by Evans, Ilsa
I was in a hospital room, a private room it seemed, which was probably fortunate given the level of noise my visitors were making. I flexed my right hand and felt the pull of the cannula against my skin. But nothing could detract from the warmth, the wonderful, blissful warmth. I felt defrosted, almost liquid. Even my headache was just a dull memory of what it had been. Coffee would be the icing on the cake. And cake wouldn’t be bad either. I opened my eyes a little wider. ‘Where’s mine?’
‘Mum!’ Quinn launched herself at me, her cup tilting sideways and spurting hot chocolate over the candlewick bedspread. Now I was even warmer.
Lucy joined her. ‘Oh, Mum. You had us so worried!’
I felt my hands being taken, first one and then the other as the girls crowded around, now all talking at once. Given we were not an overly demonstrative bunch, I took this show of affection as a compliment. It might well have continued for a while, had it not been for the nurse who bustled in, pushing a mobile blood pressure monitor. It was Emily Martiner, who had nursed my mother back when all this started. She wheeled the monitor over to the bed and waited while the girls backed away, all except Quinn, who got off the bed but kept a firm grip on my hand.
‘Good to see you back in the land of the living, Mrs Forrest!’
‘Ms Forrest,’ I replied in my husky voice. But I could already feel it moistening. ‘How’s Fiona?’
‘She’s doing okay. Still in intensive care for now, but she’ll be fine.’ Emily checked the IV bag and then set up her monitor. ‘Now we’ll just check your blood pressure, shall we?’
‘I think you need to check my eyesight.’ I pushed myself up the bed a little. ‘I can only see one of you.’
She frowned. ‘There is only one of me.’
‘Then why do you keep calling yourself “we”? That’s plural.’
‘Christ,’ said Petra from the armchair beside my bed. ‘She’s come back as our mother.’
Emily flushed. ‘All rightie, just pass us – I mean me, our, I mean your …’ Then she stopped talking altogether and just strapped the blood pressure cuff to my upper arm. She pumped it up steadily and let it deflate, watching the monitor.
‘Red.’ I smiled at my middle daughter. ‘So lovely to see you. Did you have a good trip?’
‘Until I got to Tullamarine.’ A slight English accent tinged her words. ‘And everyone’d forgotten me.’
‘We were in the middle of a crisis,’ said Ruby.
‘Where’s Scarlet?’ I asked, surveying my visitors. ‘And where’s Yen?’
Both Ruby and Red sent a fleeting glance towards their aunt. I frowned, but at that point Emily pulled the cuff away and jabbed briskly at the cannula. She seemed to have recovered her equilibrium. ‘All rightie then. How about I leave you all to it? But try to tone it down a little, let the leading lady get some peace and quiet.’
That was the last thing I wanted. I waited while she packed up the monitor and wheeled it from the room, then turned back to Petra. ‘Where are they?’
Petra crossed her legs, smoothed down her pants. ‘They’re down at the police station. Scarlet’s helping Yen get bailed.’
I blinked. ‘Why does Yen need bail?’
‘Because she shot Leon Chaucer.’
‘Only in the leg,’ added Red. She tipped a sachet of sugar into a disposable cup, stirred. ‘She should have finished him off. Or at least shot him between the legs.’
Ruby was shaking her head. ‘No, kneecapping is more efficient. That’s for life.’
‘Excuse me but I think between the legs would have a certain longevity also.’
‘I’m so proud,’ I said, still looking at my sister. ‘Now, how about you start at the top, when I didn’t come home. Someone get me some coffee.’
‘Okay.’ Petra leant forward, her smile fading. There was silence for a few moments and I realised she was struggling to start. This alone told me more than any hand clasp or hug. ‘I arrived at your place just after six. Lucy and Quinn were watching TV and there were some potatoes burning in the oven.’
‘I told you to watch those wedges!’
Lucy rolled her eyes. ‘Really, Mum?’
‘Anyway, we were just cleaning up when Uncle Jim and Yen arrived so she took over dinner.’ She grimaced. ‘The girls said you’d gone off to see Ashley Armistead so we waited for ages before we started to worry, thinking you were just, I don’t know …’
‘Vomit,’ said Quinn, readjusting our clasped hands so that she could prop herself on the bed. I pushed the wet part of the bedspread to one side. Ruby passed me the rest of her coffee and it tasted like heaven.
