by Kaye Draper
“Now,” Pontus said at last, stowing the liquor. “Grey.”
Luca nodded. “His power felt...dangerous. This is the first time I’ve really felt it directed at me.”
Pontus shook his head. “I did warn you, dear child.”
Luca glared. “Just…don’t fuck with me right now.” His tongue felt a little numb.
Pontus laughed. “As you wish, dove. Your lover is descended from a very powerful siren who decided that the gods had no power over her. She turned her back on them and on her own people, and struck out on her own, eventually deciding that she would deny her powers and shack up with a human man. When that didn’t go as planned, she left him, borrowed power from her fellow sirens, and cursed the entire female population of the island on which he lived, including her own daughter.”
Luca rolled his eyes and made a get on with it gesture. He’d already figured out all that. Pontus nodded patiently. “Just a character description, if you will. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Your Grey is, by my observation, stubborn, independent, willful, and completely hot-headed, despite his cold-blooded nature.”
Luca laughed. Maybe he needed more whiskey. “And?”
Pontus grinned, but it faded quickly. “Bad enough on its own. But his power would have been tempered by his humanity, had that been pure.”
Luca frowned in confusion. “Come again?”
Pontus kicked back in his chair and stared at the ceiling with his hands behind his head. There were stars painted on the domed ceiling, gold against a deep midnight blue background. “My money is on her father. I think that man has a history he’s not aware of.”
Luca nodded, finally catching up. “You think he isn’t one hundred percent human? But the guy loathes her mother because of her supernatural abilities.”
Pontus continued to stare at the stars. “Maybe, but wouldn’t you after all that? Besides, I don’t think he knows. He doesn’t seem to demonstrate any non-human tendencies. It was probably further back in their bloodline. A distant relative. But sometimes these things skip a few generations or just mix the wrong way between different bloodlines...magic can be finicky that way.”
He leveled his blue gaze at Luca. It had the vast weight of the oceans behind it. “Whatever that tinge of something…else...is, it’s dark, Luca. Dark and old. I can taste it on the kid, like a familiar poison. I know that bloodline. I've encountered it before...I just can't recall when or where.”
Luca left the study feeling no better than when he’d entered. Grey’s heritage was even more of a mystery than he had guessed. His powers probably even more unpredictable than they’d guessed. Just great. Though, at least there was a reason for him to be so strong. Luca wondered just what else was running through Grey’s veins, but he supposed it wasn’t truly important at this point.
He was just going to have to be more careful, guard himself against Grey’s pull a little more. He rolled his eyes. Yeah. Guard himself around Grey. Like that was ever going to happen. He couldn’t do anything other than give all of himself. He wondered at the part of him that didn’t care if he was enslaved—was that something created by Grey’s power, or was Luca simply so deep in love that it didn’t matter?
Chapter 67
Grey twirled a golden seedpod between his fingers. The weather was a mess. Fall had come when it was still summer, and no one had really noticed the gradual slide into early winter. Now that the winter cold lingered into spring, they were starting to notice. But what scientific explanation would the humans prescribe to the permanent winter that had come to the island? They would find one, Grey was sure, something convoluted and barely possible. And they would assign that as the cause, rather than looking around them, rather than daring to believe in the impossible.
“Gods.” Grey snorted and flicked a seed loose from its casing. His butt was going numb from sitting out here in the cold, looking at the sea, but he didn't care. He wanted to drink in the last bit of the sense of safety that always seemed to reside at Pontus' house before he had to go back out into the real world.
Luca looked at him, one dark, pierced brow arched in question. “Hmm?”
Grey let out a frustrated breath. “Gods exist,” he said slowly. “I know that. I’ve met your dad. And I believe what you’ve told me about him.” He ran a thumbnail down the outside of the seed pod, bump, bump, bump, until he got to the missing seed. Then his finger stroked the gap, as if he could put it back, restore its perfection…or hide the flaw.
“That sea sprite said something about the gods being obsessed with humans because we have souls…and your dad said something like that too.”
