by J. L. Perry
We moan in unison as he withdraws before pushing all the way back in. It feels wonderful. Picking up the pace, he pounds into me as his lips find mine again. He’s never taken me so roughly before, but I love it. I love him.
Within minutes, he throws his head back and groans as his body shudders before stilling.
‘I’ve fucking missed you,’ he says as his eyes lock with mine.
‘I’ve missed you too.’ I cup his face with my hand as my lips softly connect to his.
‘Which way to your bedroom?’
‘The last room at the end of the hall.’ He’ll be the first person other than me to ever enter my sanctuary … he’s the only person I want to share it with.
He turns down the hall with me in his arms, his cock still inside me, and I find myself wishing we could stay connected like this forever. Pausing at the door, his eyes dart around my space.
‘I always wondered what your room would look like,’ he says. It pleases me that he’s thought about me in that way. ‘It’s very … white.’
I laugh. ‘It’s calming.’ What else can I say? I don’t want to delve into the demons of my past. That’s all behind me now. This room was the light in my darkness, but I don’t need it now, I have him. He’s changed everything—he’s changed me. Maybe it’s time I added some colour in here. Something to signify what he’s added to my life.
Withdrawing himself, he gently places me on the middle of my bed before standing to full height. I’m overcome with the loss of our connection. ‘I’ve barely survived this week without you,’ he says, sighing. ‘I don’t want to ever experience that again.’
I don’t want to be without him either.
I admire his exquisite body as he hastily undresses before settling over the top of me. ‘I love you so much, Jade.’ My heart swells as his eyes lock with mine and he tenderly brushes the hair from my face. I’ll never tire of hearing him say that. Never!
My mind drifts back to this morning, when I was having regrets about never telling him how much I cared for him. It’s time I rectified that. I don’t want any more regrets where he’s concerned.
The words fall from my mouth before I chicken out. ‘I love you too, Brock.’ Finally. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. His face lights up and his mouth curves into a smile. It’s the first real smile I’ve seen since he arrived here.
‘You really love me?’ he asks, like he’s unsure if I’m telling the truth. Doesn’t he realise how much I’ve struggled to voice my feelings?
‘I do,’ I reply, stroking his face. ‘It’s the first time I’ve ever said those words, but I wanted you to know how I feel. I truly love you, Brock … with all my heart.’
I see tears well in his eyes and it tugs at my heart. His kiss is soft and sweet—full of love. Nothing like the hungry and desperate kisses he gave me a few minutes ago. He slides inside me again, connecting us in the most beautiful way, and I feel whole again.
We’re going to be okay.
CHAPTER THIRTY
JADE
It’s midmorning when we both finally wake. We spent countless hours reconnecting before falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. It’s the best I’ve slept since we’ve been apart.
‘Morning, beautiful,’ he says, rolling onto his side and caressing the side of my face. He looks refreshed, which pleases me. His gorgeous brown eyes don’t look as troubled as they did yesterday, and the dark circles under them are barely visible.
‘Morning, handsome,’ I reply, snuggling into him. ‘How did you sleep last night?’
‘Great. Better than I have in days. I can thank you for that.’ He places a soft kiss on my forehead.
‘Because I wore you out?’ There’s humour in my voice as I speak. I think we wore each other out.
‘No. Because just being near you again has helped … more than you know.’
‘Having you here has helped me too,’ I admit. ‘I’ve struggled without you, Brock.’ Being honest like this is something I rarely do, but something changed between us last night. I don’t want to hold back when it comes to him. I finally gave my heart completely, and it’s a wonderful feeling. I only hope he takes care of it.
‘Move in with me permanently, Jade. If being separated from you this week has taught me anything, it’s that I’m nothing without you by my side.’
‘I can’t.’
His brow furrows as my words sink in. ‘Why not? Are you having second thoughts about us already?’
‘Of course I’m not having second thoughts about us. I meant everything I said last night. I love you.’
‘Then why?’
‘It’s too soon. If this week has taught me anything, it’s that we rushed into everything before. I want us both to be sure that this is what we really want before making such a huge commitment. I can’t have a repeat of what I went through this week. It almost broke me.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he says, resting his head against mine. ‘Hurting you was the last thing I wanted. I’m sure about us. I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life. You’re it for me, Jade.’
‘You’re all I want too, but I still think it’s wise if we take things a little slower this time.’
Sighing, he pulls my face into his chest. I can hear the erratic beating of his heart as his grip on me tightens. ‘If that’s what you really want. I don’t want to force you into doing anything you’re not ready for. I guess I’ll be spending a lot of time here then, because I refuse to spend another night without you.’
‘I can live with that,’ I say, smiling.
‘You don’t really have a choice. That part of the deal is not up for negotiation.’ I laugh when he flips me over onto my back and settles between my legs. ‘I need you with me, Jade.’
Threading my fingers into his hair, I pull his mouth down to mine.
I need him with me too.
*
After we make love again, we shower and dress. I have no food in my apartment, so Brock offers to take me out for breakfast. We swing past his place on the way so he can change. He even packs some extra clothes into a bag to leave at my apartment. It’s going to be nice having him stay over.
