by Stacy M Wray
“It’s got to be here somewhere, Stel. I promise…we won’t stop until we find it.” I hold my hand up by my shoulder, the first three fingers saluting the Girl Scout sign while my thumb holds my pinky down. How in the hell did I remember that?
Her forehead scrunches as she looks at my fingers in confusion. I don’t think Stel was a Girl Scout. They would’ve kicked her ass out before she could even consider earning her first badge.
She lifts her head up and puts her hand on my shoulder. “You’re right, Karm, let’s go.”
We help each other stand up when suddenly the music stops and someone yells, “EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OUT – WE’VE BEEN FOUND OUT – COPS ARE ON THE WAY!”
What the…? All pandemonium breaks loose and everyone scatters, running for their cars. My head spins as the panic sets in. “Shit, Stel, where are we? Where are Braden and Jason?”
She turns in every direction, and I see the alarm cross her face. “Fuck! I don’t know, Karma.” The chaos quickly brings us out of our drunken stupor, adrenaline now taking over. “Come one, we’re just going to have to catch a ride with someone…anyone.” She grabs my hand and runs towards a group of cars.
Tears immediately spring to my eyes when I think about Braden trying to find me – or worse, staying behind trying to find me, and getting arrested. Scared to death, I let Stella lead me across the field.
She sees Conrad Miller telling people to get in the back of his pickup, and we climb in without another thought, bodies colliding left and right. I realize my purse is back in Braden’s car – so is Stella’s. Shit! I turn to a girl who’s in my English class, asking if I can borrow her phone and she hands it to me right away.
Dialing Braden’s number, I hear the ring and pray that he picks up this unknown number. “Yeah?”
Thank God! “Braden – it’s me,” I choke out, tears threatening to spill. “Stel and I have a ride so don’t wait for us.”
Before he even answers me, I hear him yell to someone, “Let’s get out of here now – they’re safe.” Then he gets back on the phone, “Dammit, Karma, where are you?” He sounds panicked and angry at the same time. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
His angry voice makes me cry – or is it my drunken state? Probably a little of both. “We just got turned around…I don’t know.”
I hear him take two deep breaths before he says, “Karma, I’m sorry – don’t cry.” I can’t stop my tears now that they’ve started and Stella grabs the phone from me.
“What the fuck, Braden? Can’t you tell she’s upset?” I hear her pause and say, “Yeah, she’s okay. She just got rattled.” Another pause. “No, our phones are in your car.” Then after another long pause, she says, “Yeah, okay…we’ll meet you there somehow.” She hands the phone back to the girl beside me and thanks her.
I’ve calmed down now and eyeball Stella for information. She takes a deep breath, and I can tell she’s been rattled herself. She turns and says, “He said to meet them at Ray’s Diner as soon as we can, and that he’s sorry for being a dickhead.”
I give her a funny look, and she rolls her eyes and admits, “Okay…the dickhead part was me.”
Giving her a half-smile, I say, “He was just scared, Stel.”
She nods once and says, “I know.”
When Conrad gets far enough away from the ‘crime scene’, he pulls over and asks everyone where they need to be dropped off. What a great guy. He makes a mental list in his head and gets back in the truck, heading to the first drop off.
Braden and Jason beat us to Ray’s since we were some of the last ones dropped off. Braden runs to the back of the pickup to help me out, and I’m so relieved to see him. He looks me over, his eyes traveling up and down my body. “Are you okay?”
I nod and he wraps his arms around me, saying into my ear, “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I was scared when I couldn’t find you.” He holds me for a minute and then he lifts his head, saying, “Thanks, Conrad. I owe you one.” I see him flick his chin towards our classmate.
I don’t hear Conrad’s reply, but I hear him drive away. Stella’s the first to say something. “Damn, let’s get inside and order something…I’m absolutely starving.” Jason laughs and takes her inside the diner.
Braden breaks our hold and asks, “You hungry?”
I shrug. “I could eat.”
He takes my hand and we join Stella and Jason in the booth they’ve chosen in the back.
We all just sit for a minute, silently reflecting on the chaotic night when Jason finally says, “Shit! That was intense as hell.” Stella laughs and then we all join in – relieved to be sitting here and not in jail.
“Do you think anyone actually got arrested?” I ask.
Jason shrugs and says, “Guess we’ll find out soon enough. That shit will be all over Twitter.”
We all notice Braden remains quiet and he just shakes his head. “That was too damn close for comfort.” He looks at us and says, “I just came this close to having any hopes of a soccer scholarship yanked out from under me,” he states, holding his thumb and index finger almost touching.
Stella rolls her eyes and says, “Yeah, well, you didn’t. Besides, you weren’t even drinking.” He scowls at her until she finally looks away. Those two have butted heads a time or two. I lay my hand on Braden’s thigh, and he places his on top, wrapping his fingers around mine.
We don’t linger too long in the diner, leaving as soon as we’ve finished eating. Braden drops Jason and Stella at her house and then drives over to mine. Pulling up in front, he puts the car in park and shuts off the engine.
“Did you want to come in?” I ask.
