by Stacy M Wray
“You game?”
“Oh, hell yeah!” I maneuver the car into the lane that takes us to the next exit, following the road that leads to the giant Ferris wheel, with all the excitement of a little kid on Christmas. My parents never let me ride the rides at our local fair, stating that they couldn’t be safe the way they were slapped up and taken down. A small rush of adrenaline accompanies my thought, a whisper of freedom blanketing me as I shrink the distance between the car and the magical playground.
Pulling into the dry, dusty parking lot, we pay our five bucks for parking and leap out, happy to be stretching our legs. Just over the top of the car, I watch the crowd mill around the fairway with a goofy smile on my face. Jeremy’s already several steps ahead when he turns back to look at me. “You comin’?” My feet pick up their pace, joining him as the laughter and screams waft through the air from people enjoying the rides. The sweet smell of cotton candy and cinnamon-coated almonds linger in the air, battling the pungent aroma of livestock coming from the giant, white tents. I notice Jeremy wipe the sweat off his brow with the back of his forearm even though we’ve only been here about five minutes. Man, it’s hot!
Taking our time, we walk around soaking everything in. I can’t believe my parents kept me away from such pleasure. We pass a little boy sobbing, the reason lying on the grassy earth, his empty cone in his grubby little hand, crocodile tears spilling down his cheeks. His mother quickly assures him it’s nothing to cry about.
“Only three tries for a dollar, folks” and “Step right up and try your luck” can be heard as we approach the games. I’ve heard how these things are rigged, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to play something. Jeremy stops in front of the basket hoops, digging in his pocket for some bills. After six tries, he makes only one, earning him a sad little stuffed frog. I can’t help but laugh when he hands it to me.
Two booths down, I try my luck at darts. The back of the booth is covered in pastel balloons just waiting to be annihilated. I pay for three darts, the first one hitting the edge of the board, landing on the ground. Jeremy laughs. I give him the stink eye. My next two throws land on the board, never making contact with any latex. I tilt my head and shrug. Jeremy says, “Come on, let’s get something to eat.”
Trying to decide what I want is difficult since everything smells so good. My sweet tooth wins out, and I stand in line for an elephant ear. Jeremy is three booths down in line for an Italian sausage. We meet up and find a picnic table in the shade.
A moan escapes my lips as I let the sugary treat melt on my tongue, still hot from the oven. My eyes close as I enjoy all that doughy goodness. When I open them, I notice a hefty-looking boy in direct line of my eyesight, devouring a ginormous corndog. Let’s just say he is enthusiastic about that corndog. I reach for the lemon shake-up I purchased, slurping loudly when I get to the end.
Jeremy turns and scowls at me. “Pretty sure that’s empty.”
Laughing, I tell him, “Sorry. My mom never let me do that. I always got the ‘mom glare.’”
“Wonder why.” Wiping his mouth with his napkin, he pushes his plate back and says, “How’s Braden doing in California?”
His question surprises me a little. “Good. The competition’s really tough. Everyone is as good as Braden, if not better. I think it’s toying with his psyche – he’s used to being on top.”
Jeremy nods. “Welcome to college athletics. It’s tough, man.” I don’t really know anything about it so I just nod in agreement. I worry about Braden; he’s hard on himself.
Swinging my leg over the bench, I get up from the table and throw our trash in a green metal bin. “I want to ride some rides, Jeremy.”
Smiling back at me, he says, “Then let’s go.”
I don’t know what to ride since I’ve never been on them before. I observe them while Jeremy gets us some tickets. This Scrambler thing looks like fun, everyone seeming to like it. Then I watch the Tilt-A-Whirl. When I look up, Jeremy is beside me, shaking his head. I point to the red cars of the Tilt-A-Whirl. “I want to go on that.”
Jeremy continues to shake his head and says, “Anything but circles, Hippie Girl. I don’t do well with spinning.”
“Please, Jeremy. I’ve never been before and it looks like so much fun. Please.”
