And although I suspected it before, realization finally hits me like a ton of bricks. Cain loves her. The scarred, vicious Demon of Murder is in love with my sister. And oddly, I wouldn’t be upset if she felt the same. No one would protect her more fiercely than him. And now that she is fully immersed in a world that is so unstable and uncertain, she’s going to need him. Especially when I’m not here.
Without another word, I exit the suite, leaving Cain to watch over my sister as she sleeps. I want to ask him about Legion and Uriel, and what we’re going to do, but I can’t. Not here. I won’t disrupt the bit of peace he’s found in her.
I’m still too restless to go back to my room, and after sleeping for three days straight, I don’t think I could sit still even if I tried. And being left to my own thoughts is definitely out of the question. So since it looks like we’ll be staying here for a while, I decide to explore Irin’s massive estate. The halls seem to always be filled with a flutter of activity, mostly from Irin’s staff, whose uniforms seems to consist of little more than underwear and short, colorful sarongs. Beautiful boys and girls parade seductively, each one stopping to happily ask if I need anything. I can tell that they enjoy being here, and probably literally live to serve. None seem older than twenty either. I don’t know if they’re immortal, like Irin, and stay young and gorgeous through magic, or if their employer just likes jailbait. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the latter.
I stumble into what seems to be a study. No. I can’t even call it that. It’s a library. Dozens upon dozens of shelves are filled to the brim with volumes marked with numbers. Years. They’re labeled with years. These are The Watcher’s recordings, dating all the way back to the beginning of time. Holy shit.
I run my fingers over the leather spines, not even knowing where to start. The Watcher is said to have seen everything. How many mysteries of this world has she documented?
“I can’t tell if Irin is the most efficient historian in existence, or just the ultimate voyeur.”
I turn towards the voice, and smile, my eyes automatically filling with happy tears. Nikolai strolls over to me from the doorjamb, as smooth and graceful as ever, wraps an arm around my waist, and kisses the top of my head. Affection is so easy with him, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. And it doesn’t hurt that his scent of sea and spice is as intoxicating as his beauty.
“Can you imagine the shit we could learn in just one of these?” I say. “What’s the real deal with the Bermuda Triangle? Is the Loch Ness monster real? Where’s the Lost City of Atlantis? We could create Unsolved Mysteries on Steroids. We’d be famous.”
“I don’t know. I kinda like not knowing everything. The Divine only knows there’s enough shit I wish I could unsee. Plus, I’d be afraid of learning too much about myself in the process.”
“Why?” I ask looking up at him. I feel him shrug.
“Would you want to read about all the shit you’ve done? All the shit you’ve tried to forget about? I’ve been alive for over a century, and I was a ruthless deviant for most of that time. I guarantee some of history’s greatest tragedies were caused by my kind, if not personally by my hands. I don’t want to be known for those faults.”
I nod, understanding completely. I’ve only been alive for a little over two decades, and I’ve done enough foul shit to have an entire book dedicated to me. I don’t need to be reminded of all my mistakes.
We stand in silence for a beat, gazing at the stacks, before I ask, “Did you know? In Hell…did you know what I was?”
“I suspected, but I wasn’t sure. I knew you weren’t fully human though.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I don’t even hide the tinge of hurt in my voice. I don’t have to with him.
“Because you weren’t ready to hear it. You were fractured when I met you. I didn’t need to add to that. Not when I needed you to be strong.”
He’s right. I was a mess when we first met. If he had told me that I was anything else other than a girl who had been dealt a shitty hand, I probably wouldn’t have believed him. Then doubt would have eaten me alive. I know Niko did what he thought was best, especially with not having any concrete evidence. It would have just added to my confusion.
We stroll through the library until we stop at a huge mural, the twin to the one in Lucifer’s study. The Rise and Fall of Humanity, starring the demon my heart aches for, Legion.
“You ok?” Niko asks, knowing exactly who and what consumes my thoughts.
“I don’t know. He’s…different. I can feel it. I felt it the moment I stepped into that room. And now that I’m different too, he won’t even look at me. And when he does, it’s like all he sees is Uriel.”
