by Kaye Draper
But all that loosening up had pros and cons. By the time they got back home, Grey’s defenses were lowered…like to the ground, lowered. All his carefully constructed walls were demolished. Luca didn’t want to be “that guy” and take advantage of Grey’s drunken state. But Gods, it was amazing when Grey just let himself think and say and do what he wanted without all the doubt and fear.
They ended up in Luca’s room, where Grey just kept teasing him and he couldn’t be blamed for pulling Grey in, sinking his fingers into that thick, silky brown hair and devouring that beautiful, wicked mouth. Grey tilted his head back and opened to him, wordlessly begging for Luca to deepen the kiss. He still tasted faintly like the lemon drop shots he’d had at the bar, tart and sweet all at once. Luca was addicted to the taste.
“Grey,” he said, pulling back a bit and trying to override his own buzzed horniness long enough to make sure he wasn’t being a complete asshole. “Are you sure—”
Grey pressed in closer, gripping Luca’s hips, going up on his tiptoes to suck and nibble at Luca’s throat. He let out a little pleading sound against Luca’s skin that went right to Luca’s dick. As if he could ever tell Grey no when he wanted something.
Luca’s hand skated up under Grey’s t-shirt, skimming across Grey’s smooth, taut skin, drawing his hand around from the small of Grey’s back to his stomach, feeling Grey's abs tense beneath his touch. He traced soft kisses down Grey's throat as his fingers trailed over Grey’s slightly cold golden skin. Grey’s breathing became erratic. His hands fisted in the back of Luca’s t-shirt, like he was holding on for dear life.
“Luca,” Grey pleaded, eyes half hooded and his plush lips damp from Luca’s kiss, color burning high on his cheekbones. “I need…I…please?”
Luca could feel exactly what Grey needed, even through the alcohol haze. He could feel Grey’s magic tugging at his own, hungry and demanding. A sane person would probably run away.
Sanity was overrated. Luca’s questing hand moved lower, his palm pressing against Grey’s fly, cupping around Grey’s massive cock. Yeah. Definitely not sane. Grey froze, not quite pushing him away. Still waiting for me to freak out and call a halt to proceedings, Luca thought. Still thinking I can’t possibly want you. He bent and pressed a kiss to those sweet lips. “I love you,” he whispered, repeating himself as he trailed kisses along Grey’s jaw and down to his throat. “Always. No matter what.”
Grey’s mind might still be making up reasons for him to object, but at least his body was honest. Luca felt the huge, rock-hard bulge straining beneath his hand, recalled Grey’s admission about his difficulties with the pretty doctor, and grinned against his soft lips. Grey might come up with excuses, but at least his body was honest.
Grey’s sparkling green eyes were wide, and he clutched at Luca, holding tight as Luca knelt and undid his fly with shaking fingers. Gods, he was the most beautiful creature Luca had ever seen, human or otherwise.
Luca couldn’t explain his own reactions to Grey. He still thought girls were hot. He never felt the urge to ogle other men. But Grey was like candy to him—something rich and sweet and irresistible. It didn’t matter what the package looked like. Though, in this case the package was definitely something.
Grey slipped his fingers through Luca’s hair, cradling his head as he bent close. Luca had no idea what he was doing—so far, they hadn’t moved past kisses and hand jobs—and he prayed Grey would be too buzzed to notice his lack of skills.
“You don’t have to do this.” Grey's beautiful voice was unusually rough, breathy with desire. Luca could feel him trembling with the force of it, his words contradicting the sharp, eager pull of his hungry magic.
Luca glanced upward at Grey's flushed face and passion-drunk eyes, chuckling at the idiot. “No,” he agreed. “I don’t have to. I want to.” Then he gripped Grey’s cock and slowly pulled back the foreskin, bending his head to press just the damp tip between his lips for a taste, determined to figure it out. Didn’t Grey understand? Luca would do anything for him. For them. Because no matter what Grey kept thinking, Luca wanted this man more than he wanted air, or water, or the comforting touch of the ocean.