‘We tried to ring you several times but you never have your phone on so –’
‘Yeah,’ said Red with feeling. ‘Good luck with that.’
‘It wasn’t until about seven-thirty, eight, that we really started to think something was up. We rang the Armistead fellow and he said he hadn’t seen you. That’s when all hell broke loose. Within half an hour the place was swarming with police and he was there with another detective questioning the girls. What did your mother say? How did she sound? And there was all this confusion about horses and bridles and sex.’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘To think I always thought you were the conservative one.’
‘Oh my god.’
‘We had two TV crews out the front filming,’ added Lucy happily.
I was having trouble moving on from thoughts of Ashley Armistead’s face while being regaled with the equine side of things, and the fact I was apparently pretending to have a liaison with him. Grave fears held for local woman. Police investigate links with animal abuse and sexual fetishes. I took a sip of coffee, nestling the cup awkwardly with my spare hand, and wrenched my mind forward. When had I last weeded the front garden?
‘Auntie Pet rang Scarlet and me about nine,’ said Ruby. ‘So we came straight up.’
‘Nobody rang me.’ Red looked up at the ceiling, shook her head. ‘As usual.’
‘I expect they thought there was no point worrying you,’ I said reassuringly. ‘Given you were stuck on the other side of the world.’
‘As opposed to being stuck at Tullamarine with no idea what’s going on?’
‘Ssh, Red,’ said Ruby. ‘Let Auntie Pet tell the story.’
‘Anyway,’ Petra continued, ‘then they found your car opposite Fiona’s house, so Uncle Jim organised this search party. There were people everywhere but it was so damn dark that it ended up getting called off till the morning. That was probably one of the lowest points, waking up and realising how bad it looked.’ She looked around at the girls, and then went on. ‘Yen called a meeting for the Wednesday afternoon, but here’s the funny thing, Nell – it was at Sheridan House.’
‘So we were all there, discussing your disappearance –’ Lucy reached over to touch my leg briefly ‘– and you were right beneath us the whole time.’
‘But that’s when we started getting organised, instead of running around like headless chooks.’ Petra took my empty cup and tossed it with hers into the wastepaper bin. ‘The detectives came to answer questions but they weren’t sharing much. We found out later they’d already had Leon in for questioning but it was like there were two investigations going on, them and us. There was this sense of urgency, of time running out.’
‘Mr Poxleitner said if you were alive and somewhere without water, then we had till Friday night,’ said Quinn rather quietly. I made a mental note to thank Mr Poxleitner.
‘So we divided up the surrounding area. But we only included all the empty buildings, like old farmhouses, warehouses, even houses where the people were away, like the Roddoms and the Nightingales. No-one thought of occupied buildings.’
‘He was right there, too.’ Ruby shook her head, remembering. ‘Leon. The whole time. He even closed the art gallery on Wednesday so he could join the search.’
Petra nodded. ‘And we all thought it was poor Edward.’
‘Edward Given?’
‘Yes, it made sense. Not just
because of the pin. We knew you’d received a text and it had to be from someone you knew. Otherwise even you wouldn’t be that stupid.’
‘So it was clear you were targeted.’ Ruby moved her chair closer. ‘Meaning it had to be because you posed a threat somehow, that you knew something. Most probably something you found out during that day.’
‘Which led straight to Edward Given.’ Petra took over again. ‘We knew you’d rung the police because of something you’d seen, and then Beth Craig told us how you’d said the police were idiots, which suggested you weren’t happy with their response.’
Lucy leant forward again. ‘And she also said the murderer was Fiona, so a few people went off on that tangent as well!’
‘How did you work it out?’ I looked from one to the other. This was better than any movie I had ever watched. I only wished I could have taped it, to replay later. Especially as my eyes were starting to feel heavy.
Petra answered first. ‘Well, by Friday night there was just this real sense of depression. Almost resignation. The TV crew had packed up, and your paper had sent someone up to do an interview, which they were going to run the next day instead of your column.’ She paused, remembering. ‘We were all sitting in your living room watching the clock because of that whole Friday night thing. It was like a wake.’
