by Della Galton
‘I don’t know. Maybe going out on a boat. He likes boats. Although he did seem to be looking for something. He can’t have been looking for us – he didn’t know we were there.’
‘Are you sure?’ Ruby said slowly. ‘Had you told anyone you were going diving today?’
‘No.’ Something was flickering in the back of Olivia’s mind. ‘Actually yes, I did. I put it on Facebook the other day when I was updating my business page. I was sharing a link to a cake that one of my colleagues had just won a prize for. It was in the shape of a diver swimming over a rock, it was gorgeous, and I mentioned when I shared the post that I was going diving on Sunday.’
‘He might have seen that. Is he still on your Facebook page? Maybe you should unfriend him?’
‘I have unfriended him. But my business page is public so anyone can look at it. Crap. He must have seen that. I even mentioned the name of the boat. The devious little so-and-so.’
‘Yeah. And I bet it wasn’t an accident that he and Caroline turned up at the Rose and Crown either. He’s been stalking you.’
Olivia felt cold. Could that be true?
‘I need to speak to him and put him straight,’ she said. ‘What he did this morning was completely out of order.’
‘He’s never been able to take no for an answer, though, has he?’ Ruby’s voice was indignant. ‘Actually, Liv, and I know this is probably a totally un-PC thing to say, but it is quite something that you’ve got two guys fighting over you. I don’t think anyone’s ever cared about me enough to bother fighting over me.’
‘They’re not fighting,’ Olivia pointed out. ‘Tom isn’t the fighting kind – he’s just devious – and Phil is far too gallant. Although he did tell me that he’s come close to having a punch-up with Mr B. He once chased him all round The Bluebell Cliff Hotel dining room with a steel frying pan.’
‘I can imagine him doing that,’ Ruby said with a thread of glee in her voice. ‘Putting up with crap is probably in his job description, but I bet he’s the type who you could only push so far and then one day he’d suddenly explode. An exploding doormat, Aunt Dawn used to call that. Do you remember?’
‘Yes, I do.’ Olivia sighed. ‘Thanks for helping me get it in perspective. I’ll speak to Phil in a bit. And I’ll put an end to Tom’s fantasies too. How are you and bump?’ she asked.
‘We’re good.’ Ruby’s voice filled up with tenderness. ‘I don’t know how I could ever have thought of giving bump up.’ She paused. ‘Bump is a boy by the way. I found out on Friday.’
‘Oh my God. Why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t even know you were going for your scan.’
‘I didn’t want a drama. Just in case anything was wrong. You’re the first person I’ve told, as it happens.’ Ruby sounded pleased with herself and slightly vulnerable. ‘This is going to sound totally mad, but I feel as though this is mostly about me and bump – we’re making this journey together – and everyone else is slightly outside of it in wider and wider concentric circles, like when you drop a pebble into a lake. Obviously, you’re in a very close circle – the closest.’ She paused. ‘Does that make any sense?’
‘Yes. Perfect sense. I think I’d be like that too. And you haven’t had any more interaction with the…’ Olivia chose her words carefully, ‘… sperm donor.’
‘Nope. Although I did do some digging after what you told me about his wife. He’s quite a wealthy guy. Or he was before his wife took him to the cleaners. According to my source – who’s someone in the business – he’s got a nice little nest egg stashed away in a secret art collection that she doesn’t know about. He apparently has plans to sell it and buy himself another house. When his divorce has gone through, I’m going to instruct my solicitor to make a claim.’
‘How on earth did you find out?’ Olivia asked, catching her breath.
‘Careless talk,’ Ruby replied. ‘It’s still quite unusual for women to be dealers and some of the old-school guys treat me as if I’m invisible, so they let things slip that they wouldn’t dream of saying in front of their male contemporaries.’ She sighed. ‘I’ve ended up with a few good deals because of that. I’m not a fan of sexism in the workplace obviously, but sometimes it works in our favour.’
‘I’m really pleased. He should be contributing. Keep me posted and on you and Mr Bump.’
