by Chris Colfer
“I suppose,” Conner said, but his defeated look said otherwise. “What makes you think I’ll be a good writer? My stories are so simple compared to other ones out there. And I don’t have a very good vocabulary—and I’m worthless without spell-check.”
Mrs. Peters took off her glasses and massaged her eyes. Conner was still a challenging student to get through to.
“Having something worth telling and a passion to tell it are what make you a good writer,” Mrs. Peters said. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read novels or articles that used complicated words and witty wordplay to cover up the fact that they had absolutely no story to tell. A good story should be enjoyed; sometimes simplicity can go a long way.”
Conner still wasn’t sold on the idea. “I just don’t know if it’s for me.”
“You don’t have to decide right now,” Mrs. Peters said. “I’m only asking you to think about it. I would hate it if somebody with your imagination graduated and didn’t do ‘something cool’ with it.”
She locked eyes with him and another rare, small smile appeared on her face.
“I have two loves in my career: reprimanding and encouraging,” Mrs. Peters went on. “Thank you for letting me encourage today. I don’t get many opportunities.”
“No problem,” Conner said. “It’s nice to be in the other category for a change.”
Mrs. Peters put her glasses back on and handed Conner his stack of papers. He figured their meeting was over now and headed to the door, relieved not to be in tears like his principal’s prior guest.
“I am so proud of you, Conner,” Mrs. Peters said just as he reached for the door handle. “You’ve come a long way from napping in my class.”
All Conner could do was smirk sweetly at her. If you had told him a year and a half ago that one day Mrs. Peters would become one of his greatest supporters (or refer to him by his first name), he would have never believed it.
Conner mulled things over as he walked home. His thoughts soared into the realm of possibilities and sank into the realm of uncertainty. Had Mrs. Peters gone mad or was he, Conner Bailey, actually capable of becoming a writer one day? Could he actually make a career out of writing about the experiences he and his sister had had in the fairy-tale world?
Would anyone want to read his stories about Trollbella and Trix, or the Evil Queen and the Big Bad Wolf Pack, or Jack and Goldilocks? Would those people mind if he wrote about them? If he ever saw her again, would Goldilocks beat the living daylights out of him for writing about the love triangle between her, Jack, and Red Riding Hood?
Conner figured people had been writing the same stories about them for centuries; surely they wouldn’t mind if he gave the world little updates here and there.
But what about Alex? She had as much ownership over their experiences as he did; would it bother her if he started sharing them with the world?
Alex had always been the one with a future, not him. Planning had always been her specialty; Conner always expected she would grow up to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or president. Unfortunately, he hadn’t given his own future very much thought, so any prospect seemed like a stretch.
Conner realized he wanted to get Alex’s input on all of this. But as he reached their house, he came to a halt. There was something there he didn’t expect to see.
“What’s Bob doing here?” Conner asked himself, recognizing the car parked outside their home.
The front door flew open before Conner could open it himself. Alex was standing on the other side, wide-eyed and white-faced.
“Finally!” she said in relief.
“What’s going on?” Conner asked. “Why is Bob here?”
“He wanted to talk to us before Mom got home,” Alex said. “He knows that we know and said he wanted to ask us something. I’m pretty sure I know what it is.”
“What?” Conner asked, completely oblivious.
“Just get inside,” Alex told him. “I think there’s about to be a major development.”
CHAPTER FIVE
THE PROPOSAL
Alex and Conner hadn’t looked like identical twins since they were four years old. It was around that age when Charlotte stopped dressing them in the same outfits every day and they started growing into their own unique features. But as they sat on the couch both staring daggers at Bob with their arms crossed, it was once again hard to tell them apart.
“So…” Bob said and shifted uncomfortably in a chair across from them. “Your mom said she finally spilled the beans about us.”
It was brave of him to take the situation by the horns.
“She sure did,” Conner said.
Bob nodded pleasantly, like it was good news. The twins didn’t even blink—they were an intimidating pair.
“I apologize that those flowers came to the house. They were supposed to have gone to the hospital,” Bob said.
“Yes, they should have,” Alex said. Bob had done thousands of difficult surgeries over the course of his career, but he found being stared down by the children of the woman he was dating to be the most stressful experience of his life.
“I understand why this is difficult information to process,” Bob said. “But it’s still me, guys. I’m still the same Dr. Bob who you’ve had dinner with a dozen times. I’m the same guy who takes you to see the movies your mom doesn’t want to see. I’m still the same guy who brought you Buster. I just happen to be—”
“Dating our mother?” Conner asked. “Nice try, but everything you listed makes the situation worse. We thought we knew you.”
“Are you admitting that Buster was some sort of dowry, Bob?” Alex asked.
“Alex, what’s a dowry?” Conner said out of the side of his mouth, not breaking his stare at Bob.
“It’s a settlement of sorts,” Alex said. “Like, in ancient times, a man would be promised a dozen camels or something in exchange for his daughter’s hand in marriage.”
“Gotcha,” Conner said, diverting his full attention back to Bob. “You don’t think our mother is worth a dozen camels, Bob? One dog and you think the deal is sealed?”
