by Bry Ann
Richard
I thought the rage I felt for Reggie would kick in more. I thought that would make it easy to shoot, but when Reggie moves, I hesitate. I hesitate and the blade he pulls pierces Ajax’s spine.
I thought the gun would scare him more.
I thought I wouldn’t hesitate to kill this bastard.
But it doesn’t.
And I do.
And Ajax suffers for it.
He may die because of this.
As soon as I look Rain over to make sure there’s nothing I need to address immediately, I go over to Ajax. My mind is splintering because my daughter is behind me, empty and bruised all over, but I have a young man here bleeding out.
“Ajax,” I rasp. “I didn’t think he’d—I had the gun… Oh God.”
“Call… 911,” he groans, voice barely a whisper. “Get… Rain out of… here.”
I tug at the ends of my hair. I should have brought security with me. No, there was no time. The knife is still lodged in his back. I want to pull it out of him, it looks so gruesome, but I know that the knife could be blocking an artery. He could bleed out if I pull it.
Ajax is being brave. He’s right. Rain has been through who knows what. She’s in severe shock and he needs an ambulance yesterday.
Shaking, I pull out my phone and dial 9-1-1.
“A young man’s been stabbed,” I blurt as soon as the operator answers. “He’s in his late 20s. Knife wound near the spinal cord.”
“Are you in a safe location?”
I glance at Reggie’s lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling and swallow my nausea. I killed a man.
“Yes, but please hurry. He doesn’t have long.”
I provide our address and explain the underground location. As soon as I hang up, I glance back at Ajax, who appears to have passed out. I force myself to turn away and go to my daughter. This sight in front of me kills me. As much as murdering Reggie haunts me, right now I want the chance to shoot that bullet all over again. Lifeless eyes meet mine. Her skin is black and blue. Last time I saw her like this, she was a tiny little thing and full of fear. Not lifeless like she is now. Of course, I’ve seen her zoned out before but my presence always brings her back.
I don't think that will work this time.
A tear slides down my cheek. I failed her. I swore that son of a bitch would never hurt her again. How could I let this happen?
“Rain,” I whisper, scooting forward, praying for a reaction. “I'm gonna get you home, sweetheart. I’ll bring the doctor there. I know you don’t like hospitals.”
Nothing.
“Rain, please. You’re safe. Come back to me. Rain?”
After a couple minutes, it becomes clear that I'm going to need to carry her out. I grab my phone and click Donald’s number.
“How far are you?”
“Two minutes away.”
I told him the location when I was driving here.
“I need you to hurry.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll be there.”
He hangs up. I go over to Rain and put my hand under her arms to prepare to lift her.
“I'm gonna get you out of here, Rain. Donald’s going to come get you. I’ll follow you home soon.”
I have to be here with Ajax. My daughter’s my priority but fuck, it’s hard to pretend he’s not bleeding out right behind me right now. I start to lift her when I swear I feel one of her muscles twitch. I set her back down and pause.
“Rain?”
“Ajax?” She turns to me. Her eyes are still vaguely empty, but she’s here.
“I’m gonna get him home,” I whisper, wanting to shelter her. Now is not the time. As much as I hate it, I know she cares for Ajax.
“Ajax.” She looks at me with big, brown, pleading eyes. The same eyes she stared at me with as a little girl in a hospital room begging me not to leave her. “Please, Dad.”
Fuck.
“I’ll bring him to you, I promise. First, we have to get out of here, okay?”
She glances over my shoulder with slightly unfocused eyes and that’s when she sees him. There’s no expression on her face as she rolls over her ankles onto all fours and crawls over to him.
“Ajax,” she whispers, rubbing his dirty hair back. Her hands run over his body methodically but quickly until she finds the wound. Her eyes snap to me, absolutely terrified, as the sirens ring in the background.
“Did my father do this?”
“Yes, I'm sorry, Rain. I-I couldn’t stop him in time.” No sense in lying to her now.
