by Bry Ann
I hate Anthony with everything in me, but Anthony was all Ajax had.
Me: I don’t care about Ajax.
Lies.
Kiki: Okay, if you’re gonna lie you gotta at least only half lie. I know you care about Ajax. It’s okay. I don’t blame him for what Anthony did.
Me: He’s a coward. Never stood up for you. You know how I feel about relationships.
And that is all true. I think Ajax is a coward. I think he’s weak. My dad would never, but if he hurt someone, anyone, I would stand up to him. Even if it killed me, I’d fight him to stop that person's pain.
Kiki: One day you’ll find someone.
Bullshit. I can’t even sleep through the night or hold someone’s hand. Try explaining that to a partner. I’ll be alone. And that’s fine.
Rain: Maybe… if so, it won’t be the muscled Frenchmen.
Kiki: Maybe…
I go to the bathroom and start to organize my makeup for the millionth time when my phone rings.
“He’s here!” Kiki’s voice rings over the speaker.
“Told you he’d come!” I whisper-shout, excited out of my mind. Kiki deserves this moment.
“What do I do?!”
“Uh, fuck him.”
“What if I suck in bed?”
“I promise you won’t. Hang up this phone and have a great night. You deserve it.”
I hang up, giving her no choice but to face him. She’s got this. She’s just overly excited and thinking irrationally. Guy will put that to rest, I'm sure. I put my phone away and smile. All I want is for Kiki to get her happily ever after and I really think Guy’s it.
Ugh, listen to me. Five minutes ago, I talked about not believing in relationships and the next minute, I'm talking about Kiki’s happily ever after. I scrub and scrub at my beauty blender, trying to wash it clean of everything.
“Rain!” Dad calls.
I step out of my bathroom. “Yeah?”
“I have to go to the office to meet with Arnold. I'm sorry. I know we planned to have dinner together tonight.”
My heart sinks. Arnold Brandy, of course. The man Dad’s been trying to negotiate a deal with on some prime piece of real estate for what feels like forever.
“No problem. Good luck.”
He looks up at me where I'm hanging over the banister. “What are your plans tonight?”
His eyes are soft. Worried. I don’t want him to worry about me, not when he has such an important meeting.
“I'm sure Kiki’s free,” I lie.
“Okay, good. That makes me feel better. See you tomorrow, sweetie.”
“See ya. Bye, Dad.”
With a sigh, I walk to my room and take a seat on the hardwood. Well, fuck. I guess I can paint my nails… again. Maybe work out. The Lord knows I suck at that.
I feel my eyes start to pulse with unshed tears. Hell no! You all know my rules on tears. That hasn’t changed from age eight.
I stand up, snatch my phone, and call Ajax’s doctor. One of my good habits in life is getting everyone’s number that I meet. Got that from my dad. You never know when you’ll need them.
“Dr. Ligaro speaking.”
“Hello, Dr. Ligaro, it’s Rain Brown speaking. I'm calling regarding—”
“I know who you’re calling about,” he sighs. “I was hoping you’d call. Do you know where he is?”
“What?” I hiss.
“He had an appointment on Thursday. He never showed. We called and sent several emails and couldn’t get a hold of him. He was safe to discharge but he still needs to be monitored. The sutures need to be looked at and he’s still at risk for an infection.”
That big idiot!
“I’ll have him there within the hour. Can you squeeze him in?”
“We’ll try. We’re pretty—”
“You’ll have my full financial appreciation for this.”
There’s a silence. “We can squeeze him in.”
Yeah, thought so.
My fist slams on the door to his condo. He’s off work for the next week while he recovers. Honestly, probably longer since Ajax runs a construction company and a personal training business. He’s really humble but he’s pretty successful. He started the construction company young. It has moderate success, so now he only works there when he has to. Most of the time, he works the books and all that. The personal training is new. He coaches bodybuilding competitors solely. I think he enjoys training people when they are in a vulnerable position and need him, which in this case is due to the heavy dieting involved. I’ve heard people are extra emotional close to a competition.