“I definitely don’t think the deal is sealed,” Bob said. “Yet.”
Alex and Conner narrowed their eyes in perfect unison. Bob reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. The twins wondered what it was for a second, but only a second. Once they realized it was too small to hold anything but a ring, it dawned on them what it meant.
“Oh my God,” Alex said.
“No way,” Conner said.
Bob looked down at the box with a smile. “You know, when my wife died four years ago, I never thought I would be happy again,” he said. “I save lives every day, but for a long time I thought it would be impossible to save mine. And then along came your mom, and I learned I had been wrong.”
Alex and Conner looked at each other out of the corners of their eyes. They had never seen Bob get so sappy, but still they appreciated how honest he was being with them.
“I know you’ve been seeing each other for a while, but this all seems so sudden,” Alex said.
“We only found out last night,” Conner said. “In our minds you guys have only been dating for one day. Are you sure you aren’t rushing things?”
The way he looked down at the ring, with loving eyes and a heartfelt smile, made it obvious that Bob had never been so sure about something in his life.
“I’ve been around for a while, guys. And I’ve learned that things like this don’t come around very often,” Bob said. “Not taking this opportunity to ask your mother to be with me for the rest of my life would make me the biggest fool in the world.”
Bob opened the box and showed the twins the ring. Alex gasped. It was the most beautiful ring they had ever seen. It had a silver band with two large diamonds, one blue and the other pink. They could have sworn they heard music playing while it twinkled in the light, but it was just in their heads.
“It took me a month to find the perfect one,” Bob said. �
��I knew this was right as soon as I saw it. I thought the diamonds would remind her of you two; they’re different shades of the same cut.”
Alex’s eyes immediately watered after hearing this. Conner folded his arms a little tighter.
“That’s the most touching thing I’ve ever heard,” Alex said between sniffles.
“Stop making me like you again,” Conner said, brow furrowed.
Bob sat up straighter, happy their meeting was moving in a better direction. “I’m not trying to replace your dad and I’m not asking to be your new one,” he said. “But I am asking for your permission to ask your mother to marry me. I don’t want to do this without your blessing.”
The twins couldn’t believe it. They both felt like they were passengers on this ship, and now he was letting them be its captains?
“We need a minute to think it over,” Conner answered quickly.
Before Alex knew it, her brother was dragging her into the kitchen. They stood there for a few moments in total silence, just staring at each other.
“What are you thinking?” Alex asked.
“I’m thinking this is uncomfortable,” Conner said. “This is more uncomfortable than the time I walked in on you and Mom talking about training bras.”
Alex rolled her eyes and peeked into the other room at Bob, making sure he couldn’t hear them. “Honestly, Conner, I don’t think we have any power over this. It was really nice of Bob to act like we’re a part of the decision, but you just heard what he had to say and you heard what Mom said last night. I don’t think anything is going to stop them from being together.”
Conner sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“You’re right,” Conner said. “But who knows if Mom is even going to say yes? Maybe she’ll have reservations about it?”
“Reservations about what?” Alex asked. “She loves him and he loves her. What’s going to stop her?”
Conner looked away from her, not wanting to say what he was thinking, but they were both thinking it.
“Dad’s dead, Conner,” Alex said. “He’s not coming back no matter how much we want him to.”
It was hard for Alex to be so frank. Usually she let the adults in her life dish out the tough love, but since they were slowly disappearing, she had no choice but to serve it up herself.
Conner knew she was speaking to herself as much as she was speaking to him. Alex had a talent for saying everything he didn’t want to think.
“I suppose Mom has given us so much over the years, our blessing is the very least we could give her,” Conner said.
“Yeah, it is,” Alex said and nodded. “This is another big one.”
“Another big what?” Conner asked.
“A big moment,” Alex said and sighed. “We’ve had a lot of them.”
“Yeah, we have,” he said. “You’d think we’d be immune to it by now.”
“Immune to life?” Alex asked. “Is anyone ever that lucky?”
Conner grunted and put his hands on his hips. “Fine,” he said. “He can marry Mom, but I’m still calling him Dr. Bob.”
The twins returned to the other room. Bob anxiously stood and faced them.
“Well?” he asked with bated breath.
“The jury has spoken,” Conner said. “Alex and I have decided you may ask our mom to marry you.”
Bob joyfully clapped his hands together and tears came to his eyes. “Guys, you’ve made me the happiest man alive!” Bob said. “Thank you! I promise to take care of her for the rest of her life!”
Buster barked and jumped up and down, joining in on the celebration.
“Where are you going to do it?” Alex asked him.
“How about here, over dinner maybe?” Bob said. “I’ll order food from her favorite restaurant and surprise her when she gets off work.”
“When?” Conner asked.
“The sooner the better,” Bob said. “I’m free next Thursday night. How about then?”
“I have class in the afternoon but I’ll be home by six,” Alex said.
“Great, then it’s settled!” Bob said. “I’ll propose next week on Thursday night at six o’clock! I’ll ask a few of the nurses to keep your mom busy so she doesn’t get home early and ruin the surprise. This is going to be terrific!”
