My sister’s words were coming back to me. Why do you have to be such a fun sucker? Why can’t you be cool, like Trina and Audrey?
Was she right? Had my obsession with running made me a fun sucker?
My feet came to a complete stop when I spotted Jayden walking down the hall with two of the baseball players, clearly on his way to the cafeteria. Blood rushed to my cheeks when I thought about how my brain had been so quick to consider him as a possible prom date. Yet another questionable decision.
I darted into the nearby girls’ bathroom to cool my face off with water and collect myself. Staring up into the mirror, water running down my cheeks, I took a deep breath and looked myself deep in the eyes.
Time to get real.
If I hadn’t injured myself, none of this would’ve been an issue. I wouldn’t have been questioning whether I was any fun or if I was a total loser for not having a prom date. I just needed to get back to what I was good at. No one could do it for me. There was one week and a single day left until I was done with the manager job and my ankle would be healed.
Positive thinking. That’s what it would take to make it to the finish line.
If anyone could do this, I could.
And then everything would return to normal.
Chapter Thirteen
The shocks on the old school bus had been worn to nothing. It bounced and jiggled the entire baseball team as we drove home from the away-game at Randolph Friday night. Most of the team had gathered near the front and were still celebrating their recent win. I’d taken up residence near the back for a bit of peace and quiet, my knees and shins pressed up against the seat in front of me as I slumped down low and stared out the window at the dark night passing us by.
Ever since the promposal yesterday, I’d been fighting off a black cloud that seemed intent on hanging around. Even now, it lingered over my head and left me with a throbbing headache right between the eyebrows that warded off any chance of sleep. I rubbed my fingertips over the spot, squinting against the pain.
At least it was Friday. One week left of this mess.
If...my ankle healed.
“Hey. Are you trying to sleep?”
I looked up to see Jayden hovering in the aisle next to my seat. My heart did a little spasm at the sight of him in his uniform. His baseball cap was missing, but his hair still had a messy, unkempt style that looked good on him. He’d managed not to shed any blood this time around, which had made for an uneventful game, but we hadn’t gotten to interact much.
For probably the first time I could ever remember, that felt like a bad thing.
“I was trying to nap, but I think I’ve given up on finding a comfortable position,” I said, shooting him a tightlipped smile.
He glanced over his shoulder at the boys chatting in the front and then back at me. “Mind if I join you? I can’t sleep either.”
“Um...sure.”
I hid my surprise and slid over as close as I could to the window to make room for him. He sat next to me, his shoulder pressing up against mine. I tried not to think about the fact that just two thin layers of cloth—my long-sleeved tee and his jersey—lay between us.
“You looked like you could use a friend tonight,” he said, leaning his head back against the seat and looking at me. “I’m here, if you want to talk.”
I huffed softly and glanced over at him, waiting for the punch line. “What? No teasing insults? No smart-aleck remarks to pass my way?”
“Absolutely not.” He made a zipping motion across his lips. “All wisecracks have been locked up until further notice. Tonight, I’ll just listen, if that’s what you want.”
I let my gaze linger on his face for a moment, taking in the patches of stubble that had formed on his cheeks, the fullness of his lips, and the strong curves of his jawline. He’d changed so much from that boy locked in the closet with me at Audrey’s party. It was hard to mesh the images together in my head.
I’d always assumed Jayden would be a pain in my side, but he’d surprised me a lot over the last couple weeks. It was about time for me to admit that he wasn’t the same person who’d teased me mercilessly throughout most of school. He was now the guy that rescued damsels from rivers, took them on road trips to the gas stations, and offered to listen to their problems.
Maybe, I was the one who hadn’t changed.
“So, what’s bothering you?” His gaze scanned my face expectantly.
I sunk a bit lower in the seat and turned my attention to playing with the ends of my blonde hair. “Oh, I think I’m just nearing my quarter-life crisis. Am I allowed to have one of those at seventeen?”