It’s the first time going back to Brock’s since the incident, and I’ll admit I feel sick as we pull into his driveway. I’m grateful that apart from being in the car with his father, I don’t remember anything. The drugs in my system and the rope burns were the only injuries I sustained. I had a bruise on my shoulder and hip, but those have faded now. Rupert said they would’ve been from when he was shot and collapsed, with me in his arms.
After breakfast we head to the hospital to see Rupert. His face lights up the moment he notices Brock standing beside me. Even though our hands are linked, I’m sure the smile I give him in return tells him Brock and I are okay. He hasn’t mentioned Brock much when I’ve visited, but from what little he did say, I knew Rupert was concerned about us.
‘It’s good to see you again, mate,’ he says, reaching out to shake Brock’s hand. ‘I was sorry to hear about your father.’
Brock’s body stiffens when Rupert mentions Maxwell’s passing. He’s been acting more or less like his old self since waking this morning, but occasionally I see him drift off. It worries me. I hate that he’s feeling responsible for his father’s death. This afternoon, Brock and Josh are meeting with the coroner. I hope once the autopsy results are known, it will give Brock some peace. Logically, there’s no way he could’ve killed his father. Even if he suffered a heart attack like Brock believes, there must’ve been some underlying heart condition.
‘It’s good to see you as well,’ Brock says. ‘You’re looking much better than last time I saw you.’
‘I owe my speedy recovery to Jade. She’s been coming to visit me daily, and cutting up my food because I can’t move this damn arm. She’s done a good job of keeping me sane. Being cooped up in this place is hell. Hopefully I’ll be able to leave soon.’ Rupert looks at me. An appreciative smile graces his face.
I’ve enjoyed looking after him—he’s been looking after me for years. I’d like him to come and stay with me when he’s discharged, just until he gets on his feet again. I haven’t asked him yet, but I hope he says yes. Apart from Brock, he’s the closest thing I have to family.
‘And I’ve enjoyed every minute of it,’ I admit, kissing his cheek. We’ve always been close, but this week we’ve bonded on a totally different level.
‘She’s one in a million,’ Brock says, draping his arm around my shoulder.
‘She is.’ The huge smile on his face tells me Rupert’s pleased to see us together again.
Makes two of us.
Brock leaves me with Rupert while he goes to his appointment with the coroner. I can’t help but feel apprehensive—he promises to pick me up when he’s done, but that’s what he said the day his father died. I didn’t see him again for a week.
‘So, what are your plans once you’re discharged?’ I ask Rupert.
‘I’ll go back to my apartment. The doc says I have a few months of physio ahead of me.’
‘Do you live alone?’ Again I feel bad that I’ve never asked him before. He’s been my minder for over five years.
‘I do.’
‘How are you going to cope on your own? I heard the doctor say you’ll have limited movement in your arm for a while. Do you have family to care for you?’
‘Nope. It’s just me,’ he replies, sighing. The turmoil in his eyes tells me there’s a story there, but I’m not one to pry.
I place my hand on top of his. ‘Would you consider coming to stay with me? You know, until you regain some movement.’
‘I couldn’t do that.’
‘Yes, you could. I have plenty of room. Please. It would make me so happy.’ I give him the look I’ve often given him over the years. I know he can’t say no to that look. It’s low of me to even pull that move, but I want him to come stay with me. It’s the least I can do—I’m the one who got him into this mess.
‘I wouldn’t want to be a burden. You’ve only just regained your freedom.’ His words are telling me no, but the hopeful look I see on his face tells me he wants to accept my offer.
‘You could never be a burden. You’re like family to me.’
‘You’re like family to me as well.’ I’m surprised to see tears glistening in his eyes.
‘So come stay with me. It will be just like old times. I’ve missed being around you. It’s not like you can go back and work for M. We’re both out of a job now.’ Although there’s nothing funny about the way M’s treated us, there’s a touch of humour in my voice.
‘Are you sure you want me there?’ There’s vulnerability in his voice and it tears at my heart. I’ve never seen this side of him before. He’s always seemed so sure of himself, so put together.
‘Absolutely.’
‘Okay,’ he says, grinning. ‘That’ll be nice. Thank you.’
‘You don’t need to thank me. You’ve looked after me for years.’ We sit in comfortable silence for a while.
‘Can you pass me my wallet?’ Rupert says eventually. ‘It’s in the top drawer.’
Doing as he asks, I pass it to him. He opens it and hands it straight back.
‘I had a family once.’
He’s showing me a photo of two very attractive women. One looks to be around forty, the other is a teenager. They’re both blonde, and look like mother and daughter. There’s something familiar about the younger girl, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
‘Is this your family?’
‘Yes. My wife and daughter.’
I hate that I don’t know this. ‘They’re beautiful.’
‘Thank you,’ he says. ‘Not a day goes by that I don’t miss them.’
‘Where are they now?’ I have a feeling I’m not going to like his answer, but he brought it up for a reason.
‘I lost my wife fifteen years ago, to breast cancer.’
