She never said anything reproachful, never yelled or pouted. But he felt her gaze on him and knew she watched and wondered why he couldn’t simply love her back. She didn’t understand what she asked. She didn’t know how impossible everything had become.
It was only two years, he reminded himself. Surely they could survive that long. Then she would be free to leave and start over.
Except what if she were right? What if she did only ever love him?
He rose and walked out into the family room. From there he could see the backyard and the pool. Noelle sat by the water. Did she avoid the play because she wasn’t in the mood or was she afraid a bathing suit would give away her secret?
She’d lied to everyone she’d ever loved because of him, he thought grimly. She’d wanted to go to her parents and tell them the truth and he’d wanted to take control. He’d known that he had to be a part of the baby’s life, so that he could atone for what he’d done to Jimmy. The decision had seemed right at the time, but now...he wasn’t so sure.
The doorbell rang. He hurried toward the front of the house, grateful for the distraction. But when he opened the door, he knew there was always a price for everything.
A man stood on the doorstep. It had been fourteen years, but despite the increase in gray hair and wrinkles, Dev recognized him.
His father offered him a tentative smile. “Hello, son.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
NOELLE WALKED INTO the house and found Dev facing down a handsome older man. There was enough tension in the room to strangle an elephant. Seeing as Dev was an experienced executive and used to dealing with lots of difficult people, she was going to go out on a limb and say the guy wasn’t selling magazine subscriptions.
“Noelle,” Dev said between clenched teeth. “I’d like you to meet Jackson Hunter. My father.”
Father? Noelle stared at the older man. Father as in the guy who ran out on his two sons days after their mother died? Father as in the guy who told Dev he had to leave to keep his oldest son from turning out just like him?
“Mr. Hunter,” Noelle said, her tone icy. “This is unexpected.”
The older man smiled at her. “I know, my dear. You have every right to be angry with me. I just hope you’ll understand when an old man comes home to make amends with his only family.”
Noelle opened her mouth and closed it. Dev was his only family, now that Jimmy was gone. Except for the baby. Which meant Jackson was her baby’s grandfather.
She looked into Jackson’s brown eyes and saw a lifetime of pain there. “It’s been a long time,” she said.
“Too long. I wanted to come back before, but I didn’t know how.”
“A plane would be a conventional way of traveling,” Dev said flatly. “A car, if you’re in the area. A boat could work, to the coast, of course.”
Jackson Hunter flinched.
Dev didn’t seem to notice. “If you’ll excuse me, I have work to do,” he said, then left.
Noelle thought about calling him back, but had no idea what to say. These days, she and Dev were barely speaking.
“It’s all right,” his father said. “I wasn’t a very good father while I was around and leaving didn’t improve my status.”
“Dev said you told him you left so he wouldn’t turn out like you,” she said before she could stop herself.
Jackson frowned. “Did I?” He considered the statement. “I don’t think so. It’s true I didn’t want him to be a failure. I could see so much potential in him. I thought if I were out of the way, he could reach that potential. It was my father’s idea. He would take the boys and I...” The old man shrugged. “It was a long time ago. I took the easy way out. Later, I wondered if I should have stayed. But there’s no going back now, is there?”
Noelle didn’t know what to say. This was not how Dev told the story and since he had no reason to lie, she could only assume he’d repeated what he’d heard. His father’s leaving had been his grandfather’s idea?
“Dev’s all I have left,” Jackson continued. “I came as soon as I heard about Jimmy.”
Noelle instinctively touched her stomach. There was more than Dev, but this wasn’t the time to get into that.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” she said automatically.
“Did you know him?” Jackson asked hopefully. “He was so young when I left. What was he like?”
She thought about all she knew about Jimmy and decided that there was no reason for his father to have all the details. “He was funny and charming and far too young to die,” she said quietly. “Even in the service of his country.”
Jackson seemed to age right before her eyes. “My baby boy is gone.” His voice shook as he spoke. Then he cleared his throat and straightened. “I’ve bothered you enough. I’ll be leaving now.”
“You can’t go,” Noelle said impulsively. “Please, stay. My fifteen-year-old sister has just run away from home and settled here, so you’ll have to put up with shrieking girls and loud music. But we have a pool house that is comfortable and a little away from all the action. Let me show you.”
Thirty minutes later Jackson Hunter had carried his two suitcases into the pool house and changed into worn swim trunks and a T-shirt. He joined the girls by the pool where he stunned them all by knowing the words to the song blaring from the radio.
“He’s not staying,” Dev said, coming up to stand beside her in the kitchen as she prepared sandwiches for lunch.
“He’s your father.”
“That’s a technicality.”
“He’s your family. He’s old and he’s here to make amends.”
“That’s not possible.”
She looked at Dev. “Sometimes you are so pigheaded, I just want to shake you. Have you ever considered there are things you don’t know that might change everything?” She hesitated, not sure if she should share what she’d been told, then figured it couldn’t make things worse. “Your father left because he believed you had a future,” she said, then explained what Jackson had told her.
