by Z. Allora
Alex was watching porn with him! The stars on the computer were handsome, but Uli’s attention kept drifting back to Alex, who hadn’t taken a shower yet. Good lord, he smelled delicious.
Ulrich licked his lips and, his breathing quickened as he imagined he and Alex horsing around with each other like the actors on screen.
A noisy kiss drew Uli’s attention to the screen. Huh, were they cleaning each other’s tonsils? Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Alex swipe his tongue over his full lips again as if he were wetting them in preparation for a kiss. The two men onscreen continued to kiss, and one guy put his hand right on the other guy’s….
“Oh,” Alex whimpered.
Uli groaned. “Oh my God! That’s hot.”
He knew Alex didn’t live under a rock, especially here in the sexually charged environment of Club Zombie, but since Uli moved in, Alex did his best to avoid anything remotely sexual. Even though he confessed how guilty he felt to Uli, Alex refused to work on the desensitization exercises his therapist suggested. When physical displays of affection happened on TV shows or movies, he’d change the channel or he’d just zone out.
What would it be like to press his lips against Alex’s? Would Alex let him? What would Alex’s lips taste like? Would they taste sweet like the soda he’d swiped, or had he already brushed his teeth this morning? Would his lips be as soft and gentle as Uli imagined?
Uli shouldn’t want him so bad. But he did.
He started to squirm, making his erect penis slap his abdomen. As Uli shifted and pushed his ass against the bed, he ground his hips in small circles.
The action onscreen seemed to mesmerize Alex, especially when one of the men breached the other’s backside.
Yikes. Uli clenched his cheeks. How did… the guy shoved himself into the other guy’s butt so deep? Right inside…. Oh my God! How would it fit? And that grimace! Was the guy in pain, or was that from pleasure? Or was that pain morphing into pleasure? That fascinating concept of pain turning into bliss once again tickled the edges of Uli’s brain.
“Um, do you mind if I….” Uli gestured toward his cock.
Alex inhaled sharply. “You’re going to….”
Uli continued, “You can too if you….” As a matter of fact, Uli really wished he did join him.
“No,” Alex blurted out. “I mean, no, but you go ahead.”
With a soft sigh, Ulrich wrapped his fist around his penis exactly like before.
Alex shifted on the bed and glanced at the door.
“This won’t take long. I’m really horny.” Uli pumped his length in fast strokes. The computer on his torso made his movements awkward. Amid puffs of hot breath and the swish of his hand, he nearly begged, “Can you get me the lube off the nightstand?”
Alex turned to snatch the bottle and presented it to Uli.
Uli pushed his luck. “Could you put some in my hand?”
Alex’s “Oh” came out deep and breathy. He clicked the top open, tipped the lube over Uli’s busy hand, and squeezed.
“Mm, thanks.” Ulrich shivered as the slick rolled between his fist and erection. He turned his head, panting, and stared into Alex’s eyes.
At Alex’s obvious enjoyment, Uli’s insides did a somersault. He shut his laptop and pushed aside the computer.
Alex rolled closer and asked, “Does it, um, feel good?”
Uli groaned. “So good. Gonna come soon.” His quick breaths mingled with Alex’s. He opened his mouth and a gasp fell out.
Alex got breathy with what seemed to be anticipation for the final moment, which made Uli tremble. It felt like he wanted Uli’s orgasm as much as Uli did.
His gaze was riveted on Alex’s eyes; the attention made Uli shiver. The bed shook with Ulrich’s hand motion.
He needed a connection with Alex. It was inappropriate, but the need rode him hard. Finally, he begged, “Kiss me, Alex.”
Without pause, Alex leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Uli’s. Warm lips touched his mouth and his heart expanded with pure affection. Uli’s very first kiss was more than he’d ever hoped or dreamed would be possible.
Yes! Everything Uli shouldn’t be wanting was being handed to him. His body throbbed as he pressed his kiss hard against Alex’s clinging lips.
This kiss was perfect!
Uli froze and thrust toward Alex. Alex’s lips muffled the gasps of Uli’s completion.
