Probably not.
Most of them seemed quite content to remain absorbed in their own little worlds.
Telyn glanced at the girl who walked meekly between Marat and Lysha, her head bowed and her shoulders shaking. Fresh anger at the dead man they'd left buried beneath the rubble of his own tower clenched in Telyn's gut. She almost wished she could bring him back, solely so she could kill him with her own hands. Almost.
As they neared the Cloister of Majik, Telyn signaled a halt with one raised hand, and turned to look at her companions. "I think this part will go a lot easier if Lysha and I take her in there, alone."
Nacaris frowned. "You have no idea how they'll react."
Lysha nodded in agreement. "You've the right o' it, Sera. Elsewise, they might be gettin' the wrong idea about what happened to Mistress Sele."
Nacaris looked as if he might protest again, until Marat clapped one hand on his shoulder. "Let us go and find lodging, my friend. If I am not much mistaken, the Helioras begins on the morrow, and there will soon be no lodging left to be had in this entire city."
Telyn didn't wait around to hear Nacaris' response. She couldn't take the chance he'd try to convince her to let him come along. Grasping Sele's arm lightly, she strode purposefully toward the Cloister, and ignored the churning in her gut that told her she might not be strong enough to let Nacaris go.
"Tha's a cold thin' ta do."
Telyn ignored the disappointment lacing Lysha's voice as the former Minegard caught up with them. She didn't have time for reprimands or second thoughts. Those only led to dangerous ground she promised herself she wouldn't tread.
"Hmm." She answered with a non-committal sound, hoping her friend would let the matter drop. She had too much else to think about to worry what Lysha thought of her actions. With Brunnari dead and Sele rescued, everything that held her and Nacaris together evaporated like mist anyway, right? They had different paths in life, and hers left no room for the distraction of a lover. None of that made the hollowness in her chest any more bearable, but it was how things had to be. Absently, she rubbed the spot just above her breastbone, and became aware that Lysha was still talking. She blinked.
"What did you say?"
Lysha snorted a laugh. "Knew ye weren' listenin'. I said, yer a demned fool."
Telyn sighed. No arguing with that. "You're probably right. But this is the way things have to be, Lysha."
"Horsefeathers!" Lysha swore colorfully. "Tha' man's smitten with ye -- any fool can see it. Ye've nah right ta be tearin' 'is 'eart out."
"I don't recall asking for it in the first place," Telyn rounded on her friend in cold fury, her temper shortened by guilt. Lysha was right, damn it all, but Telyn didn't have to acknowledge that -- doing so only made the pain worse.
"More's the fool," Lysha muttered as they came to the door of the Cloister. Telyn cast her a quelling glance. This wasn't the place for such discussions.
Grimly, Telyn pounded on the door with her fist. She was acutely aware of the curious attention of the Maji gathered in the courtyard, but couldn't bring herself to care. She just wanted this whole unpleasant task behind her.
The viewhole in the door opened, and withered eyes glared out at them, full of wary suspicion as they raked over the armor and weapons. "Aye?"
"We must speak with Mistress Jebodatha immediately."
Those eyes narrowed a fraction further. "Why?"
She wasn't about to play this game. Telyn glared back at those eyes as she thrust out her arm, displaying the Gildgard mark. "That's between myself and your Mistress."
The viewhole slammed shut without another word from behind it. Telyn shrugged helplessly at Lysha. She had no idea if the door would open, or if they'd just been summarily dismissed.
They waited what seemed like a lifetime, and Telyn grew more anxious and annoyed by the moment. This was taking too long.
Just as her temper frayed and she lifted her hand to pound on the door again, fully prepared to use her anaqueri to gain them entrance if she had to, the barrier swung open to reveal Mistress Jebodatha herself. The elderly Mistress' eyes widened in surprise as she looked at Telyn.
"Sera! When Sister Orasa claimed there were loathsome creatures at our door, I assumed the Endland Mummers had arrived for the Festival. Sister Orasa is not the most tolerant of people." She frowned then. "What brings you here?"
