by Joan Jonker
However, it wasn’t Molly’s words that were causing Nellie to want to look her best, and to practise what she was going to say to George when she was hugging and kissing him as he came in the front door. Oh, no, Nellie had an ulterior motive, being her usual crafty self. For she was going into town with her mate tomorrow, to look at wedding hats. Not to buy one, just to find out which shop had the most eye-catching creations, and how much they were likely to cost. It was a long way off the wedding yet, but it wouldn’t hurt to shop around, looking at dresses as well as hats. It gave her something to look forward to. And this is where being nice to George would come in handy. For when he was in a good mood she could coax him into giving her extra housekeeping money, which, of course, wouldn’t be spent on food, but on her wedding outfit.
Nellie decided to try to see herself in the mirror in the kitchen, which was used by George and Paul when they were shaving. So she waddled out to the kitchen and picked up the mirror, which was donkey’s years old, and pockmarked. She carried it through to the living room and stood in front of the window holding it up to her face. ‘Oh, my God, I look as though I’ve got the bleeding measles. I’ll buy a decent mirror when I go to the shops, I can get one for sixpence from Woolworth’s. And I’d better start on the tea now, ’cos the men will be in soon.’ Nellie was talking to the mirror as she walked back to the kitchen. ‘Thank goodness it’s an easy meal. And if George smells bacon frying as he opens the front door, that should put him in a good mood.’
However, it was Paul who came through the front door first, and called, ‘That’s a nice smell, Mam. It’s made me realize how hungry I am.’
‘Isn’t yer dad with yer?’ Nellie felt really let down. She’d dolled herself up for greeting George, with a loving welcome on her lips, and in walks Paul!
Her son kissed her cheek. ‘He won’t be long, he’s talking to Uncle Corker.’ His dimples appeared when he smiled down at her. ‘And he’s in a better temper than he was this morning.’
‘It’s to be hoped so, lad, because although I’ve told meself not to get in a state about it, I can’t always trust meself. I say one thing and do another. But one thing I know for sure, I’m not going to be responsible for winding the alarm every night, he can do it himself. Anyway, lad, you wash yer hands and I’ll put the dinner out. If yer dad stands gassing and his dinner goes cold, that’s his lookout.’
‘I’ve just heard him saying ta-ra to Uncle Corker so he’s on his way now.’
Nellie touched his arm. ‘Ay, lad, if yer hear me being two-faced, and gushing, don’t say nothing ’cos I’m only trying to get round yer dad for a few bob.’ At that moment George was closing the front door behind him, and when he walked into the living room to find Nellie smiling sweetly with her arms outstretched, he stood and gawped. ‘Hello, love.’ She lifted her face for a kiss. ‘Yer dinner is ready, and it’s yer favourite. Hang yer coat up, and while ye’re washing yer hands I’ll fetch it in.’
George watched her retreating back, astonishment written on his face. To be welcomed with open arms, a smile and a kiss was unheard of. Nellie must be feeling off colour, that’s the only thing he could put it down to. Then his brain came to light, and told him not to be taken in, because there could be another reason for her being so mellow. She could be after something. And as he went to hang his coat up, there was a smile on his face. That was it, she was after something and trying to soften him up. And she’d been crafty, knowing he wouldn’t be able to refuse with the smell of bacon wafting up his nose. Well, he’d go along with her ’cos he had been hard on her this morning and it had played on his mind all day. Not that he was going to give her everything she asked for, but he’d meet her halfway.
While George was washing his hands at the sink, Nellie carried Paul’s plate in and put it down in front of him. ‘I want a few words with you, lad. How come the neighbours know more about the wedding than I do? Yer own mother and I’m left in the dark! But eat yer dinner while it’s hot, and I’ll tell yer off later.’ Before making her way back to the kitchen, Nellie bent down and whispered in her son’s ear, ‘Just listen to this, lad.’ She swayed her way out to the stove and turned over the slices of bacon, saying, ‘Light of my life, would you like one slice of fried bread, or two?’
Oh, this wife of mine is up to something, George thought, but I’ll get a little dig in. ‘I’ll have two slices, Nellie, to make up for not having any breakfast.’