He’s looking straight ahead through the windshield lost in thought and finally turns, realizing I’ve asked him a question. He smiles at me, saying, “It’s late…I’d better get home.” Laughing a little, he adds, “Unlike you, I have a curfew.” He shakes his head, not understanding how I don’t have one.
It grows deathly silent again. I reach over and take his hand in mine and ask, “Are you still upset about tonight?”
Choosing his words carefully, he says, “I’m upset I put us in that situation. So much could have gone wrong tonight, Karma. The crowd was way too huge – nothing good was going to come of it.”
He rubs his thumb along the tops of my hands and looks up at me. “If something would have happened to you tonight, I never would have forgiven myself.”
I lean my head back against the headrest and say, “But I’m fine, Braden, so we don’t need to go down that road.”
He reaches for me, putting his hand behind my head and gently pulls me to him. He brushes his lips across mine, gentle at first, and then with more heat, he slips his tongue into my mouth. I lose myself in his kiss, wishing he didn’t have to go home, and I could sneak him up to my bedroom. I just want to spend a whole night with him beside me – it’s something I’ve wanted to do for so long.
His other arm snakes around me, pulling me close. I could kiss him forever, my mind silently cursing the digital numbers on the dash – the ones robbing him from me too quickly.
His mouth moves along my jaw, to the spot where my neck meets my shoulder. “Braden…”
I can tell he smiles against my neck – he knows it’s the spot that drives me crazy. He stops and looks into my eyes that are probably all crazed right now. “I love you. I’m never gonna stop telling you.”
I place my hand alongside his cheek, sweeping my fingers down the scruff now apparent. “I’ll never tire of hearing it, either.” I kiss him again, trying to make him forget about the time.
No such luck.
He glances at the clock on the dash, swearing under his breath, looking back at me. “I know…you have to go,” I mumble. He lets out a huge sigh – we both hate saying goodbye.
“I’ll call you tomorrow – or well, today actually…later.” I nod and reach for the handle of the door, swinging it open. “Night,” he calls out as I’m walking up the path to my door.
I turn and give him a small wave, then watch him drive down the street until I can see nothing but the faint, red glow from his taillights.
Everything’s changing and I hate the red glow of his taillights.
I’m quiet as I enter the house, ascending the stairs to my bedroom. My skin still tingles from Braden’s touches as I slip my pajamas over my head. I’ve been growing frustrated with my virgin status. Braden and I still haven’t had sex but it’s all I can think about lately. Especially since he shared with me that he’s still a virgin, too. Shock doesn’t even describe my state when he told me, but I’m elated that we’ll be each other’s firsts.
Noticing my reflection in the mirror, my fingers immediately touch my just-kissed swollen lips, my mind immediately replaying the words Braden spoke tonight. My entire body floods with warmth remembering the look on Braden’s face right before he told me he loved me. I already miss him and can’t wait to see him tomorrow.
As I climb into bed, I wonder if Braden is replaying the evening in his head like I am. Reaching over to turn out the soft glow from my nightstand, I fall asleep with a huge grin on my face.
Is it possible to die of happiness?
chapter eleven
May 2013
The warehouse is in an industrial part of L.A., and it’s a good thing I have my GPS or I never would have found it. I recognize Braden’s car so I know I’m where I’m supposed to be.
Parking my car a couple of spots from his, I get out and gather my equipment, heading for the closest door. Peeking my head in, I see a crew staging the area for our photo shoot and I love what I see.
The opening of the door lets the sun stream through, causing Braden to turn towards the intrusion. “Hey, right on time,” he calls out to me. “Come here – I want to get your opinion on something.”
I notice he’s wearing old jeans and a casual white button-up with his sleeves rolled up to the elbow. Is there a certain dress code going around, remembering Lee dressed the same way.
As I approach him, I notice he holds his gaze longer than a colleague would, and I don’t miss that his eyes flick down my body and back up before he speaks again.
“What do you think about leaving all of these pipes exposed for the backdrop?” He hops down from the stool he was sitting on, now standing beside me, closer than is comfortable. The smell of his soap is fresh and clean – I know it’s not cologne since Braden never wears any. At least he didn’t use to.
I try to pay attention to what he’s saying, but the scent that invades my nostrils takes me back to a time when we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. Damn Jeremy! Putting all these thoughts in my head. It’s only natural that being around him brings up memories. We were together for over two years. No one could blame me for having such thoughts, right?
“Karma?” he asks, with an inquisitive smile on his face. “Did you hear anything I just said?”
I instantly feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment, as if he could hear the discussion I’m having with myself. Trying to shake it, I say, “I’m sorry, Braden. What?”
His eyes lock on mine and I swear they become darker – more intense. He couldn’t possibly know what I was thinking, but his reaction makes me wonder. Leaning in closer to my ear, he says, “What’s going on in that head of yours, Karma?”
Willing my complexion not to blush, I say, “Only work, Braden. Where do you want me?”
His brows lift while a sly smile spreads across his face. “You really want me to answer that?”
Now there’s no stopping the heat flooding my cheeks, knowing I walked right into that one. This needs to stop.
Where are the models?