Luca’s dark eyes met Grey's, and a hint of power swirled through them. The subject seemed to make him uncomfortable, but he was trying to hide it. Grey couldn’t fathom why. Maybe it was just the natural fear that arose when people talked about mortality.
Luca’s long fingers were still curled around his knees, as if he was purposefully resisting the urge to fidget—unlike Grey, who just let himself have at it like a crazy person. “Humans are born with souls,” Luca said calmly. “But gods aren't. And they envy that.”
Grey raised his eyebrows. “So you’re telling me you think Pontus—your own father—doesn't have a soul?”
Luca shrugged. “No, I’m telling you I know he doesn’t.”
Grey blinked at him, taken aback. “So…when he dies…?”
Luca laughed. “Having a soul…as far as I can see, doesn’t have anything to do with heaven or hell. Those are human concepts, made up by humans to comfort themselves because they can’t see beyond their short, hard existence.” His eyes softened. “Life is hard. It helps to think that there is something better waiting once this is all over. And to think that those who do wrong will be punished, while those who do good will be rewarded. It masks the pain of knowing that life isn't always logical, or fair.”
Grey let out a slow breath. He wasn’t particularly religious, but still, it was hard to wrap his head around. “So what really happens, when we die?”
Luca waved a hand airily. “I have no idea. Pontus won’t tell me, if he even knows himself. Which he might not.”
“So if gods don’t have souls, how are they even alive?”
Luca settled in against the rock Grey was perched on, leaning his back against it and resting a hand on Grey’s knee. “The gods arose from the earth and the elements. They’re made of the colossal energy of the wind, the seas, the sun…their power isn’t contained in a vessel the way the human spirit is. They don’t have power; they are made of power.” He patted Grey’s knee, as if he knew that Grey’s head was starting to hurt. “If Pontus’s body were destroyed, he wouldn’t die. It might take him a while, depending on the damage, but eventually the elements that made him would re-form. He’s immortal. They all are. Made of the air and the sunlight, of fire, or rainbows, or whatever it may be.”
Grey grinned as he tried to envision a god of rainbows and how different she might be than in mythology. “Okay, so I get that, more or less. But what about humans? If the gods are so special…what in the world do they care about humans? Arianna seemed jealous of us.”
Luca nodded. “She’s jealous of the attention humans get.” He gazed out over the sea. “Most gods are driven by logic or random whims. They don’t have the ability to feel genuine emotions quite the way humans do—though I’ve heard that being around humans long enough can kind of…rub off. Having a soul is what allows a person to love, to hate, to feel passion, or create a masterpiece. To the gods, these things are incomprehensible. Some of them are fascinated by humans because they’re so fragile, but yet they get to experience all these wondrous emotions.” He shrugged and Grey watched the fabric of his jacket move over his broad shoulders. “Gods have children, though I don’t exactly know why—most can’t really feel love, so maybe it’s from boredom or curiosity. Anyway, they do have children, but they don’t show them a great deal of affection. Most are abandoned. And the children of the gods...that�
��s where you get your lesser deities and your plain old supernatural creatures.”
“Sirens,” Grey guessed.
Luca nodded. “Yep. Daughters of Poseidon and a demigoddess.” He waved at the water. “Arianna was likely raised by other sirens. She probably never even heard so much as a ‘how’s it going’ from either of her parents.”
Grey sighed. “Ouch.” He took Luca’s hand, which had begun to draw lazy circles on his knee. “What about us? I mean, I’m pretty sure I have a soul. I’ve got a human parent. And you certainly know how to feel passion.” He waggled his eyebrows. “So I think you’re pretty souled yourself.”
Luca nodded. “Probably.” Grey was surprised to realize that Luca didn’t seem too thrilled about it the idea. You’d think having a soul would be a good thing.
“Sometimes even a god or a supernatural can gain remnants of a soul.” Luca's dark eyes met Grey’s and his voice was almost apologetic. “If a supernatural spends a long time in close contact with a human, it’s rumored that they can feel echoes of a soul.” He squeezed Grey’s hand. “Pontus…he thinks that’s the reason your mom’s gone nutty. She lived with a human for years, but more than that, she carried a living human inside her. Her body and yours were one entity when your soul was born. That had to have affected her somehow.”