Nellie didn’t rise to the hint, which was very unusual, for normally she’d fly off the handle at the least thing. ‘Then two slices you shall have, my love.’ How she was laughing inside at the expression on George’s face. She felt like kissing him, for she loved the bones of him even though she didn’t show it. Except for when they were in the bedroom, but that went without saying. ‘And I’ll sprinkle some salt on, just as you like it.’
Seated at the dining table, Paul was chuckling quietly. It was more than a few bob his mam was after. From the performance she was giving, he’d say it was more like a few pound. And she’d get it as well. For if his dad didn’t cough up, he’d give it to her himself. Like Steve and Lily, he adored his mother for what she was. Loving, warm, a bit batty at times, but always full of fun. She had no idea about money matters, though, and if it weren’t for Mrs Bennett she’d spend the week’s housekeeping in one day. It was Mrs B. who kept her on the straight and narrow, and for that the McDonough family were all grateful.
George pulled a chair from under the table and sat facing his son. He put a finger to his lips and winked, just as Nellie carried his dinner through. ‘There you are, beloved, heart of my heart. Just as yer like it. Fried bread crisp, and egg soft and runny. Yer couldn’t be better served if yer were in the Adelphi.’
George picked up his knife and fork, stood them like sentinels either side of the plate, then said, ‘Okay, Nellie, what is it ye’re after? If it’s a few bob, I’ll give it to yer now, then I can enjoy me dinner.’
‘Well, it’s like this, George. Me and Molly are going into town tomorrow, and although we’re only going to look around, I’d like to have some money in me purse, just in case I see something I fancy.’
‘Is it a couple of bob yer want, Nellie? I don’t know what yer need, I’m not a ruddy mind-reader.’
‘Oh, skip it,’ Nellie said, ‘it’s not worth the ruddy trouble. I’ve got enough for me bus fare, I’ll make do with that.’
‘Now don’t be acting childish, Nellie, I only asked yer how much yer wanted! I didn’t say I wouldn’t give yer any money.’
Paul knew his mother inside out, and he now hit the nail on the head. ‘You and Mrs B. wouldn’t be going to look at wedding hats, would yer?’
Nellie didn’t even blush. ‘Not in particular, lad, but yeah, we’ll probably look at some, along with dresses and other things. That’s what women do, yer know. They go window shopping.’
‘If I can interrupt for a minute,’ George said, ‘where’s your dinner, Nellie?’
‘Oh, I had mine earlier ’cos I was hungry.’ Nellie couldn’t look down her nose, her face wasn’t arranged for her to do that. But if she could she would have done. Instead she had to make do with saying in a voice as posh as she could manage, ‘But thank you for noticing.’
‘Don’t you or Mrs B. buy anything for the wedding, Mam,’ Paul said, ‘because yer really need to see what colour the bridesmaids are going to wear. Yer don’t want the colours to clash, do yer?’
‘Well can’t yer ask Phoebe what colour the dresses are going to be? It should be easy for yer seeing as ye’re the ruddy groom. And while we’re on the subject, how come I’m the only one what doesn’t know what’s going on?’
‘Mam, yer weren’t here last night, so I couldn’t tell yer. And yer were in bed when I got in, it was half eleven. And I don’t think yer’d have been pleased if I’d woken yer up to tell yer what we’ve planned so far.’
Nellie chuckled and the table rose from the floor. ‘Ye’re right, lad, I’d have clocked yer one. But yer
can tell me now, can’t yer, so I’m up to date about what’s going on?’
Paul pushed his empty plate away and turned to face his mother. His deep brown eyes were shining with happiness, and his dimples deep. ‘Our Lily is chief maid of honour, and Jill, Doreen and Rosie are also maids of honour. The two bridesmaids are Dorothy Corkhill and Ruthie Bennett.’
Nellie’s bottom was polishing the seat of her chair she was so excited. ‘Ooh, er, it’s going to be proper posh, isn’t it? I won’t half be swanking. Me and Molly will be dressed to the nines, and the neighbours won’t know us. I’m going to get meself a hat what will put everyone else in the shade.’ Nellie remembered her mate’s words, and added, ‘Except Phoebe, of course. All eyes will be on her, as she’s the bride. And Molly said, she’s going to make a beautiful bride.’
