by Stacy M Wray
She smiles wide and says, “No, I guess it doesn’t.”
I take the simple, yet elegant, cream-colored dress she picked out earlier off my bed and hang it on my closet door. “I’m going to hop in the shower,” I tell her and walk to the bathroom.
I take longer than usual since I do all of the extras I haven’t had to worry about for so long. I leave the conditioner in my hair the whole time, hoping it will be extra soft since I plan on leaving it down.
When I’m reaching for my jewelry, I hear the doorbell ring and the flutters start in my stomach, making their way up to my throat.
Relax, Karma. You’ve been on hundreds of dates with him.
Taking a deep breath, I walk out into the living area where I see Jada making small talk with Braden. His head turns when he hears my heels meet the hardwood floor beneath me. His eyes get big and he immediately walks to meet me, the fresh, clean aroma of his soap lingering in the air.
Leaning in, he kisses me on the cheek. “You look amazing,” he says. I know it’s loud enough for Jada to hear, a sigh escaping her as she watches us.
“Thank you. I could say the same about you.” And I could. He’s wearing charcoal gray slacks with a steel blue button up shirt. Stunning.
He takes my hand and leads us to the door. “It was nice seeing you again, Jada.”
“Likewise,” she says, waving her fingers at us. “You two have fun.”
Braden looks at me and winks, while Jada shuts the door behind us.
“Your roommate’s nice,” he tells me, as we head for the elevator.
“Yeah, I hit the jackpot with that one.” He’s still holding my hand when we reach the bottom floor and head outside to his car.
This whole scenario is so different yet still the same, and I tell myself to quit thinking about it so much and just enjoy the moment. I want to soak up every little morsel of this evening.
Braden takes me to a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant, reminiscent of the one back in Colorado Springs. I can tell he’s pleased that the gesture isn’t lost on me as he guides me to a table by a window adorned with material from brightly colored serapes, tassels hanging along the ends. A nearby table celebrates a birthday while the waiters circle around a middle-aged lady with a huge sombrero on her head, singing the Mexican version of “Happy Birthday” as her face turns five shades of red. I’m betting she didn’t see that coming.
After we place our orders, we both take a drink of our margaritas that the waitress brought earlier. They aren’t as good as the ones back home but it doesn’t matter, nothing matters. The whole universe feels back in alignment having this man sit across the table from me, looking at me only how Braden can.
He takes his drink and holds it in the air. “To us,” he says, and I clink my glass against his.
“Something I’ll definitely drink to,” I say, taking a long drink of the refreshing cocktail.
Braden watches me place my drink down and says, “I need to know if we’re on the same page, Karma.”
I raise my eyebrows in question and answer, “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Have you truly forgiven me?” he asks, his eyes never leaving mine.
I nod and say, “Yes. I already told you that.”
Nodding back, he says, “I just need to make sure. I want us to be together and I don’t want anything from the past holding us back.”
He reaches for my hand across the table and rubs his thumb over the lotus flower tattoo on the inside of my wrist. “I hate that you did this without me,” he says. “I should have been the one holding your hand.”
His confession surprises me and I don’t know what to say.
He looks up and says, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” When I still say nothing, he adds, “Will you answer me one question from the past and I promise to drop it?”
I sigh heavily and say, “Sure”
His eyes don’t meet mine when he finally asks, “Did anything go on between you and Jeremy? Ever?”
“No. Never.” But then I think of that one time in my dorm room when I was drunk and feeling lost. It was the smallest of kisses but I guess I’m not being honest if I don’t tell him. Not that it’s any of his business, but he asked. “Well…”
He shoots me a panicked look. “You just said – ”
“I know,” I tell him, “but I almost forgot about the time when he came to visit me…I got drunk and I kissed him…but he stopped me right away.”
“You’re kidding,” he says, sarcastically.