‘That reminds me,’ said Ruby. ‘Did you say Quinn and Lucy could toss a coin for the doll’s house when you’re dead? That’s not fair.’
‘First come, first served,’ put in Lucy sanctimoniously.
Red was frowning. ‘I wasn’t even here!’
‘Enough!’ said Petra loudly, sounding remarkably like me. She shook her head. ‘I tell you what, now that she’s alive your mother can do another four doll houses so you can have one each. Okay?’ She glanced at each of her nieces but avoided my raised eyebrows. ‘Now can we get on with the story? Thank you. So, as I was saying, it was like a wake. And then at about ten o’clock, Yen suddenly stands up and says –’
‘This is fucking ridiculous,’ said Quinn quickly, proudly.
‘And off she goes. Next thing we get a call from Uncle Jim to say he and Yen have been arrested, along with Leon Chaucer, and the police are on the way to Sheridan House.’
Red took up the story. ‘So we raced over there and police were barring the entry. We joined the crowd, trying to find out what was going on, and there were more people arriving all the time. I don’t know how they all heard.’
‘You can get snatched from a car park and no-one sees a thing,’ I commented, a trifle bitterly, ‘but a free show draws an instant crowd.’
Petra laughed. ‘They were breaking the wine cellar door down, which took forever. Then about midnight they brought Fiona out.’ Her smile faded. ‘I don’t think any of us had really allowed ourselves to hope until then.’
My hand was squeezed again so I squeezed back, but kept my attention on Petra. ‘You were just worried you’d be stuck with Yen.’
‘I’m not sure why,’ said our mother from the doorway, with Scarlet just behind. ‘I am perfectly capable of looking after myself.’
‘Mum!’ Scarlet hurried across the room and hugged me, standing back for a moment only to hug me again. ‘God, Mum, you gave us such a fright.’
‘Sorry.’ I looked past her towards Yen. She looked tired. ‘You shot Leon Chaucer?’
‘Someone had to do something.’ She moved into the room and made a brief gesturing motion to Ruby, who vacated her chair. ‘Uncle Jim sends his love; he had to go home.’
‘She also shot Edward Given,’ said Scarlet helpfully. ‘Well, shot at him.’
‘Time was of the essence,’ said Yen, examining the contents of a paper bag that had been left on the table. ‘And I only shot his lounge-room wall, which needed painting anyway. Is anybody eating this muffin?’
I stared at her for a moment longer, and then looked back at Petra. ‘Tell me.’
‘Well, it seems that Yen here decided to take matters into her own hands. So she went around to Uncle Jim’s place to borrow his gun and then they paid a visit to Edward.’
I suddenly had an image of the elderly couple strolling down Small Dairy Lane while loading their weaponry. I stared at her. ‘Good god. Poor Edward.’
‘Poor Edward nothing. Most excitement that man’s had since Mavis Fletcher reversed her car into his bedroom.’ Yen finished the muffin, licked her fingers. ‘Besides, it was unavoidable; he had to be ruled out in order for us to move on.’
‘He actually proved to be the catalyst,’ said Petra to me. ‘See, he’d been hiding out because everyone made it clear he was the number-one suspect. So when Annie Oakley here turned up, he started bitching about the whole thing. Apparently he’d been getting nasty phone calls too. So she started regaling him with all the reasons why it had to be him, and that was when he said that Leon Chaucer had a lapel pin as well, that he’d seen him wearing it on his tie.’
‘Everything fell into place,’ said Yen, peering around for more abandoned food. She frowned, disappointed, and then fixed her eyes on me. ‘Although I have to say taking that pin from poor Berry was probably the stupidest thing you have done in your entire life. And that’s saying something. It never fails to amaze me that you get paid to give advice.’
‘This from the person who’s out on bail from shooting up the neighbourhood.’
‘At least I got results; all you managed was to nearly get yourself killed.’
‘Okay, okay.’ Petra put her hand up. ‘Long story short, Edward’s now being feted around town as a hero for supplying the missing piece so he’s as happy as Larry. Oh, and he’s also coming to dinner tomorrow night. Yen invited him.’