“Ajax, open the damn door! It’s Rain, in case you haven’t figured that out.” I wait like .02 seconds. “Ajax!”
“What?!” comes a voice from the other side of the door. The door swings open and Ajax is there, two inches from me. Anytime I'm away from him for more than a few days, the size of him alarms me. He makes me feel so tiny and safe.
I put my hands on my hips. “You missed your appointment.”
“Go away, Rain.” He goes to shut the door but I throw my arm out and catch it.
“Don’t worry, I made you an appointment in an hour. We have a little time but we have to leave in thirty minutes.”
I shove my way inside, knowing Ajax would never physically remove me. Above honestly everyone else, he understands my issues. More than my dad even. He would never, ever do something to send me spiraling into a flashback since that day he took me for Anthony. He’s now been witness to two; I know that’s plenty for him.
As soon as I enter, I freeze. The place is a wreck—beer bottles everywhere, pizza boxes stacked up, clothes tossed all over the floor. I’ve never been inside Ajax’s place but this is wrong. A man with his body meal preps religiously. He’s organized enough to be at the gym in the early morning, even when he has to work ten-hour days. This isn’t me hyping it up. It’s science. He looks a certain way, so he has to have the habits to back him.
“Ajax,” I gasp.
“Leave, Rain,” he grits through his teeth, which is so unlike him too. He’s usually pretty nice to me. I think he thinks I'm fragile.
“You sit down,” I say quietly, but not in a gentle tone. Oh no, I'm pissed. This weak son of a… ugh!
He must catch my tone because he sits. I immediately start collecting the beer bottles. Those bother me the most. Although I know I look like some kind of weird sex fantasy, prancing around in my red mini dress and four-inch high heels, I can only carry, like, six bottles before I have to go to the kitchen. I find a rhythm with it, cleaning up his shit, back and forth between the living room and the kitchen. I'm on my third trip over when I crash into a hard chest. I quickly step back and find myself face to, well, chest until I look up, with Ajax.
“Stop, chérie.” (Darling)
“You’re right. We have to go. You can’t be late for your appointment this time.”
“Rain, this isn’t necessary.”
“You can’t sit here and tell me your pain isn’t at least a 7 on a scale of 1-10.” His lips zip together. Thought so. “Get ready to buckle up, buttercup. We’re leaving.”
Ajax sighs. “Rain, it doesn’t matter.”
“Does to me.”
“If I go, will you leave me alone?”
“For now.”
“Don’t you have friends?!”
I freeze. One. I have one friend. Ajax seems to catch it too because he steps up behind me.
“Friends are overrated. You just need one good one. You have that.”
I nod. “Agreed. I don’t need more friends. I just wish my dad was around more, ya know?”
Shit, why did I say that?
“Let me guess, he cancelled y’all’s plans tonight.”
“That’s not why I'm here.”
“Sure it’s not. Let’s get this over with.”
I feel really bad as we make our way out of his condo. I bite my lip and stare over at him as we push the double doors open.
“Ajax,
I didn’t—”
“Wait, shh!” Ajax puts a finger over my lips, shocking me. He’s looking around, eyes squinted, large body tense.
I move my lips from his finger. “What’s wrong?”
His frown deepens. “When I'm with you, I feel like—” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to scare you.”
“No, what is it?”
“I’ll tell you in the car.”
My brows furrow as I climb into the back seat of the car. The car has a U shape in the back so I sit across from him as he slowly climbs in the vehicle. I can tell he’s been taking his pain meds because he’s handling all the bending very well.
“So, what’s wrong?”
As Donald drives off, Ajax turns to me.
“Every time I'm with you, I feel like we’re being… watched.”
12
Ajax
Rain’s eyes widen then squint. “Watched? Are you okay? Is this some kind of… medication thing?”