I have to laugh and say, “No. I’m not kidding. I believe his words were: “I can never be him.” It was a lapse in judgment on my part. I love Jeremy – I do. But not that kind of love…he’s been my rock for so long.”
Braden sits, staring at me in disbelief. “Huh,” is all he says. After a minute, he says, “Thanks for being honest.”
Tossing him a smirk, I say, “You’re welcome.” I have no intention on reciprocating – I don’t want to know anything about his conquests in the last few years.
The rest of our dinner conversation is kept light, mostly talking about people we knew from high school and experiences we had in college. Braden told me about his favorite teammates from soccer and how they still keep in touch. I would have loved to watch him play soccer at UCLA. I hate knowing I missed out on all of that. I want to get to where we can talk about our past and be comfortable, not wistful.
After paying the bill, we walk to the car and Braden stops me before opening my car door. “How about a drive along the coast?” He’s standing so close that I’m pinned between him and the car.
“Sounds wonderful. I never do stuff like that.” His eyes hold mine for a moment before dipping down to my mouth.
Sweeping his thumb gently across my bottom lip, he says, “I want to kiss you…”
I swallow slowly and whisper, “So what’s stopping you?”
“Nothing,” and he presses his lips to mine, gently at first but it quickly builds to a need that can’t be fulfilled here in this parking lot. It’s unbelievable the allure still existing between us…it never went away.
His kiss speaks of apologies and second chances and hope. It tells me this is it…there’ll be no more loneliness, no more regrets, no more wishing for what could have been. His kiss promises me a tomorrow and the next day…and the day after that.
The need for air forces the kiss to end, and Braden leans his forehead against mine, holding my face in his hands. “I promise to never take you for granted again…especially if I can kiss you like that whenever I want to.”
I smile and say, “Might be tough to top.” My heart races so fast it’s hard to focus on anything else.
Pulling me into his arms, he laughs and says, “I’ll never quit trying.”
With my face now buried in his neck, I’m content and the rest of the world has ceased to exist. I had only dreamed about a scenario such as this, and I can hardly believe the arms encompassed around me are real. But they are. And they’re attached to the only man I’ve ever loved.
Braden snaps me out of my cloud when he announces, “I think I promised you a drive.” His smiling eyes are staring down at me. I love that I’m the one that put the sparkle in those eyes, the gray shade so vibrant against the blue of his shirt.
“Yes…you did.”
Opening the passenger door, he makes sure I’m buckled in before walking around the car to the driver’s side. After he pulls out of the lot, he reaches over the console and takes my hand in his, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
It doesn’t take us long to reach the stretch of road following the coast of the Pacific Ocean. I lay my head back against the seat and take in its beauty. “Seeing this will never get old,” I tell him.
“Nope…it never does,” he says, looking out my window.
“You sound like you do this a lot.”
He smiles and says, “I do. It helps me unwind. I do my best thinking on these drives.”
“And
what do you think about?” I ask him, playfully.
He’s quiet for a moment and then says, “You.” Looking over at me, he says, his voice lower, “Always you…”
My heart skips a beat, tightening in my chest, having no idea I was still on his mind all that time. I smile and squeeze his hand to let him know how much I like his answer, loving that he missed me as much as I had always missed him.
His cell phone rings, pulling us from our moment. He lets go of my hand to answer. “Hello?” … “Hi, Mom.” … “Yeah, I can do dinner Sunday.” … “Okay, but I’m bringing a guest.” He looks over at me and grins. “You’ll see.” … “Okay, see you then.” He ends the call and looks at me, so pleased with himself.
“Don’t you think you could’ve asked me first?” I say, a little annoyed.
He looks concerned and says, “Do you already have plans for Sunday?”
I sigh and wonder how he can be so dense sometimes. “Braden, you can’t just spring me on them. Your parents were never big fans of me to begin with.”
He grabs my hand again and says, “My parents liked you, Karma.”
My eyebrows go straight up and I toss him a look telling him I don’t agree. “You sure remember things differently than I do,” I say, sarcastically.