He huffs out a huge breath, rolling his eyes. “Alright.” But he doesn’t look very happy about it.
Handing over our five tickets, I choose car number eight, my lucky number, and we climb in. After the metal bar hovers over our laps, the ride slowly starts, my insides squealing with excitement. The speed slowly builds as our car rolls one way, then switches and rolls the other way. It sits at the top of a spin, then drops and rotates quickly, causing me to laugh so hard I’m about to pee my pants. How could such fun be withheld from me?
The ride ends too quickly, but when I look at Jeremy, I realize not quick enough. He literally looks the shade of the grass. Not waiting for me, he runs to the nearest trash can, having just wasted the seven-fifty he spent on his Italian sausage. Grabbing napkins from a close-by ice cream stand, I remain back, feeling bad I pressured him into riding in circles. When he’s finished, I hold my hand out, waiting for him to take the napkins.
Once he’s put himself back together, I apologize and he shrugs. “I warned you.” I’m secretly thanking my lucky stars he didn’t puke on me during the ride. “Now it’s my turn to pick a ride.”
What? “But you just got sick.”
“I’ll be fine as long as it doesn’t involve spinning.” He looks around in all directions, finally pointing across the way. “The Viking ship.”
I follow the direction of his index finger, watching the ship slowly rock back and forth. “That looks boring.”
He smirks at me. “My pick, Karma.” Pulling the remaining tickets out of his pocket, he counts them while walking toward the swinging ship. The line is a little long but the ship holds quite a few people. I notice a couple in front of me. He has his hand snaked around her backside, residing in the back pocket of her painted-on jeans. Seeing them together makes me miss Braden. Quickly checking my phone for any messages, I’m not surprised there isn’t any since he’s still at practice.
Before long, we’re taking our seats in the Viking ship. I sit in the middle when Jeremy says, “Oh, no you don’t. Back this way.” Whatever. I follow him to the second to the last seat. Sitting down, the heat of the metal bench burns the back of my legs, causing me to sit on my hands for a minute. Once everyone is secure and in place, the ship moves back and forth. Like I said – boring. Once it gains momentum, it really swings. The stomach-turning weightlessness causes me to lose my breath as we’re launched high into the air. I’m afraid I will drop out of my seat, my face parallel to the ground before we descend.
Glancing at Jeremy out of the corner of my eye, he watches me with the most satisfying grin on his face. He yells over the screams of our shipmates, “The middle is boring…but not the end!” I’m still struggling to breathe, my stomach no longer in its correct vicinity. Closing my eyes, I will for the ride to be over, not enjoying the way it makes me feel. I’ve just been schooled on the different rides at the fair. Who knew?
Since our bodies can’t agree on the rides we like, we forego attempting another one and decide it’s time to head back to the car and back to the highway.
I’ve just experienced something I’ve never done before and it was amazing.
Jeremy holds his hand out, palm up, waiting for me to plop the keys in it. As soon as we’re in the car, he looks over at me. “Have fun?”
I feel my eyes light up as I tell him, “That was the best…” And it was. Even the Viking ship.
chapter twenty-three
July 2008
Stretched across the bed in a quaint hotel room we stumbled upon as we entered northeast Texas, I relay my day to Braden with a renewed energy.
“How did I not know you’d never been on carnival rides before?”
I laugh into my phone, staring
up at the old-fashioned popcorn ceiling. “It just never came up, I guess.”
He sighs into the phone, a moment of silence passing between us. “You sound different…happy, alive.” I try to read meaning behind it but realize it’s just an observation. “I’m glad you’re doing this, Karma. I know I was an asshole about it at first, but I think it was a good idea.”
His confession warms me, even though I never thought he was an asshole. I wouldn’t have taken it well if he sprung on me he wanted to travel with some girl he became friends with in his English class. “It might sound corny, but I do feel different. I’ve never been away from my parents like this before. Do you feel different? Being away from home?”
