She smoothed Cody’s hair and he let her touch him without flinching. “Please don’t wander off without telling me, okay? I know it’s difficult for you to talk, but this is important. I need to know where you are.”
“Want that collie puppy,” he whispered, and pulled a piece of paper from under his covers. He’d drawn a puppy playing in the barn. The detail was stunning, capturing the border collie perfectly. So much talent.
If only they’d found that picture earlier, it would have steered them right to him. “We’ll get a puppy when we’re home, okay, sweetie?”
Cody sat up, hugging his puffy blue blanket. He shook his head. “Want a puppy here.”
Her heart tugged at all the things she couldn’t give him. “Oh, my sweet boy, it’s beautiful here and I love your pictures so very much. But we have to go home.”
His eyes darted from side to side, stopping to stare at the outfit on his dresser. Fresh blue jeans sat beneath a brand-new yellow cowboy shirt. A brand-new kid-sized Stetson hat rested on the top of the pile. Pale tan rope circled the base of the hat, the ends joined by a silver horse charm. New brown cowboy boots with a matching fringe vest sat next to the clothes. “The wedding. I have new clothes. We gotta go to the wedding. With the kitty lady.”
His jaw jutted.
She could see him ramping up and needed a way to calm him. “We’ll go to the wedding. You will get to wear your new outfit.”
“Okay, okay.”
“But I need you to promise me you won’t wander off like that again. You could have been hurt. I was very scared for you. I need you to say the words, Cody. Promise me.”
He avoided her eyes, but he nodded, lying back down again. “Promise.”
“Good boy.” She patted the blue blanket. “It’s time to go to sleep. Night-night. I love you so much.”
She could speak multiple languages, but words were so hard to find to get through to her precious child. What would she have done tonight without Alex’s support?
Ah, Alex. The heartbreaking cowboy. Now, there was a touchy subject. Her stomach tightened as her brain tried to make sense of her conflicting emotions.
Backing away from Cody’s bed, she adjusted the Buckaroo Bronco lamp on her way out. She closed the door softly. Sagging back against the panel, she let the tears flow, wishing the pain could be uncorked so easily.
A movement deep in the living room snagged her attention and she saw Alex rise from the sofa. Had it only been a few hours ago he’d come here to take her to the party? She’d dressed with such hope and silly expectations from a tube of mascara.
He walked across the floor and wrapped his arms around her. She pushed against his chest in a halfhearted attempt to make some kind of point. To get back at him for seeming so perfect and being so very flawed. Even worse, dishonest. Was he really just another frog-prince?
Crying harder, she pressed her face against his chest to muffle the sounds so her son wouldn’t hear. She twisted her hands in his shirt.
Her legs buckled and his arms banded tighter around her. He smoothed her hair and mumbled words against her head. He backed closer to the living area until he sat in the fat armchair and pulled her into his lap. She continued to cry, not the hard racking sobs anymore, but the silent slip of tears down her cheeks. His hands roved up and down her back rhythmically.
As she shifted, her face brushed his. Or maybe his brushed hers and their mouths met, held. She should pull away. This was a bad idea for a thousand reasons that would only lead to more heartache. But this was her last chance to feel his hands on her, his mouth. She didn’t want lies, excuses or half-truths. She didn’t even want to talk. She wanted this. This man might not have what she needed from life, but she would take this moment of pleasure for herself before she left. She’d come a long way from the woman who’d married Warren and hoped for the best.
She looped her arms around Alex’s neck as she wriggled closer. Neither of them asked if it was right or wrong. Their bodies spoke, communed, and his hands clasped her hips, shifting her until she straddled his lap. He bunched her dress up, his fingers warm on her skin, twisting the thin barrier of her underwear until the strings along her hips snapped.
Without breaking their kiss she fished in his pocket for his wallet and found a condom. With sure hands she unbuckled that rodeo belt and unzipped his pants. He growled his approval against her mouth.
Then frenzy took over and she lowered herself onto him. Inch by inch. His hands on her hips, her hands on his shoulders and yes... Her head fell back as their hips rolled in sync. Faster and faster. The heat and need built inside her, all the pent-up emotion from the night, crushed dreams and disappointment leaving her raw.
Soon—too soon and yet not soon enough—she felt the rise of her orgasm building, slamming through her, riding the wave of all those emotions. She sank her teeth in Alex’s shoulder to keep from shouting out. His hands clenched in her hair, his fists tight as she felt his release rock through him.
In the aftermath, she kept her face tucked into his neck while he stroked her back. Even though she would be attending the wedding tomorrow, she knew...
This was goodbye.
* * *
Wedding photos and receiving line complete, Alex was finally free to mingle before dinner and dancing kicked into high gear. He knew more about weddings than most men. After all, the Hidden Gem hosted them on a regular basis. And he focused on every damn detail tonight to keep from thinking about the hole in his heart over losing Nina. Last night had put him through the emotional wringer—from their fight, to Cody wandering off, and then to making love with Nina in a frenzied moment that had goodbye written all over it.
