by F. L. Jacob
“I trust you, Caston.” My voice is barely audible.
Leaning down, slowly easing me onto my back, he starts kissing my jaw. I let out a soft moan as my insides clench with desire. His hands palm my breasts and tweak my nipples as his mouth sucks and nips its way down to the swell. Slowly his hands slide down my sides, he grabs the hem of my top and draws it up over my head. My long hair fans over my shoulders, framing my face.
“God, your beautiful, Sabrina,” he says breathlessly.
His warm mouth sucks one of my nipples in, and his tongue twirls around, causing me to arch my back in pleasure. He starts trailing soft kisses down my stomach. His hands glide down my sides until he’s gripping my hips as he presses his erection into my leg. I can feel how bad he wants me, and I’ve been craving him too. It’s been way too long.
“I need you, babe.”
As his fingers hook the tops of my silk panties, he tugs them down and brushes the scar on my leg. I immediately tense and pull away.
“I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you?” Worried, Caston sits up, looking down at me.
I quickly slip my camisole back on and inch away from him. “No, I just can’t, Caston.” A tear slips down my cheek, but I turn my head into the pillow before he sees me crying. My hand reaches down to touch my wrinkled skin above my knee, and my stomach churns, wanting to purge our beautiful dinner. It’s so ugly and deformed.
“It’s okay.” He scoots in close to my back and pulls me into his embrace. Placing a kiss on my shoulder, he says, “I love you, Bre. I’m the luckiest man in the world. Do you know how beautiful you are?”
I take a deep breath in and silently blow it out. A few more tears slide down my cheeks, soaking my pillow. I can’t respond when I don’t feel those same things. I drift off, praying I can sleep peacefully.
Waking from another dream, my breathing is hard and shallow as my eyes flutter open.
Caston’s hot body is still wrapped around me. I could tell by his even breathing that he was still asleep even though my body jolted awake. I move his arm off, gently sliding my body to the edge of the bed. Pausing briefly as I swing my legs over, I look back over my shoulder at the sleeping man who loves me unconditionally.
I feel my chest start to tighten, and I know a panic attack is coming on. Not wanting to break down in front of him again, I grab my crutches and get myself into the bathroom before I begin sobbing. Resting my back on the closed door, I slide down to the floor, hanging my head between my knees. I’m crying so hard I’m on the verge of hyperventilating. My heart hurts, and my whole body is tense.
I need to focus on the good. I need to remember back to happy times. Looking down at my engagement ring, I twirl it around my finger, and my chest slowly starts to relax. Love, our love, will get me through this. He’s being so strong for me. I need to be strong for him. We’ve both been handed some big bombshells. Life has a funny way of doing that when you thought you had it all figured out. We both vowed to each other we won’t give up, and I have to believe we’ll make it through.
Picking myself up, I hobble over to the sinks. I splash some cold water on my face and look at the reflection in the mirror. It’s amazing how someone can look normal on the outside when they’re torn to pieces on the inside. From the waist up I’m like I always was, but now from the waist down I’m deformed. The bullet from Beverly’s gun did a number on my leg, ripping it to shreds. The doctors don’t think I’ll be able to dance again. I can’t accept that. Therapy has been going well. It’s tedious, but I know it’s the only way to actually help my leg. Shaking my head, I keep my head held high. I can’t let this define me. Step by step I will get my abilities back.
Hobbling out to the balcony, I settle down on a lounge chair and raise my legs up onto the ottoman. The warm, clear night lets me breathe easily. Leaning my head back, I stare at the moon and fall asleep again.
I wake up to the sun warming my face. I have a soft knitted blanket placed over me, and I know that Caston has been up looking for me. This has become second nature lately. It’s been two months since I was in the hospital and a little over three months since the shooting, but I still can’t seem to shake the dreams that haunt my sleep and the panic attacks that plague my waking hours.
Stretching to wake my tight muscles, I glance over at the door to our room. Seeing it’s open, I take a deep breath to steel myself before I face another day. The cleansing breath wakes my senses with the smell of the soap from Caston’s shower wafting out on the morning breeze.