Producing an awkward laugh, he says, “Okay, maybe they were a little rude, but they just wanted me to stay focused.”
A little? My parents welcomed him with open arms; there was a reason we were always at my house and not his.
“That you did,” I mumble.
I can’t help but see the hurt flash across his face, reminding me how sensitive he can be.
“I’m sorry, Braden. But you’ve got to realize how awkward this will be for me.” I can’t believe we’re having this conversation on our second first date.
“It won’t be awkward, Karma. I promise,” he states, emphatically. “But if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll just call and cancel.” He reaches for his phone again.
I know he’s half bluffing, but I say, “Fine…I’ll go. But I’ll walk out if they’re rude.” Now I’m bluffing but he doesn’t need to know.
He seems okay with my answer, retracting his hand. “Good. Now let’s go watch ourselves a sunset.” And he pulls the car into a parking area where benches are lined up for saps like us.
Braden grabs a blanket from the back of his car and we walk toward the lookout. Unfolding the blanket, he spreads it out a little. “I don’t want you to get your dress dirty,” he tells me with a wink.
“Thanks.” Jada will appreciate that since it’s hers.
I’m glad there’s no one else around as we take a seat on one of the vacant benches. Braden wraps his arm around me and we sit in utter silence, only the sound of the waves pummeling against the mammoth rocks and the seagulls competing to be heard.
It’s not long before the sun starts its descent into the water, at least that what it looks like. “I still always think of you whenever I can afford the luxury of witnessing one of these. Usually I’m stuck behind my desk,” he says, quietly.
I look at him and say, “Me, too…um…to the first part.”
Wrapping his fingers under my jaw, he cups my face as he kisses me softly. The kiss is cut short when the squawk of a seagull startles us. Braden chuckles and I snuggle in closer, feeling chilly from the breeze being tossed up from the water.
“You cold?” he asks, his voice full of concern.
“Just a little,” I tell him.
He pulls the blanket from under him and wraps it around my shoulders. “Better?”
“Yes, thank you.” He tucks me in under his arm once again and we sit at least an hour, long after the sun has disappeared.
On the drive back into the city, Braden confesses, “I don’t want to take you home, Karma.”
His kisses and small touches throughout the night have made my body respond in a way I don’t want him to take me home either. I don’t care about taking things slow…my body and mind already know what they want. They want a repeat of last night…and more.
“Then don’t,” I boldly tell him.
He flashes me a sexy grin and turns right, heading toward his condo.
The sexual tension floating through the car has my mind spinning with anticipation. Braden has his hand on my thigh and its increasing pressure doesn’t go unnoticed, with the way it’s creeping up higher and higher. It’s not long before his pinky finger is grazing me to where I think I will lose my mind. He has no idea how long it’s been for me.
Finally pulling into the parking lot of his complex, I don’t even wait for him to open my door, meeting him at the front of the car. We quickly enter the elevator and he’s on me the second the doors shut, pinning me to the back of the lift. His hands grip my backside, pulling me into him. We grind into each other shamelessly as our mouths collide in a heated, sloppy kiss.
One of his hands slides up to my breast, roughly squeezing it; eliciting a loud moan from me. “God I want to be inside you so bad,” he says against my mouth. His words are intoxicating, and I reach for the button of his pants. Before I can get anywhere, the doors open, leaving us exposed to the tenth floor tenants. Thank goodness no one is waiting.
Braden grabs my hand, yanking me out of the elevator and down the hall. He swears when he can’t get the door open fast enough. This makes me laugh and we both fall into the room.
After kicking the door shut, Braden puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye. “We need to slow down…I want to do this right.”
I grab his hand and lead him to his bedroom. “There’s no wrong way, Braden. I’m certain of it.”
When we’re in his room standing beside his bed, he smirks at me and says, “I’m glad to see you want this just as much as I do.”
