by Kaye Draper
But he hadn’t suffered through all this bullshit the last four years just to give up now.
Grey's head pounded, and he felt as though someone had embedded an ice pick behind his eyes, but he slogged forward, one painful step at a time. A pair of big hands latched onto his shoulders and Grey stumbled to a halt.
“Stop! We should go. You're not strong enough.” Luca’s voice came to him from a million miles away, but Grey knew it wasn’t really Luca talking. It was her, god damn it. She was in Luca's head.
Power coiled up within Grey, pulled from the cool water that surrounded his hips and legs, raw power drawn from the ocean in its purest form. It left him gasping, reeling with euphoria. Grey found a space in his mind where he was still himself, whoever that was. He clung to that little bit of himself until it grew. His mind was his own. And Luca…oh hell no.
Grey flung his hands outward as a high, clear note erupted from him. Arianna's song was cut off abruptly. The darkness receded from Grey’s vision and he saw her sprawled across her perch, flung there by the force of his power.
Grey's mother peered up at him with that eerie grin she had worn before. It was no less unsettling this time around, when by all rights she should be enraged. “This island has lost my protection.” She tilted her head, studying Grey. “You wouldn’t be convinced to come away with me, would you? I have a feeling we could rule the world, little one."
Grey shook his head, trying to stay conscious as the power he’d called up fled him all at once. What the hell? It seemed like Arianna was just...giving up. “I’m staying. But before you go, release all the women from this curse. They’ve been punished long enough.”
A thought occurred to him, and he held up a hand. “Wait! The trans men. I want you to leave them be. Can you let people choose? It’s the least you could do, after you fucked with them so badly.”
Arianna’s lips compressed to a thin line, as if she was considering his words. Finally, she nodded. “Fine, if that is what you wish. The ones who were men in their hearts before I ever intervened will stay that way. But the rest will be restored to their original forms.” She tilted her head at Grey and smirked. “I can see what people desire most, you know, it’s part of a siren’s power. For my…daughter, I’ll do as you ask—and I’ll even give you a little bonus gift. Of course, you’ll owe me a favor.” Her eyes focused behind him. On Luca. “But…are you sure you want to give up the power you have as a man, little one? It is a man’s world, this human sphere. And you already have a pet who adores you.”
Grey swallowed hard. He knew what she meant. Luca had fallen in love with him in spite of—or maybe because of—the fact that he was male. There was a good chance that was all about to go away. Grey's mouth went dry. His chest burned.
“Yes. Just please…let me put things right.” Grey suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe.
The water in the little cavern was rising. The tide was coming in hard. The siren that was his mother simply nodded her head and disappeared beneath the waves, leaving the necklace abandoned on the rock. Good luck, little one. Her voice echoed in Grey's mind, laced with cynicism. You’re going to need it.
Grey stumbled forward through the rising water and grasped the trinket. Pain lanced through him and his head throbbed. The world spun in a wash of dizziness. Looking down, Grey saw his hand, delicate and feminine, wrapped around the bright stone.
Chapter 77
Luca grabbed Grey’s hand and dragged him back toward the little pool. They needed to exit the cave. Now. They hit the water at a dead run, and Grey stumbled. Luca grabbed him around the waist, pulling him close as they stood in the rising water. The tide was coming in hard and fast, and Luca had no idea if Grey could breathe underwater when he wasn’t really concentrating. Grey’s eyes sparkled up at him, a much deeper emerald shade than usual. “We did it!”
There was elation there, but also sadness. And Luca thought he knew why. Grey seemed to waver. His entire outline shimmered. Luca held him close, feeling the thin, muscular planes of his body through his wet t-shirt.
“Hold on to me,” Luca whispered. “Just hold on to me. We’ve got to get out of here.”
Grey’s fingers fisted in Luca’s wet shirt. “I don’t feel good.” His face paled noticeably, devoid of its usual golden glow, even in the dim light of the cave.
Luca held him closer, his heart pounding. “No….” Not yet! He wasn’t ready. He needed more time.
