‘See how many names you can cite of sons who actually looked after their aged parents with kindness and consideration, as they should do. Though one can find both past and present examples, they’re rather thin on the ground and their assistance comes only at the last minute. What usually happens is that, when they’re all grown up, having been treated like a god by their parents and having learnt a trade or studied thanks to their father’s help, or become rich and affluent by some stroke of good fortune, if their father falls on hard times or into destitution, they’ll turn their backs on him and be ashamed and embarrassed when they see him. If, on the other hand, the father is well off, they can’t wait for him to die so that they can get their hands on his estate. God knows how many sons of great lords and wealthy men long for the death of their parents in order to inherit their lands and possessions. Petrarch definitely spoke the truth when he said: “O foolish man, you wish to have children but you can have no deadlier enemies than these. If you are poor, they will despise you and will pray for your death so as to be rid of you. If you are rich, they will pray for it all the more in order to grab your wealth.” I don’t mean to say that all sons are like this, but many of them are. Moreover, if they’re married, God knows how insatiable they can be as they suck their mother and father dry to the extent that they wouldn’t care if the poor old things starved to death as long as they can inherit the lot. What dreadful offspring! If their mothers are widowed, instead of comforting them and being a rod and staff to them in their old age, they pay them back terribly for all the love and devotion their mothers have spent on bringing them up. Bad children have the idea that everything should belong to them, so if their mothers don’t give them all they want, they don’t hesitate to pour down their curses upon them. Heaven knows what kind of respect this is to show one’s mother! Worse still, some of them think nothing of taking their mothers to court and bringing a case against them. That’s the reward that many parents get for having spent their whole lives putting their money to one side for the benefit of their children. Plenty of sons are like this, and it may be too that some daughters are of the same ilk. But if you look closely, I think you’ll find that there are more unworthy sons than daughters.
‘Even if all male children were dutiful, the fact remains that you see more daughters than sons keeping their mothers and fathers company. They not only visit them more often, but also comfort them and look after them more when they’re old and infirm. The reason for this is that boys tend to go out and about in the world whereas girls tend to be retiring and stay closer to home, as you yourself can attest. Though your brothers are very loving and devoted sons, they have gone out into the world whilst you have stayed behind alone to take care of your dear mother and are the main comfort to her in her old age.2 To sum up, I would say that those who are upset and unhappy at having daughters are completely deluded. Whilst we’re on this subject, I’d like to tell you about several women mentioned amongst others in the history books who were very kind and caring towards their parents.’
8. Here begins a series of daughters who loved their parents, the first of whom is Drypetina.
‘Drypetina, Queen of Laodicea, was very loving towards her father. She was the daughter of the great King Mithradates and was so devoted to him that she followed him into all his battles. This girl was extremely ugly, for she had two sets of teeth, a very severe deformity. However, she loved her father so much that she never left his side, in good times or in bad. Despite the fact that she was the queen and lady of a vast realm, which meant that she could have lived a safe and comfortable life in her own country, she preferred to share her father’s sufferings and hardships whenever he went off to war. Even when he was defeated by the mighty Pompey, she still did not abandon him but looked after him with great care and dedication.’
9. About Hypsipyle.
‘Hypsipyle placed herself in mortal danger in order to save her father, whose name was Thoas, King of Lemnos. When his subjects rebelled against him and were advancing on the palace in order to kill him, his daughter Hypsipyle promptly hid him in one of her trunks and dashed outside in an attempt to calm the people’s rage. All her efforts were in vain: unable to find the king, though they had searched for him all over, they pointed their swords at Hypsipyle and threatened to kill her if she didn’t tell them where he was. They also promised her that if she helped them, they would crown her as their queen and be obedient to her. Yet this good and loving daughter, though confronted with death, put more store by her father’s life than by being queen and didn’t waver for a second. She answered them most courageously, saying that he had undoubtedly long since fled the place. Because they failed to find the king and she managed to convince them so thoroughly that he had already gone, they eventually believed her and made her their queen. For a while, she reigned peaceably over them. However, having kept her father hidden away for some time, she became afraid that she might eventually be betrayed by some jealous courtier. She therefore let him out one night and, having given him plenty of money, sent him off overseas into safety. In the end, her disloyal subjects found out what she had done and deposed her. They would have killed Queen Hypsipyle too if some of them hadn’t been moved to pity by her devotion.’