Their kiss lasted for an eternity until Alex started to shift restlessly.
“I have to shower.” Alex jumped off the bed, ran to the bathroom, and locked the door.
Uli took his hand off his dick. What had he done?
4
Cold Showers Don’t Always Work
What had he done? Alex tripped into the bathroom and stripped off his clothing. He turned the cold-water knob to freezing and jumped under the spray.
He’d never wanted to sin so badly. Was what Ulrich did a sin? No, but he couldn’t disregard what had been hammered into him about masturbation. But if he didn’t think what Uli was doing was dirty or bad, maybe he needed to rethink everything.
The icy water burned his body as he showered. He hurt, but the cold stopped his penis from trying to erupt.
His mother’s cranky voice fought its way to the surface. “That’s what happens when little boys are bad. That’s God’s way of reminding you not to have those kinds of thoughts.”
He tried to block the sweet kiss out of his mind. Impossible. It had been everything….
Though part of him believed his mother was right—he’d taken too many beatings for the belief to disappear completely—another part of him knew she was wrong.
Spending time with Uli this morning, the things the therapist had been helping him work through now had a framework. Maybe his therapist was right. He needed to acknowledge he was allowed to get enjoyment from his body.
“Alex?” Ulrich tapped at the door. “You okay?”
“Yeah, fine. Be out in a minute.” Relief flooded Alex as he stepped out of the icy water and into the cool air of the bathroom. He shivered as he dried off and then wrapped himself in the big terrycloth robe he kept on one of the hooks behind the door.
When he emerged, Uli asked again, “You okay? I mean, I didn’t mean to make you kiss me… or anything.”
“I didn’t mind.” Talk about downplaying something. Alex had loved having Uli’s lips pressed to his, and he’d like that to happen again.
“I don’t understand why I asked…. You know, with Cutter and all….”
Alex sighed. Of course, Uli wasn’t interested in him. He’d been caught up in the moment. Uli had been convinced by his premonition skills that Cutter was his mate.
“It’s okay.” Alex stepped around Uli and stomped over to the fridge. “I’ll make breakfast.”
Uli went into the bathroom and closed the door. “Fuck!” wafted out from beneath the door. After sounds of shuffling, the door popped open. “Did you take an ice shower?”
“Yeah.”
“Why on earth would you do that?”
“I always take cold showers. It helps.”
Uli shook his head. “Helps with what? Catching pneumonia?”
“No. When it gets, you know, hard and the cold takes that away.” Embarrassment heated Alex’s face. He wasn’t used to sharing these details.
Ulrich opened and closed his mouth several times, like he was a new breed of handsome man-fish. He grumbled something and almost tripped as he retreated back into the bathroom.
Once Uli came out of the shower, they finished preparing breakfast together in the tiny kitchen. Alex put his iPhone in the speaker, and started their morning playlist. He started mouthing the words to one of Ulrich’s favorite Tokio Hotel’s songs. He handed over the silverware from the drawer, his body blocked from Ulrich’s reach.
“Thanks.” Ulrich pushed past him to set the forks and spoons on their bistro-style table as he sang the final words to “The World Behind My Wall.”
When the first notes
of the next song echoed through their apartment, Ulrich pumped his fist into the air. “Yes!”
He snatched up a fork to use for a microphone, jumped onto a padded chair, and belted out the first lines of the German rendition of “Monsoon.” His guttural accent echoed off the walls as he swayed in time with the tempo.
Alex didn’t resist the need to harmonize his tenor with Ulrich’s soulful, deeper tones. A happy smile erupted across Ulrich’s face as he let Alex sing several lines solo before joining him again at the chorus.
When the song drew to a close, Ulrich tapped Alex on the shoulder, and they finished setting the table. “I love that you can sing the lyrics in German.”
“How could I not?” Seeing the flash of confusion cross Ulrich’s face, Alex justified himself by stating, “What self-respecting Tokio Hotel fan doesn’t know the words in German?”
Ulrich snickered and poured orange juice for himself with a splash of cranberry juice, and cranberry juice for Alex with a smidge of orange juice. Alex brought platefuls of eggs and sausage to the table.