The twins were looking forward to it. Not the event itself, but a chance to see their mom happy again.
“Hey, Bob,” Conner said, “are you going to move in with us? Usually married people like to live with each other—for the first couple months at least.”
“That’s a good question,” Alex said. “Where are we going to live?”
“My house?” Bob said and shrugged his shoulders. “Before she died, my wife and I bought a big house not too far from here, thinking we were going to raise a family. It’d be nice to finally fill all those rooms up.”
The twins looked around their small rental house. The thought of leaving it made them feel sad; it had unexpectedly become home over the years.
“It’ll be weird to move again,” Alex said. “But easy since we never actually finished unpacking last time.”
“I’ve got a swimming pool,” Bob said, trying to cheer up the twins.
Conner’s eyes grew big. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he said. “Bob, you could have saved yourself an entire afternoon if you had just started with ‘swimming pool.’ ”
Alex rolled her eyes. Bob let out a soft chuckle.
“Now Mom better say yes or I’m going to be so disappointed,” Conner said.
It was hard for the twins to focus on anything the following week. The looming Thursday stood out like a bookmarked page in their future. The closer it got, the more anxious they became.
Alex and Conner didn’t know why they were so nervous; after all, they weren’t asking anyone to marry them. But in a strange way, Bob was marrying them, too. And as apprehensive about it as they were, the twins started to feel excited about Bob joining their family.
Conner was really looking forward to having another man around the house. As much as he loved his mom and sister, he missed having someone else there who appreciated the comedy in a bodily function.
He wrote a short story in his English class that week about a family of trolls whose mother was engaged to an ogre. It wasn’t the most flattering depiction of any of them, but it was quite therapeutic for him. He drew little sketches in the margins of his paper; the troll children looked very much like him and his sister. The one based on Alex even had a headband in front of her horns.
Alex found Conner working on the story one afternoon after school. She had never seen him look so devoted to something before.
“What’s this?” Alex asked him.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Conner said, a little embarrassed. He still hadn’t talked to her about his meeting with Mrs. Peters. “It’s just some creative writing for English.”
“That’s nice—wait, is that supposed to be me?” Alex said and pointed to his sketch.
“Not at all,” Conner said. “What would make you think that?”
“Because it says ‘supposed to be Alex’ underneath it!” she said, annoyed and offended. “That’s so rude, Conner. How old are you?”
Conner guiltily looked up at his sister. “There’s something I forgot to tell you,” he said. “I’ve sort of been writing about the two of us a lot in my English class.”
“What do you mean?” Alex asked.
“About our adventures in the fairy-tale world,” he said. “They’ve made for some great stories—that’s why Mrs. Peters called me into her office the other day. She really liked them and wanted me to consider being a writer. She said I may have what it takes, whatever that is.” He paused. “Thoughts or concerns?”
Alex blinked twice. “I think that’s a wonderful idea!” she said, and Conner sighed with relief. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I was worried you wouldn’t want me spreading our business around,” Conner said. “You’re kind of the co-owner o
f our experiences.”
“On the contrary,” she said. “I think they should be told. We saw so many things and met so many people it would be a waste to keep them to ourselves. Dad would be so proud of you.”
Conner smiled to himself. He hadn’t thought about that.
“Really?” he asked. “You think so?”
“Absolutely,” Alex said. “He’d be so happy the storyteller gene went to one of us. I’ve always tried telling and retelling stories, but you’re so much better at it than me. You’re funny; people like listening to you.”
Conner shrugged. “Aw, shucks,” he said. “But I’m not going to argue.” He pulled out the stack of his stories to share with her. “This one is about Trix’s trial and this one is about Trollbella giving freedom in exchange for a kiss—wish I could forget about that. This was my first one, about the Curvy Tree, but I was super paranoid people would find out it was true so I changed it to the Curvy Giraffe. It doesn’t make as much sense, but oh well, I’m learning.”
“This is great, Conner,” Alex said. “Really great.”
Conner grinned from ear to ear. He believed her much more than he believed Mrs. Peters. Her approval gave him the validation he needed to believe in himself.
Alex flipped through her brother’s stories. She smiled and laughed as she scanned through them, remembering the events they were based on.
“Oh dear,” Alex said, looking up from the papers, a fresh thought behind her eyes. “Bob. Are we going to tell him? Are we going to tell him who Grandma and Dad really are?”
Conner couldn’t answer. The thought hadn’t crossed either of their minds until now. How were they going to share their family’s biggest secret with him?
“Should we tell him?” Conner asked.
“We probably should in case Grandma ever shows up with an elf or a fairy on our doorstep,” Alex said.
Conner looked off into the distance. “Gosh, who are we?” he said. “What other family has a problem like this? Most skeletons in the closet don’t have wings.”
“I imagine he’ll have a lot of questions either way,” Alex said. She let out a long sigh. “But it’s not like it’s really relevant anymore. It may be pointless to tell him we have ties to another dimension if we don’t get to interact with it ever again.”