Damn straight he needed to think of something else to keep from walking away to lose himself in a bottle of booze in the solitude of his suite. So he focused on every detail, making sure the wedding and reception went off without a hitch.
And damned if he wasn’t too aware of Nina and Cody’s presence anyway.
Even knowing she’d only attended because her son had been emphatic about it didn’t stop the rush of pleasure having them here. The kid was something else. Who’d have thought he would dig his heels in on wearing his new clothes and attending a cowboy wedding? Cody looked as though he belonged here, at Hidden Gem Ranch, with his cowboy outfit. Guilt struck at Alex, rattling through his chest. He had to focus.
The vows Johanna and Stone had spoken were from the heart, the ceremony in the chapel brief. One groomsman and one bridesmaid—Alex and Amie. The bride wore a simple fitted lace dress with a short train. The loose, romantic waves of her hair complemented the airiness of her dress. Elegant. Understated. Her lone bridesmaid wore a peach-colored dress in a similar but simpler style, to the floor without a train.
Stone and Alex wore tan suits with buff-colored Stetsons for when they were outside. This event was about the bride and groom, their style, making memories on their day.
At the end of the service, as Alex escorted his sister out of the church, he felt the weight of Nina’s gaze, felt the hurt he’d caused her. More guilt. More shame. And he didn’t know how the hell to make it right and he didn’t know who to turn to for guidance.
Silently he and Amie walked to the barn where the rehearsal dinner had been held. All of the decorations from the night before were still in place, plus more. Gold chandeliers and puffs of white hydrangeas dangled from the barn rafters. Strings of lights crisscrossed the ceiling, creating an intimate, dreamy atmosp
here. Bouquets of baby’s breath and roses tied with burlap bows graced all the tables. The inside had been transformed into rustic elegance, with gold chairs and white tulle draped throughout.
There were rustic touches as well. At the entry table next to the leather guest book, seating cards were tied to horse shoes that had the bride and groom’s names engraved along with the wedding date. A cowbell hung on a brass hook with a sign that stated Ring for a Kiss.
A country band played easy-listening versions of old classics.
But Alex was in no mood for dancing. Not if he couldn’t have Nina in his arms. She’d made it clear last night after she’d booted him out of her bed that she was leaving right after the wedding. She’d only stayed this long for Cody. Alex poured himself a drink and found a table in the far back corner. Isolated. He would have to move up front with the family soon enough. For now, he could be alone with his drink and his thoughts.
“Mind if I join you?” His father stood beside him.
“Um, no, not at all.” He gestured to an empty chair. “Have a seat, but Gran will insist we move up front to the main table soon.”
“Then we might as well enjoy this as long as we can.” Garnet tipped back his drink. “You look like you could use some support—or advice. Woman troubles?”
“There’s nothing anyone can do.” Alex sipped the bourbon, watching Nina and Cody talk to the bride. The little boy touched the bridal bouquet with reverence.
Memories of walking the ranch looking for Cody gut-kicked Alex all over again. He’d never known a fear that deep. Or a relief so intense once they’d found him.
Rattling the ice in his glass, Garnet followed Alex’s gaze before studying his son hard. “People think your mother married me for my money and that I live off my inheritance. And they wouldn’t be totally wrong on either of those points. But you know what, son?”
Alex met his father’s piercing gaze—the McNair blue eyes—and finally saw a little of Gran in there. “What, Dad?”
“It’s none of their damn business. Bayleigh and I may not live our lives the way others would, but it works for us.” He thumbed his wedding ring around his finger. “We have a happy marriage. I did learn that from my parents. Pick the right person for you and to hell with everyone else’s expectations. This is your life.”
Alex wasn’t sure how to apply the advice to his own personal hell, but he appreciated his father’s effort. “Any reason you never thought to have this kind of father-son talk with me before now?”
“You didn’t need it then.” Garnet shrugged, adjusting his bolo tie. “Now I believe you do.”
“It’s not that simple with Nina.” There. Alex had said it. Acknowledged that he and Nina were—or had been—a couple. He wanted her in his life.
“Sure it’s every bit as simple as that. Buy the stocks from her. Pay more than they’re worth and give that boy some extra security.” Garnet’s practicality sounded more and more like a McNair by the second. Maybe everyone had underestimated him. “So what if the ranch has to scrimp on mechanical bulls for a while? Big deal.”
“You make it sound so easy.” Very easy. Doable.
“Because it is.” Garnet set aside his drink. “Your grandmother only said get the stocks back in the family. She didn’t say who had to buy them. If you need me to chip in, consider it done.”
And Alex could see his father meant it. He was offering to help. Alex clapped him on the shoulder, the advice solidifying in his mind with utter clarity. “Thanks, Dad. Really. But I think you already gave me what I needed most with your advice.”