Niko shakes his head. “It’s not that. I think he’s just…afraid. That you can’t see him anymore. The Legion of Lost Souls is not just a demon, Eden. He is many. That has to be some seriously fucked up shit to deal with. And maybe he’s struggling with holding on to who he truly is.”
His words bring me the comfort I so desperately need, and I nestle into his side. “Geez, why couldn’t I have just fallen for you? Demons are complicated as hell.”
“Because you have a warrior’s spirit. And warriors live for the fight.” He pinches my hip, making me squirm. “Besides, you couldn’t handle me. I’d shatter you to pieces, and you’d be coming back, begging me to do it again.”
“Arrogant dick,” I jibe.
“What was that about my dick?” he shoots back.
I chuckle, giving him a playful elbow to the ribs. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”
“Same here. Seems like Mr. Hellfire has a thing for you.”
“So Lucifer really sent you? Why?”
Niko shrugs. “Said he wanted me to help you and the Se7en. Though I’m not sure what he thinks I can accomplish.”
“Is it permanent?”
“Not if I don’t succeed.”
I turn to him, my eyes bright with excitement. “Oh my God, Dorian and Gabriella…they have to be beyond happy right now.”
His gaze drops to the floor. “I haven’t told them.”
“What? Niko, you have to call them. Now! They were devastated when you didn’t come back with me. I know they want to see you.”
“No, E. I won’t involve them in this. It’s too dangerous. And if I fail…” He shakes his head, dispelling the thought. “I can’t get their hopes up only to watch them suffer again. They have my nephew to protect. I won’t be the cause of any more strife.”
I get it, although it kills me. “You will succeed. We will succeed. And you’ll be with your family again. I promise.”
Niko smirks, his ocean blue eyes dimming with unnamed emotion. “Pretty words from such a pretty girl.” He kisses my hair again and we resume inspecting the mural.
“You rescued Crysis. How?”
“He was chained up in some underground cell, drained of most of his blood, barely alive. Lucifer sent me straight to him, as if he knew he needed to be saved. Had I not been there, the Se7en would have never found him.”
“That’s strange,” I murmur.
“What is?”
“That Lucifer would want to help a Nephilim.”
“Well…he helped you, didn’t he?” I look up and frown at Niko, not out of annoyance, but out of confusion. Plus I’m just not used to considering myself as something other than human. “Don’t get me wrong, Luc is as self-serving and narcissistic as they come. And every move he makes is calculated and deliberate. But I think…I think he saved Crysis for you.”
My frown deepens. “For me?”
“He knew you’d need help; you’d have questions. Crysis is your friend, and after finding out the truth, you’ll need as many of those as you can get. He is your kind…your family, in a sense. He can help you tap into your gifts and strengthen them. And if this comes to a fight—which I believe it will—you’re going to need him.”
Again, I know he’s right. Even though he’s considered young for an immortal, Ni
kolai has proven to be insightful and wise beyond his years. His friendship is everything to me, and I am so incredibly thankful that Lucifer saw fit to send him, even if it is for his own selfish reasons.
The gauche sound of my growling belly makes us both break into chuckles, so we decide to seek out sustenance. After Hell, I’m over formal dining, so we simply pop into the kitchen where Irin’s staff is cheerily prepping.
“Is there anything we can do for you?” a lovely young woman asks sweetly. She is wearing a scarf around her breasts, fashioned like a halter top, and a long sarong with a high slit.
“Um, I was hoping we could get something to eat?” I ask, feeling uneasy with so many eyes on me.
“Of course! What would you like?”
“Some cheese, crusty bread, and a bottle of red would be perfect, my dear,” Niko answers smoothly, causing the young woman to blush bright red. I roll my eyes. Charming bastard.
“Of course. Coming right up.”
Niko’s indelible charisma scores us a gorgeous charcuterie board and the best wine I’ve ever tasted. We sit cross-legged on one of the many chaise lounges in the party room, noshing and chatting. Well, he sits cross-legged. I’ve got my feet tucked under me, thanks to my obscene skirt.
