by Everly Frost
He flinches as if I crushed him. He recoils from me, sucking in a sharp breath, dropping my hand, and removing his arms.
The mask falls over his features again.
He takes slow steps away from me, one foot after the other, placing deliberate distance between us until he reaches the edge of the water. It laps at his boots, washing them clean with every swipe in the same way I want my past wiped clean.
My heart sinks as I witness the impact of my confession on him. It’s taken me far too long to realize that the trigger for his emotional shield is not anger—because he’s never been afraid to show rage—and it’s not the absence of emotions, it’s not coldness toward me.
It’s pain.
It’s why the Valkyrie power took hold of him so easily. It feeds on pain. He’s fighting it hard now. He closes his eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths until he’s calm again.
He’s remembering me that first day. Not as I am now.
His eyes flash open. “Trust goes both ways, Hunter. I can trust you all I want, but you have to trust me, too.”
My heart hurts. My chest burns. “I want to, but I can’t.”
I thought I could learn to trust him. For a long time, I told myself I did. I told Cain that I trusted Slade with my life. I insisted to William that giving Slade my feather was a risk I wouldn’t regret. But then Slade told me about his brother. He showed me that his greatest fear… is me.
What I have to admit is that he is my greatest fear, too. Loving him is the most dangerous thing I have ever done.
He is quiet now, resigned, shoulders slumped. “Why can’t you trust me, Hunter?”
No!
I clutch my stomach, trying to fight the answer—the whole terrible mess of it. I’m wired to respond to him no matter what. Whatever partial bond I have with him forces me to speak.
His head shoots up, eyes wide, but it’s too late for him to take it back.
The truth is a burning knife in my throat. “Because Mom bonded with Gareth and he killed her. He said he loved her, but he stepped over her dying body and stole the Keres feather from her.”
I gasp a painful breath. “He forced her to kill herself. All because she was trying to protect the Keres girl. She protected that girl instead of protecting me, instead of staying alive for me, and I’m angry at her because she betrayed my trust, too.”
I’m shaking but I can’t stop. “Now I have to tell you the truth and you’ll kill me just like Gareth killed Mom. No matter what I do. No matter what I want. So why not make it quick? Why not give you the ring so you can make it less painful for both of us when the time comes…”
I fight to breathe. Grip my stomach.
I double over. Hot tears stream down my cheeks.
I scream out the pain, emptying my lungs into the silence, my scream washing out with the waves.
He knows the truth now and so do I, all of it ripped out of me so that I have to face it.
I sob, “Please… please… don’t ask me any more questions.”
He is suddenly right in front of me, reaching out for me, pulling me upright, pressing me against his chest. He strokes my hair as our feet sink into the sand, calming movements as my head nestles into the crook of his neck and my tears drip against his throat.
I need to stop crying. I can’t lose control more than I already have. He’s okay now. He’s in control of his power. And this is when I have to fly away again…
He trails gentle kisses down the side of my face, drawing back to brush his thumb across my cheek, smoothing away my tears. I gasp as shivers race through me, tingling down my spine. His assassin’s ring rests against my cheekbone. It glows from the corner of my eye, soft silver like the highlights that have returned to Slade’s eyes.
The pull toward him is so strong. When he brushes his lips across my forehead, the burn in my back becomes agony. He has barely touched me but it’s enough to ignite the partial bond I formed with him.
His voice is a hoarse whisper. “You tried to talk to me after the Guardian was attacked and I wouldn’t let you because I was afraid of what I wanted. You told me once that you want me in your life. I want you in my life, too, Hunter.”
A shiver rocks me so hard that I shudder against him. I can’t allow myself to connect with him again, because if I do, it will shred me into tiny pieces when he pushes me away.
I can’t stop the moan of pain escaping my lips. I clamp my hand over my mouth to smother the sound.
He drops another kiss on the back of my hand where it rests against my mouth before coaxing my fingers away from my face.
“Stop fighting it, Hunter. I understand now why you were afraid. We pushed each other away before. I won’t let that happen again.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, fighting everything I want. “There are no halfway measures for me. I can’t turn this off again. It hurt too much the first time—”
My eyes fly open as his lips brush mine, the barest, tingling touch, a gentle question planted on my mouth.
He says, “You’re the reason I’m alive. You’re the reason I have a memory to cling to. And…” A slow smile lifts one corner of his mouth. “It’s not even my favorite one.”
My heart skips a beat. I shake my head at him. “You…”
I lean forward, my lips unbearably close to his. Our lower halves are still pushed together but I know he’ll let me go if I ask him to.
I press the lightest kiss against the corner of his mouth, sensing him shiver, before I whisper, “I need to tell you something.”
He nuzzles my cheek with his. “Hmm?”
“I love you, Slade Baines.”
I hold my breath, not sure of his reaction. He almost told me he loved me at the Fury’s cabin, but I have no reason to believe he will reciprocate now after everything that has happened. I have to accept that he might not. It’s his choice. The same way it’s my choice to say what I’m feeling now.
He is suddenly reserved. “Because you bonded to me.”
I pull back, gripping his shoulders. “No. That’s different.”