10. About the virgin Claudine.
‘What a great mark of affection Claudine displayed to her father on his glorious return home from his heroic exploits and many victories in combat as he was being welcomed into Rome with a triumphal procession, that most magnificent of ceremonies and very highest of honours that could be bestowed on a prince who arrived back as the victor of some incredible battle. This Claudine’s father, a supremely valiant prince of Rome, was receiving his accolades in the procession when he was suddenly attacked by another Roman lord, one who bore him ill will. His daughter Claudine, a virgin dedicated to the goddess Vesta or, as we would say, a nun who had entered a convent, had gone out into the streets with other ladies from her order to greet this prince, as was the custom. When she heard the clamour and learnt that her father had been set upon by his enemies, the great love she bore him made her put aside the shy, retiring manner that a consecrated virgin should normally adopt and forget any fear of danger. She immediately leapt out of the chariot in which she had been sitting with her companions and dashed through the crowd. She fearlessly thrust herself in front of the swords and blades that had been drawn against her father, seized the man nearest to him by the throat, and struggled to defend her father with all her might. The vast crowd soon intervened to break up the attack. The Romans, who were accustomed to paying tribute to any person who performed a deed worthy of their admiration, honoured this virgin very highly and praised her to the skies for what she had done.’
11. About a woman who breastfed her mother in prison.
‘The history books tell of a woman from Rome who was equally loving towards her mother. It so happened that the mother was convicted of some crime which she had committed and was condemned to die in prison of thirst and starvation. Full of filial devotion, the daughter was so griefstricken by this sentence that she begged the jailers who were guarding her mother to be allowed to visit her every day until her death in order to help the poor woman endure her fate with patience. In short, she wept and pleaded with the jailers so much that they took pity on her and gave her the right to see her mother once a day. But before they let her in, they subjected her to a rigorous inspection to make sure that she wasn’t bringing anything with her for her mother to eat. After a while, it seemed to the jailers that these visits had gone on for far longer than they had expected. Although the mother should have soon died of starvation, she continued somehow to stay alive. Since the only person who visited the prisoner was her daughter, whom they searched thoroughly before allowing into the cell, they were completely baffled as to how the condemned woman managed to survive. One day, the jailers spied on the mother and daughter when they were together and saw the poor girl, who had just recently given birth, offering her breasts to her mother to dri
nk from until all the milk was gone. So it was that the daughter gave back to her mother in her old age what the mother had given her when she was an infant. The daughter’s great affection for her mother and her extraordinary devotion to her touched the jailers so deeply that they informed the judges who, in turn, were moved by compassion to set the mother free and send her back home to her daughter.
‘On the subject of a daughter’s love for her father, we could cite the example of the good and wise Griselda, who later became the marchioness of Saluzzo. I’ll tell you more about her great steadfastness, constancy and loyalty later on. It was her deep affection inspired by a faithful heart which made her take such good care of her poor father, Giannucolo, whom she looked after when he was old and sick with true dedication and humility whilst she was still an innocent maiden in the very flower of her youth. Toiling away by the sweat of her brow, she did her utmost to eke out a wretched living for the two of them. Happily, there are great numbers of wonderful daughters who show their parents such affection and devotion as this. Though they’re only doing their duty, they none the less reap huge rewards for their soul. They also deserve the highest praise in this life, too, as do those sons who are equally loving.
‘What more can I tell you? I could give you countless other examples of this kind, but these will do for now.’
12. Here Rectitude explains that the houses of the city have been completed and that it is time they were filled with inhabitants.
‘My dearest friend, it seems to me that our building is well underway and that the City of Ladies now has plentiful housing all along its wide streets. The royal palaces are completed and the defence towers and keeps are now standing proud, tall enough to be seen from miles away. It’s high time that we began to fill this city with people. It should not stand deserted or empty but should be full of illustrious ladies, as they alone are welcome here. How happy the inhabitants of our city will be! They will have no cause to fear being thrown out of their homes by enemy hordes, for this place has a special property which means that those who move into it will never be dispossessed. A new Realm of Femininia is at hand,3 except that this one is so much more perfect than the previous one because the ladies who live here will have no need to leave their territory in order to breed the new generations of women who will inherit their realm down the ages. The ladies we’re going to invite here will be sufficient in number to last for all time.
‘Once we have filled the city with worthy citizens, my sister, Lady Justice, will come bringing with her the queen, a magnificent lady who surpasses all others, accompanied by a host of the noblest princesses. It is they who will occupy the finest buildings and will make their homes in the lofty towers. So it’s all the more urgent that, when the queen comes, she should find the city full of excellent ladies ready to receive her with all honours as their supreme mistress and as the empress of their sex. What type of citizens shall we bring? Will they be dissolute women of ill repute? Most certainly not! They will all be valiant ladies of great renown, for we could wish for no worthier population nor more beautiful adornment to our city than such virtuous and honourable women as these. Come now, Christine, let’s set out in search of our ladies.’