The normalcy of their everyday routine allowed Alex to put this morning into perspective. The entire bedroom episode was a fluke. It had to be. Best to pretend the kiss didn’t happen.
Uli rubbed his hands over Alex’s shoulders as he passed him to sit. No sooner than his butt hit the chair, he asked, “Um, you take cold showers, and you really don’t jerk off?”
Apparently, Uli didn’t get the perspective the morning had been reset. Alex’s face heated. He tried to answer, but could only get out a single word. “Right.”
“Aren’t you out of your mind horny?”
Alex shrugged. What did he know? He’d always had nervous energy ready to burn. His privates ached, but he couldn’t force himself to play with his body. Even without his mother ready to beat the crap out of him, the guilt at just thinking about touching himself had never been worth the shame. But after today….
“Do you want a sausage?” Alex held up another link, trying to change the subject.
Uli muttered something like, “I might ask you the same thing,” as he nodded, accepting the link.
Alex found the way Ulrich’s lips slid over the sausage link, taking a bite and a bit of juice seeping from the corner of his mouth, more erotic than the dirty movie. Ignoring that fact, he asked, “Um, is Cutter meeting you at the club tonight?”
They’d been seeing Cutter and Storm at the club three times a week since early summer.
Uli nodded. “Yeah, they’ll be there by nine to meet us.” He leaned in to confide, “I think Storm likes you.”
The thought tightened Alex’s pants in an uncomfortable way. No, he didn’t. He couldn’t. Why would he? “Please. Storm likes everyone.”
Uli grinned. “Cutter believes he likes you.”
Storm was infuriating, snarky, and far too graphic to hold appeal. Alex ignored all his sexual innuendos because they weren’t meant for him. The come-ons were intended for anyone within hearing distance. He scrambled for a subject change again. “Did you finish The Da Vinci Code?”
“Apple! Screw you. You could have told me the answer to that riddle! It was driving me nuts!”
Alex grinned. “Why didn’t you use your precog?”
Ulrich grumbled, “You know it doesn’t work like that!” He tossed his balled-up napkin at Alex’s head.
Alex caught and handed the paper back. “Here, you misplaced this.”
“Grrr!” Uli snatched it back. “You might have given me a hint.”
“It encouraged you to read.” Alex smiled, and then frowned.
Uli had been so cute begging for hints, and the pleading oddly enough caused all sorts of dark, dominant desires to come to life. Alex pushed those needs away and focused on the more innocent pleasure of curling up nightly on the small sofa to read together. That had become a looked-forward-to ritual.
Ulrich tried to glare, but his eyes sparkled in amusement. “After my transition, and when it’s safe for us to travel, we’ve got to go to Europe. I want to see the Louvre, and we should hit Scotland in the same trip. We’ve got see the Pillar from the book!”
Pain stabbed through Alex, but he forced a smile. “You definitely should go with Cutter… after you’re mated.”
Uli blinked at Alex. “Um, yeah. But….” He hesitated. “I want you there too.”
5
A Stitch in Time…
Storm relished watching Cutter undulate to the rhythm of the music and the flashing lights a little too much. He crossed his legs and stared at the dance floor. Ulrich popped and bounced to the beat in front of Cutter. Ulrich seemed drawn to touch Cutter’s soft brown hair. Storm understood that compulsion all too well. He’d liked pretty boys since first grade… and Cut was the prettiest.
Cutter pressed tight against Uli and gazed into his eyes. He brushed a lock of blond hair out of Uli’s face. The jealousy Storm normally experienced when his best friend paid another guy attention appeared confusingly absent. It was as if Uli and Cut were meant to be together.
Silly. Storm cleared his throat and focused on Alex. He’d never found androgyny all that appealing… until now. There was something about the man sitting across from him, who resembled a fairy tale prince of sex.
Cutter spun around on the dance floor, laughing with Uli.
Fuck it! Storm pushed away the wishes and dreams his family would never allow him to have and drummed the table with his fingers. Shit, he needed a diversion. Alex served nicely. “You know what time it is?”