‘Me heart goes fifteen to the dozen when I think about the wedding, Mam,’ Paul said. ‘I want everything to be perfect for Phoebe because she deserves it.’
‘Yer’ve got a good girl in Phoebe,’ George told him. ‘She’s one in a million. Everything you would want in a wife. Pretty as a picture, quiet, respectful, and her head screwed on the right way.’
Up went the table when Nellie burst out laughing. ‘In other words, lad, ye’re marrying someone exactly like yer mam.’
‘Then I’ll be doing well for meself if that’s the case,’ Paul said. ‘You and me dad have had a good marriage. We’ve always been happy, Steve, Lily and me.’
‘Ay, this wedding is going to cost a lot of money, lad. I hope ye’re still saving up?’
‘Uncle Corker is paying the bulk of it, Mam. I’ve offered to pay towards everything, but he flatly refuses. Even the reception, I wanted to pay for that, but he said he wants to do his own thing. But when it gets nearer the time, I’m going to have another go at him. According to him, the bride’s father always pays for the wedding and reception. The groom pays for the flowers, buttonholes and presents for the bridesmaids.’
‘That’ll cost yer a fair bit, lad.’ Nellie’s chins agreed with her. ‘Yer can’t buy them cheap presents from Woolies.’
‘I know that, Mam. Me and Phoebe were talking about it last night, and she thought they’d be delighted with a cross and chain.’
Nellie frowned. ‘Didn’t Archie buy cross and chains for the bridesmaids when our Lily got married?’
‘I can’t remember, Mam. I wasn’t as interested in that wedding as I am in my own.’ He pulled a face. ‘That sounds terrible, and I didn’t mean it to come out like that. Of course I was interested and happy for our Lily and Archie, but men don’t think of asking what sort of presents the bridesmaids got. That’s more women’s talk. But I will find out from our Lily, because I wouldn’t want to buy them the same.’
‘When are yer getting measured for yer suit, lad?’ Nellie asked. ‘Don’t leave it until the last minute ’cos some shops take ages, and yer have to go for fittings. Yer’ve got to look good, yer can’t let the side down.’
‘Nellie, he’s old enough to know what he’s doing,’ George said, shaking his head. ‘He’ll be a married man soon, he doesn’t need you to hold his hand.’
Nellie wasn’t going to argue, not until she had some money in her hand. ‘I know that, love, but don’t forget he is me youngest child.’
‘He happens to be my youngest child, too, Nellie. I did have a hand in him being born.’
Even if it meant she couldn’t cadge as much if she carried on and said what was in her mind, Nellie couldn’t resist. ‘Oh, I know ye’re his father, light of my life, but yer hand had nothing to do with it.’
Paul was chuckling as he got to his feet. ‘I’m going to get ready before yer’ve got me blushing.’
‘I hope Phoebe’s got an open mind and a sense of humour,’ George said. ‘She’ll need both if she’s coming to live here after yer get married. I’ve been married to yer mother for twenty-five years and she still makes me blush. So warn the lass, Paul.’
‘Oh, I think Phoebe’s got more than a vague idea of what she’s in for, Dad, she’s used to me mam. In fact she’s looking forward to living here.’ Paul put his hand in his trouser pocket and took out half a crown. ‘Put this to what ye’re able to cadge off me dad, and you and Mrs B. can buy yerselves a pot of tea in the Kardomah.’
Nellie grinned up at him. ‘Thanks, lad, me and Molly will think of yer when we’re drinking the tea, and eating the cakes yer dad is going to treat us to.’
Paul patted his father’s shoulder as he passed. ‘Pay up, Dad, and make life a lot easier for yerself.’
‘Don’t worry, son, I know I’m beaten before I start. I know yer mam inside out, and half a crown isn’t much to pay for an evening of peace.’
When Paul had gone upstairs to get changed, Nellie began to collect the dinner plates. ‘I’ll be going to Molly’s when I’ve washed up, so yer’ll have the house to yerself. We’re going round to see Bridie and Bob, and we’ll probably end up playing cards. But I’ll be home to make us a cup of tea before we go to bed.’ She was at the kitchen door when she added, ‘You set the alarm clock tonight to make sure. I don’t want another performance like this morning. What a ruddy to-do that was.’