Her gaze slowly turns to her father’s lifeless body. The rage that I see there sends a chill down my spine. I’ve never seen her like this. She’s visibility shaking with rage.
“He’d better hope he’s dead,” she hisses, “because if Ajax dies and he’s still alive, he’s gonna wish he was dead.”
I don’t say anything to that. She turns back to Ajax. She lies on her side and shocks me by wrapping an arm around him.
“Don’t die, tesoro. Don’t die. Not when we just—not when there’s hope,” I swear I hear her whisper.
Her head tucks into his chest and her body shakes with the force of her silent sobs. I watch as my heart breaks into a million pieces. Just when I think I can’t take anymore, I hear commotion above us.
“Down here!” I yell, glancing at my daughter. “Please… help us.”
26
Rain
Everything is too loud. I hear footsteps stomping everywhere. Fear runs down my spine so I hold Ajax tighter, squeezing my eyes shut.
“Rain,” I hear Dad whisper. “Rain, it’s me. You're safe. I promise. The ambulance is here. I promise they won’t touch you, but… is there anything they should know about?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I can wait.”
For my doctor, Miranda, I mean. She’s treated me for years. I don’t trust anyone else.
“Okay,” Dad says, trusting my word, which I'm grateful for. “Rain, you need to let the EMTs help Ajax. Can you do that?”
A sob escapes my lips. I don’t want to let him go. He makes everything go away, even unconscious, even with the light touch of the blade handle against my thigh, reminding me this may be the last time I ever hold him.
But I won’t let my feelings be the reason he doesn’t get help. He wouldn’t waste one second letting someone help me.
Slowly, I slip my hands off his strong waist and shimmy back. As soon as there’s distance, the EMTs swarm in, followed by the cops. A few police officers come over to me, along with one EMT, but Dad comes to my rescue. He hands me an extra large jacket one of the EMTs tried to pass to me so I can cover myself and eases the men away. Claustrophobia sets in when they get too close, which makes the emptiness want to take over again and it can’t. Not now.
“Wait,” I whisper as they start to roll Ajax away. “I’m coming.”
I force myself to my feet. The pain is starting to settle in, but that doesn’t matter to me.
“We need to leave.”
I nod, following them. I glance back once to look at my dad. He looks the roughest I’ve ever seen him, but he’s still standing tall and strong, calming me.
“I’ll meet you there,” he says.
“Thank you,” I mouth, climbing out of the ditch that my dirt bag of a father kept me and my mother in.
“You ride in the front,” a man who doesn’t look a day over twenty says.
I don’t have the energy to argue. All that matters is that if Ajax wakes, he knows I'm here and for once he’s not alone.
As soon as we pull up to the hospital, I lose him. He’s dragged away from me, leaving me standing in the hallway, bruised and completely empty. I feel myself crumbling when I hear a voice I’d know anywhere.
“Rain!”
I turn and there she is. Kiki. Standing there with her hair all over her face, in oversized pajamas. She comes over to me slowly. When she’s in front of me, tears fill her eyes.
“Oh, Rain…”
“Ho
w did you know to come?” I ask, still a bit stoic.
“Well, Guy called me first. He’s… there, apparently. He and Frances were with Ajax but didn’t find the site until the ambulance led them there. They are handling the clean… never mind. It doesn’t matter. He called me. Then your dad called.”
Of course.
“Ajax…” I can’t finish my sentence.
“I know,” she whispers, eyes scanning my body once. “You know your dad will make sure he has the best care.”
“Dad hates Ajax,” I cry, slowly losing my battle with control.
“But you don’t and your dad loves you. I promise he’ll have the best care.”
I nod, albeit a bit frantically.
“Rain,” Kiki says, arms twitching by her sides because I know she’s dying to hold me. “Can you please get checked out? Please. You look… Are you okay? Are you in pain?”
I shake my head. “I don’t feel anything.”