But his plea went unheard. He closed his eyes as a wave of magic washed over them. Grey shifted in his arms. Luca held on tighter, determined not to let Grey be swept away. Luca's eyes flew open and he stared down into a stranger’s face. Her startlingly green eyes were similar, though not really the same. Where Grey’s face had been heart shaped, the woman before him had more of an oval face, the lines softer, rounder. Her bowstring lips trembled as the magic from the unstable curse washed over her. Even her hair color had changed, a dark auburn where the wet strands were plastered to her face.
Luca willed himself to stay calm, to release her. But she clung to him, her full breasts pressed against him through the thin layers of wet, clinging cotton, all the soft curves feeling oddly wrong now that he was used to holding a man. He could feel the unsteady power pulsing from the half of the gem she held in her hand, and he grasped her forearm, holding it away from his own body, just in case.
“Let’s get this thing outside and find a couple of rocks.” Might as well make sure the sirens never got hold of it.
Grey nodded, his form wavering from male to female and back thanks to the contact with the stone. His face was still pale in the dim light and his voice wavered. “Sounds like a plan. Gotta put it together first, though. Sirens said it had to be put back together to break the curse.”
When they made it outside, Luca fell to his knees in the sand. Grey staggered forward and laid the gemstone on a flat rock while he cast about for a weapon to destroy it. Luca pushed a hand through his hair. Grey was male again. His shift earlier was probably only a result of Grey’s proximity to the unstable stone. Provided that the siren kept her word and the curse broke, the effects should fade over time, not all at once like that. But that had been close. Way too close. How much time did they have left if the stone was destroyed?
“There.” Grey pointed to the left.
Luca shook himself out of his panic and went to get the rock Grey was pointing at. It was about the size of a grapefruit. Big enough to do the job. He crossed the beach and handed the stone to Grey, then stepped away. “I think you need to do it,” he said, even though his heart clenched. They had to do this. Luca wanted to stop Grey, wanted to plead for him to just give them a few more days. But he couldn’t. There was a whole island depending on them. He had to let nature right itself.
Grey nodded, oblivious to Luca’s dark thoughts. He pulled the second piece of the geode out of his pocket. The siren queen had said it needed to be put back together to break the curse. If they destroyed it before then, they ran the risk of ending up trapped under the curse's power.
He watched as Grey placed the gem against its other half. The thing sucked together, like two magnets, fusing with a little hum. Power washed over them again, and Luca shivered under it. The curse was probably already starting to fade.
Grey raised the rock over his head and Luca could sense the power moving in the other man, coiling up from his center to surround him in a cool aura like a breath of sea air. Grey hesitated, and for a moment, Luca thought he would refuse to finish it, that maybe he was as terrified as Luca. But of course not. Grey might be filled with uncertainty, but in the end, he had more courage than Luca could ever possess. Grey brought the stone down with a bang.
It slithered off the gem and struck a glancing blow to Grey’s thumb. “Fuck!”
Luca came near, but Grey waved him away. “I’m fine.”
He struck the thing again. And again. Nothing happened.
“It’s not even scratched,” Grey said, holding up the geode, safely
wrapped in the edge of his T-shirt. He had apparently figured out that direct contact turned parts of him female.
Luca came to his side. “You won’t really give it to the sirens, will you?”
Grey shook his head. “No fucking way. Maybe Pontus can help us figure out how to destroy it.”
Heat washed over Luca, followed by silvery chill. The curse had really broken. Luca could feel it, the power like water sluicing over him and then flowing away. His hand trembled as he reached out for Grey. Wide green eyes stared up at him and he could feel the fear in Grey.
“Nothing happened!” The shorter guy pulled away to study his masculine hands.
Luca reached out and brushed an errant curl from his lover’s face, trying to memorize every precious detail before it was erased forever. “No, it did. You felt it right? The magic? I think...I think it will keep fading.”