Grey’s fingers stroked through his hair again as he slowly slid his lips down the length of Grey’s massive cock. Grey clutched at him and let out a breathy moan, and Luca was lost. He pushed Grey down on the bed and got to work, chasing more of those sounds, reveling in the way Grey slowly came undone under his touch. When Grey came, Luca drank him down without thinking, lost in the sensation of Grey drawing on him, pulling from him like another form of climax.
Luca was in so much trouble. But he really couldn’t find it in himself to care. Or to tell Grey. The beautiful man was neurotic enough about making Luca switch teams. What would he do if he ever found out he fed from Luca every time they had sex?
Chapter 44
Grey sat in one of the stiff, modern-chic chairs arranged in a semi-circle around a wooden table. The interviewer was a woman from the mainland, so they were borrowing a conference room at the recording studio.
Her Generation was a magazine targeted at twenty-something women. The men of the hot new band Lucifer were going to be front cover material for their special holiday edition. It was a really big deal.
Grey thought he might puke from nerves—that, or the hangover he was nursing. Luca was such a deviant, getting him drunk just so he could take advantage of him!
Not that he really minded. Even being half drunk at the time didn’t erase the memory of Luca’s soft lips wrapped around his cock. Crap. Now was not the time to wander off into kinky daydreams. What the hell was wrong with him?
Grey caught himself before he could run a frustrated hand through his hair. Brian had spent two hours fussing over their hair and makeup this morning. Grey hadn’t primped this much when he was a teenage girl!
They talked about the usual things during the interview—the band’s roots here on the island, their new song, what it was like to be suddenly famous.
The woman asked indirectly if any of the band members had once been female, but they gave her the runaround like usual. George’s stand was that the mystery was better publicity than the truth. He was probably right, though he didn’t know about Grey’s secret. Finding out that the lead singer was a girl in a guy’s body was bound to lose them even more followers than finding out that two of the members were gay. Grey suppressed an eye roll at the thought.
The interview was wrapping up when the inevitable question came up. “So,” the reporter said with a flirtatious smile. “Are any of you taken?”
Ethan blushed and looked adorable as he shook his head, surprising Grey with an adorably mumbled “I wish,” but the reporter couldn’t get any more out of him about his supposed crush.
When it was his turn, Matheus just winked at the interviewer and said, “Not yet. But soon. I’m still working on it.” Implying he was working his wicked ways on someone.
All true to character. George would probably prefer if they just said they were single. But Grey could see where this would make people more interested.
Luca was obviously peeved that he couldn’t just declare his undying love for Grey right then and there, but he hid it under a cool act. He brushed his silky hair out of his eyes and said, “I haven’t found a woman who’s right for me.”
True, Grey supposed. It wasn’t like Grey was a woman anymore. And why the hell did Grey feel so smug about Luca’s little statement?
The woman blushed under Luca’s intense blue gaze. She didn’t realize that it was just anger. She probably thought he was smoldering. To be fair, the expressions were kind of similar on the darkly handsome guy.
She turned to Grey next and he was pulled out of his wandering thoughts. “How about you, Grey?” She tapped a polished nail on her notebook. “Surely you have a girlfriend?”
He just smiled. “Nope. Like Luca said, I haven’t found the right girl yet.” Or ever. Grey willed himself not to look at Luca. He knew Luca was agai
nst keeping their relationship a secret, but Grey couldn’t bear to see the band fail because of his selfishness.
Chapter 45
Grey knelt on the knobby rug the guys had spread out under the Christmas tree in the main living area at the townhouse. The tree was a homely, fake thing whose branches were beginning to thin. Ethan had artistically arranged the wire branches, bending them to point at angles never seen in nature. The tree had spent previous holidays in each band member's garage, with the guys slowly adding random ornaments to it each Christmas. They had all looked absolutely mortally wounded when Grey asked about getting a new tree. Clearly, the poor thing would be a Lucifer tradition even once every last wiry branch had lost its last fake pine needle. There was probably a theme to it, but nothing Grey could wrap his mind around. He carefully added his own ornament, a bronze star brushed with dark paint to make it look antiqued. It swung merrily between a Charlie brown ornament and the Millennium Falcon.