Snapping out of my day dream, I swipe away the tears falling down my cheeks. Damn these things never seem to quit. Not wanting Caston to see me crying, again, I get up. He’d placed my crutches next to me, since I left them in the bathroom. My doctor said I shouldn’t use the crutches and I should actually work on using on my leg, but it still feels wrong and stiff. Plus, I get around a lot faster with them. Making my way through the room, I’m out the door and heading for the stairs before Caston comes out of the bathroom.
We only moved back up here a few weeks ago. We’d been staying in a spare room on the first floor, so I didn’t have to climb the stairs with my crutches. It wasn’t right, though. Yes, I was home and with Caston, but we weren’t in our room, in our bed. Once my therapist assured Caston I could handle stairs with help, I convinced him to move back upstairs. Now, here I stand, regretting my decision. My stomach clenches.
As I’m about to take my first step down, I’m swept up into the arms of the man I love. I let out a small scream and playfully smack him on the chest. My crutches noisily tumble down ahead of us. “You scared the shit outta me.”
He starts walking down the stairs, cradling me tightly. “I saw you staring at the stairs. You know you need help on these. So, I thought I’d be your knight in shining armor and rescue you.”
He gives me a kiss on the cheek as he makes the descent.
“You smell wonderful,” I tell him as I snuggle into his neck.
“Bre, I need you to stop that, or I will take advantage of you on the counter when we get to the kitchen, and I won’t care that Jules is making breakfast.”
It’s been about a month since we’ve made love, and Caston has been extremely patient with me as I’ve come to terms with my injury. I remember the last time we had sex. It was after a business party that Caston wanted to skip, but I insisted on attending, saying it would help me feel normal.
Caston and I were a little tipsy. I shouldn’t have been drinking with the medicine I’m taking, but I snuck a few here and there without Cass seeing me. By the time the night was over, we were both giggling like idiots. We climbed into the back of the car, and as soon as Terrance pulled away, we were pawing at each other like teenagers. Never in my life have I been so brazen. I fucked Caston in the back of the car without caring who saw me. I don’t even remember getting up to the bedroom that night. Waking up the next day, I felt like I was on my death bed. I told Caston I never wanted to drink again, and I couldn’t look at Terrance for days after I was filled in on how we went at it in the car while he was driving. Not only did I feel like I was dying from the hangover, my leg hurt so badly Caston immediately took me to the doctor. Nothing was wrong, but she reminded us that we needed to take it easy. Ever since that day, I’ve tried to keep Caston at bay. It’s been torturing me to turn him down.
“Earth to Sabrina,” Caston whispers into my ear, bringing me back to him. A shiver travels through my body.
I look into his eyes. They’re burning with lust. I cringe remembering how I left him last night. I try to pull away and move to have him put me down, but he holds me tighter. “Put me down, Caston. Please.”
“Oh honey, don’t do that. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I know. I’m just…” I wasn’t sure what to say, so my voice trailed off.
Caston managed to pull out a chair before he set me down. As he slides into the chair next to me, I try changing the subject.
“I’m going to work today.” I reach for the p
eanut butter. “I think it will be good for me to get out of the house for more than just PT, and I figure you’ll be there, even if it is a different section.”
“Do you really think that’s a good idea, Bre? You don’t have to go to work.”
I gently set my knife down and fold my hands in my lap. Trying to mask my frustration, I say, “Caston, I will go crazy if I can’t get out of here. Plus, Sara and Beth are taking me dress shopping today, so I won’t be there the whole day.” I look over at him and against my will my eyes fill with water again. “I need to get my mind off of everything.”
He reaches for me and pulls me onto his lap. Brushing the hair off my face, he leans in and kisses my nose before resting his forehead on mine. “Sabrina, I won’t hold you back. If you feel this is what you need, I won’t stop you.” Kissing my cheek, his lips slowly move to my mouth, nipping my bottom lip before parting my lips with his tongue. Our kiss is hungry, needy. My heart starts to beat faster as I feel his need for me growing against my ass.