“No, it’s only when I'm with you. It feels real, Rain.”
“Hmm.” Her red lips pull together. “I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t know enough people to be watched.”
“Maybe someone from your past?”
“No,” she mumbles. “Dad took care of all that.”
“Is it possible someone your dad works with is… odd?”
“No, Dad wouldn’t take any risks. He’d let me know and have someone on me.”
“Hmm.” Someone is definitely watching. I feel it in every fiber of my bones when she’s near lately. But I can tell she thinks I'm high on my medication. She’s being nice, answering my questions, but she looks worried and not about herself. About me.
Maybe I am crazy.
This sounds crazy.
Her dad is Richard Brown, for God’s sake.
“We’re at the hospital. Conversation for another day?”
She’s really being nice here.
“Sounds good.”
“Alright, grande uomo. Let’s do this.” (Big Man)
It’s a good thing Rain dragged me to that appointment a few days ago. Turns out one of my incisions was infected. It was mild, but it could have been serious had they not caught it when they did.
Whoops.
Oh well.
I'm working on my physical therapy exercises when my phone rings.
“Ajax speaking.”
“Ajax Mercier, Richard Brown speaking.”
I drop the band in my hand and stand straight up, sending a quick jolt of pain through me that I ignore.
“Mr. Brown, how can I help you?”
Shit, this can’t be good.
“I need to speak with you. In person. How soon can you be here?”
“I'm out of work right now, sir. I can be there anytime.”
“Good. I’ll send a driver now.”
“I can drive. It’s no problem.”
“Rain has kept me informed as to your recovery. You shouldn’t be on the road yet.” It’s not worry for me that he’s expressing, it’s annoyance that Rain’s talked about me and concern for the other drivers on the road. “I’ll send a driver.”
“Okay, I’ll be ready.”
“See you soon, Mr. Mercier.”
Oh boy, I think I’d rather be drowning in alcohol, missing my brother while feeling guilty for thinking about that abusive bastard.
I wish I knew what they did with him.
I wish I knew where he was buried, because I know he’s no longer alive.
I wish I could talk to Kiki. See how she is. Apologize.
I, as quickly as possible, get dressed in some nicer clothes. Ten minutes later, another man, not Donald like I thought, is at my door.
“I'm here to pick you up, sir.”
“Thank you.” I check my pocket for my wallet. Good to go.
I follow him out to the car and swallow. What does he want with me? I’ve never met Rain’s dad face to face, but I’ve seen him around and from the looks he’s given me, I know he doesn’t like me. How could he? I'm Anthony’s brother and Kiki is Rain’s best friend.
The drive there is quiet. Without Rain here, the drive is awkward. That woman can make the most awkward situation in the world amusing.
Twenty or so minutes later, we pull up to a giant mansion. Richard’s mansion is stunning. Tan walls with thick white rails and luxurious lighting that shines out of every window. It’s intimidating. This isn’t my life. Anthony’s family was well off, but not to this degree, and I didn’t really fit in there. Anthony and I got along, or so I thought. Now I know he was just using me and it hurts. His parents didn’t really like me. His mom thought I was okay, she was nice enough, but his dad hated me. He was just like Anthony.
My parents were poor since they were both teachers but they made the most of every moment they had.
I miss them. So much.
The driver opens my door for me so I thank him.
“I’ll take you to Mr. Brown,” he says.
I nod, unsure what else to do. He leads me through the exquisite front door and into the foyer. God, this is insane. Rain lives here every day. She must have wanted to vomit coming into my unusually messy condo the other day.
“His office is right this way.” He extends a hand to a pair of large oak double doors. “He said to enter as soon as you arrive.”
“Do you know anything about why I'm here?” I ask him.
The driver's eyes go vacant. “No, sir.”
He’s lying but I figured he wouldn’t tell me. I glance around, looking for Rain, but there’s no sign of her. Exhaling, I walk towards the doors and push them open. They’re heavy. It takes actual effort to get them open, but I do.
