I grinned and focused back on the volcano. The lava ran into the sea like a waterfall would a river. It was excruciatingly picturesque in a wild kind of way. It charged me with a renewed energy.
Kilauea was only a detour for us, an appetizer to the main event. Soon, we would head to the Mauna Kea Observatories—the most important astronomical observatories in the world. Hawaii was ideal for studying the stars. There were very few cloudy nights, the air was clean, and the preservation of the islands meant less habitation and less light pollution. Moreover, the mountain on which the Mauna Kea Observatories sat was high enough above sea level to escape water vapors in the air.
Visiting the Mauna Kea Observatories was an astronomer’s dream. Not many got the opportunity. Not in person, like this. Astronomers went their entire careers wishing for what Rawn was offering me now. I felt a little guilty knowing I was bouncing far ahead of others in my field, those who were much more worthy than I.
But not as much as the guilt I felt regarding Luke.
I needed to tell Rawn. He deserved to know. Technically, I did nothing wrong. After Italy, I’d had no intention of pursuing a relationship with Rawn. We had gone our separate ways. Romantically. We still worked together. But when a person shared their body with someone the way I did Rawn, there was nothing technical about it. It was all heat, energy, and emotion.
Tell him now, my conscience urged. He’ll forgive you in a place like this.
Are you crazy? my ego countered. Nothing happened with Luke. You ran off before it did. Don’t tell him anything. There’s nothing to tell.
I knew I wasn’t promiscuous. I knew I had only been following a fantasy. One that was undoubtedly misguided. But I was still ashamed.
Just tell him…
“Rawn,” I said, opening my mouth just as the volcano erupted again, sending sparks flying into the night. “Rawn, there something important I have to tell you. Well, I don’t know if it’s important. I just know it’s something I have to say. I should have told you before, but I didn’t think it mattered. But now, standing here with you on this lovely evening, I know it does matter. What happened may not be important, but me telling you about it matters.”
“Madison, you’re rambling.”
He looked concerned, which made it even harder to tell him. But I had to. “After Italy, I went to a rave with Annie. At the rave, I met my friend Luke. I was drunk and feeling reckless. So, I invited Luke to follow me to the woods.”
He cringed, and so did I. The woods were our memory, one we were meant to share alone, for better or worse.
“We went to an alleyway and we kissed, kind of. I had every intention of sleeping with him, but when I felt his lips on me, all I could do was think of you. I couldn’t go through with it. You were the only man I wanted. And so I left before anything happened.”
Rawn said nothing. He merely looked towards the volcano, stoic and silent. I hated how he could do that, how he could hide his feelings completely. I could not tell if he was hurt or angry, but I assumed he was. He had done so much for me. He had built an entire room for me, knowing I would come back to him. That was how much he believed in our attraction to each other.
“Say something,” I pleaded.
“Madison,” he began, “we have known each other for such a short time. You are young. Of course you want to explore your options. I understand. But I have to ask this of you… While we’re together, no more other men. I can’t commit myself to you in the way most men can commit themselves to a woman, but I do promise to share my bed only with you, as long as you do the same for me.”
I was so relieved to hear it. I truly thought he would have taken it a lot worse. Though, if I was being truly honest, part of me did want him to be angry. It was a strange mix of emotions. I didn’t want to lose him, and I didn’t want to hurt him, but I wanted him to react to what happened between me and Luke. I wanted him to care.
“I do promise,” I answered. “And I want to say just how grateful I am for this trip to Hawaii. It means a lot to me. I’m just sorry I can’t do the same for you.”
“You don’t have to do anything for me,” Rawn said, running a hand through my hair. “Just stay by my side.”
I would stay by his side, as long as I could.
“Anyway,” Rawn added before I could respond. “If Luke is the reason you came back to me, if kissing him made you discover your feelings for me, then I should shake the boy’s hand. I won’t. But I should. Is this why you were so quiet at the team meeting?”
“No, it was…something else.”
“Tell me.”
“I’m not sure if I should.” It was ridiculous. If I could tell him about Luke, I could tell him about the note I found regarding Conrad.
He scowled. “Something worse than Luke?”
“Oh, god no!” I exclaimed, realizing he had the wrong idea. “Russell asked me to take charge of the reception desk while Mellissa is out sick. When I was looking for the key guide to the phone, I found a sticky note that said not to trust Conrad.”
His scowl turned into a frown. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. That’s all the note said. Don’t trust Conrad.”
“I’ve known Conrad a while now. He’s one of the most upright people I know. Such a warning is unwarranted. I can’t possibly understand what it means. Conrad is soft. It makes him terrible at shooting pigeons. He hesitates when it comes to pulling the trigger.”
“Aren’t the pigeons only made out of clay?”
“My point exactly.”
“Then, it’s not worth discussing further,” I said, realizing Rawn was upset for his friend. “It doesn’t matter.”
There was a moment of silence between us, both of us lost in our thoughts.
“You sure you’re not mad about Luke?” I eventually asked.
“Mad… no. But it’s probably better I never meet him.”
“Don’t worry. I embarrassed him as much as I did myself. I don’t think we’re friends anymore.”
With the matter settled, I turned back to the volcano, thinking of the goddess Pele.
Pele, the goddess of volcanoes, had a sister—the sea goddess, Namaka. Filled with passion and ambition, Pele was wild, an eruption of emotions. Namaka could be just as wild, but she was guided by much more sense, often warning Pele of the consequences to her actions. Originally, Pele was meant to be a water goddess like her sister, but when she discovered fire, she knew her true self.
Unfortunately, knowing herself didn’t mean having control over herself. While testing the fires of the underworld, she set her home island on fire, destroying much of what she loved. Wrathful, Namaka threatened to flood the land, washing away all of its fire. To escape her sister’s punishment, Pele made her home on the mountain Mauna Loa, which was so high, her sister could not destroy her fire with the sea.
