“You look gorgeous,” she admitted bluntly, only to see him smile nervously as he watched her walk up to the front door.
“I thought you needed to change?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m covered in chalk dust.”
“Then I can’t wait to see what you look like dressed up,” he replied. “…because you are already breathtaking with just that smile.”
“Please, I have mustard on my blouse,” she admitted, laughing.
“I thought it was just that internal glow that shines through,” he teased, leaning down to kiss her quickly as they stood in the doorway. Tabitha shook her head and darted off to her room.
That was the easy part about their friendship, they kept their personal spaces because that involved a level of trust they hadn’t breached yet – not to mention they weren’t married. Brandon had his room; she had her own. He hadn’t told her what had happened to him overseas during his capture and she wasn’t ready for anything less than everything from him in a relationship.
Throwing the lock, she quickly shucked everything and threw it in a hamper. Running to the closet, she yanked out a simple modest black dress that she kept for emergencies. She hated to wear black on their date, but the only other dress was the bright yellow one she’d worn to the wedding. She could have worn slacks, but it just didn’t seem right to wear her ‘teacher clothes’ out on a date. He’d seen her in those and she wanted to knock his socks off tonight.
She wanted him to fall for her, to say those magical words
Letting out a heavy sigh, she quickly ran a brush through her hair and freshened up her eyeliner. Brushing her teeth, she hesitated, before putting on some pale pink lip-gloss. She never wore anything like that but then again, she never really wore dresses either. Tonight was going to be special and she could feel it deep in her bones.
Putting on her pumps, she glanced in the mirror and grimaced. Gosh, she looked so prim and proper. She’d never been one of those girls to wear a fitted slinky dress… it wasn’t that she couldn’t, she just didn’t want to.
It didn’t fit her personality.
She related more to June Cleaver rather than Marilyn Monroe – not that there was anything wrong with either! Both were beautiful in their own ways. Opening her door, she saw Brandon sitting on the couch waiting.
He stood up and turned to greet her, his mouth dropping open in surprise. His eyes roved over her, making her feel extremely glad about freshening up and realizing this was just as important to him too.
“Wow,” he breathed, holding out his hand to her. “You look incredible and I’m one lucky fool.”
“I like to think so,” she teased nervously, her fingers touching his.
“Oh, I know so,” he confirmed, pulling her to him. “Can I mess up your lipstick, my little Tabby?”
“Maybe later,” she said breathlessly, staring into his eyes.
“Tabby?”
“Yes?”
“It’s technically later,” he said tenderly, kissing her.
The feel of his lips against hers was heady. She loved the way they pressed and seemed to fit just right. She could smell the faint scent of cologne and couldn’t help the sigh of contentment that escaped her as he tightened the embrace, holding her against him. There was nothing better than having him hold her.
“I don’t want us to be late,” he whispered softly, gently nipping at her lower lip. “I want to show my girl a terrific time.”
“You are already ahead of the game.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet,” he promised, stepping away, taking her hand and leading her to the door. “Let’s go, sweetheart.”
Arriving in front of the building, she was stunned to see that he was taking her to an Italian restaurant that she’d only dreamed of going to. It was incredibly romantic with heavy curtains that separated each booth from the next.
As they walked in, she saw each table glistened with a thick layer of shellac, and the scent of dough assailed her nose. She loved fresh baked bread like a kid loves candy. Now she was really glad to be wearing this dress because specks of marinara wouldn’t show on the material when she threw down her food like a ravenous beast who hadn’t eaten in a week.
“You made reservations here?”
“I did.”
“This place is really chic.”
“Only the best for our first date,” he said lightly, winking at her, before walking to the attendant. “Two for Tobin please.”
“It’s technically our second date.”
“A mere technicality I assure you that we are going to fix,” he countered just before the hostess walked them back. She said simply “Mr. and Mrs. Tobin, this way please,” and Tabitha noticed that Brandon didn’t correct her.
Instead, he turned to Tabitha and gave her a pointed look with an arched eyebrow that made her snicker in delight. She adored this playful side of him that was such a rare joy to behold lately. They were good for each other, she realized, because he truly made her happy and she felt like she did the same for him.
Sitting down, they adjusted the drapes closed to give them a bit of privacy and Tabitha noticed that Brandon seemed to tense up. She immediately stopped the person.
“Can you leave those open so I don’t get too stuffy?”
Brandon’s knowing gaze swung to her as he nodded silently. She saw the pinched line of his mouth and nudged him under the table with her foot. The hostess that seated them didn’t say a word, just refastened the heavy velvet drapes back in place. It was no big deal, because most of the other tables had theirs pulled to, or almost closed, for privacy.
“Closed off spaces?” she asked simply, glancing at the wine menu, before looking up at Brandon.
“Yes.”
“No problem. I’m not a fan either.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Not at all. Do you want something to drink? I’m not a huge drinker but I could use something light to settle my nerves – and maybe yours too?”
“I’m not nervous.”
“You look like you might be ill.”