‘It’s the least I could do. Jim Hurley’s coming too. I’m cooking.’
‘Yay.’ I avoided looking at my daughters. ‘Okay, back to the story. What next?’
‘Well, as I said, when Edward said that about the pin, I knew immediately it was Leon because I’d rather suspected him in the first place.’
‘I never did,’ said Lucy. ‘He was so cute.’
Scarlet laughed. ‘That’s right. Because only the ugly ones kill.’
‘You so did not suspect him.’ I was still looking at Yen. ‘I think you thought it was Beth, and you were trying to protect her. You felt sorry for her. Plus you wouldn’t have encouraged me to go out for dinner with Leon that night if you thought he was involved.’
Petra was nodding. ‘And you rather enjoyed being a suspect yourself. Be honest.’
‘I’m not even going to dignify that with a response. Anyway, as soon as Edward said that about the pin, we hotfooted it around to Leon’s house and I knew as soon as he opened the door,’ said Yen, collecting some crumbs from the empty muffin bag. ‘Can somebody get me something to eat? They don’t feed you on the inside.’
‘I’ll go, Grandma,’ said Red. ‘Anyone else?’
Everybody started giving their orders, so the explanations had to cease while Red wrote a list, and then borrowed my credit card to pay for it. I closed my eyes for a second and opened them again as the noise quietened. I looked over at my mother expectantly. ‘How did you know?’
‘I’ve raised two daughters and assisted with five granddaughters. I can tell when somebody’s acting. They always lay it on that little bit thick.’
‘So she shot him in the leg,’ said Petra, grinning.
‘As I said, time was of the essence.’
‘Hang on.’ I readjusted myself against the pillow, being careful not to tug the IV tubing. ‘Tell me exactly what happened.’
Yen sighed. ‘I’ve already had to go through this over and over. I knocked on the door, he answered, and I said, “Where’s my daughter, you fucking troll?” And he said, “Why, Mrs Forrest, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” so I shot him in the thigh. It’s meaty there. Then we could hear the police sirens so we knew we had to step it up a notch.’
‘Step it up?’
‘Jim took the gun off me and clunked him on the head
but Jim can be a little heavy-handed so I got the gun back before he knocked him out. Then I pointed it just north of the thigh wound and Jim said, “You have three minutes to start singing, mate, otherwise the next one’ll make you a soprano.”’
‘What’s a soprano?’ asked Quinn.
‘He meant they were going to shoot his dick off,’ clarified Ruby helpfully.
‘So he sang,’ said Yen complacently. ‘Where’s that girl with my food?’
‘Mum, Dad says hi,’ said Lucy, reading from her phone. ‘And get well.’
I smiled slowly. ‘You can tell him thanks. Actually, you can tell him he kept me going.’
Lucy was now staring at me and I felt suddenly guilty for raising her hopes. Lucy had always been Daddy’s girl and she, out of all of them, had taken our separation the hardest.
‘He wants to come down for Christmas,’ said Ruby quietly. ‘Spend it with us.’
Yen snorted and then muttered something that included the word ‘gun’.
I saw the wineglass again, ruby-red lips against the rim. Like a fingerprint, with ridges and whorls. I blinked, breaking up the image, and realised I was being watched. ‘Tell him he’s more than welcome for Christmas dinner. Maybe he’d even like to have you lot around to wherever he’s staying for Boxing Day. But you’ll have to organise everything as it’s got nothing to do with me.’ I looked at each of them in turn. ‘He’s your father so he’s always welcome, but … that’s it.’
With perfect timing, Red came bustling back into the room with another cardboard tray laden with supplies. At this rate we would be paying for a new hospital wing just with our sustenance. Their father momentarily forgotten, her sisters dived forward to grab paper bags and coffee cups even as she tried to lower her burden. The tray tilted and now there were purchases toppling onto the table, with one blueberry muffin bursting free of its bag and being caught deftly by my mother. She began eating as her granddaughters bickered above her. I closed my eyes once more, letting their voices ebb and flow like the tide. They faded quickly, wonderfully. Of me, always, and yet apart.