‘I’m sorry, Rupert,’ I say, clutching his wallet to my chest.
‘She was the love of my life,’ he says. The sadness in his voice tugs at my heart. ‘Her name was Beth. We were high school sweethearts.’
Covering his hand with mine, I give it a comforting squeeze. ‘It must be hard for you. What about your daughter?’
‘I lost her too. Twelve years ago.’
‘What?’ I gasp. ‘How?’
‘She went missing.’
‘And you’ve had no contact with her since?’ His shoulders slump as he lets out a sigh.
‘She would’ve contacted me if she was still alive. Her bank account hasn’t been touched since she went missing.’
‘You think she’s dead?’ I whisper, squeezing his hand. ‘Have you tried to find her?’ Pulling his wallet away from my chest, I look down at the picture again. I know I’ve seen that face before.
‘Yes. I’ve spent the last twelve years searching. That’s how I came to work for M. After my wife died, I fell into a deep depression. I started drinking heavily. I wasn’t there for my daughter when she needed me most. I was so wrapped up in my own grief that I didn’t even stop to think that she was going through the same thing.’
‘Oh Rupert.’ I don’t know what else to say.
‘She ended up getting involved with the wrong crowd, and started taking drugs. It was her coping mechanism. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there. If I was, maybe she’d still be alive. She was only sixteen when her mother passed.’
I see him wipe a tear from his eye and a lump rises to my throat.
‘She was such a good girl. A straight-A student, until our family fell apart. She never gave us any trouble. The day before she went missing, she came to me. She told me about the drug addiction and how M had cleaned her up and given her a job. Can you believe, in that moment I felt gratitude towards that woman for helping my daughter. I was so misguided.’ He shakes his head as he speaks.
‘Your daughter worked for M?’ I ask in disbelief. That’s why she looks so familiar. I must’ve seen her at the house.
‘Yes. The night she came to see me, she told me she wanted out. She’d met a young man and they were in love.’
Knowing M as well as I do, I know that wouldn’t have gone down well. ‘Do you think M had something to do with her disappearance?’
‘I know she did. That’s why I started working for her. I thought being on the inside, I’d be able to find out more. That’s how I came to know about the hidden room. The one I found you in. I’d gotten hold of the plans of her house, hoping it would give me a clue. Anything.’
‘Jesus. Did you find anything?’
‘Nothing. Not a damn thing.’
‘What was her name?’
‘Sasha … Sasha Taylor.’
Oh. My. God. The moment he says her name, memories of that night, and M’s voice, flash through my mind. It’s a name that has haunted me for years. ‘Nobody walks away from me, Sasha. Nobody!’ M had screamed into the girl’s face. ‘Do you understand me?’ I’ve tried to block out memories of that night for the past twelve years, but no matter how hard I try, the dreams and flashback still come. I look at the picture again. She’s a lot younger in this photo, but there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s her.
Dread fills me. ‘Sasha was your daughter?’ I ask.
‘You remember her?’ His face lights up and he groans, clasping at his shoulder, as he tries to sit up.
‘Oh Rupert.’ Tears are freely falling down my face. I’ll never forget what happened. ‘I remember the night she came to the house. I’d only been living with M for a few weeks. I was woken by the sounds of screaming. It frightened me. It was coming from downstairs. Sneaking out of my bedroom, I went to the staircase. Sasha and M were arguing in the foyer. I wanted to run back to the safety of my room, but I didn’t. I squatted down and watched through the bannister.’
‘Do you remember what happened? What they were saying?’
‘Yes,’ I whisper. ‘You’re not going to like it.’
&nb
sp; ‘I need to know … please.’
I look at my lap—I don’t want to see his reaction to my news. ‘Sasha was crying, and M was screaming at her.’ Sighing, I close my eyes I transport myself back to that night. ‘She said she’d met a man and they were in love and were planning to get married. M was furious and told her she couldn’t leave, and then—then …’ My hands cover my face, just like they did that night. ‘M grabbed her around the throat. She was choking her, Rupert.’
When I hear a sob escape him, I look up. He’s crying, and I feel awful.
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be,’ he replies, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. ‘I’ve been searching for answers for the last twelve years. It’s ironic that we’ve been working together for all this time, and you’ve had them all along. It’s the not knowing that’s been the hardest thing to live with. I accepted her death years ago—I didn’t have a choice. In my heart I knew she was never coming back.’
‘Oh, Rupert.’
‘I need to find my baby and give her the proper burial she deserves. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I won’t be able to find peace until I do. I want to bring her home and lay her to rest beside her mother.’
I lean over the bed and wrap him in my arms as we both cry. My heart is truly breaking for him. I hate that he’s suffered for so long.
We stay like this for the longest time, comforting each other, until I pull away. To my knowledge, M has no idea I witnessed what happened. That night changed me—in my heart I knew I was no longer safe living under her roof, and that’s what unknowingly gave her the power to control my future. Fear.
A brief conversation M had on the phone immediately after the murder replays in my mind: ‘Bring something heavy to weigh down the body.’
Dear God.
‘I think I know where her body is, Rupert.’