‘Well, what did you expect, love? I can’t sail into work when I feel like it. As it happens, one of me mates clocked on for me, and I was lucky the boss was in his office and didn’t see me.’
‘Set the clock yerself every night, then yer’ve only got yerself to rant and rave at.’ Nellie put the plates in the kitchen then came back to stand at the door. ‘Mind you, though, love, while I was hopping mad at the time, calling yer all the names under the sun, I had a few good laughs when I’d calmed down. The look of your struggling to get yer legs in yer trousers, and falling all over the place, well it’s a long time since I’ve seen such a funny sight.’
George chuckled. ‘I can see the funny side of it meself now, and I had me mates in stitches at our dinner break. I stretched the truth a bit, mind you, to make it funnier than it was.’ Once again George chuckled. ‘I said I was putting them on back to front, and then trying to get both feet in one leg.’
‘Ay, lad, I’m the comedian in this family, so don’t be trying to put my nose out of joint.’
‘I’ll never be that good, love. There’s no chance of me catching up with you because if I remember rightly, your mam told me that when yer were born the first sound yer made was a joke!’
‘She was pulling yer leg, lad.’ Nellie wasn’t going to let him have the last laugh. ‘I remember when I first saw the light of day, I told the midwife her hands were cold and she was too bleeding rough.’
‘That I can believe.’ George struck a match and lit his Woodbine. After a few puffs, and through a cloud of smoke, he squinted at his wife. ‘Yer never did like the cold. I remember when we got married, it was the middle of winter, and yer couldn’t get into bed quick enough to warm yer cold feet on me.’
‘My God, you’ve got a good memory, George. Yer might be slow in other departments, but yer’ve got a good memory.’ Nellie had turned round to go back into the kitchen when she had a thought and stepped back. ‘And yer still keep me warm in bed, lad, I’ve no complaints there. Plus yer’ve got staying power.’
‘I need it with you, Nellie. If I’d been a weakling, I’d be dead by now.’
‘I’m not soft, lad, I know what I’m doing.’ Nellie couldn’t decide whether to cross the room and give George a kiss, or retreat to the kitchen and wash the dishes. In the end she did both. A quick kiss on the cheek of a very surprised George, then on her way to the dishes she called, ‘I knew yer would stay the course, ’cos I could feel yer muscles while we were dancing, and I told meself you were the man for me! Fit as a fiddle.’
With water running in the kitchen, George had to shout to make himself heard. ‘I’m glad yer didn’t marry me for me looks or me money, Nellie, I wouldn’t have appreciated that. I bet there’s not many girls marry men for their muscles, so I’ll take that as a compliment.’
&nb
sp; Nellie hummed as she washed the few dishes, then put them on the shelf after she’d dried them. It was an effort for her to reach the shelf, her being so small, so she could only do it one plate at a time while standing on tiptoe. Then she gave her face a cat’s lick and a promise, and patted her hair into place.
George looked up from his newspaper when Nellie came into the room. ‘There’s a half a crown on the table for yer, love. It’ll be enough with what Paul gave yer, for tea and a cake each for you and Molly. I’d give yer more, but I’m putting money aside each week for the wedding.’
‘You won’t need no money for the wedding, George, ’cos Corker is paying for everything. The father of the bride always has to fork out, that’s traditional.’
‘I’ll have to have a new suit, Nellie. It’s my son getting wed, don’t forget. I want to do him proud. We’d look well, me and you, if you were dressed to the nines and I looked like a rag and bone man. It’ll only be a Burton’s thirty bob ready made suit, but with a decent shirt and tie no one will know the difference.’
‘Ay, we won’t half open the neighbours’ eyes, lad. They’ll think we’ve won the pools, or someone’s died and left us a fortune in their will.’
There was a loud guffaw from George. ‘Seeing as we don’t know anyone with money it’s unlikely we’ll ever be left any. And as I don’t do the pools, that’s not possible. Never mind, love, we may be poor, but we’re honest.’
Nellie reached for her coat. ‘Yeah, there’s plenty of folk worse off than what we are. We’re lucky compared to some.’ She fastened the only two buttons left on her coat, and waddled towards the front door. ‘I won’t be late getting back, but don’t do anything I wouldn’t do while I’m away.’