His brushes the hair from my face again, and he reaches for my left hand, pulling it up to his mouth, he kisses it gently. I feel my engagement ring move beneath his lips, and my insides clench. God how I want to feel him inside me; it’s been too long.
I excuse myself to head up to the bedroom with Jules’s help to get ready for work. Pressing the power button on my iPad, “Feel This Moment” by Pitbull comes on. Perfect song, I think as I turn myself over to the music. Applying my makeup lightly and pulling my hair up in a loose bun on the top of my head, I head to the closet in search of something to wear. Letting my body take over, I sway to the music and do a few hip rolls, feeling sexy and like my old self. I pull out a lime green and black lace bra and matching thong. Sliding them on, I look over at myself in the full length mirror. For a few seconds, I see the old me looking back. I notice I’m bearing my weight on my leg and there’s no pain. My heart warms, and I feel good. Turning around my leg gives out, and I’m brought back to reality as I catch myself on the dresser.
I close my eyes and give myself over to the music again, not wanting to think about what just happened. It’s flowing through my veins, calming me. I touch my scar and mindlessly rub it as I reach into the drawer and pull out black stockings and a black garter belt. Sitting down on the bench in the closet, I pull the silk over my legs. Smoothing them as I get them positioned perfectly, straightening the line that goes from my heel up to the top of my thigh. Satisfied that the silk is just right, I slide my feet into my black pumps. I always felt sexy when I had my heels on. Standing up carefully, I turn to look at myself in the mirror once again. I smile when I notice the black stockings cover my hideous scar.
The song ends, and I stop in my tracks when I see Caston leaning on the doorframe of the closet with his arms crossed over his bare chest, his jeans resting low on his hips, and his bare feet. That man’s body does delicious things to me. Meeting his eyes, I feel the heat melt me to my core. He scans my body starting at my heels. I feel them move slowly up as if he is touching me. My skin starts to tingle as he reaches my chest, and his tongue darts out, wetting his top lip. When his eyes once again lock with mine, my breath hitches and my heart speeds up. I see the outline of his arousal in his jeans, and my mouth starts to water.
Caston stands up straight and saunters over to me. His eyes never break eye contact until he reaches my side. Towering over me, I can feel the heat from his gaze radiating into my skin and a shiver goes up my spine. Letting the back of his hand glide ever so slowly down my ass cheek, it follows my curves to the top of my stocking on my left leg. He steps behind me, and his other hand snakes around my neck and turns my head to the side by my chin. I give myself over to him; closing my eyes as his mouth connects with the skin on my neck. The searing heat makes me moan, and I feel the dampness grow between my legs.
“You know I can’t resist you in heels and stockings,” he growls into my ear.
“Oh God, Caston.”
I turn my head toward him, and his lips cover mine, quieting me. “Shhh…”
I whimper. His fingers trace over the hard pebbles of my nipples. My legs start to get shaky. Caston moves in front of me, reaching around my body. He cups my ass as his tongue dances with mine. We’re both breathless when he finally pulls away, and I can feel how much he needs me.
“God I need you so bad.” Pure animalistic lust flickers in his eyes when he says it.
I grab his head and pull his lips onto mine again as I grasp the hair on the nape of his neck. His growl in my mouth makes me whimper. He lifts me effortlessly, and I wrap my legs around his waist, letting him carry me to bed.
He sets me down and steps back slightly before he goes to his knees in front of me. “You smell wonderful, Sabrina.”
I try to move his head to where I need relief, but he doesn’t budge. Seconds feel like hours until I feel his finger slip under my thong, moving it to the side. He lets his finger slide up and down my hot pussy, spreading my wetness over my smooth folds. Slowly sinking two fingers into me, his thumb brushes my clit and sparks fly through my body. It’s been so long since I’ve felt him, I’m about to lose my mind. I feel my orgasm hanging on the edge. His mouth slides down my body to join his fingers doing torturous things to me. His tongue makes contact with my swollen lips, sucking and nipping at them, lapping up my juices, and I’m thrown over the edge. Behind my eyelids stars and rainbows are shooting across my vision. I’m a convulsing mess as he strokes me down back to earth.