13. Christine asks Lady Rectitude if it’s true what men and books say about the institution of marriage being unbearable because women are so impossible to live with. In her reply, Rectitude begins by discussing the great love that women have for their husbands.
Whilst we were doing as Rectitude had said and were on our way to fetch the ladies we were looking for, I said to her as we walked along, ‘My lady, you and Reason have conclusively replied to all the questions and queries that I was unable to answer for myself and I think that I’m now much better informed than I was before on these matters. Thanks to you two, I have discovered that women are more than capable of undertaking any task which requires physical strength or of learning any discipline which requires discernment and intelligence. However, I would now like to ask your opinion about something which is weighing very heavily on my mind. Is it true what so many men say and so many authors in their books claim about it being the fault of women and their shrewish, vengeful nagging that the married state is such a constant hell for men? There are plenty of people who maintain that this is the case, arguing that women care so little for their husbands and their company that there is nothing which irritates them more. In order to avoid this misery and these problems, many authors have advised men to be wise and not to marry at all, on the grounds that there are no women – or hardly any – who are faithful to their spouses. This view is even echoed in the Letter of Valerius to Ruffinus which quotes Theophrastus who, in his book, stated that no wise man would take a wife because women cause trouble, lack affection, and gossip incessantly. He also says that if a man gets married thinking that he’ll be well looked after and well cared for if he falls ill, he’d be much better off being attended by a loyal servant, who would also cost him a lot less too. If the wife falls ill, on the other hand, he’ll be all anxious and will feel obliged not to leave her side. Theophrastus came out with much more in this vein, but I won’t go into it any further. My dear lady, if such things are true, it would seem that these faults are so awful that they cancel out completely whatever good qualities or virtues a woman might have.’
Rectitude replied, ‘My dear Christine, as you yourself said earlier on this subject, it’s certainly easy to win your case when there’s no one to argue against you. But believe me when I tell you that the books which put forward these ideas were definitely not written by women. Indeed, I have no doubt that if one wanted to write a new book on the question of marriage by gathering information based on the facts, one would come up with a very different set of views. My dear friend, as you yourself know, there are so many wives who lead a wretched existence bound in marriage to a brutish husband who makes them suffer greater penance than if they were enslaved by Saracens. Oh God, how many fine and decent women have been viciously beaten for no good reason, heaped with insults, obscenities and curses, and subjected to all manner of burdens and indignities, without uttering even a murmur of protest. Not to mention all those wives who are laden down with lots of tiny mouths to feed and lie starving to death in penury whilst their husbands are either out visiting places of depravity or living it up in town or in taverns. All that wives such as these get for supper when their husbands come home is a good hiding. I ask you, am I telling lies? Haven’t you ever seen any of your neighbours being treated in this way?’
I replied, ‘Yes, my lady. I’ve seen many women treated like this and I felt sorry for them.’
‘I can well believe it. As for those husbands who are anxious when their wives fall ill, I ask you, my dear friend, do you know of any? Without going into further detail, let me tell you that all this rubbish that has ever been said and written about wives is just a string of falsehoods tied together. It is the husband who is the master of the wife, and not the other way round. A man would never allow himself to be dominated by a woman. However, let me assure you that not all marriages are like this. There are some married couples who love each other, are faithful to each other, and live together in peace: in these cases it is both spouses who are sensible, kind and gentle. Though there are bad husbands, there are also some who are decent, honourable and wise. The women who have the good fortune to marry them should thank God for giving them so much happiness here on this earth. You yourself can attest to this since you couldn’t have wished for a better husband than you had. In your opinion, he surpassed all other men in kindness, gentleness, loyalty and affection, and you will never stop grieving for his death in your heart. Whilst it’s undeniable that there are many fine women who are badly treated by their contrary husbands, it’s also true to say that some wives are wilful and unreasonable. Indeed, if I claimed that all wives were paragons of virtue, I would quite rightly be accused of being a liar. However, these women are in the minority. Anyway, I’d rather not discuss such women because they’re like crea
tures who go totally against their nature.
‘Talking about good wives instead, let’s go back to what that Theophrastus, whom you mentioned earlier, said about a sick man being as well looked after and as faithfully attended by a servant as by a wife. You see countless good and loyal wives who serve their husbands in sickness or in health with as much loving care as if they were gods! I don’t think you’re going to find many servants like that. Since we’re on this subject, I’ll now give you some examples of wives who adored their husbands and were utterly devoted to them. Now, thank the Lord, we can come back to our city with a fine host of decent and respectable ladies whom we can invite inside. Here is the noble Queen Hypsicratea, who was once wife of the mighty King Mithradates. Because she belongs to such ancient times and is of such inestimable worth, she shall be the first to take her place in the magnificent palace which has been prepared for her.’
The Book of the City of Ladies Page 16