Alex, bless his innocence, checked his phone. “It’s about—”
“Fuck o’clock.”
With a gasp, Alex raised a hand to his heart and glared. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
His shocked reaction, followed by a glower, made Storm hard. Storm finished off another bottle of root beer. Ah, it had been weeks, and he was still entertained by making Alex go prim and proper.
Damn, it flicked switches in Storm he wasn’t aware he had. “It means it’s time for—”
“I know what you mean!” Alex snapped. “Isn’t it time for you to slink to the back rooms?”
“Aw, sexy, I love when you get all bossy!” Storm wasn’t moving.
He wanted to play more cat and mouse with Alex. He hoped the pretense had given Cutter the freedom to make a move on the sexy giggling kid in his arms, but thus far they hadn’t gone beyond the dance floor.
So why should he hide in the back, texting while pretending to get off with someone, when messing with Alex was far more satisfying? Besides, even if he’d availed himself of the joys of Blowjob Alley, he’d still rather spend the evening teasing elf boy than some nameless mouth. Shit, a couple of times he’d gotten so turned on flirting with Alex, he’d jerked off and was pleased that his “just came” expression helped keep his ruse. But tonight, he wasn’t going to waste the time.
“You can be such a… a… an… argh!”
“Mmmm, I like it when you get all pissy. Alex, I’ve been bad. You wanna spank me?” Storm couldn’t stop himself from teasing.
“You don’t deserve one,” Alex snapped.
Taunting the enthralling guy, however immature, got heat to flash between them and reinforced that Storm’s attraction might be returned. Maybe his presence counterbalanced some of the other assholes in the club, who periodically came over and hit on Alex.
Storm’s phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen and sighed. Ah, Erick warned him their father wanted to talk to him. Just what he needed! He’d be ready at breakfast to do his eggshell dance, ’cause no one knew what would set the old man off.
Screw that! Carpe diem. He turned his attention to the stunning creature sitting with him. Alex appeared soft and fragile, unless Storm said something out of line, then the man became all steel. He consistently put Storm in his place, and fuck if that wasn’t hot as hell.
Might as well stir the pot some more. “Does Uli know you want him?”
Alex shook his head but wouldn’t meet Storm’s
gaze. “What? We’re friends! I don’t—”
Bingo! “Yeah, you do. I can tell— Shit! Cutter took a header.”
“What? Oh!”
Storm darted to the dance floor, zigzagged around the dancers, and helped Cutter stand. “You okay, Cut?”
Cut grumbled, “I’m fine,” and yanked his arm away as he moved closer to Alex, who wiped non-existent dirt off the back of Cutter’s pants. Cut usually avoided letting Storm touch him. It was probably for the best, but distance hurt like a motherfucker.
A smear on the parquet flooring appeared when the dry ice smoke swirled in another direction. Storm dropped to one knee to get a closer look. “What the hell is that?”
Uli knelt next to him. “It’s blood.” He waved over a staff person from the club.
A sick sensation slammed Storm in the stomach and crawled through his body. Although positive he didn’t want the answer, his feelings dictated he ask anyway, “Where did it come from?”
Cutter met his stare and shrugged.
Fuck!
Uli pointed to Cutter’s feet. “You’ve got it streaked across your sneaks.”
God, fuck no! A firm hand on his shoulder made Storm lean into the strength for a moment. He glanced back to meet Alex’s gaze.
“Grab him and follow me,” Alex issued the command and had no doubts that they all would do as he demanded.
Storm guided Cutter off the dance floor and down a corridor. Uli trailed after them.
Alex led them to a room with a table surrounded by four chairs and a raised padded platform against the wall. After he checked his phone, Alex said, “The doctor’s on his way.”
“Huh? What doctor? Who’s the doctor for? No one needs a doctor.” Cutter wobbled on his feet.
“Cutter, let’s sit down.” Ulrich steadied him.
In usual Cutter style, he dug in his heels and shook his head. “No, I—”
“Cut, please sit.” Alex’s request was more of a polite decree.