Slowly rising, he sinks the fingers that were once inside me into my mouth, and I suck them clean. My eyes connect with his, and I already feel myself panting, on the edge of another mind blowing release. He undoes the button of his jeans with his free hand and pushes them down past his hips, allowing his rigid cock to spring free into my waiting hands. I wrap them around his silky smooth length and spread the drip of pre-cum around his engorged tip. I’m torn between wanting him in my mouth and having him pound into me fast and hard.
Caston knows exactly what he wants as he removes his fingers from my mouth, he snaps the crotch of my thong and immediately rams into me hard and fast.
“You feel so good, baby—so good around me.”
My nails dig into his shoulder blades and my head falls back, giving him better access to my neck and collarbone. He’s sucking and nipping so hard I know there will be a mark, but I don’t fucking care. It’s been over a month, since I’ve had this man in me, and I need every sensation I can get right now.
I feel my muscles clench around his cock as my release shatters my mind. His teeth sink into my skin as his own release takes over.
“Holy shit! Caston, I love you so much!” I scream as another wave of ecstasy ripples over my body. Digging my heels into his ass, I pull him into me as close as he can get. I never want to let him go.
The sweaty sheen shinning on our bodies sends a shiver over my skin as we both come back to reality. I pull his head back by his hair and devour him. I can’t even verbalize how I’m feeling right now. Feeling his cock twitch inside of me again, I separate our lips and smile at him, like a love sick puppy.
“Sabrina, I may not let you leave this room today.” His smile turns devilish, and I feel myself clench in anticipation of all the sweet, dirty things we could do.
I take a deep breath and roll my head on my shoulders, bringing me back to reality. “That would be wonderful, Caston, but I really need to work, and I promised the girls we’d go dress shopping.”
“Sabrina, it’s been weeks. I need you. I need to feel you, hold you. Please, play hooky with me? We can get out of here. Let’s go away. Where do you want to go? Caribbean, Hawaii, France? Just name it. Let’s just go, you and me.”
My stomach flips. It sounds so perfect and just what I need, but I look away from his pleading eyes, so I can keep my composure. “No, Caston. I can’t.”
He pulls out of me and adjusts himself back in his pants. I can see in his eyes he’s hurt. Nodding he turns and walks out of the
room, leaving me to collect myself in his absence.
Fuck! I want to hit something so damn hard. I just want to make love to my fiancée all damn day, escape reality with her, and I should be able to do that. She’s so fucking sexy, but she doesn’t see it. This injury has messed with her head. I hadn’t had her in over a month, and today was heaven when I was able to sink into her. My cock starts to get hard again thinking about it. Damn body going against me. I throw on a t-shirt and shoes before leaving our room, slamming the door behind me.
I run down the stairs and head for the garage. Needing to get away as fast as I can to regain control of my temper, I don my helmet, and climb onto my Ducati 1199R. I want to get out of here, but I don’t have a death wish. Safety first, no matter how upset I am.
Starting the bike I speed off, leaving a black mark from the rear tire in my garage. Turning onto the road, I try to clear my head and enjoy myself.
Finally having a clear head and my emotions in check, I decide to head into work. Sabrina should be here by now. We work on opposite sides of the building, but we usually cross paths during the day.
Pulling up to the front of Black Hollywood, I’m temporarily blinded by the camera flashes. Some of the paparazzi yell for me to look their way.
Taking off my helmet, I forgot how crazy it was in the front of the building. I’m used to pulling in under the cover of the garage. I set my helmet on the seat and walk into the building, greeting the employees as I make my way toward my office. Looking through some paperwork my secretary handed me I’m caught off guard when Lane, Black Hollywood’s July Sweetheart and event planner, snuggles up to my side.
“Hey, Caston baby, I haven’t talked to you in a super long time.”
Trying to ignore her, I mumble, “Uh huh.”
She steps in front of me, stopping me in my tracks and slides her arms around my neck. Her bottom lip protrudes out, and she whines, “Caston, I miss you. You aren’t nearly as fun as you used to be, since shacking up with what’s her name.”