Grey swallowed hard and nodded. There was so much more Luca wanted to say, but the words just wouldn’t come. All this time spent convincing himself it was okay to love a man. And it was all about to come to an end. They turned and made their way back toward town in silence.
Chapter 78
Grey woke the next morning and stretched hard, as if he had slept for days, rather than the measly three hours indicated by his bedside clock. Then he slowly ran his hands over his body, mapping it all. He stared at the ceiling, feeling numb as he thought about the previous night.
“Do you think she’ll leave the island?” Luca had asked as they walked along the dark streets to the trailer Grey had shared with his dad for the past four years.
Grey told him he was sure of it, though that was a lie. He couldn't say with any certainty what his mother would or wouldn't do. Luca had kissed him at the door, and Grey hoped that he couldn’t sense the desperation Grey was feeling. Then Luca gave his hand a final squeeze before disappearing into the night.
Grey had wanted to spend the night together, to face The Change, if it did actually happen, together. But Luca had become closed off. He had insisted on talking to his father—probably hoping his mom would come back the minute The Change was reversed. And Grey thought maybe it was best if he talked to his own dad as well. Luca was probably right. They should probably be with their families. Maybe they could mend things, once he was back in the right body.
Grey sat up and slipped out of bed. Almost mechanically, he walked to his closet, not looking around. He pushed hangers out of the way until he could reach into the very back. Then he took off his pajamas and slipped into the blue sundress he kept hidden out of sight, not caring that it was far too cold for summer clothes.
Grey padded to the bathroom, dragging her fingers through her tangled curls as she went. Her hair was longer now, for whatever reason, a bushy mass that brushed against her mid-back. Then she did something she hadn’t done in years. She took down the box of “wishful thinking” items that she bought every year on the anniversary of The Change and rummaged around until she found a tube of mascara. She looked in the mirror as little as possible, and then only at her eyes. They didn’t look like Grey’s eyes. She tried not to think about how much they looked like her eyes. Like Arianna’s.
Thus fortified against the world, Grey went back to her room. She took out a piece of stationary and a pen and started a letter.
I came
Her mind couldn’t finish the sentence, and her hand shook. Leaving it at that, she carefully folded the paper and stood. She would say what she had to say in person.
She pulled on a jacket that was a smidge too big, but didn’t button it, slipping her feet into a loose pair of men’s loafers. She didn’t have any shoes that fit, and she only had to go a short distance anyway. If she didn’t go now, all her hard-won courage would disappear, and she wouldn’t go at all. The air was chilly, and the concrete beneath the thin soles of her shoes was cold and hard. She soaked in the feeling, trying to keep her mind blank. It was already warmer than it had been the day before. A bird trilled in a tree as she passed. Spring was coming to the Island at last.
She knew Luca had said he was going to talk to his dad last night, but she had a hunch he would have come back to the house he had shared with Cameron at some point, and it was closer than Pontus’s house way out by the seaside, so it was a good place to start. When she got there, Grey stopped, her mind suddenly spluttering to life with all its worries and fears despite her best efforts to keep it quiet. She wasn’t alone in her morning visit.
The blond woman looked up curiously as Grey shuffled up the walk in her oversized shoes. Grey gave her a shaky smile and an idiotic wave. Crazy girl in a sundress in the middle of what amounted to fall temperatures. Sounded like Grey.
“Hello.” Pain stabbed Grey's chest like a knife thrust with every heartbeat. “You’re even prettier in person,” she said, nodding toward the other woman. Her throat hurt, as if there was something stuck there. Maybe a sideways razorblade. “Christine, right?”
The blond girl raised her eyebrows and smoothed her wool coat down over her jeans. “Who are you?”
Grey shrugged and gave her a friendly smile. No reason to be nasty. Or jealous. Or angry. This was the way things were supposed to be, after all. She had told her mother that she wanted to put things back the way they should be, right? “I was a friend of Luca’s…you know, after The Change?”
The woman didn’t seem to know what to say. Grey stepped forward and slipped the folded paper she held into the mail slot. She was tempted to pound on the door, to beg Luca not to take Christine back. But she glanced at the gorgeous blond and suddenly lost all of her courage.