“I swear, I think Irin is just teasing me. Why do Lilith and Adriel have a regular wardrobe, while I’m prancing around in concubine clothes?”
“Now, if I was a different guy,” Niko begins, tearing off a piece of crusty French bread, “I’d tell you that you look damn delicious and to just go with it. But since I am your fairy-fucking-godmother, I’m going to tell you to ask the staff to bring you what you want. They love it when we request stuff—it’s weird. Like, they get off on servitude. They’d probably bust a collective nut if you asked them to replace your entire wardrobe.”
Duly noted. I make a mental note to track down Kairo and give him a list of Eden-approved clothing.
“Well, fairy-fucking-godmother, can I ask you something? And I want you to be completely honest, no matter how much you think it’ll hurt my feelings.”
“I don’t know how to be any other way.”
I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Now that Adriel is back, do you think Legion…” I can’t even say it without my face going hot.
Niko lifts a brow. “Do I think they’re fucking around?”
“Well, I wasn’t going to say that, but yeah.”
“No. Do I think she wants to? Probably. But do I think he’s trying to rekindle that flame? Not at all. He spends all his time with the Se7en. Training, plotting, counting his eight pack. When we first arrived, he sat by your side for hours, silent and still as a fucking statue. Not even a twitch of emotion. He’d just watch you. And when he wasn’t doing that, he was in the gym, fucking shit up. I don’t even think the guy has slept.”
My brow furrows with confusion. “Why would he sit and watch me sleep for hours, yet not even speak to me now that I’m awake? That doesn’t make any sense.”
Niko takes a long sip of wine, contemplating his next words. “Look, E,” he begins, setting down his glass. “I shouldn’t be the one telling you this, and I feel like a fucking narc for doing so, but I want you to understand. After Legion was reborn, he was filled with so much rage and hatred. And fear…fear that he would lose you. He… Well, let’s just say that anyone who stood between him and you was promptly and gruesomely discarded. I think that might be fucking with him a little bit. I mean, how could it not? He’s spent centuries trying to do the right thing. Now killing is second nature to him. And it may be hard for him to accept just how much he relishes it.”
“So? What does that have to do with freezing me out?”
“You’re half angel, baby. And you fell for him when he was a demon seeking redemption. All hope of that is lost now that his true self has been released. Maybe he’s afraid you won’t be able to forgive him for what he is. Maybe he’s struggling with forgiving himself.”
I nod, tearing the bit of bread between my fingertips into tiny shreds. “God, I hope you’re right. Because I know she wants him…but if he wants her…”
Niko’s hand goes over mine. “If he does, then he’s a damn fool. And he doesn’t deserve you, human, Nephilim or other.”
A small, sad smile curls my lips. “Tell me again why I didn’t fall for you first?”
Niko returns the sentiment before stroking my cheek. “You’re only half angel. Too fragile.”
Two bottles of wine later, and I’m drunk.
Being out for a few days really does a number on my tolerance, so I kiss Niko goodnight after he walks me to my room.
“Sure you don’t need help getting out of those clothes?” He wags his eyebrows playfully.
“Oh, sweetie.” I lightly slap his cheek. “I can’t handle you, remember?”
“I’m reevaluating your mortality.” He smiles lazily.
“Let me know how that goes.” Then I close the door in his face, feeling more than a little proud of myself. Niko is gorgeous. More than gorgeous. But he’s my friend, and it seems like I have a good shortage of those these days. Besides, anything that would and could happen between us would be purely physical. His heart belongs to another…the one that keeps him tethered to his morality. Amelie. And I could never betray her, although I’ve never met her. She’s the reason why he’s here, fighting for good. She keeps him connected to the humanity that he thought he had lost.
Sleep comes easier than I expect, and soon I am drifting into a distorted dreamscape. The noxious smells of fragrant burning candles mixing with the cloying scent of honeysuckle. Bone-chilling black water that soaks through my clothes, digging into my skin with its frigid claws. Flashes of bright, blinding light that burn my retinas until my skull aches. I can’t breathe, and every time I try to scream, black water fills my lungs. I’m choking. I’m sinking. I’m drowning.