He chuckles. “I don’t think you can compare our time away from home. Yeah, it’s nice being on my own, but my days are anything but carefree…the training is brutal at times.”
“I didn’t mean it like that…I just meant no house rules or parents putting in their two cents.” Even though my parents have always been chill, there’s just something about being your own boss.
After about forty minutes on the phone, Braden tells me he needs to turn in. “I miss you so much, Karma. The thought of you being here in August keeps me going, you know?”
I swallow slowly. “I know.”
“I love you, babe. Make sure Jeremy behaves himself.”
I wish Braden knew how unnecessary his words are. Jeremy doesn’t even come close to seeing me as anything but…well, like a sister, I guess. I think that’s what I like about him. There’s no weirdness about feelings being developed, and I think that’s one of the main reasons I wanted to go with him. It’s like a sixth sense or something. Or blind trust. “I love you, too. And you have nothing to worry about – he’s been an absolute gentleman.”
After hanging up, I continue to stare at the ceiling, noticing there are a few water stains to the left of my bed. I really miss Braden and I know I want to be with him. Then why do I get a tiny nagging sensation every time he brings up August?
Pushing the thought aside, I quickly get ready for bed, sleep finding me instantly. Before I know it, I’m waking to the alarm on my phone the next morning.
Eager to get moving, Jeremy and I eat a quick breakfast at the hotel before climbing back into our new temporary home. Even though yesterday proved comfortable being with him twelve continuous hours, I really want to get to know him better. “Let’s play twenty questions,” I tell him.
He lifts a brow but keeps watching the road. “Why?”
“Why not?”
“Whatever.” He doesn’t seem as put off as he’s pretending if the tug at the corners of his mouth is any indication. “Are there any off-limit questions?” he asks with a grin.
Not sure where he’s going with that but I hesitantly respond, “I guess not.”
He says nothing so I say, “Okay, I’ll go first. Um, who’s your favorite band?”
“Linkin Park.”
“Should have seen that coming. Okay…your turn.”
He thinks about this for a minute. “What’s your favorite food?”
“Pizza. Who was your first kiss?”
“Lindsey Miller.”
“Really? I never would have paired the two of you.”
“Wasn’t my choice – spin-the-bottle in eighth grade.”
I giggle. “Did she rock your world?”
“No. Who was your first kiss? And please don’t tell me it was Golden Boy.”
“Stop calling him that – and no, it wasn’t. Blake Findley – freshman year.”
“Blake Findley? Why on earth would you let that jerk kiss you?”
“Because I didn’t know any better, and I was young and stupid. By the way, this is supposed to be a non-judgmental game.”
“Since when?”
“Since now.” He rolls his eyes as I think up my next question. “Best Christmas present.”
He looks at me but doesn’t answer. I repeat myself. “Best Christmas present.”
“That isn’t in the form of a question, therefore, I refuse to answer.”
I laugh out loud. “Okay, smartass, what was your best Christmas present?”
“Probably my first BMX bike – man, I loved that bike.” A shallow sigh can be heard from his side of the car as he recalls the memory. I can’t help but grin at him. “Who was your first lay?”
“Jeremy!”
He smirks and shakes his head. “No questions off-limit. Answer.”
“Well, it’s probably no surprise – Braden,” I say.
“Figured as much.”
“Alright, who was your first lay?” I’m curious to know the answer suddenly.
“Brandy Conner.”
Wow! Kind of surprises me. “A cheerleader? I didn’t have you pegged as the cheerleader type.”
He grins. “I’m not. I think she just wanted to get back at her cheating boyfriend at the time. I was more than happy to oblige – got head and everything, so yeah, pretty memorable.”
“Ugh – I don’t need to know the details.” He laughs – I mean really laughs. I realize how much I like it.