“Um…well. I’ll go now. I don’t want to interrupt your reunion or whatever.” She held up a hand, still backing away. “I just, um….” Grey took a deep breath and willed herself to stop stuttering. She had done what she wanted to do. Luca would know what that note meant. That Grey was here. That she wasn’t going to disappear the way Christine had after the first Change.
Grey turned and started to walk away, but a male voice halted her in her tracks. “Grey?” It was tentative, disbelieving. Not that she could blame him. Girl Grey didn’t resemble her male counterpart at all.
Grey turned back to face Cameron, scared to look at his face. She lifted her chin and met his eyes, surprised to find a look of desperation on his face. “Grace,” she said softly. Then, because she couldn’t help herself. “Tell Luca…I’ll understand, okay?” She tilted her head toward Christine, who still stood on the stoop, frowning at them.
Cameron shook his head. “Luca didn’t come home last night. I didn’t realize it until just a few minutes ago. I assumed he was either with you or with Dad.”
Christine was glaring in suspicion now, probably wondering why Luca would be with Grey all night. But Grey couldn’t find the time to care. Ice formed in her veins. If Luca wasn’t home, and he wasn’t with his family or either of the women standing on his stoop….
There was a sudden pop of sound and the sprinkler system came on. Christine danced back to avoid ruining her perfect hair and makeup. Grey stayed where she was, water pouring down her face as she stared at the elemental that had emerged from the sprinkler.
Cameron was cursing and trying to shut off the water. Christine’s voice was raised in irritation. Neither one of them seemed to be able to see the creature causing all the commotion.
It wavered just above the sprinkler head, balanced on a column of water, silvery tendrils of hair flowing about its curled horns. It turned its watery eyes on Grey. “The siren pod requests your presence—and the presence of a certain bauble—if you would like your lover returned to dry land, cross-breed.”
Chapter 79
Luca paced down the long hallway, his bare feet quiet on the cool, smooth coral tiles. He kept his face schooled into a look of boredom as he followed the tall, willowy goddess before him. Her hair shimmered, swaying like a silvery-blond waterfall as she walked. She stopped suddenly and he halted on the tips of his toes to keep from bumping into her, to keep from t
ouching all that sleek, dangerous beauty.
“The queen and elders want to speak with you before we take you to your room,” she said with a smile that showed more teeth than absolutely necessary.
Luca smiled back, an exaggerated, simpering thing. “Oh, goodie.”
She looked down her pert nose at him. The tip of that perfect nose wrinkled, as if she smelled something foul. “Men should be seen and not heard,” she reminded him.
Luca rolled his eyes and brushed past her, enjoying the way she quickly moved aside to avoid touching a child of Pontus.
He strode into the main hall, flanked by a couple of glassy-eyed male guards who had clearly been chosen for their pretty faces and rippling muscles rather than any particular usefulness. The queen bitch sat on her dais, her gauzy gown draped over the stones like spilled water. She was deep in conversation with a nervous looking siren, and didn’t notice his approach right away.
“Soon, we’ll have exactly what we need to ensure our rise to power,” she soothed.
The other woman seemed to hold back a visible flinch. “The gods,” she ventured in an anxious whisper. “They’ll find out. They will say awakening it is evil. Even if we get it…they’ll want it for themselves. Are you certain we should risk their anger?”
Queen B shook her head. “They are all just a bunch of faded relics, and they grow less powerful by the day. They’ll say whatever they need to say in order to keep us all here, hidden and suppressed.”
Luca caught a sudden shiver. Whatever the creatures were up to, it was bound to start a war between the sirens and the gods—and would probably end up pulling a whole bunch of other people into it. That’s how it always went whenever someone decided to challenge the gods. But the sirens certainly wouldn’t care about a few non-siren casualties. He glided to a halt at the bottom of the dais. The Queen B finally took notice of him, her eyes narrowing as he approached.