“Maybe some wine then,” he amended, letting out a large sigh. “I can’t take being shut in a room at all – nor the darkness.”
“I realized that early on about the lights being turned off, but I didn’t know about the being closed in. Is that why I find you outside a lot?”
“I was used to being in the sun all the time when I was in the desert. We did maneuvers, marched everywhere, or were simply under cover with not much of a wall around us unless we were in our barracks. When I was captured…” his voice faded away and Tabby reached for his hand.
The waiter arrived at that time and waved forward a sommelier carrying a bottle of light red wine. Tabby didn’t know or care what kind it was – so long as it was fermented and helped Brandon relax, she was good. They lightly tapped their glasses together before taking a slight sip. Brandon took a second larger sip and sighed.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had wine,” he admitted.
“Same here.”
“It’s good.”
“You know you don’t have to tell me about it, if you aren’t ready.”
“I just don’t want to ruin the night.”
“I look at it more like sharing a part of yourself with me that no one else knows. Call it a relationship-builder, if you want?”
Brandon took another sip of the wine and ordered two glasses of water for them as well when the waiter brought out some of the bread. A small plate of oil and herbs teased her nose and Tabitha refrained from attacking the loaf of bread that was steaming within the linen cloth.
“I’m starving,” Brandon said nervously, reaching for the bread. “I hope you don’t mind if I help myself. Would you like some?”
“No, it’s alright,” she protested faintly and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her.
“Seriously? How can you say ‘no’? I thought we were a lot alike?”
“Ok, maybe a small hunk of dough. He
ck, just break it in two and I’ll take the larger half of the loaf,” she sassed, rolling her eyes. Brandon grinned as the waiter reappeared with the water.
“We’ll take another loaf of bread and leave the bottle of wine,” Brandon said, not taking his eyes off of her. She felt her heart flip over in her chest at his next words and the knowing smile he gave her.
“We’ll be here a while discussing a few things. Do you have a special tonight? I want to treat my lady and make her happy.”
“Of course, sir.”
Tabitha couldn’t tear her eyes from him as she wanted to blurt out how much she cared for him in that very moment. He was just so wonderful to her and every time she turned around, it was the little things he did that made her feel incredibly special.
“That sounds incredible,” Brandon said, not looking away from her.
“I’ll have the same,” Tabitha replied, unable to tear her eyes from his.
“Certainly ma’am.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the waiter leave. Brandon outstretched his hand towards her across the table. She saw the circlet of gold glinting on his finger and felt like the luckiest woman in the world, as she laced her fingers with his.
“You know I’m happy, right?” she whispered softly.
“I hope so,” he admitted gruffly. “I’ve never felt so alive until that moment that you came to get me and hugged me in that office. I thought I knew what happiness was before, but nothing compared to what I felt when I saw you again, Tabby.”
“You don’t have to tell me if it’s too painful.”
“You know, it’s not that I don’t want to,” he confessed, “…it’s just hard because when I look back, it’s an accumulation of everything. I lived in a cell for months at a time, in the dark, with just a little bit of light during the day. I think it was the not knowing, the fear, the insecurity that just ate at me. I don’t think I would have made if I hadn’t had something wonderful to focus on.”
“You should always focus on your happiest moments,” she agreed.
“You don’t want to know what it was that made me happy?”
“I’m sure its personal…”
“It was you,” Brandon interrupted softly. “It was always you. I thought of that joyful, glorious soul that wanted two pieces of cake at the wedding and danced barefoot with me. That girl that had been staring at me several times at picnics, barbeques, and weddings but always seemed to be hiding away every time I went to go talk to her. That beautiful girl that yanked off her wig, begged a ride, and then drove my rental car better than I did.”
Tabitha felt a tear run down her cheek as she swallowed thickly.
“You got me through the toughest times, the times when I thought I was losing my mind. I knew I had to get out because deep down inside, I knew that my perfect half was waiting. I didn’t think I could take much more because I wanted more memories to sift through in my mind, in the darkness. I wanted to feel the sunlight, see your smile, hear your laugh… and God help me, I wanted to kiss you.”
She unwound her napkin, dabbing nervously at her eyes as she felt his thumb start to caress her hand where their fingers were linked. She couldn’t look away from him as he poured out everything.
“I was sick. They barely fed me enough to keep an animal alive, and threatened me every time I turned around, but somehow I knew that I would get the chance to see your smile again. So when I got out, they immediately had me meet with counselors and therapists, and all I could talk about was you.”
“Is that why they thought I was your wife?”
“I said I wanted my Tabby, my wife,” he replied, his face flushing a little in embarrassment. “I think I was putting the cart before the horse and praying for a miracle… and you came. My miracle actually appeared.”
“Brandon,” she protested faintly, knowing she was far from a miracle and their relationship was not a normal one. They have lived together as friends and roommates, but the words he was saying implied more… and she was afraid to hope.
