the doors of the banquet hall opened. King Harvey walked into the room, surrounded by four large guards.
“Hello, friends,” King Harvey said.
Princess Pulverizer choked back a laugh. She’d expected King Harvey the Lion-Hearted to have a big strong voice. Instead, he squeaked when he spoke.
Oops! Princess Pulverizer had dropped her napkin under the table. She bent down to pick it up and—
Thud! She bumped her head on the hard wooden table.
“Yikes! What was that?” King Harvey the Lion-Hearted grabbed one of his guards and held on tight for dear life.
“Sorry,” Princess Pulverizer apologized. “I dropped my napkin.”
“N-no problem.” King Harvey loosened his grip on the guard and turned his attention to the butler. “Have the kitchen staff serve the first course,” he commanded.
The butler bowed and headed off. Not a moment later, there was a loud crash, like the sound of a pot falling from the shelf.
“AAAAAHHHHH!” King Harvey leaped out of his seat so fast he reminded Princess Pulverizer of the jack-in-the-box toy she’d played with as a little girl.
Oddly, no one else seemed to notice the king’s strange behavior. They must have seen him act that way before.
“I’m sorry,” the butler apologized as he came running back into the banquet hall. “There was a slight collision in the kitchen. The first course will be here any minute.”
Princess Pulverizer was starving. Luckily, a fresh-baked roll had been placed on the small plate in front of her. The princess bit off a huge hunk and turned to the woman seated to her right.
“Do you know what’s for dinner?” she asked her.
The woman made a face. But she didn’t answer.
Hmmm . . . the princess thought. Maybe she can’t hear so well.
“DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S FOR DINNER?” the princess shouted at her. A piece of bread flew out of her mouth and onto the woman’s face.
Oops. The princess had forgotten what Lady Frump had told her so many times: Princesses do not speak with their mouths full.
And if she wasn’t mistaken, no one began eating until the king did, either. She was doing everything wrong.
“The royal soup, sir!” the butler announced as he returned to the banquet hall.
“Very good,” King Harvey replied. “You may serve.”
Princess Pulverizer watched as royal waiters ladled creamy navy-bean soup into each soup bowl. Her stomach gurgled in excitement, which wasn’t very princess-y. But she couldn’t help it.
“Would you like me to get the royal taster, sir?” the butler asked.
“No need,” King Harvey replied. “One of my knights has given me something very special to prevent poisoning.”
Princess Pulverizer frowned. The picture she had seen in the mirror was almost complete. There was little King Harvey, with his very large crown, seated at the head of the table, surrounded by four guards.
The only thing missing was—
“A unicorn horn,” the king said as he held up a long, pointed horn. “This will protect me from poison.”
Everyone began talking at once.
“A unicorn horn!”
“How marvelous.”
“All hail King Harvey’s royal knights.”
Princess Pulverizer didn’t say a word. She was too busy staring at the horn. There was something odd about it. Something she hadn’t noticed in the magic mirror. “That horn is not from a unicorn!” she exclaimed suddenly.
Everyone turned to look at her.
“I beg your pardon?” King Harvey demanded.
“That horn is not from a unicorn,” Princes Pulverizer repeated. “It’s too smooth. Unicorns have spiraled horns. That one might be from a rhinoceros. Or a walrus.”
Once again, everyone began talking.
“How does she know that?”
“Did a knight lie to the king?”
“She ate her roll before the meal began. Can we trust her?”
“I can prove that’s not a real alicorn,” Princess Pulverizer said.
“A real what?” one gentleman seated near her asked.
“Alicorn,” Princess Pulverizer repeated. “That’s what you call a unicorn’s horn.”
“She’s a know-it-all,” one woman complained.
“What happened to princesses being seen and not heard?” asked another.
Princess Pulverizer had never been seen and not heard. She wasn’t about to start now. “There is a way to test if an alicorn is real,” she continued. “Place it in cold water. If that horn really came from a unicorn, the water will bubble as if it were boiling, but it will still be cold.”
“Bring me a bowl of cold water!” the king demanded.
The king’s butler scurried into the kitchen. He returned a moment later with a bowl of cold water.
“My knights would never lie to me,” the king insisted. “I will prove it.” He dropped the alicorn in the bowl and waited.
But the water did not bubble.
“I told you so,” Princess Pulverizer said proudly.
A murmur went through the room.
“How rude.”
“Did she just tell the king ‘I told you so’?”
“He’s
going to be angry.”
“I will not have this!” King Harvey squawked furiously.
Uh-oh.
“I will not have my knights lying to me!” the king continued.
Phew. King Harvey wasn’t angry with Princess Pulverizer after all. He was mad at his knights. The princess was very relieved.
But not for long.
Because just then King Harvey declared, “I hereby decree that no one in this kingdom shall eat or drink anything until I have a real alicorn. So I suggest the knights find a unicorn and bring me his horn on a silver platter . . . quickly.”
Chapter 6
I should have let him believe it was an alicorn, Princess Pulverizer thought regretfully. He wouldn’t have known the difference. And he would have left the old unicorn alone. Why do I always have to show off?
Still, there was no point thinking about should-haves or would-haves. What the princess needed to do now was find a way to save the old unicorn.
That was why she was standing quietly behind a curtain in the knights’ drawing room, eavesdropping as they plotted. The princess had snuck into the room right behind the knights. It had been so easy. The knights had been huddled together and so focused on coming up with a plan, they never noticed her.
The princess rubbed her ruby ring gratefully. It had done its job, allowing her to enter the room in complete silence.
“Do you think the old unicorn is still where you spotted him, Gordon?” the princess heard a knight ask.
“He’s probably moved on, Humphrey,” Gordon admitted. “To keep from being caught. Although he didn’t look like he could go too far. He was really old. His beard nearly hit the ground. His fur had turned green and yellow. And he was just sitting there under those long, drooping branches, barely moving.”
“Do unicorns go green when they’re old?” a third knight wondered. “People go gray.”