I reach up, putting my hands behind my neck, and attempt to unzip my dress. He reaches up, bringing my hands to my front, and says, “Let me.” Gently spinning me around, he deliberately drags the zipper down and then stops. Gently placing his hands on my back, he slowly pushes the material of my dress to the sides, causing the cap sleeves to fall off my shoulders. I hear him suck in his breath as his hands make their descent back down my spine, stopping at my ‘dimples of Venus.’ “I love this spot on you,” he says in a raspy voice, “it’s so sexy.”
I look over my shoulder, noticing his eyes glued to my lower back. His fingers dip into my panties, skimming the tops of my buttocks. His eyes close momentarily and a soft moan escapes him.
Heat travels throughout my body at the carnal sound escaping his lips. My hands reach around, latching onto his hips. He lowers his mouth to my right shoulder, kissing me there before his hands reach around and lower the front of my dress to my navel.
I remove my arms from the material that briefly held them captive while he places his hands on my breasts, kneading them as my body sinks into his. A multitude of sensations fire through my insides, proving difficult to stay on my feet.
Planting his mouth on my jawline, he works his way to my ear. “Time to lose the dress,” he says, as he lowers it from my waist. Hearing it rustle to the floor, I step out of it as he turns me around. “God you’re so beautiful.”
Placing my hands on his taut chest, I unbutton his shirt and remove it from him, tossing it to the ground. I can tell by his physique he still works out. My hands travel to the top of his pants, unbuttoning them before lowering the zipper. Kicking his shoes off, he helps me take his pants off while I step out of my shoes.
Tossing back the covers, he lowers me down to the bed and admires me again before skimming his hands up my torso and then back down my thighs. “I have never forgotten the softness of your skin,” he says.
Reaching behind my back, he unhooks my bra and slides it down my arms, tossing it off the bed. Tracing the underside of my breasts with his fingers causes me to shiver, and he smiles. “You cold, baby?”
I shake my head and smile back. “Not at all,” I tell him. “Come here and kiss me.” He takes by b
reast in his mouth before landing his lips on mine, and I arch my back in reaction, my fingers buried in his hair.
He kisses me fiercely, his tongue tracing every inch of my mouth. With our lips still joined, he slides a hand down inside my panties and between my legs. I moan my pleasure into his mouth, and I can feel him smile against my lips, stroking faster. The pressure has me tensing up as my release shatters through me, causing me to break our kiss so I can catch my breath. “Braden…god…”
“Watching that will never get old,” he whispers against my lips.
He remembers exactly how I liked to be touched, the perfect combination of gentle and rough, more pressure here and less there, recalling how much I love his lips on my mouth, my neck…everywhere. The realization is mind-blowing.
My hands grab for his briefs – I need to touch him. I’m fumbling to get them off and give up, wrapping my fingers around him from the outside as he sucks in a breath. “Shit, Karma…”
I kiss him on his neck and murmur, “I love your hands on me…I can never get enough, Braden.”
“No?” he says, as his hand passes between our bodies to my entrance, this time easing his finger inside.
Writhing beneath him, I answer, “God, no…” He chuckles and inserts another finger, picking up the pace and I can’t stand it any longer. “Please, Braden…”
“Tell me…what do you want, Karma?”
“God…you…”
“You have me,” he says, teasing me.
“I want you inside me. Now, Braden.”
He removes his hand so he can finish taking off his underwear and then mine. Leaning to the right, he pulls a drawer open from the nightstand, grabbing a small silver packet. Ripping the top open with his teeth, he sheaths himself before pushing my shins back, the tops of my thighs pressing against my stomach. Lining himself up, he growls, “Brace yourself, baby.”
Wasting no time, he plunges in, causing me to cry out. He freezes. “Are you alright?”
“Mm-hmm – just give me a minute.” I guess I should have warned him how long it’s been since I’ve had sex. When I’ve adjusted to his size, I say, “Okay – I’m okay.”