Our game fizzles out after a few more questions, and I turn my attention to the scenery flying by through my window. I think about my conversation with Braden last night and savor that I feel much better about our separation now that I’m on the road. I’m no longer the one left behind, stuck in torpor with just the bookstore to keep me busy. I needed this purpose and I’m feeling bigger, like I can take on the world. Imagine how I might feel by the end of this trip. My stomach jumps a little, not knowing what lies ahead of me…in a good way.
The sun beats down on my leg through the window and it’s hot when I place my hand over it. Leaning up, I reach for the air conditioner vent and aim it toward my leg. Jeremy notices and points to the temperature gauge on the dash. “It’s hotter than hell outside.” My eyes go wide when I see that it’s ninety-two degrees.
“You see that?” He looks at me, mischief behind his eyes.
Looking out my window, I see nothing unusual. “See what?”
He jerks his thumb over his right shoulder. “We just passed a sign saying there’s a lake up ahead a few miles.”
My brows furrow. “You want to look at a lake?”
Rolling his eyes, he says, “I don’t want to look at it – I want to swim in it.”
His idea registers and I tell him, “I’m so in.”
Jeremy takes the exit and we drive around until we find a secluded spot. He pulls into a small parking area and puts the car in park. Getting out, he walks around to the back, opening the hatch.
“What are you doing?” I call back to him.
“Finding my swim trunks. You did pack your swimsuit, didn’t you?”
“Um…yeah, but…”
I get out of the car and walk to the back when I hear Jeremy say, “Unless you want to see my junk, I’d stop right there if I were you.”
My hand immediately flies up to cover my eyes and I turn away from him. “Are you changing out in public? What if someone drives by?”
“Relax. There’s nobody out here. You can change in the car if you want.” He walks around to where I’m standing, chuckling as he puts his hand on mine, lowering it. “All clear. And it’s not like you’ve never seen a guy’s dick before.”
I feel my cheeks heat and hope he doesn’t notice. “Do you always have to be so crude?”
He leans in and says, “There’s nothing crude about it, Hippie Girl…lighten up. See you in the water.”
Walking around me, he throws a smug look over his shoulder and heads to the edge of the lake.
Quickly rifling through my bag, I locate my suit and towel and climb into the car to change.
Jeremy’s already in waist-deep when I approach the water. I notice his eyes travel up and down my body before he says, “Come on in – it feels fucking fantastic.” I just chalk it up to him being a guy and let it go.
Easing myself in a little at a time, it feels like a slice
of heaven on this scorcher of a day. I smile at him as I lower myself down into the water.
Smiling back, he asks, “What?”
“This was such a great idea.”
He cocks his head to the side and asks, “What…the lake or the trip?”
“Both.” I watch him do laps across the water a few times. When he stops and tosses his head around to get his hair out his eyes, I say to him, “I heard what you said to Braden outside of my house. Were you not serious about taking this trip…thinking I’d say no?”
“Nah – I just said what I thought Golden Boy wanted to hear. I was totally serious and wanted you to come.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because it seemed like you could use it.”
I shake my head. “No – why would you just tell Braden things he wanted to hear?”
“Because putting him at ease meant things would be better between the two of you, which meant you would stick to your decision to come.”
I think for a minute and guess what he did was a good thing…I think. “Well, thanks. Your quick thinking worked.”
“Anytime.” And he tosses himself into the water more, continuing the front crawl. He looks graceful when he swims, an adjective one wouldn’t think to pair with Jeremy.
After staying in the water long enough to turn into prunes, we lay in the sun, drying off our suits. When the heat becomes too much, we find shade and lay our towels down, both of us taking a well-deserved nap.
When I wake up, I almost forget where I am until I notice Jeremy lying on his stomach beside me. The sun has inched its way down and I have no idea how long we’ve been asleep. Sitting up, I sigh as I bask in the quiet, nothing but the sound of the trees’ leaves rustling from the breeze being carried off the lake. Watching the water’s edge slowly grab at the shore, like greedy little fingers, makes me think of our vacations growing up. I used to fear the lapping water, thinking it was creepy as it tried to eat my toes. Laughing to myself, I realize how silly that was.