‘I will.’
‘I’d better go, Ruby. I need to make some phone calls.’
‘Good luck, sis. Keep me posted too.’
Olivia then called Tom. Frustratingly, there was no answer. Now he’d got her attention, he’d clearly decided to ignore her. Fleetingly, she contemplated phoning Phil now too, but she wanted to speak to Tom first. So that she would have something to tell him. And she also agreed with Ruby – letting the dust settle was a good idea. She definitely had a point about men’s egos. They both needed to be feeling calm.
Reluctant to waste the rest of the day, which was still gorgeously sunny and warm, she decided to visit Aunt Dawn.
She didn’t phone in advance. Aunt Dawn would hopefully be in and if she wasn’t, she’d leave her a note. She walked over and went round to the back of the shop. On a sunny day like this, her aunt would most likely be outside pottering in her garden and keeping an eye on her chickens.
Olivia was about to open the back gate when she heard voices on the other side. Aunt Dawn’s laughter and the deeper voice of a man. How curious. She hesitated, in two minds whether to go in. She didn’t want to interrupt something private.
That was ridiculous though. It was probably just someone her aunt knew from the shop.
It would have felt odd knocking on a solid wooden back gate, so Olivia made a bit of a thing about rattling the latch as she opened it so that the people on the other side would be in no doubt they were about to be interrupted. Then she cleared her throat and went in.
She was greeted by the sight of Aunt Dawn and a man, who looked vaguely familiar, sitting at the wrought-iron table where she and her aunt so often had lunch or an evening snack. There was a half-drunk bottle of wine on the table and there was a hen having a dust bath in a nearby flower bed.
The couple both looked up and Aunt Dawn half rose. ‘Hello, darling, I didn’t know you were coming. Did I?’ Two blotches of pink glowed on her cheeks. ‘I haven’t forgotten an arrangement, have I?’
‘No, no, you haven’t. I was just passing. Total impulse. I don’t want to interrupt or anything.’ She knew she was gabbling and she wondered whether she should suggest leaving again, but her aunt was smiling.
‘Well, it’s lovely to see you. I think you’ve met Mike Turner, haven’t you?’
The man was standing up now too. ‘We met in my practice when I treated Emmeline. It’s good to see you again. Olivia?’ His eyes warmed and she had the same impression she’d had the last time they’d met. He looked a bit like her old science teacher, grey-haired and rangy, with a slight air of eccentricity, but there was something very warm and laid-back about him too.
Mike pulled out another chair at the table for Olivia to sit on and there was a tiny silence as they all adjusted to it being three of them.
Then her aunt said, ‘We were just enjoying the sunshine. Would you like a glass of wine, darling?’
Olivia was about to refuse – maybe it would, after all, be better to go, but Mike was nodding.
‘Yes, please stay. Your aunt has told me so much about you.’
‘Has she?’ Olivia glanced at her.
She was nodding. ‘Mike has been wonderful with my girls since the fox attack. He’s gone well beyond the call of duty and all finally seems to be well, so we are tentatively celebrating.’ She made a clicking sound with her mouth and addressed the hen that was having a dust bath. ‘Isn’t that right, Clementine?’
The chicken fluffed out her feathers, shifting slightly in a little flurry of dust before settling again with a contented clucking. She looked serene.
‘I keep meaning to ask you who she was named after?’ Mike said. ‘I c
an’t think of a famous Clementine.’
‘Clementine Churchill. Winston’s wife.’ Aunt Dawn’s eyes were bright with amusement. ‘I mean, everyone knows it was Clementine who really ran the country, do they not?’
This started a discussion about famous men and their wives, and Olivia felt all of the tension and churning thoughts that had been in her head when she’d arrived, slowly dissipate beneath the sunshine and good humour. It was as though they had carved out a slice of peace and easiness, quite separate from the rest of the world. The secret garden had always affected her like that. But today it was more so than ever.