Grey stared at him. “You think I gave her some of my soul?”
He sighed. “Who knows? It’s possible she got something from the interaction. Look at how crazy jealous she is. It could just be the natural honor-scorned crap that the gods do from time to time…but I don’t think so. She acts almost human sometimes—or like someone who feels human things but doesn’t know how to deal with it.”
Luca sighed. “It doesn’t matter, I suppose. It just interests me, you know?”
Grey stared into his stormy eyes. “Do you worry that you don’t have a soul?”
Luca closed his eyes, but he shook his head. “No. I know I do. And I think my old man has a touch more emotion in him than he should if he were truly soulless—maybe from being around my mom, and Cam, and me.”
His eyes opened again. “But I worry about…other things sometimes.”
Grey frowned at him. “Like what?”
Luca looked at him but couldn’t seem to find words. Instead, he turned so that he knelt between Grey’s knees and pulled him down for a kiss. He held Grey’s face in his palms as if he held something infinitely fragile. Grey was puzzled for a moment, but slowly it seeped in. He could feel the tenderness and the edge of desperation in Luca’s touch, in the way his full lips claimed Grey’s.
It took a lot of willpower, but Grey managed to break away. “Luca.”
Luca shook his head. “It’s nothing, come here.” He reached for Grey again, but Grey pulled back.
“No. Tell me. You’re afraid there’s something wrong with me. Is that it? Do you think I don’t have a soul? Like…maybe Arianna stole it from me or something? How could you think that, Luca?”
Grey was revving up. He could feel his blood pressure rising and his cheeks growing hot. Luca had just told him Pontus didn’t have a soul, and Grey knew Pontus was a good man. So why was it such a big deal of Grey was lacking a bit of his soul, anyway?
Luca reached out and grabbed Grey's shoulders, stilling his need to stand up and punch something. His big hands squeezed. His eyes really were swirling now—grays, and blues, and sea-green—and Grey could feel a buzz of energy between them, like a low hum. “Would you just calm down?” Luca breathed.
Snow was beginning to fall, the fat, puffy flakes driven inward by the harsh wind over the water. Even here, in the milder bubble that sheltered Pontus’ domain, it was still winter. Luca shook him lightly. “I’m not worried about your soul, moron. If anything you’ve got an excess!” He smiled wryly, probably thinking how quick Grey was to anger, and to passion. “It’s just…. Well, I didn’t want to talk to you about this because I don’t want you to be upset.” He sighed. “Damn it.”
Luca’s eyes searched Grey’s urgently. “I’m half human, but I’m also half god. No one really knows how that will turn out. Results may vary.” He gave a tremulous smile at the joke. “But…well, I haven’t really aged in the last couple years or so, as far as we can tell. I…who knows how long I might live?” His hands dug into Grey’s shoulders. “But you…” he looked close to tears. “Grey, I just don’t know how long I’ll have with you, and it scares me.” Grey watched in surprise as a tear finally escaped and rolled across those high cheekbones. “It terrifies me sometimes, alright? I’ve never been so attached to someone, and I honestly feel like I’d die if I lost you. And once the thought occurred to me…well…I’m being an idiot, I know. But it gets to me sometimes. At first, it wasn’t even really a consideration, you know? Because who knows how things will turn out with The Change and all that. Maybe you won’t even want me in another week or another month. But things feel real lately. More permanent. Like maybe you’d stick around even if everything went back to normal?”
Grey was finding it hard to breathe. “You mean…you want to keep me.” Sure, that made him sound like a stray dog, but yeah, kinda accurate. “But…because your dad is a primordial god…and my mom is…not…you think we might not have as long together?”
Luca shook his head. “Your mom’s powerful, and there's just something about you…but she’s not a god. Pontus has been around since the dawn of time. He’s the father of her father’s fathers….”
He was rambling now. Grey clapped a hand over that beautiful mouth. “Stop it.” He said calmly. “Would you just let me think? Maybe get a word in?”