“What I really want is to begin this photo shoot,” I tell him, my lips pinching together. I need to distance myself from him and focus on the job before me. “If you’ll excuse me…”
He steps aside, not even having the decency to conceal the smirk that’s been pasted on his face for the past few minutes, clearly enjoying himself. “By all means…”
I find the ladies room and freshen up, gathering my wits before I get behind my camera. Get your head in the game, Karma. You’ve got too much riding on this job. Was I wrong thinking we could work together like it was no big deal?
After leaving the restroom, I spot the models receiving their instructions from Braden. Some are listening while others blatantly check him out. I roll my eyes at their overt display of sexual objectification, wondering if Braden even notices. I hear him send them to hair and makeup before he meets with his assistant.
To stay out of the way until I’m needed, I climb up on a stool, watching the workers put the final touches on the set, thinking about the lighting and how I might want to soften it.
When I look up, I notice Braden heading my way, his business face back on. “Hey, we’re ready for you.” I slide off the stool, telling him I need to get my equipment.
He walks us to a part of the building where one set is finished and where we’ll begin shooting. I set up some lighting as Braden continues to watch me.
“How are your parents? Does your mom still have her bookstore?”
His question surprises me but I like it. “Yes. She’s even expanded it and put in a coffee shop. Both my parents are great. They’ve been out here to visit a couple of times but L.A. isn’t their style.” I smile, remembering how antsy my dad was to get back home to ‘reality.’
“That’s good to hear.” His eyes fall to the ground and when he finally looks back up, I see regret in his eyes – there’s no mistaking that look.
“How are your parents? I would imagine having you living in California isn’t easy on them.” I remember how Braden was their world…especially since the death of his brother.
He smiles a sheepish grin. “It wasn’t. They ended up moving back here a few months ago.” He shakes his head like he’s shocked. It doesn’t surprise me in the least.
“Hey, I finished editing the photos from the first shoot if you want to take a look at them sometime.”
He looks surprised and says, “Yeah – I can’t wait to see them. We’ll set something up.” Before I can respond, his cell phone rings, and he holds a finger up while he answers, walking to a different part of the warehouse.
I focus on getting everything set up, putting my mind in work mode. This old warehouse mixed with the clean lines of the clothing is the look I would go for if I were the client. I almost feel guilty with how much I love my job.
The photo shoot runs over due to all the outfit changes but I don’t mind since I’m in my zone, playing off the personalities of the models. I constantly catch Braden looking at me, never looking away when our eyes meet. Part of me wonders if it’s just our history, or is that interest I detect?
As I’m packing up my things, I sense Braden behind me, and I slowly turn around, catching his eyes on my ass. He’s not even a little bit embarrassed that I caught him.
“Hey, are you busy after this? I thought we might go over your edited shots. Maybe give the client something to drool over while he’s waiting.”
Panic sets it for a minute. Why? I have no idea. Tonight is my date with Lee, and I will be cutting it close as it is. “Um, I can’t tonight, Braden. I already have plans.”
Man, did that feel kind of good.
His eyes widen and he looks a little dazed. “Oh…okay. Maybe some other time.” He turns in the direction of his assistant while I direct my attention back to packing my equipment, not wanting to be rushed while getting ready for my date with Lee.
I couldn’t quite shake the look on Braden’s face the whole drive home.
Then chastised myself the whole time I was getting ready that I even cared.
* * *
The door chimes at precisely seven o’clock – not surprising. Swinging it open, I remember why I was so anxious all week, waiting for this moment. He’s so devilishly handsome, wearing a casual sports coat over a pair of dark jeans, another white button-up shirt peeking from beneath the coat. Polish
ed and put together, the creases around his eyes only add to the complete package. My eyes slide to his smiling lips, wondering what they would feel like on mine. For some reason, I bet he’s a great kisser. And I hope I get to find out first hand before the evening is over.
I step back to let him in, still needing to gather my things. “Come on in.”
He crosses the threshold and stops beside me, planting a soft kiss on my cheek, catching me by surprise. His scent washes over me – clean, masculine, and very expensive. I embrace the aroma while he steps away from me, allowing me to excuse myself.
“Certainly,” he says.
Once I’ve snatched my purse, I join him at the door where he stands with his hands casually in his front pockets. “You look lovely, Karma.”
The smooth cadence of his voice rolls over me like rocks along the bottom of a river, softening with age. “Thank you.” He ushers me out the door and waits for me to lock up before we turn and head down the hall to the elevator.
We make small talk in the car on the way to the restaurant which happens to be ocean-side, a place called Cecilio’s Trattoria Italiana & Seafood. Perfect – I love Italian. Lee’s manners are exquisite as he walks around the front of the car, opening my door for me. After thanking him, he places his hand on the small of my back as we walk to the entrance of the bustling restaurant.
The name makes it sound fancy but it’s a casual place, filled with chatter and the clanging of utensils on plates. Very boisterous. The atmosphere proves to be relaxing since uppity restaurants make me a bit uncomfortable. Lee must notice my reaction due to his hand on my back. He leans in and says in my ear, “You approve?”