He thinks I love him because I’m compelled to. The same way I believed I was forced into bonding. “Mom bonded with Gareth, but she didn’t love him. That’s not the way it is for me with you.”
I sigh and press another kiss to his lips. “I… love you. Not because I have to. Not because I bonded with you. But because you’re my match and… I’ll be there for you whenever you need me.”
His gaze has softened. He is open to me, perhaps for the very first time.
His voice binds me to the spot. “I tried so hard, for so long, not to hurt you. But what I should have done… is love you.”
His lips curve into a smile. He doesn’t kiss me again. Instead, he separates us but holds out his hand to me. “Will you come with me? I want to give you something.”
I answer him by wrapping my fingers around his and following him from the beach.
Chapter Twenty-Four
We pass the tree line where the nature of our surroundings changes, the palm tree fronds spreading high above us to form a canopy that drops us into cool shadow. The ground beneath our feet transforms from sand to soft moss. The cool breeze wafts around us, ruffling the strands of my hair that have come loose. Up ahead, I make out the shape of a shaded wooden gazebo.
Slade adjusts the environment as we walk, as if he’s still perfecting it, creating new trees and a pathway and, as we approach, a curling vine that grows rapidly up the mahogany beams that form the gazebo.
Flowers spring to life along the vines, dripping down the structure’s sides in a rainbow of colors. Wild tulips sprout beside the path, mingling with lilacs, white lilies, daffodils, and orchards. He pauses to scoop up a bunch of gardenias, handing them to me before he stops further along the path in front of the structure.
The gazebo bursts with flowers and the scent in the air is… heavenly.
He stands uncertainly in front of the blooming structure, a killing machine surrounded by impossible b
eauty of his own creation. “This is for you.”
I press the gardenias to my lips, inhaling the wild scent. “I… Nobody has ever… This is…” Amazing. Beautiful. Kind.
He takes a deep breath. “The memory that shaped my life is a violent one. You grapple with nightmares, too. We are both assassins. Both Masters. I want to give you more than that.”
My heart swells. Is this what being loved feels like?
I swallow. “Can you make me new clothes? I don’t want to stand here in this.” Not with the blood of my enemies staining my assassin’s suit. Violence doesn’t belong in this place.
The corner of his mouth rises, a smile growing on his lips. “Sure, but you have to take those off first.”
I break into an answering smile, ready to do as he asks without any hesitation, but as soon as I tug on the suit, he turns his back to give me privacy.
I peel off the protective layer, bumps rising across my arms and legs in the cool breeze. Dropping the suit to the ground, I stand in my underwear the same as the day he first saw me.
He hears the material drop and turns around, but keeps his eyes closed. His features relax and his powerful arms rest at his sides.
I whisper, “Don’t you need to see me?”
He smiles with his eyes closed. “I remember everything about you.”
A shiver runs through me as a swath of delicate white material appears in the air, gliding in the breeze to layer itself across my shoulders and torso. It falls in a caress across my hips and outer thighs, shifting and conforming to my shape, the lightest whisper against my skin. I gasp as a ripple runs through the material down my spine, as if he ran both his hands from my shoulders to my hips. My breathing quickens, but he continues to concentrate, shaping the dress around me.
A sash winds carefully around my waist, trailing in a motion that reminds me of his fingertips stroking my stomach until it settles into place. Then the edges of material tuck in around my torso to form a bodice, the lightest brush of material across my collarbone and between my breasts sending shivers to my toes.
I check his expression but he’s doing it again… that thing where he doesn’t realize he’s touching me while he works. He is fully immersed in his task.
The dress lengthens around my legs, the folds brushing my knees and calves. Still, he’s not done. Gauzy material takes the shape of white lilies, appearing one by one across the sash at my waist and down my left leg. They form with excruciating care one at a time, each one pressed momentarily against the sensitive skin of my stomach, then my lower hip bone, my upper thigh and then just a little too close to...
I gasp.
He freezes, his shoulders tensing as if he came back to himself. “Sorry.”
What is there to be sorry about? I’m thrumming. Tremors and tingles scatter across my body where the silken material whispers in the breeze as if he’s running his fingertips through every fold. “Slade?”
“Yes?”
“Open your eyes.”
He does as I ask, standing quietly for a moment, drinking me in before he says, “But I’m not finished.”
He runs his hand downward in the air and flowers appear in a wash all the way to the base of the dress, the sensation of that many forming at once leaving me gasping.
He holds out his hand again with a satisfied smile. “Will you walk with me, Hunter? I want to show you everything.”
I close the gap, curling my palm around his big hand and pulling his arm around my waist, crushing the silken flowers between us. “There will be no walking.”
I press my lips against his, sensing his indrawn breath before he claims my lips and kisses me back with a ferocity of his own.
His movements while he created the dress might have been unconscious but now every move he makes is aware and deliberate. A fire ignites between us as he runs his hands into my hair, tugging it free to flow down my back. His hands mimic what I felt when he dressed me, running from my shoulder blades to my hips, his thumbs grazing across my sensitive curves, rising to rest around my ribs while he continues to kiss me. He lifts me off my feet, dropping kisses on every inch of my face as he walks us off the path into the wildflowers. A thick bed of petals form across the ground and he carefully lowers us into a kneeling position onto them, our bodies pressed together.