She looks even more worried, but I don’t care because that’s nothing compared to how I feel right now.
“Where’s my dad?”
“On his way. I promise. Let’s go to the waiting room.” I glance back at the hallway where they took Ajax. “Rain, please,” Kiki whispers.
I guess I have no choice…
I'm turning to follow her when a man places his hand on my shoulder. “Are you lost? Let me get someone.”
But I lose his words under the memories of cruel touches and fingers that touched me in places that made my skin crawl.
“Rain, you’re okay! Rain, it’s me!”
“Rain, can you hear me?”
“Can we get some help over here?”
I hear screaming but it takes too long for me to realize it’s me. A needle pricks my arm and the world starts to fade away.
“No!” I try to cry. Kiki’s tear-stained face fills my vision before I go.
“It’s okay. I’ll watch over you and Ajax. I promise.”
Everything fades with that promise.
“When will she wake?” I hear my dad say, sounding pissed.
“We can’t say an exact time, sir, but it won’t be long.”
“I made a promise to my daughter she wouldn’t be hospitalized,” he snaps.
“Sir, this was in her best interest.”
I hear my dad reply but he says it too quietly for me to make out what he says.
“Dad,” I croak. “I'm awake.”
His gaze darts my way. “Thank God.”
He runs to my side. “How are you feeling?”
“Been better.” The memories slowly come back. “How’s Ajax?” I ask immediately.
“He just got out of surgery,” he says slowly. “He’s alive for now but they need to monitor him for the next twenty-four hours.”
“Where’s Kiki?”
“She’s with Ajax. She said something about a promise.”
I nod, so grateful for that. I glance at the IVs attached to me, feeling panic well up in my throat. The machines start to beep next to me which has footsteps coming towards my room.
“You’re okay,” he says calmly. “Miranda’s here. She’s monitoring your care.”
That calms me a bit. “Thank you, Dad, for… everything.”
“Don’t even say that,” he croaks. “I'm sorry,” he whispers so quietly I'm not sure I heard him right. He waves a hand and stands, pacing, running his hands through his hair right as Miranda enters.
“Hi, honey,” she says gently as she slips on a glove. “I promise to make this as painless as possible.”
27
Ajax
Three Days Later
Oh fuck, everything hurts.
Literally everything.
Where am I? What happened?
I glance around the room. The room is white and looks sterile.
A hospital?
What the fuck am I doing in a hospital?
I hate hospitals. They remind me of the day I lost my parents. Why would I be here?
I'm questioning that very thing when I see a wad of brown hair at the foot of my bed. It can’t be… Rain?
“Rain?”
“Ajax.” I look over in the corner of the room and see Richard standing there, arms crossed over his chest. When I start to shift, he jumps forward. “Don’t move. Your body has been through a lot.”
A knife entering my back plays across my mind, making me shiver, but I bury the thought and feelings for now.
“What is she doing here? She needs to be attended to,” I demand quietly, since she is clearly sleeping.
“She was. Briefly. She refused further treatment until she could see you,” he says, jaw ticking. “I'm watching over her and reporting to Miranda, her doctor, until we have a better solution.”
I glance down at the beautiful woman at the foot of my bed, sporting ratty, tangled hair. My woman.
“I wish she wouldn’t,” I whisper.
“You’re not alone in that,” Richard says. “I’ll give you two a moment.”
He heads for the door but turns when he reaches the doorway. “I'm glad you're awake, Ajax,” he says and then leaves.
I don’t have time to process that. I need to see Rain. I move to sit but pain washes over me, so intense that I cry out. Not only does Rain wake but nurses come rushing in.
“I'm okay, I'm okay,” I say through gritted teeth.
But they don’t listen. The nurses are checking everything and asking me questions. I can’t stop staring at Rain, who is now wide eyed and staring at me, terrified. I wish they’d stop fussing. As much pain as I'm in, they’re scaring her!
“Can you rate your pain on a scale of one to ten?”