“I think you’re allowed one whenever you want.”
I glanced over at him. “Good. Sign me up for a Tesla roadster and a vacation home in the Caribbean, or whatever it is that people get when they’re going through a life crisis.”
He smirked and ran his hands down his thighs. “All my dad got was a new riding lawn mower.”
“Fine, I’ll take it.” I laughed and crossed my arms tight over my stomach. “It’s better than this stupid boot.”
Staring out the bus window, I kept my gaze on the lights of a nearby town as we passed them on the highway. Jayden might have been sitting silently beside me, but his close presence was causing a disruption like a foghorn in my skull. I couldn’t ignore it. Or the way the skin on my arm prickled when he shifted slightly in his seat.
“Are you still worried about your ankle?” he asked, drawing my attention back to his face. He was watching me closely, the darkness in the bus making the irises of his eyes appear almost black.
“Yeah...that’s a big part of it.” I sighed, feeling a tiny crack form in the dam I’d built around my emotions. It was hard to stay walled up with him looking at me like that. “But I guess everything from these past two weeks has me worried that I’ve built my life on this single talent that I have and now it could all be ripped away. Who am I when I’m not running? Am I good at anything else? Am I a fun sucker, like my little sister claims?”
Jayden snorted and I shot him a glare, although my lips twitched with a smile. He held up his hands and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I know I said I’d just listen, but I couldn’t hold it in. Fun sucker?”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks a lot. Next time I need a therapy session, I know who not to come to.”
“No, please.” He reached over and tentatively touched my hand, sending electricity shooting up my arm and causing me to inhale sharply. “Don’t do that. I want to be someone you can talk to.”
I searched his face, not daring to move a single muscle. “Why?”
That single syllable felt loaded with a million different questions at once. Why was Jayden here? Why was he so willing to listen to all of my problems? And why was it that sitting next to him in the semi-darkness of the bus was making my heart thump so loudly?
“I...I don’t know.” He looked down at where his hand covered mine and his jaw flexed. “I guess it’s because you and me kind of go way back.”
My lips twitched. “All the way back to a tiny closet in sixth grade?”
I’d meant it as a joke, but when his gaze rose to meet mine, there was a flicker of need so strong in his pupils that I nearly forgot to breathe.
But then his gaze softened and he smirked, making me immediately wonder if I’d been hallucinating. Or maybe, it was the reflection of headlights in his eyes causing me to see things. Either way, he slipped his hand off of mine and slumped down farther in the seat, chuckling low and throaty.
“Nah, we go back further than that. Don’t you remember third grade? Hitting me in the head with a bat in gym class?”
I narrowed my eyes as I tried to recall, but then it all came back in a rush. “You’re right! I did hit you in the head with a bat. A hollow plastic bat, but still...”
He rubbed the side of his head as if he could still feel it. “Yep. I think that was how we met: a game of Wiffle ball in Mr. Earl’s gym class. I was the new kid. It
was my official welcome to the Rock Valley community.”
“In my defense, I was aiming at the ball, not your head.”
“It’s a good thing you decided to stick to track,” he said, grinning over at me. “I’m not sure anyone would’ve survived if you’d gone out for the softball team.”
I elbowed him in the side and he grunted in response. Still, we were both laughing. The black cloud hanging over my head had managed to float away for a few minutes. I felt lighter, somehow. As if this big hulking plastic boot on my foot had suddenly disappeared.
“So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” I asked, combing my fingers through my hair. “Maybe you’ll give me some inspiration.”
He didn’t even take a second to consider my question.
“I’ve always wanted to be a veterinarian.” Nodding firmly, his eyes shined in the darkness. “I’m going to get my degree and then open a small animal practice. Might even run a rescue while I’m at it.”
Warmth shot through me. “I didn’t know you had a thing for animals.”
Of all the ways I thought this conversation could go, I hadn’t guessed that I would uncover something about Jayden that even I couldn’t deny was attractive. Guys who liked animals were hot. At least, in my book.