Neither Mike Turner nor her aunt were drinking very much – she guessed he was driving – but they seemed to be totally comfortable with each other. It was lovely. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her aunt so at ease. She found herself hoping that this was more than just a celebration drink.
29
In the end, Olivia didn’t leave until just before 6 p.m. Mike was making going-home noises and she wanted to give him and her aunt some privacy, seeing as she’d basically gatecrashed their party. There had also been two missed calls on her phone from Tom and she wanted to call him and put him straight. She didn’t want to be rude to him, but neither did she want to leave him in the slightest doubt that he was deluding himself about them getting back together. It was never going to happen. They were history. She needed to spell it out in a way that Tom would understand, which meant she needed to be blunt and firm, and probably repeat herself a few times.
Then she needed to speak to Phil and she had a feeling that this was going to be the trickier of the two conversations. She thought that Ruby had probably been right about his ego. Phil wasn’t arrogant, but he was proud. And if he’d believed, even for a fleeting moment, that there was any truth in what Tom had said…? Blimey, no wonder he’d been so quiet on the boat. It put a very different perspective on everything that happened afterwards too. Anyone would have found it hard to concentrate after having that kind of poison dripped into their ear. Then when he’d asked her about it in the car – asked her if it was true that she’d seen the house and she said she had – Phil had probably assumed she’d meant physically ‘seen’ it. She hadn’t told him it had just been a random text she hadn’t even answered.
Even the most confident of guys – and Phil was pretty self-confident – would have been rattled by Tom’s announcement that Olivia was planning to leave him. After everything that had gone on between them lately, at the very least, Tom would have planted the seeds of doubt. No wonder he was pissed off. She knew that if their positions had been reversed and Phil was being pursued by an ex-girlfriend hell-bent on getting him back, she’d have been pretty pissed off too.
She needed to speak to Phil sooner rather than later, and apologise. She was thinking about all of this when she put her key in the door of number five. It had barely closed behind her when the doorbell rang.
Her heart jumped and she opened it immediately, sure it would be Phil saying he’d regretted the way they’d parted too. It threw her completely to see Tom. He was wearing his hitman’s coat and he smelled of expensive aftershave.
‘Sorry I missed your call.’ He was smiling. Confident. Sure of himself. One foot already over the threshold.
‘Er yes. Tom. All I wanted was—’
He interrupted. ‘Let’s not talk out here. It’s too public.’ As he spoke, a couple brushed past on the walkway immediately behind him, both chatting animatedly on their phones.
Olivia let him in. It would be easier that way. She wasn’t so insensitive that she would tell him on the doorstep to leave her alone. She could at least do this with integrity. But she would be firm. Before he had a chance to misconstrue anything else. Or cause any more trouble.
He followed her into the kitchen where she immediately took him to task.
‘Phil told me what you said to him this morning. You were totally out of order.’
‘I know. I’m sorry. I was just surprised to see you both there. It was a shock.’ He went on smoothly. ‘I reacted badly. Hands up. But I love you, Olivia. You know that and…’ He pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat on it.
‘Tom. I don’t feel the same about you any more. I don’t want to be with you.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes, I’d like to know the answer to that question too. After all, you did let him in.’ Olivia realised with a slow-growing shock that Phil was in the kitchen doorway; the front door clearly hadn’t closed properly behind Tom. He must have been in the car park, maybe he’d been waiting for her. Maybe they both had. What spectacularly bad timing.
‘Phil!’
Tom spun round in his chair. ‘Ah, the rebound boyfriend. Always so tricky. But face facts, mate. It’s me she wants. We’d still be together if—’
This time, it was Olivia who cut across him. ‘Tom, that’s not true. You’re wrong. We would not be together. You’re utterly deluded. And I want you to get out of my house.’ She could feel her voice shaking with rage.
For the first time, her ex looked unsure of himself.
‘Livvie…’ Using her old pet name, he held out a hand. ‘You know we’re—’
‘Get OUT, I said.’ She didn’t know where the rage was coming from, but it was there, boiling up in her. Pulsing in her head as though someone had unscrewed the tap on a lifetime of bottled-up anger and let it all out at the same time. It felt powerful. As though she could propel him out of her house by the sheer force of her anger.