Telyn drew Sele forward into Jebodatha's line of sight. Her heart went out to the girl as she cowered against Telyn like a small child afraid of leaving her mother's skirts.
"We found Mistress Sele, but she's in dire need of your assistance."
Mistress Jebodatha's taciturn features softened with pity, and she drew the girl into the shelter of her arms, and clucked over her like a brood hen. "You poor child! Orasa, Maleni, please see to it that our young guest is given a room and a warm meal while I speak with her companions."
The two women hanging back in the shadows scurried to comply with this request, huddling the girl between them as they whisked her away down the corridors of the Cloister. Telyn watched them go with relief. Sele was in good hands now. If she had any hope of recovery, it would be with the careful ministrations of these women.
When her attention returned to Jebodatha, she found the Mistress' stern gaze fixed on her. Jebodatha frowned, her gaze travelling to Lysha, and back. "You have both best come with me. We will speak in my Chambers."
Telyn didn't bother arguing. She just followed Jebodatha as the Mistress swept through the Cloister corridors in the opposite direction from where Sele disappeared. It wasn't hard to see how devote this Cloister was. Unlike Raiador's lavishly appointed Minanx Camp, this Cloister was stark and barren, with no displays of wealth or distractions of vanity.
The Mistress' Chambers stood in stark opposition to Brun-Gild's ostentatious Chambers at Raiador. Those had been messy, overflowing with scrolls and parchments, and decorated with more thought to wealth and comfort than to work or devotion. Jebodatha's, by contrast, were almost severe. Everything in order, and nothing which did not serve an immediate purpose to her work.
The door firmly closed behind them once inside the Chambers, and Telyn faced Jebodatha grimly and knew there was one thing she must first tell this woman.
"Brunnari is dead."
Jebodatha barely blinked, clearly unsurprised by this news.
"I wish I could say it was a shame," she admitted quietly, after a long moment of utter silence. "But it is good that such evil is removed from this world. You will be happy to know, Sera, that Rori is recovering rapidly, though it will likely be many cyclath before she's well enough to return home to her kin."
Telyn smiled. That was encouraging news, and gave her hope for Sele. But Jebodatha's next words took that hope away.
"I fear that, for Mistress Sele, the ending might not be so fortuitous. It might have been kinder to let her die with Brunnari."
Telyn winced. She'd thought much the same at least once during their journey back to Ulambara. To hear it voiced aloud, however, made her wonder if their quest to retrieve Sele had all been for naught. Still... "I understand."
Jebodatha was silent for a long moment, her expression contemplative, and Telyn feared the Mistress might have slipped into meditative trance. She was just about to signal Lysha to leave quietly, when those hawk-keen eyes snapped up to her again. "What do you suppose would cause a man to betray his own house after so many cycles?"
Telyn relaxed with a sigh, and shook her head in response to the query. She'd been expecting this question. Mistress Jebodatha -- indeed, the entire House of Gild -- would be plagued by that question for a long time to come. And none of them would like the only answer she had to give.
"He never intended to do anything else. Loyalty held no part of Pelarius Brunnari's soul. He served only himself."
Jebodatha's frown deepened as she listened. She loosed a long sigh of regret. "How could we have missed this? Surely, such evil would have signs, warnings. And yet, even I, a Discerne
r of Truth, failed to see through one man's lies."
That was a question with no answer, and yet another Telyn was sure every Master and Mistress who'd ever come in contact with the man they knew as one of their own would ask themselves repeatedly over the coming cycles. Brunnari's greed and hatred shattered their innocent certainty, the very illusion of invincibility and security they created. It was a wound Telyn was incapable of healing.
For now, young Phoenix, Sala's voice spoke, deep within her mind. But one day, you will heal even more costly wounds.
Though Telyn's mind flashed the image of Nacaris' face just before they parted ways, and nausea roiled in her stomach. The wounds she inflicted on him might be beyond any healing. She only prayed he would one day forgive her for what she had to do.
*****
Nacaris paced a restless circle in the dusty street, conscious of the wary glances of those who passed by him. He must look like a madman.