Luca’s tearful blue eyes watched him from over Grey’s hand. And it was so jarring. Because Luca never worried about anything. “Frankly, I hadn’t even thought about my life span. I just assumed I would live and die like a human. It’s kind of freaky to think that I might not.” Grey sighed. “Sucks to know you’ll outlive me…but then, that could have happened anyway right? I mean, if we were both full human, we could still get sick or get struck by lightning or something….” He let out a humorless laugh. “Or The Change could get reversed and you could realize you aren’t into me anymore. I mean, seriously, Luca, the old me was not anything like…this.”
Luca pried Grey’s hand away from his mouth. “How can you be so blasé about it? Grey…first of all, you might live as long as I do…or longer. Maybe I got more human than god.” He clasped Grey’s hands between his own. “But what I’m saying is, I can’t stand to live without you. And yes, that means I’ll love you even if we manage to reverse The Change, if you still want me once you’ve got your life back. Gods, I can’t even imagine having to leave you…Grey, I love you.” He kissed the backs of Grey’s chilled hands. “More and more every day. I….” He looked up pleadingly. “I want to be with you forever. No matter how long that forever might last. And…you realize now, it might be a really long time, right?”
Grey laughed out loud at the weight in Luca’s voice. “Are you…god, Luca, it feels like you’re proposing to me.”
Luca laughed himself. “Well, I suppose I kind of am. I mean, I don’t think your dad will come to the wedding, and we might not want to invite your mom….”
Grey shook his head, glad to see some of the tension slipping from Luca with the return of his sense of humor. “I know what you mean, idiot. I didn’t know you needed me to say it, but I love you too. Forever. However long that is.” Grey smiled and leaned into Luca’s embrace.
Grey sighed with regret when Luca pulled away, but was rewarded a moment later, when he felt Luca’s nimble fingers at his fly. “Just stay there,” he warned. “You’ll hide me from anyone coming over the dunes.” The wicked look in his eyes was nearly too much for Grey to stand. He buried his hands in Luca’s sleek hair as he bent his head.
"Idiot, I'm going to get frostbite!" Grey moaned, feeling a bit of his control slip, a cool brush of power around him. Luca's shoulders tensed beneath his hands, then Grey felt what he immediately knew mu
st be Luca's power. It swelled around them like a swirl of water, sparkling in the summer sun as it merged with that sense of Grey’s own magic. It danced around them, and Grey arched his back as Luca grasped his hips, urging Grey to thrust into his mouth the way he wanted to.
It was over in seconds, leaving Grey boneless and panting, that sense of power still wavering in the air around them. Luca stood and nudged Grey’s knee, giving him a wicked leer. “You owe me later.” He held out a hand to pull Grey up, a smirk on his lips that promised more torture yet to come.
Grey took his hand and let Luca pull him to his feet. His knees felt weak. “What the hell was that? That…power?” he said, trying not to stumble as they made their way back toward civilization, as the feeling of magic in the air faded and he started to feel…energized and alive.
Luca shook his head. “I have no idea.” He shot Grey a surprisingly innocent look. “I’ve never…uh, had a relationship, with someone like us. And this is the first time I’ve really let my magic respond to the way you’re always pulling at it.”
Grey grinned. “Pulling at it? And…does that mean there’s something you don’t just automatically know?” He nudged Luca in the shoulder. “We’ll have to do some research back at the house, you know, for the sake of science and all. In your room. Preferably on the bed, where there are blankets.”
Luca laughed. “Think you can make it there?”
Grey took command of his legs and stared grimly at the narrow path that led up the side of a dune. “Where there’s a will there’s a way.”
Chapter 68
“Damn it!”
Grey had caught sight of the siren a block over. She had rapidly disappeared, but it was impossible for Grey to completely lose her. Arianna left behind a trail of power that beckoned to him like a beacon, grating against his senses and pissing him off. He finally caught up, following her into a classy marine-themed bar just off Seaway. He would have liked to have Luca with him for back-up, but his boyfriend hadn't shown up for their planned kleidí-hunting outing.