“It wasn’t my grandfather’s idea,” he said heatedly, when she’d finished.
“Why would your father lie?”
“To make himself look better.”
“Calling himself a failure makes him look really good, right?”
Dev frowned. “He wasn’t a failure. He worked at the company until he left. He provided for us. He didn’t fail.”
“Funny how he thinks he did. And that’s before he walked out on his two kids. Imagine how he feels now.”
He narrowed his gaze. “Don’t get in the middle of this, Noelle.”
“I’ll do my best not to,” she said. “In return, maybe you could keep an open mind.”
Dev swore. “He’s been here less than an hour and he’s getting to you. Let’s cut to the chase. The man walked out on his two children right after their mother died. How am I supposed to forgive that?”
“I don’t know,” she told him. “Maybe you start by listening.”
* * *
THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY afternoon Dev found himself invaded by yet more of Tiffany’s friends. There was a chick-flick movie fest going on in the family room and way too much sugar happening in the kitchen. Noelle was at her study group and he couldn’t seem to concentrate on the work he’d brought home.
If it had been Jimmy instead of Tiffany, he would have ordered everyone out and enjoyed the subsequent silence. But as his relationship with his brother had gone so badly, he decided to ignore his instincts. Which left him restless, with nowhere to go.
As he couldn’t stand one more shriek of laughter or the off-tone music from an erupting cell phone, he walked outside, only to be faced by the pool house. His father had been in residence nearly a week and Dev had managed to avoid the man completely. Maybe it was ti
me to change that.
But when he approached the pool house he was surprised to see the door open and Bob, Noelle’s father, sitting on the sofa.
“Dev,” Bob said, spotting him before he could escape. “We were just talking about you.”
“I’ll bet,” Dev said, then stepped inside. “Sir.”
He shook hands with his father-in-law and nodded at his own father.
“Noelle called me a couple of days ago and asked me to stop by,” Bob said. “She seemed to think I might have some insight.”
Dev wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Noelle hadn’t discussed contacting her father with him, but then they weren’t having all that many conversations these days.
“Son.” His father stood and motioned to the small refrigerator in the corner of what was basically a game room/studio apartment. “Can I get you something to drink?”
Several sofas and a large-screen TV dominated the space. There was a Murphy bed against one wall, a kitchenette and a full bathroom.
“I’m good,” Dev said, wishing he’d never come out here. Now there was no way to politely escape. He sat across from his father, on the same sofa as Bob.
“Your dad was just telling me about his travels,” Bob said easily. “He spent a lot of time in the South Pacific.”
“Is that where you went?” Dev asked, not really interested in the details.
“Mostly. I worked in hotels. Ran tours, managed a bar for a while. I moved around a lot. I was never very good at staying in one place.”
He made the statement deliberately, as if daring Dev to comment. Dev didn’t respond.
Jackson continued, “I realized I was looking for roots, when I’d already left them behind.”
Dev fought against feeling any emotion, even when a surge of anger swept through him. Leaving roots behind? Is that how his father characterized leaving two children right after their mother had died?
Bob picked up his can of soda. “A lot of people go looking for what they’ve already had and lost.”
Jackson looked at Dev. “I’m sorry I left, son. I know the words won’t mean much, but I’m speaking from the heart. You and Jimmy were...”
Jimmy! Dev stiffened. “You know what happened to Jimmy?”
“I heard,” his father told him. “Not through the military, of course. You were his next of kin. But I kept in touch with a few friends here and there and they got me word.”
Dev had never felt so torn in his life. Part of him ached with the realization that a man had lost a son, while the rest of him hated Jackson Hunter for keeping in touch with his friends but not his boys.
“There you are,” Noelle said from the door of the pool house. “I came home to a houseful of teenagers and not another adult in sight. It was a little scary.”
“You’re back,” Dev said as he jumped to his feet. He’d never been so grateful for an interruption before in his life.
He crossed to her and pulled her close, then kissed her. “I missed you.”
She smiled quizzically. “I guess you did. I’ll have to go away more so I can get greetings like this again. Hi, Dad. Jackson. How’s it going?”
“Good. I should probably be heading home in a few minutes. Your mother’s making a pot roast tonight and I never miss one of those.”
“I remember.” Noelle wrinkled her nose. “I should do a head count for dinner, myself.”
“Want some help?” Dev asked.
Her blue eyes seemed to see more than they should, but he didn’t care. Anything to get out of this conversation.
“Sure,” she said. “Assuming we can be heard over the movie. It’s so loud in there. You know, you’re allowed to tell them to turn it down. Jackson, want to join us?”
So far his father had avoided meals with the family, but this time, he nodded. “Sure.”
“Good.” Noelle took Dev’s hand and turned toward the house. “Give me a couple of hours to get myself together. Say six?”
“Sounds good.”
“Okay. Daddy, come in and say goodbye before you leave.”
“Will do.”