A bitter laugh caught in his throat, strangling him. He didn't blame them for their assumption. Truth was, he wasn't sure of his own sanity -- not after the way Telyn walked away from him.
He wanted to believe he'd imagined the icy wall that dropped over her expression when she turned away from him, but the truth was, that wall had been growing steadily since they left the mountain tower. Telyn was pulling away from him. She was getting ready to run.
Not that he considered himself an expert on the warning signs of imminent flight. Last time Telyn fled him, she'd slipped away in the dead of night, and no amount of pleading or threats had garnered him any clues from Dariadus. The only thing that confrontation gleaned him was expulsion from the Tribe.
And yet, the irony wasn't lost on him. Had Dariadus not banished him, he would never have crossed paths with Telyn again. A large part of him wondered if Dariadus had done him a favor, or cursed him for good, in doing so. He'd been infatuated with the girl he once knew. He was in love with the woman who seemed so determined now to escape him. The difference was like a knife blade through his soul.
Everything in him said that when she walked away earlier, she had no intention of returning. And that certainty had him pacing holes in the street, uncertain what to do.
"Nacaris!"
The sound of her voice jerked his head up, and his heart pounded in hope as he watched her confident stride carry her toward him. Then, he became aware of the reins in her hand, and the hulking form of Bloodcloud behind her. She'd already saddled the warhorse and packed for travel. At that sight, hope died in a screaming, twisting plunge. Still, he forced himself to display calm nonchalance as he lifted one eyebrow in curiosity.
"Going somewhere?"
She refused to meet his gaze, and Nacaris' gut twisted in pain. This was good-bye. He supposed he should be glad she actually bothered, but he wasn't.
"Aye." She stopped right in front of him, and her gaze finally lifted. The sadness in her lavender eyes punched him in the chest, and suddenly, he couldn't bear for her to leave.
"Telyn, don't..." He reached out, grasped her hand as he fought what had to be the most important battle of his life. "You don't have to leave."
Her gaze dropped again before lifting as a grim expression settled over her features. "Aye, I do."
"Why?" It was the one question she'd denied him the chance to ask, last time.
Her eyes glinted like gemstones, hard and direct. "This isn't about you, Nacaris. It never has been. From the moment I left Raiador, the only thing I should have been focused on was the Phoenix Book. But I let myself get distracted by my feelings for you."
Nacaris' eyes widened, and he wasn't sure whether he should be angry or elated. She was planning to leave him -- he had no doubt about that, now -- but he'd never had so much as a glimmer before now that she might really regret it. It was time to put it all on the line. "Feelings? Care to elaborate?"
She glared at him. "No. You're not listening to me, Nacaris!"
The chuckle worked its way from him in a burst of dark humor. "Balnyt, I can promise you, you have my undivided attention."
He heard the tiny catch of her breath. Interesting. He wondered what that was all about.
"Um... Yes, well..." She stammered, and her gaze dropped away again. "I can't let anyone, or anything, distract me. I have to find the Phoenix Book, and learn how to use it."
Those words sent a spike of dread through his chest. "I thought that was what you found in the tower."
"No." She shook her head. "That was a forgery, a trap. The real Book is still out there, somewhere, and I'm running out of time to find it."
"I see." Cold certainty settled over Nacaris. This wasn't just good-bye. It was an irrevocable rejection of everything between them, past and present.
"No, I'm very much afraid you don't." The words were barely more than a whisper from her, and he froze as she stepped up to him until their bodies pressed together from chest to thigh. Reaching one hand up, she caressed his cheek, her fingers rasping against the stubble there before she drew his head down to hers, planting a kiss on him that would have felled an eunuch.
With a groan that spoke all the need, desire, and love that tightened around his chest like a vise, he clutched her to him, taking control of the kiss. Maybe, if he poured out all his hunger for her, he could convince her to stay.