Tom knew it too. He was on his feet now and he opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again and backed away from her, hands held out in front of him. ‘All right. I’m going.’
He was out of the door and heading away before she could say anything else. And then she realised that Phil was gone too.
Olivia stood on the walkway, scanning the car park. She couldn’t see his car. How had he gone so quickly? He’d been there one second and then gone the next. It was impossible.
She wiped her eyes, realising they were blurry with tears. Did rage make you cry? All of the emotions of today seemed to have got mixed up in some great cauldron, stirred with a stick of dynamite. She wouldn’t have been surprised to hear herself hysterically screaming. And she was not the hysterical kind.
She strode across the walkway into the car park. Phil’s car was there, after all. It was in the far corner, obscured by a black van, but she could see it now. She hurried across. She had to put this right. But as she got closer, she could see he wasn’t in it.
Where else would he have gone? Wheeling round again, she saw him, coming back up the walkway, his hands in his pockets, in short, controlled steps.
Not caring any more about appearances, she raced across to him. ‘Phil. Would you please give me a chance to tell you my side of the story.’ The please came out as a command, not a plea.
He halted, standing in front of her, and she put her hands lightly on his forearms and looked into his eyes, which were black and unreadable.
She took a deep breath. ‘I owe you an apology. I should have told you Tom had been in touch again and I didn’t. But that was not because I was contemplating going back to him. He sent me a text about the house. I didn’t even answer it, Phil. It was over between us a long time ago.’ She paused and said the next words more slowly. ‘It’s been you, Phil. From the moment we met, it’s only ever been you. I know we said in the beginning that we’d keep things light. Have some fun. But as I said when we were up on Ballard Down, my feelings have got deeper. I was too scared to tell you how I felt. Then today I was terrified I might lose you before I ever got the chance to tell you I love you. And today’s made me realise that life’s too short for messing about. So, I’m telling you now. I love you. Even if you don’t love me. That is the score.’
She paused, searching his eyes for a reaction because he still hadn’t spoken.
‘Say something,’ she demanded. ‘Even if it’s a no thanks, I’m off. See you around.
’
‘I will,’ he said. ‘If I can get a word in edgeways.’
She raised her eyebrows. Wow, it was amazing, all this anger. It was like having a superpower.
‘I owe you an apology too,’ he began. ‘I’ve behaved like a sulky child today. You saved my life this morning and all I could do was stress about being a muppet. And messing things up. And yes, your ex didn’t help turning up and having a pop, but I let my ego get in the way, Olivia, and for that I’m sorry.’
She opened her mouth to speak.
‘Hang on,’ he said. ‘Let me get this out. You don’t have the monopoly on being scared. I was pretty damn scared this morning getting my foot stuck in that pile of rusting metal.’ She felt him shudder. ‘But I’m more scared of losing you. When you said you wanted kids – which I knew, Olivia. I’ve always known that – I tried to back off a bit. Because I thought when you found out I’d have trouble on that front, it would be the end of us. That’s why I’ve been so off lately. Your ex just added fuel to the fire. But the truth is I love you too. I’ve loved you since the first time I heard you say, “Good Hamlet, cast thy nighted colour off and let thine eye look like a friend on Denmark.”’
She burst out laughing.
‘What?’ he said, his eyes widening in consternation. ‘It’s true. You were an amazing Gertrude.’
‘It’s not that – it’s the irony. For our entire relationship, we’ve been too scared to talk about our feelings and now we’ve just had a full-on, no-holds-barred conversation about them in the middle of a public car park.’ She gestured around them. ‘At the top of our voices.’
There were loads of people about. Not that anyone appeared to be listening. Across the way, a couple had just got out of their car and were heading for the Indian takeaway and a girl with a dog strolled past. Closer by, an old man had just pressed the central locking on his car. Now he was humming tunelessly. No one was taking any notice of them.