He turned his gaze toward me. “It’s more than a thing. It’s unhealthy, really. My mom threatened to put me up for adoption if I brought home one more stray animal. She says we can’t afford to feed every friend I meet.”
I snorted, but his story was ridiculously sweet. “I’ll bet that doesn’t stop you.”
He beamed at me. “Nope. We’ve got thirteen animals and counting at the Paul residence, but for some reason, they still haven’t changed the locks on me. I can’t help myself. Show me a furry face and I’m done for.”
“That’s actually really cute.”
His eyebrows arched and he shot me a disbelieving look. “Are you calling me cute, Amanda?”
It was a good thing the bus was mostly dark because my skin flushed from my chest up to my hairline. I shook my head and stuttered out a few syllables before I could reply. “Uh, no. Of course, not. I’m talking about the animals.”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah, okay. That’s probably for the best. No man likes to be called cute, anyway. I’d settle for sexy, hot, or devastatingly handsome. But nothing below that level.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. Jayden was cute, but he could also be all of those other things. Somehow, he managed to pull it off. Of course, he’d have to torture me to get me to admit to it. That was never going to happen.
“Well, at least you’ve got a plan for your life,” I said, smiling half-heartedly at him. “If I don’t get a track scholarship, I’m done. There’s nothing else I can do.”
He frowned at the vinyl seat-back in front of us, his eyebrows forming a severe line. “Mandy, I think you’re selling yourself short. Track isn’t the only thing you’re good at.”
A bitter laugh burst from my lips. I’d been racking my brain for the past hour trying to come up with something. “Like what? Passing out water during games?”
He chuckled as he shot me a teasing look. “Don’t discount your future career path as a water boy. I hear they make pretty good money.”
“Fine.” I raised my chin to stare up at the curved tin ceiling of the bus. “I’m good at running and passing out water. But what about beyond that? I’m not a talented artist like Trina or a musical genius like Audrey. What value do I have outside of my ability to pound the track? And what if it never comes back?”
My voice cracked on the last question. Jayden remained silent, staring down at his knees. Maybe I’d finally shared too much. The cracks in my dam had grown a little too big and washed away his willingness to listen. Bet he was regretting his offer now.
I ran my fingers through my hair, wishing that I could suck the words back into my mouth like the last few swallows of an Icee. But then Jayden sighed and turned his whole body towards me, his gaze locked fully on my face.
“Look, I’m probably the last person you want to hear this from, but I know that there’s a lot more to you than just running. You’re the fiercest, most intimidating girl I know. You’re a world-class best friend. You’re stubborn and always have a comeback that puts me in my place. But most of all, I know that you accomplish pretty much anything you set your mind to.”
His speech had my heart rate picking up. I turned my body to mirror his position and leaned my head against the seat. “Do you really see all that?”
“Yeah.” His tone held a bit of surprise as he raked a hand through his messy hair. “Why don’t you?”
I bit my bottom lip and my chest rose with a deep inhalation. Maybe if he’d asked me the same question two weeks ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated. Now, everything felt so fuzzy.
“I don’t know,” I answered slowly. “I guess it’s hard for me to see myself like that.”
His lips hardened into a line and his eyes darted between mine. “Not for me. I’ve always seen you that way.”
“Really?”
My breath hitched in my lungs as Jayden reached up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. The brief, gentle brush of his fingertips against my skin elicited a wave of goosebumps down my neck. I closed my eyes, soaking in the sensation.
And when I opened them again, Jayden was staring at me in a way no guy had ever looked at me before. His eyes held a smoldering heat that made me tremble. If it weren’t for the jerky bouncing of the bus and the noise of the other players up front, I would’ve been consumed by it.
“I think I know a way I can prove that there’s more to you than just running,” he said in a low voice, redirecting my gaze to his lips. “Meet me tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow?” I could barely think of anything in that moment except for his mouth, but luckily my subconscious seemed to take over. “Yeah...okay. I’m free until I have to drop my sister off at Savannah’s party.”