A moment later, Telyn loosed a small sound that could have been a sigh, or a sob, and pulled from his arms. She clutched his hand for a moment, then, with a tortured look that seared him to his soul, she turned and swung up on Bloodcloud. She cantered away without so much as a glance backward, and Nacaris had no choice but to let her go, as emptiness filled him for the second time in his life.
Hard, warm pressure in his palm as his hand clenched in a fist had him looking down, and surprise jolted him. In his palm lay a large golden ring, set with a piece of flawless, tawny amber. His throat closed as he saw the Bathron firebirds etched on either side of the stone. It was the seal of the Phoenix Clan. Something to remember her by? As if he needed it...
Closing his hand around the ring, Nacaris stared morosely down the street where Telyn had disappeared. "Farewell, my beautiful Phoenix. May the Gods will it, our paths cross again, someday."
Those final words -- an Endland benediction -- carried more impact than it ever had before. It was the most he could hope for, and he knew it would be his prayer until his dying day.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Telyn sighed to herself, holding Bloodcloud's reins loosely as she listened to his hooves clop over the border road. While it felt good to be travelling again, and she was happy for the reunion with Bloodcloud, she couldn't quite ignore the gaping wound in her heart. It opened and bled afresh every time she thought of Nacaris, or remembered the betrayed expression on his face when she last saw him, standing there in the Ulambara street.
She shoved the memory away and forced a wavering smile to her face as she reached to smooth Bloodcloud's dark mane.
"Good to feel the road again, isn't it, old friend?"
The liver-roan stallion snorted his agreement, tossing his rippling locks in a horse-like nod.
You always act too hastily.
Telyn sighed at the censure in that tiny voice, even as she looked up to see Sala dancing in and out of the streams of sunlight. "What have I done now?"
Something you should have been asking yourself the wisdom of, all along. Do you ever stop to wonder if what you see in your dreams is a vision, or if it is merely your spirit's way of warning you that danger might lie ahead?
Telyn's throat closed as she realized what Sala was talking about. She'd been steadily pushing Nacaris away even before that ill-fated day in the mountains. She'd erected barrier after barrier between them ever since the night she had that dream in which she watched him die. Something in her told her that death was her fault, and she would do anything to avoid that day's arrival. Even if it meant hurting them both, in the process. Eyes closed against pain, she managed, "What are you saying?"
Perhaps it
is not his destiny to die thus. Perhaps the dream only meant to warn you of the dangers the Borderlands present.
Too little, too late. She'd already driven him away -- or, more correctly, she'd already ridden away from him. There was no going back, now, and she had no idea where to find him if she tried. A mercenary like Nacaris could be anywhere, by now. Still...
"If we assume the dream was just a warning, it means the Borderlands are dangerous, right now. How do we get through?"
Sala floated closer, until her confused expression was clearly visible. Why is there a problem?
Telyn laughed bitterly. "The Borderlanders have been battling the Rahians for longer than I can remember, Sala. I dreamed a battle, that night. Nacaris against a dozen or more Rahians. I was caught between them when the Rahians attacked. If we assume that Nacaris was only meant to represent the Borderlanders in that dream, that means I'm in danger of becoming trapped in their war. We don't have time for that."
Sala spun silently in the sunlight, for a long moment. We do as we must, Phoenix. We cannot avoid crossing the Borderlands, so we proceed with caution. What happens beyond that is in Kishfa's hands, not ours.
Telyn sighed as the tiny Elemental retreated into the fiery light of the sun. Great. Not only was her quest far from over, but it looked like she might be facing a war to find her prize. Finding the Phoenix Book was the first step in a long journey, and she still wasn't sure she was ready for this burden she bore.
Once she had the Book, she had to find a way to learn the rites in it, without the benefit of a trained teacher. And, of course, there were her memories of the first leg of her quest there to haunt her. Brunnari was dead, and Nacaris was angry -- both at Telyn's hands. That knowledge was unsettling. It wasn't that she was squeamish about death, and she didn't need the whole world to be her friend. She was a warrior, trained to kill in battle, and to have as many enemies as allies. But there was something about what she'd done that made Telyn sick.
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