“Nine,” I whisper only to the nurse, hoping Rain doesn’t hear.
She nods. “We’ll get you some medication then the doctor will come see you.”
“Can I have just one moment with…?” I leave the rest unsaid and glance at Rain. I'm still exhausted and even speaking wears me out.
“Of course. But just a moment, alright?” the nurse says softly.
I nod as she leaves to grab medication and a doctor, which honestly, both sound great.
Rain is now standing back, fidgeting. I pat the bed next to me. She shuffles over and takes a seat.
“How are you?” she whispers.
“I'm okay, chérie. Don’t worry.”
She doesn’t say anything. I try to scoot over but the pain is too much. I hate it. Still, she can fit. Her back will just be smooshed up against the side a little because she can’t lay on me, but still, I feel this is what she needs.
I pat further up the bed, by me. “Come here, babe.”
“Are you sure?” she whispers. I study her, realizing this is the first time she’s been truly bare in front of me. No makeup. Hair a mess. Wearing an oversized jacket.
Just her.
And even here in this hospital room, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“I couldn’t be more sure. I'm pretty sure a beautiful woman is the cure to everything.”
There’s a glimmer of amusement in her painfully black and blue eyes. Two black eyes. I'm gonna kill that fuck all over again—once I can walk again, of course.
She slowly shuffles up by me, sore, I'm sure. She’s careful not to hurt me, but she doesn’t realize even the simple touch of her warm hand provides so much comfort to me. The doctor comes in not too long later, as well as the nurse to provide medication to ease the pain. The doctor discusses the injury, the surgery, and the difficult healing process with me. The reality is that I’ll have to relearn to walk and a bunch of other shit I don’t want to think about right now. I let the pain meds ease me to sleep as I hold my woman. Kiki comes in as I drift off, offering a little smile. Rain’s soft snores fill my ears as the world fades to black.
The next few weeks are difficult, to be honest. It takes three days for me, Richard, Kiki, Miranda (Rain’s doctor,) and Lena (Rain’s therapist) to convince Rain to leave my side so she can
finally get some of her own injuries addressed. The immediate stuff was handled when she woke up from being sedated after my admission, but there were several injuries not addressed or mentioned that were left unattended. Miranda took her to her house, where she felt comfortable to do this. She also had a long session with Lena. Kiki and Guy stayed with me the whole time, as promised to Rain. Frances was already back at the mansion after sending his version of an apology for not finding me before I got stabbed.
Rain’s back with me now. She demanded to be here when I started physical therapy. That was one of the lowest moments of my life, realizing I really had to start over. I mean, fuck, I struggled to stand up from a damn chair. Every time rage rose to the surface, Rain was there, making snarky remarks and throwing blocks at my ankles, teasing me, but also calming me down.
“You’ll get it,” she’d say quietly when I got really frustrated, being sure to curl into my chest because as much as she still struggled with touch, it was a balm to me. In those moments, we pretended she was okay. We pretended she didn’t wake up at night screaming so loudly that nurses ran in. We pretended she didn’t black out when a male nurse moved her out of the way, not knowing her history. We pretended she didn’t cringe when I kissed her. We pretended her hand wasn’t broken and she wasn’t bruised and beaten all over, because any moment I could, I remembered those things. Every moment I could, I tended to her. It was hard though, with me still being inpatient. I felt better knowing that Richard and Kiki took turns being here. At least one of them was always here with Rain.
Always.
I guess the bottom line is, even though I'm the one in the hospital bed, she’s the one struggling. I don’t know how to help her, but I promise you this: unlike everything else in my life so far, I’ll face this head on. I need to get out of here. I need to get moved to outpatient, because only in outpatient can I help my girl.
Rain is asleep in a side chair, mouth open as always, which makes me smile. Richard enters the room to take Kiki’s spot. Kiki gives me a tired smile and gently kisses an inch from Rain’s head so she doesn’t wake her.