“When you add a new ornament to the tree, you have to make a wish for the coming year,” Luca said, squatting down to shove a lumpy package under the poor tree.
Ethan spoke around a mouthful of popcorn ball. “My wish was for Santa to bring me a new drum set.” He looked mournfully at the small pile of presents under the tree.
Mat snorted. “Wish for something you could actually use.” He dodged a handful of popcorn that came flying at his head and continued. “Man, I just want to get off this stinking rock long enough to get laid.” His hazel eyes met Grey’s then slid away, probably thinking about how a couple of his bandmates might not have that problem anymore.
Ethan grinned, but it seemed forced and he gave his tattoo a little rub through his cable-knit sweater. “Maybe this year Santa will bring back boobs.” He glanced at Grey and his expression warmed. “What about you, Grey? What do you want for Christmas?”
Grey nodded and kept his attention on the present in his hand. “You’re right. It would be great if The Change was finally reversed.”
Luca took the package from Grey and put it with the rest of the gifts under the tree. “People keep hoping for some miracle cure. But things are fine the way they are.”
Grey felt Luca’s eyes on him but didn’t look up. He was afraid everything he was thinking would show on his face. His chest hurt. Luca was right—if The Change was reversed, Grey wouldn’t fit in here anymore. And the guys would probably be pissed that he and Luca had kept Grey’s morph status a secret. You never knew how people were going to react to things like that. People you assumed were normal and logical could be complete assholes when they found out someone was different. It could destroy the band. Not to mention…sexual preferences aside, Luca might hate Grey as a woman. He was completely different now than he had been, looks-wise and personality.
Matheus snorted at Luca, his hazel eyes narrowing. “You’re an idiot.”
Luca shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to how things are now. Maybe you’ll meet some hot tourist and convince her to settle down here.” He quirked a grin at Matheus. “Or a guy. I know you’ve probably fucked your way through everyone on the island by now, but maybe you’ll find someone new when they lift the quarantine.”
Mat lifted one elegant hand and flipped him off.
Grey sighed. “The government will never let anyone move here. We’re all trapped. It would be better if things just went back to normal.”
He did meet Luca’s eyes then. Those dark blue orbs bored into him and he felt like Luca was looking into his soul. “What if that never happens?” Luca said quietly.
Grey couldn’t look away. “Then things will just stay exactly how they are now.” All the morphs struggling to fit in, never feeling like they had a place in the world. Loving someone that was completely incompatible. Luca and Grey would never be able to tell anyone about their secret relationship for fear of upsetting the band.
Luca moved toward him, just slightly—the thought before the action. His posture was tense, as if he was about to grab Grey and make him see sense. God, Grey wanted him to. He wanted Luca to show him that he was fine with things the way they were. Fine with him the way he was. Grey wanted Luca to burn it into his nerve endings with his touch, so he never forgot.
“Luca, you sick or something?” Ethan’s voice jarred them both. For a minute there, it had only been Luca and Grey in the room...in the whole world.
Luca relaxed, shifting back away from Grey, and gave Ethan a wry look. “I don’t know. Maybe I ate too many popcorn balls.”
Grey stood a little too quickly and whirled to find Matheus regarding him with one eyebrow lifted. Mat had never brought it up, but Grey remembered all too well the surprised look on his face that day in the bar—when he'd seen Luca pinning Grey to the wall. “What?” Grey said, stepping away from Luca. “I don’t want him hurling popcorn on me.”
“Come over here,” Ethan patted the couch beside him and smiled, warm and inviting, waggling a magazine at Grey. “Check this out!”
Grey was relieved to have the excuse to get away from Luca. He plopped down next to Ethan and did his best to listen to the enthusiastic blond’s description of the shiny red set pictured in the magazine. It was hard to concentrate because he kept thinking of how differently they would treat him if they knew he was a girl.
Ethan's thigh pressed along his as he leaned in to show Grey something in the magazine, and a weird feeling of possession washed over Grey. He had the sudden urge to move closer, to lean into Ethan’s warmth.