I tip my head back as he kisses my neck and nuzzles my ear. The flowers are soft beneath my knees, the dress a gauzy pool floating across the ground. It has no clasps, no way to remove it.
I pull back with a hopeful smile, but only for a moment before I kiss him again, drawing breath to whisper, “Dress?”
He smiles against my lips. “I created it. I can remove it.”
A delicious shiver runs through me but he immediately becomes serious, his palms pausing against my back. Even that pressure is unbearable, igniting my need for more.
He growls, “But I’m not sure I want to. I didn’t create this place so I could be with you. I made it for you. As a gift.”
I press my cheek against his, soaking in all the hard lines of his face as well as his perfectly sculpted chest beneath my hands, sensing his pounding heart.
He says, “Also, I didn’t come prepared.”
I smother a smile. “No surprises in your boot?”
He shakes his head.
I say, “Then you should know that diseases don’t survive in our bodies. Valkyrie don’t get sick. And… since I can’t lie to you, I want you to know that I’ve taken measures to make sure there are no unexpected bundles of joy either.”
My cheeks flame. Talking about contraception is harder than I expected. Somehow harder than telling him I love him.
All of this seems to be a revelation to him. “So… all those times I stayed away from you…” He brushes his smiling lips against mine, before he becomes serious again. “I’m not sorry we waited so long. And I won’t be sorry to wait again.”
I wrap my arms around him in a fierce hug. “I love this place. It’s the most beautiful gift anyone has ever given me.” I meet his eyes, just as serious as he is. “I can’t think of anything I want to do more than be with you here.”
I press my lips to his. Whatever reservations he had, however much he was holding back, his guard disappears, the intensity of his kiss leaving me breathless. I respond with a need of my own, tugging at his protective suit. His strength and power have called to me ever since I returned to Boston. Staying away from him is torture. Waiting for him to let me into his life has been torture.
We’re still kneeling on the flowers, a perfumed cushion beneath my knees. I peel the protective suit off his arms and torso, but I force myself to take it slow, keeping my breathing even, leaving the suit pooled at his waist so I can explore his chest and shoulders, the muscles in his forearms and biceps. All the way to his fingertips and the callouses on his palms, which I kiss one by one. I inhale the scent of his skin, dropping kisses along the curve of his neck, tracing his jaw to his lips.
He shivers.
I pause, my lips so close to his.
I raise my eyes, discovering that I am his sole focus, his gaze pinpoint. His lips part as if he’s about to speak, but then he smiles instead and sweeps us upward to our feet, peeling the suit all the way off. My underwear follows, his fingertips grazing my legs. He leaves the dress where it is, taking his time kissing me everywhere through the diaphanous material, his lips whispering across my skin until I’m burning.
I arch against him, needing the material off. He gives me another smile that sends my heart into overdrive as the sash around my waist slides across my skin, unwinding, but this time he follows it with his fingertips, the lightest touches. The bodice gently splits at the sides, leaving my breasts covered, but parting to allow him to kiss and stroke the curve at the top of my hips. One shoulder strap finally separates beneath his touch, the material falling as he follows the curves of my body all the way to my waist. As soon as the next one falls, I press my naked chest against his, needing more.
I whisp
er against his lips, “Slade?”
“Hmm?”
He is still so much in control, taking our movements one moment at a time, but I’m already lost.
I can’t voice my thoughts—that I need him, want him, not just like this, but in my life. I kiss him instead, drawing my hands through his hair the same way he tangles his fingers in mine. My hands descend to his shoulders, his shoulder blades, and the places on either side of his back where his wings can emerge.
I taste his sudden inhale, the charge that runs through him, as if my power touched his. I draw back to meet his eyes, exhaling quietly, challenging his control before I kiss him again. He groans against my mouth and the dress finally separates as he deftly lowers us to the ground. He positions my legs around him so I’m straddling his hips, but he remains sitting, his chest pressed against mine.
Our bodies swiftly join.
He holds my gaze as I spiral, my heart barely in one piece.
Silver highlights glow in his eyes, his power reaching out to me, our strength matched as we move together.
I gasp against the force rising inside me, responding to both his human and Valkyrie sides.
He’s breathing rapidly but controlling it, his hands flexing against my back. The silver lights in his eyes grow brighter. The environment around us shivers, a ripple flowing through the flowers, transforming the rainbow of colors into silvery white, as if we’re sitting on a bed made of a million stars.
My back burns. So badly. My wings won’t release. I know that now. But knowing and feeling are two different things. I arch against him, drowning in the need to bond, to give all of myself to him, trying to anchor myself somehow.
He senses my need and places both his hands over mine, planting my palms firmly against his chest, one covering his pounding heart.
His eyes meet mine. He inhales. Closes his eyes. Gives over control of our movements to me, letting me take charge. As soon as I move against him, a glimmer grows around his shoulders, stronger than the light in his eyes, taking shape as the force between us becomes unbearable.
He exhales.
I sense a force ripple through him and then…