With that, Dev and Noelle made their way toward the house.
“Are you angry that I asked my dad over?” she asked when they were by the French doors leading inside. Even from out here, he could hear the loud soundtrack on the movie.
“No. Having a third party around is a good idea.”
She stared into his eyes. “He’s just an old man, Dev. He’s not the devil.”
“I’m having trouble reconciling the two thoughts. He lost a son. I never got that before and I feel bad for him.”
“But?”
“But he admitted he’d kept in touch with friends in the area. Why the hell would he be in contact with them and not us? We’re his children. He just walked, Noelle. I don’t care whose idea it was. He just walked.”
She surprised him by leaning forward and wrapping her arms around him. “I know,” she whispered. “I really like him, but then I think about what he did to you and it’s awful. I know I said you should reconcile and I still believe that. It’s the only way to heal those wounds inside, but it’s not going to be easy. I guess we were never promised easy, huh?”
Instead of answering, he bent down and kissed her. Her lips were soft and yielding and she returned the kiss with enough passion to make him resent every person standing between him and some serious private time with the woman in his arms.
“I want you,” he breathed when they came up for air.
Her mouth quivered. “You haven’t wanted me for a long time.”
He rubbed his thumb against her lower lip. “You’re wrong. I always want you. I haven’t acted on it.”
“Why?”
Suddenly he wasn’t sure. “Things were complicated.”
“They always will be,” she told him. “I didn’t ask you to stay away.”
“Then I won’t.”
“Good.” She looked into the family room and sighed. “I need to go take care of that,” she said. “Want to come along for a good screaming?”
“Sure.” He didn’t care about the screaming, but he was interested in how Noelle would handle the situation.
She walked into the house and paused. The volume was so loud, the walls shook. When she moved forward, she bent down, grabbed the remote and hit the pause button.
All seven girls turned to stare at her.
“Let’s be reasonable about the volume,” she said into the silence. “Who’s staying for dinner?”
Two girls raised their hands.
“I want names and phone numbers,” she said. “I’ll be calling home to verify it’s all right.”
“Noelle,” Tiffany protested. “Can’t we just have fun?”
“Apparently not,” her sister said cheerfully. She looked at her watch. “It’s nearly four. Everyone not staying to dinner will be gone by five. For the rest of you, dinner is at six, and curfew is at nine.”
Tiffany groaned. “You’re such a pain.”
“I know, and being a pain is the highlight of my day. Everyone understand?”
The other girls nodded. The two staying for dinner stood and followed Noelle into the kitchen, where Dev knew she would make good on her word and check with their parents. Tiffany’s friends who weren’t hanging around pulled out cell phones and began to make calls to ask to be picked up.
He walked into the kitchen, where she was dialing the phone.
“When did you get so good at this?” he asked.
“I took a class.”
“I’m serious.”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I watched my mom handle things. I try to think about what she would have done.”
Too bad her mother hadn’t been around when he’d be
en screwing things up with Jimmy. Maybe then his brother wouldn’t be dead. Of course, if Jimmy were still alive then he, Dev, wouldn’t be married to Noelle. Despite everything, he couldn’t actually say he didn’t want to be with her. Which meant he was in more trouble than he’d thought.
* * *
NOELLE CAME OUT of the bathroom that night and found Dev sitting up in bed. Since she’d declared her love for him and he’d walked out, they’d slept in the same room, but he’d made sure they never went to bed at the same time. He always came in after she was asleep and was gone before she got up.
She paused in the doorway. “You’re not working late tonight?”
“No.”
Did that mean what she thought it meant? Anticipation fluttered inside of her. She loved him and desired him in equal measures. Having things unsettled between them had been painful. She wanted to be in his arms so much, but at the same time, she was afraid. So much of their relationship confused her. Was it right to give herself to him, knowing he didn’t return her feelings?
Then he smiled at her. The curve of his lips was both apology and invitation. Her gaze dropped to his bare chest and she wondered if he’d pulled on boxers or if he wore nothing at all.
Maybe walking away was the smart thing to do, but Noelle chose to follow her heart. She walked the few steps to the bed, then climbed between the cool sheets.
Dev reached for her and pulled her against his body.
Naked, she thought as need poured through her. Naked and already hard. How was she supposed to resist that?
“Do you want to do this?” he asked as he gazed into her eyes. “I’ll stop if you ask me to.”
“Now why would I do a really stupid thing like that?”
He lowered his head and kissed her. She parted and his tongue swept inside, exploring her, arousing her, making her squirm with need.
Her leg brushed against his arousal. She reached down and traced the hard line of his thigh, then slipped between his legs until she could take him in her hand.
Velvet on steel. She’d read that in a book once and had giggled, alone in her room. But now she got the description completely. The skin was so soft, but underneath that thin layer was a hardness that made her ache to be claimed. She wanted to part her legs and demand that he take her right then. Only if she did that, she would miss out on all the good stuff between now and then. It was not an easy decision to make.
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