When I enter, Richard Brown is there, pacing back and forth in his expensive Armani suit. His hand is on his jaw and he’s lost in his thoughts. He looks… anxious. I know enough about him to know that’s not like him.
“Mr. Brown?”
His gaze snaps up. “Mr. Mercier. Thank you for coming. Please sit.”
I take a seat across from him. He gazes down at his hands as he sits before speaking.
“I know Rain took you to your appointment the other day.”
“She did. Is this an issue?”
He frowns. “That’s not the issue at hand, no. Donald overheard something I wanted to discuss with you.” I swallow. “Something about you feeling like you’re being watched when you’re with Rain.”
My eyes widen. “I—well, Rain thinks I was high on medication, but I can’t lie to you. The feeling is real and very prominent. When I'm with her, we are being watched.”
He sighs. “Fuck.”
“You believe me?”
“I do. I’ve always had a feeling he’d come back for her.” He glances at me. “Rain’s father has never been caught.”
So her father hurt her. Shit. Fury boils beneath my veins.
“She’s under the impression that everyone from her past has been taken care of.”
“She would be. I lied.”
“You lied?”
Mr. Brown’s eyes blaze. “Rain deserves peace!” He slams his fist down on the table. “How do I tell her I failed her? How do I tell her I never found her monster?” It’s then I see behind the anger… I see the guilt and fear. “How do I tell her that? I’ll find him. She’ll never need to know I lied. If it is who I think it is, I’ll handle it before she knows a thing.”
“Mr. Brown, I don’t know about Rain’s past, but I do know she’ll resent you for lying to her. You should tell her what she could be facing.”
“You don’t know what she’s been through,” he snaps. “You don’t know the hurdles she’s had to overcome. What she still faces. I'm not causing her to go backwards because of my failure.”
“With all due respect, sir, I think this is wrong.”
He straightens, a firm look coming into his eyes. “You tell her, Mr. Mercier, and you know I will take away the thing you value most.”
“And what is that, Mr. Brown,
hmm? What could you take away from me?”
He thinks for a moment. He thinks for a long moment. I smirk, but it’s not a happy smile. Sure I have my businesses and yes, it would be completely devastating if he messed with my businesses, but that doesn’t target my heart. That’s not enough to stop me from doing what I think is right by Rain. If I absolutely had to, my adopted dad would give me a job to keep me out of the way.
“If you care about Rain at all, you’ll trust me on this. If you tell her there’s any potential her biological piece of shit of a father found her, you don’t know the severe damage it will do to her psyche. She won’t be able to handle it. Let’s at least be sure. Not just some hunch.”
“You seem sure. You wouldn’t have called me about an overheard conversation if you weren’t,” I say quietly.
“I'm abundantly cautious when it comes to this subject, Ajax. You don’t know about any of this, nor am I going to tell you, but I called you here to make sure you don’t send my daughter backwards years of therapy and intense work. I will emphasize again that you don’t know the hell she’s endured. Don’t take a risk on something you’re unsure about. If you’re wrong, you risk sending her to a place she can’t come back from.”
I bite my tongue.
“Ajax,” he barks. “If you can’t drop this topic, stay away from Rain.”
“I do stay away from her. I haven’t ever sought her out.”
His eyes harden further. “Don’t flatter yourself. She has no interest in you.”
“I'm not insinuating she does. However, she does feel like she needs to feel sorry for me.”
Mr. Brown snickers. “Sounds like my daughter. Don’t hurt her, Ajax. Don’t interject yourself in a life you know nothing about. This is my only warning.”
“Are we done?”
Mr. Brown’s eyes narrow. With a nod, he stands. “Don’t make an enemy of a man like me, Mr. Mercier. There’s nothing I won’t do for my daughter. Nothing.”
“We both want the same thing. The last thing I want is to hurt your daughter, Mr. Brown.”