“You are a miracle, my miracle, and don’t let anyone ever tell you differently. I’ve never met anyone so good, so caring, so gentle in my life and I feel like you’ve allowed me to open up in a safe zone.”
“That is what any friend would do.”
“I don’t want to be just your friend,” he admitted. “I want to be your everything. I want to cross that line with you between friendship and caring, earning your love and admiration.”
Was she imagining things? These were the words she always wanted to hear and he was so sweet, so tender.
“What are you saying?”
“I really like you.”
Ouch.
Tabitha winced.
“You like me?” she parroted.
“I like you a lot,” he admitted, frowning, as Tabitha pulled her hand from his. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” she said carefully, knowing that Brandon was opening up to her as much as he could. Maybe he wasn’t capable of more and she would need to be content with the fact that he liked her.
“I like you too – maybe a lot more than just ‘like’ - but that’s a good start. I just… oh man, this is hard…” Tabitha said, feeling sick to her stomach.
Maybe the wine was souring in her gut?
Could bread go bad?
Perhaps she had a bad case of the stomach flu coming on?
… violently so?
“I need to go to the bathroom,” she confessed, getting up from the table before she threw up. She could already feel herself sweating buckets like she might be ill or faint. How could he say that he ‘liked’ her after being so sweet, so tender, so loving… but he didn’t actually love her?
“Tabby?”
“No. I’ll be back,” she blurted out, leaving Brandon at the table.
She blindly headed to the restroom at the back of the restaurant, grateful for the neon sign that guided the way. She couldn’t see from the tears streaming down her face and couldn’t think from the pain in her soul that was tearing her apart.
Bursting into the ladies’ room, she ignored several looks. It was a massive restroom with large stalls, several sinks, and a seating area for children and breast-feeding mothers to wait. As she plopped down on the padded bench along the wall, she put her face in her hands, bawling indelicately.
Jeez… he liked her?
Had she been friend-zoned for life by just being nice to him?
“Tabitha?”
Brandon’s alarmed voice pierced the fog around her and she jerked her head up to see several women run out of the bathroom angrily, as he walked in without a care in the world. The door shut behind him and he flinched, but instead of opening it…
He locked the door.
Kneeling down before her, he clasped her hands in his.
“Tabby, why are you crying?”
“You can’t be in here, Brandon.”
“I’m not leaving you like this,” he countered.
“Look, I just need a few minutes to get my emotions under control.”
“What emotions? Are you mad at me? Did I make you cry?”
“Yes! Yes, I am mad at you. Is that better?” she snapped, trying to pull her hands from him as he calmly knelt there. “Let go.”
“I don’t think so. Tell me why you are mad at me.”
“Because you like me,” she snapped. “Like, like, like.”
He stood up, releasing her hands, and walked over to the sink. Grabbing several paper towels, he wet then and returned to her, kneeling once again, with that soft smile that normally melted her heart.
Right now, it just hurt.
“Tabby, I adore you.”
“Oh geez…” she snapped, rolling her eyes as a fresh round of tears started. “Is something wrong with me? Is it me? I just don’t get it.”
“Tabby,” he said tenderly, wiping her eyes with a cool, wet paper towel. “I get scared and sometimes say stupid things. I was afraid at how you would feel if I tol
d you that I loved you and wanted to marry you immediately. It’s not romantic and you deserve some romance in your life. I wanted to wine and dine you, maybe do something creative when I pop the question…”
“Now you are just saying that,” she said angrily, yanking the wet paper towels from him and ignoring the chuckle that came from him. She planted the cool towels against her eyes, knowing they would be incredibly puffy and she’d look like a raccoon because of all the crying.
A knock came at the door.
“Sir, we are going to have to ask you to unlock this door.”
“Not yet. I’m proposing to my girl,” Brandon called out.
“No, he’s not!” Tabby argued loudly, peering under the paper towels at him where he knelt. His tender grin was almost her undoing.
“Sir, please. We’ll need this opened right away.”
She heard the man banging on the bathroom door and rattling the handle several times. Brandon just knelt there, unmoving, before her, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. He held her hand, wiggling the small circlet of gold on her finger absently.
“Tabby, I do love you sweetheart and I meant it. I’m scared because we’ve only been on two official dates but I feel like I’ve known you forever. I want people to know you are mine and I want us to work through anything together.”
“Because you like me.”
“Because I dearly love you,” he corrected.
“You didn’t say love until I mentioned it.”
“And you’ve never said it at all,” he countered. “If you don’t love me then I won’t pressure you to marry me…”
“Of course, I love you, you idiot!” she blurted out, “Why do you think I’m crying in here?”
“Because I was mucking it up…” Brandon said quietly. Both of them looked at the doorway to see the deadbolt turn loudly as the door opened to reveal a man standing there in a suit.
“Sir? We are going to have to ask you to leave the premises at once.”
Brandon looked at her pointedly and Tabby rolled her eyes.
“Great – now we are being kicked out. So, does this date even count anymore if it is cut short? Are we back to just the one official date?”
Remember Honor Page 10