He shifted instinctively, putting space between them. What the hell? Clearly, he was still way too on edge from his between-the-lines conversation with Luca. Ethan reached across him to get his pop off the coffee table, leaning across Grey’s lap in a way that shouldn’t have Grey immediately wanting to grab the nape of his neck and pull him closer. What the fuck?
The familiar rushing sound filled his head and he had trouble breathing.
Luca handed the soda to Ethan, and Grey glanced up to find the guitarist watching him with a stormy expression. Grey refused to feel bad about…whatever he was supposed to be feeling bad about. It wasn’t like Luca knew he was having impure thoughts about his bandmates. No, Luca was probably still pissed over their disagreement over The Change being reversed. He shrugged and sat back, legs spread wide, one foot propped up on the coffee table. Then, he arched an eyebrow at Luca in his best Matheus impersonation. What?
Luca turned and grabbed his coat off the back of a chair. “I’m gonna get going. You want a ride home, Grey, or do you have a drum fetish too now?”
Grey sat up with a sigh. “I’ll walk home later.”
Luca didn’t look at him. “It’s eighteen degrees outside and the wind chill is about minus twenty. The wind’s blowing so hard a scrawny runt like you would never make it.”
Grey glared mutiny at Luca’s broad, wool-clad back. But Luca was right. It was freezing outside; way colder than it usually was this time of year. Even Grey, with his weird body temp issues, would freeze his nuts off. “Fine.”
Matheus glanced between them, then addressed Ethan in an exaggerated whisper. “Are they having a lover’s quarrel?”
Ethan choked on his pop. “I don’t know. Luca, dude, I didn’t know were into guys now.” He turned in his seat, pulling his leg up to face Grey and giving him one of those blindingly sweet smiles. “Are you guys dating now?”
It couldn’t really be that easy. Could it? Grey’s heart thundered in his chest and he couldn’t think straight. Should they just tell them, since Mat and Ethan really didn’t seem to care? Or were they just joking?
Luca threw Grey’s coat at him with more force than strictly necessary. “C’mon. Hurry up before we start losing IQ points. It’s getting stupid in here.”
Grey shrugged into his coat and slugged Ethan in the shoulder. “Shut up. You’re just going to make him even bitchier.”
They left to snorts of laughter. The others thought it was funny. It was funny and to insinuate that their friends were dating. Like it was somet
hing that couldn’t ever possibly be true. And well, they were right. Or at least they had been until Grey had come along and ruined Luca with his morph homo cooties.
Still, maybe Grey was being too sensitive. Matheus and the others had hinted at Mat being bi lots of times in the past. And Ethan hadn’t sounded mocking. He’d sounded…curious. Like he was just asking a damned question and both Grey and Luca had way overreacted. Damn it, they were being so obvious about this when they were supposed to be keeping their relationship a secret. If the guys didn’t suspect they were hooking up, they’d have to be completely blind.
Luca drove in sullen silence. Grey thought for sure the guitarist wouldn’t speak at all, which was fine by him. Grey had no idea what to say to him anyway. He cringed when Luca’s deep voice finally shattered the silence.
“We should tell them.” His voice was flat, and he kept his eyes on the road.
Grey shook his head. “Tell them what? That I used to be a girl and that you like guys? That their singer and their guitarist spend their spare time getting naked together? I’m sure they’d love that.”
He sighed. “You know, first of all, they won’t care. Mat’s bi and we have somehow still tolerated his presence all these years.” He rolled his eyes. “Secondly, I don’t give a flying fuck what they think! I just don’t like keeping secrets from them. They’re my closest friends—we’re like brothers.”
Grey tugged at his seatbelt, pulling it away from his neck. “Well I care. I don’t want to be the reason you guys fall apart. I don’t like secrets any more than you do, but we all have them. You say they’re like brothers, but I don’t exactly see you rushing off to tell everyone else you know all about us.” Though, Cam already pretty much knew. Grey tried for sarcastic humor “Fuck…you didn’t tell your dad, did you? What did he say? Is he going to murder me for turning you gay?” He was only half joking. Luca’s dad was weirdly intense.