He grinned softly. “Perfect. It’s a date.”
A date? The words snapped me out of the strange hypnosis. I blinked at Jayden as he settled back into the seat, a satisfied smile on his lips. Is that what this was? A date? A pang of nerves went through my stomach. How had I gone from having a quarter-life crisis to dating the guy I’d been sparring with for as long as I could remember?
Everything was changing so fast.
“You can use my shoulder for a pillow, if that’ll help you get some sleep,” Jayden said, patting his arm without looking at me. “I don’t mind.”
Maybe it was because I was still half in shock about the dating thing, but I didn’t question my body’s automatic response to his request. Sitting back low in the seat, I rested my head against his strong shoulder and got a whiff of the same detergent and cologne that I recalled from his hoodie.
The hoodie that had remained in my locker for over two weeks now.
The scent was comforting, just like it had been that day at the Cascades. I melted into that feeling, closing my eyes and quickly drifting off to sleep.
For the first time in ages, I wouldn’t have minded if time had stopped.
Chapter Fourteen
A dress soooo sent the wrong signal.
I stared at myself in my bedroom mirror for a good fifteen minutes, turning this way and that, trying to convince myself that my usual outfit of yoga pants and an athletic top was the better way to go. But I just couldn’t. It wasn’t every day I looked this good.
My long blonde hair lay in soft waves over my shoulders. I’d even put on a little more makeup than my usual swipe of mascara. My lips were glossed, my eyes lined in charcoal. The navy blue floral dress with the pearl buttons that fell just below my knees in a flirtatious, flowy hemline had been begging me to put it on. It had nearly died a lonely death in the back of my closet, but today, it had emerged from the darkness like Khaleesi on her dragon, ready to slay this date.
Shoot. There I went again.
Date?
No, definit
ely not.
I’d woken up this morning with a clear head. I’d meet Jayden at the mall at eight p.m., like he’d texted me earlier today, but I wouldn’t let him get the wrong idea. We were just two friends, hanging out.
Friends. Even that was kind of painful to admit, but I could give that much. Jayden was my friend. We’d gone from half-way mortal enemies to friends. It was progress. A gold star to be added to my senior year. That was it.
So even though the dress was probably a little too friendly for my liking, I didn’t change out of it. Instead, I clomped down the hallway in my black boot and a lacy printed lace-up ankle boot on the other foot.
Charlotte looked up from the TV in shock as I approached. “Cute. Where are you going?”
“Thanks.” I grabbed my purse, feeling oddly self-conscious about my little sister’s compliment. “Just to the mall. Mom and Dad still working?”
“Yep.” She leaned on the back of the couch. “You’ll be back in time to take me to that party tonight, right?”
I sighed. As much as I didn’t want Charlotte at a party with Sarah and her gang, keeping her at home didn’t seem like the right solution. At least this way, I’d be able to keep a closer eye on her.
“Sure. Text me when you’re ready to go and I’ll come pick you up.”
She smiled victoriously and returned to her show. I slipped out the front door and hopped in Mom’s old Dodge van to drive to the mall. The whole way there, it felt like I was breathing in laughing gas from the dentist. And when I walked into the food court and spotted Jayden leaning against one of the seating booths, his eyes directed on his phone, the dizziness I’d been feeling moments ago now threatened to make me fall flat on my face.
He looked hot. Even hotter than in his baseball uniform, if that were possible. He wore a tight pair of dark-denim pants, a white tee, and a black jacket that accentuated the broadness of his shoulders. Memories of last night’s bus ride and the peaceful slumber I’d had on that very shoulder of his caused my gut to flood with embarrassment. I definitely wasn’t prepared for this. My body shot straight into flight mode and I took a step backwards, reaching for the door.
Dare You to Fall for the Catcher Page 9