“Then what’s holding you back?”
“I need for Gran to be at peace with this. Ever since I met Nina, it’s stopped being about the ranch. It’s about giving Gran peace.”
His father nodded, gesturing to the front of the room where Gran held court with the bride, Amie—and Nina. Family. That was what meant the most to Gran.
This plan might not be what she’d had in mind, but his grandmother had always respected leadership and honor.
And love. There it was, no hiding from the truth anymore. Yes, it was impulsive and fast, but he’d never been so sure of anything in his life. Alex loved Nina. He loved her son as well, and he intended to do whatever it took to become their family.
* * *
Nina twisted her hands together, nervous at the attention from the McNair matriarch. Sweat began to build in her palms. Did the woman know her plans had been uncovered? Mariah was so fragile; it was easy to see how a person would do anything to make her final days as drama-free as possible.
Then again, damn it, if that had been the woman’s goal, why come up with elaborate tests for her grandchildren to prove their loyalty to the family? Mariah’s process of inheritance seemed to invite problems. Frustration simmered, balancing out the empathy. Nina’s emotions were a huge mess today.
Mariah took Nina’s hand in her cool grasp, her skin paper thin and covered with bruises from IVs. Despite her frailty, Mariah’s grip was firm, confident. A true businesswoman. “I’m so glad your son was found safely.”
“I appreciate all the help searching. This week has been a dream come true for him. I understand I have you to thank for getting him into the program.”
Mariah’s eyes went wide at Nina’s frank approach—and then she smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry that life has to be so difficult for you.”
“Life is hard for everyone in some way, ma’am. I love Cody. I have a good job in my field that allows me to stay home with my son. My life is good.”
Life is good. This was what Nina had repeated over and over to herself as she dressed for the weekend. She desperately tried to convince herself that she didn’t need anything else besides Cody and work. Tried to tell herself that was all she wanted. That it was enough.
“Then why are your eyes so sad?”
How could she tell the woman about the doomed affair with Alex? She couldn’t. “My in-laws will use the incident with Cody getting lost to try and take him away from me. They think he would be better off in a hospital, coming home on holidays and weekends. And they want control of his inheritance from his father.”
What was it about this woman that made Nina spill her secret fears?
“That has to be so incredibly frightening for you. They sound like they’re using the issue of institutionalizing him as a power play.”
Nina nodded. “They are.” She looked at the deathly ill woman in front of her and saw complete clarity in her eyes. Nina didn’t want to burden her, but honesty might allay Mariah’s concerns about those stocks more than all this behind-the-scenes game playing. “Ma’am, with all due respect, if you wanted Cody’s stocks, why didn’t you just approach me and give me a chance to be a reasonable businesswoman?”
Mariah’s pale blue eyes went wide and she gripped her cane. “So Alex has told you.” She smiled, bringing color back to her pale face. “Good for him.”
What? “I’m confused. You wanted to keep this a secret but you didn’t?” Nina didn’t appreciate having her life manipulated, regardless of how ill the older woman was.
“I want to apologize for bringing you here under false pretenses. My grandson is so introverted. He communes with the animals more than people, and that’s a part of what makes him so successful at running the Hidden Gem. But he also needed a nudge outside his comfort zone. I hoped forcing a meeting between the two of you would help him move forward with having a life that doesn’t center on work 24/7
. Life’s too short, too precious.” Mariah leaned closer. “You must realize by now that the crush he had on Johanna was born more out of convenience than any real passion. When I see the two of you together—” her eyes twinkled with life “—now, that’s passion.”
How could Nina tell Mariah the test backfired? They’d broken up. He’d lied to her...for a few days. Then come clean. Could she forgive that? After her marriage, she had issues on that front, no question. But Alex had shown more compassion and honor in a week than her ex had displayed in their entire marriage.
Mariah squeezed Nina’s hand and continued. “I took advantage of your desire to help your son. That was wrong of me.”
“You were desperate to do anything for your family. I understand that feeling.” As Nina said those words, she felt the truth of them settle deep in her soul. Life wasn’t about black and white, right and wrong. It was about flawed humans doing their best, one day at time.
Now if she could just find a way to make Alex understand that her love for him was every bit as strong as her love for her son.
If he could understand that, they would be able to find a way to work through this tangle.
Together.
* * *
A box in his arms, Alex knocked on Nina’s cabin door with his boot. Moonlight sparkled through the branches overhead. Now that he had his compass firmly planted, he’d accomplished a lot in a few short hours, busy as hell setting things into motion all while seeing his cousin off at the end of the wedding. But then a rancher was a multitasker by nature. He didn’t want to waste another second. He had to win Nina over and keep her in his life.
Hopefully forever.
She opened the door, her hair wet from a shower, wearing pj shorts and a loose shirt. And she’d never looked more beautiful.
Pursued by the Rich Rancher Page 15