Then came the pain.
Like I was being sawed in two. I felt my bones break, my tendons tear. I blacked out from the intensity of it, only to wake in even more agony and pass out again. I couldn’t even cry, could barely think. I just knew that I was dying, and I welcomed it. I wanted it to be over. I needed to be free from this torment. My sister would be sad, but she would find happiness again. And Legion…he would understand. Where ever he was, he’d survive this and move on.
A hand grips my arm, and I feel myself being dragged from those murky, freezing depths. Oxygen. I need oxygen, but I can’t open my mouth. I’m paralyzed with cold, with pain.
I hear muffled voices, shouting, but I can’t make out whom they belong to. It sounds like…chanting. Then behind my eyelids, I detect another blast of brilliant light. I can feel its warmth against my skin, like concentrated sunshine. I want to move closer to it, let it thaw my frozen frame, but my nerves are still numb. I gather all the strength left in me to no avail. I want to cry out of frustration, but even my tear ducts have been rendered useless.
Oh God…I don’t want to die. I take it back. My sister needs me. Now that Ben’s gone, I’m all she has left. And the Se7en…they tried so hard to keep me safe. All their sacrifice can’t be for naught. And Legion. I can’t die without telling him how I feel…without telling him that I love him. It may not mean much to him, but he has to know that he, and these past months, has meant everything to me.
But it’s too late. The light dims, inviting in the biting cold of darkness. There’s a scuffle near where I lay, frozen and dying, like someone collapsing. No one is coming. I’ll die alone, just as I was meant to. Just as I should have back in that dingy convenience store before I knew what it felt like to have something—someone—to live for.
When I stir awake, the sheets twisted around my legs, I reflexively reach out beside me, expecting to feel a hard, hot, masculine frame. But there’s no one there. The pillow is as cold as I felt in my dream.
No. Not a dream. A memory.
That black water, the blast of celestial light, those chanting voices. I remember it all. But
it’s not adding up. Something just doesn’t make sense to me. Uriel wanted Adriel back, so why didn’t he take her? Why leave her there? Hell, why leave me there, if he planned to use me? Surely I can’t be the only one who’s pondered her presence.
I jump out of bed and get dressed, anxious to talk to someone. I know I can trust Niko implicitly, but he knows about as much as I do when it comes to the Uriel-Adriel-Legion love triangle. Talking to the Se7en would prove difficult when they’re so uneasy around me. So I decide to take Niko’s advice and seek out Crysis. He’s Nephilim, like me, and he may know something he’s not revealing. Did he know Joshua is Uriel? I don’t think so, considering he was nearly killed for his involvement with me. But he knows more about angels and their motives than I do.
When I question one of Irin’s staff on Crysis’s whereabouts, the young man cheerfully offers to lead me to the fitness room, which is underground. And when I say fitness room, imagine Gold’s Gym on crack. Wall-to-wall, state of the art equipment, more weights than I can count, heavy and speed bags, and a raised platform dedicated to boxing and mixed martial arts. And right in the middle of that platform is a shirtless, sweat-slickened Legion facing off with Jinn and Toyol. Unlike him, his opponents are armed—Toyol with his blade and Jinn with a long wooden staff. However, Legion’s massive, clenched fists may as well be twin sledgehammers.
It only takes a moment before they all notice me. Lilith stills the speed bag she had been pummeling. Andras slows his swift pace on the treadmill. And Phenex sets down a stacked weight bar he had been bench pressing. The only one who isn’t glaring is Cain, and that’s because he isn’t here and most likely at Sister’s side. I’m a walking freak show, and I’ve never felt so out of place, even when I thought I was the lone human surrounded by supernatural creatures. It’s like there’s a flashing neon sign hanging over my head, boasting that I’m the closest thing to the angel that they’re all training to kill.
Wicked Ruin (Se7en Sinners Book 3) Page 4