This caused war to break out between the sisters. It was a war of elements—fire against water. Pele proved to be the more powerful, raising her fire from the earth in the form of lava so that it pushed the sea away. But like her sister had always warned her, there were consequences to her actions. Such power was too much for her. It destroyed her. At least, her physical body. Her spirit survived, and she inhabited the island now known as Hawaii as a shape shifter, able to take on any form. Immortal.
My sister and I had never been at war. The only thing we had ever fought over was clothing or who got the bigger bedroom after she went away to college. But I still considered my sister like Pele, the livelier of us. I had thought her unstoppable. There was no sea that could wash away her fire. That’s what I’d thought. I had been wrong. But like Pele, I was certain her spirit lived on.
“You’re thinking of your sister,” Rawn observed.
“How can you tell?” I asked, surprised.
“The expression on your face. It’s filled with both love and sadness. It’s the way you always look when you think of your sister. Can you tell me what happened to her?”
“
Not tonight,” I told him. “Tonight is for us. How much longer do we have before our tour at the Mauna Kea Observatories?”
“The researcher I was in contact with is in the middle of a project, but he said we could stop by after midnight. So soon.”
“I can’t wait,” I said eagerly. “This volcano is like nothing I’ve seen before. I’m glad we saw it at night. I think the night brings out its true colors. But to see the Mauna Kea Observatories—it’s a chance of a lifetime. Knowing it’s so close…it’s hard to stay still.”
Rawn stepped away from the metal barrier of the ridge. “Then I guess we better get moving.”
“Where? I thought you said we had to wait until midnight.”
“Another detour,” he hinted, but he refused to say anymore.
We returned to the Jeep Rawn had rented upon arriving in Honolulu. I was disappointed it wasn’t another Ferrari, certain I could win another bet, but when we started to drive, I understood the practicality of a Jeep. Hawaii was nature, and lots of it. It’s what made the island so illustrious. My only regret about visiting Hawaii was that we wouldn’t have time to explore the smaller islands that I knew held their own intrigue and beauty.
We drove for several miles until we reached a marina. It being nighttime, most of the extensive yachts and fishing boats were fastened tightly to the dock, resting until the fire of the sun gave life back to the island. However, one boat had its lights on. It was a decent sized trolley with a fresh paint job. I couldn’t make out the lettering on the side of the boat, but it had the flair of a tour company.
“Are we going for a cruise?” I asked as we left the Jeep and started towards the marina.
“Something like that,” Rawn said mischievously. “I know I have your trust, Madison. I don’t take that trust for granted. Nor would I ever try to test it. If it has to be tested, it’s not trust at all. If ever we do something that scares you, know that I insist upon it for your own good. I demand your trust, but for your benefit as much as my own.”
It was the same as when we were in bed together, but this was Hawaii, not our secret room. I had never given Rawn full control over my life, but I supposed once I told him he had my trust, I had never made a stipulation as to how far that trust went, so I didn’t argue.
Walking down to the marina, based on Rawn’s speech, I knew that whatever we were about to do, it was likely something I would never forget. I just hoped it really was in my best interest.
The dock of the marina was composed of old wood that sank when I stepped into it. I hoped the boat we were about to board was a lot sturdier. Reaching its hull, I could finally see the words painted across the side. Captain Mark’s Extreme Adventures. Extreme. That usually meant something dangerous.
“Welcome!” a man called over the side of the boat. He had a young face, full of energy and life, but his hair had grayed and he had deep-set wrinkles around his almond-shaped eyes. Upon his short, fat body, he wore a white sailor’s jacket that was torn and aging. But he emitted such friendliness, I couldn’t hold his disheveled appearance against him. “Come up,” he instructed, waving his hand towards the metal stairs that led up to the boat.
“Isn’t going out to the sea risky at night?” I whispered to Rawn as we walked up the stairs.
“Captain Mark has been doing this for years. Trust me, Madison. You’ll be safe. I would not risk you for anything.”
It was hard to deny Rawn when he spoke so charismatically. At the top of the stairs, he reached his hand out to me and helped me onto the boat. It tipped against our weight, but soon settled. It was a good thing I was not prone to seasickness. Quite the opposite, I loved the sea. In this way, I was Namaka. I preferred to travel by boat more than any other mode of transportation, especially planes. If I could have it my way, I would travel by boat everywhere. I preferred it even to a car.
“Does the lady know what we’re here for?” Captain Mark asked. “Because she looks pretty at ease.”
“No, she doesn’t know. But she is free to. Madison?”
It was enough for me that Rawn had said he would not put my trust to the test. To show him once more that I did trust him, and perhaps to show him that he could trust me after revealing the catastrophe with Luke, I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s been a surprise up until now. You might as well wait and tell me once we get there.”
It was kind of fun keeping it a surprise. Though I did conclude one thing. Whatever it was, it wasn’t a cruise. The boat could only light up so much of the sea around us.
“Right on!” Captain Mark exclaimed. “I’ll do my part up at the wheel; why don’t you two lovebirds make yourself comfortable on the front deck. Just don’t fly away out into the water. You’ll find drinks in the mini-fridge. I hope you don’t expect anything fancy. This isn’t Bill Gates’ yacht. This ship was built for those with a brave island spirit, like mine. Like it or leave it.”
I already liked it, but I liked it even more when we found our seats on the desk—two giant tires stocked with cushions and blankets. This was more my level. I had been more overwhelmed than I’d realized with all the glitz the last week had brought. I was glad for something a little more grounded—something a little more like myself. Now all I needed was a cheap ass can of beer and one of my rainbow hoodies, and I would be in Madison Land.
“I love how much your face is lit up right now,” Rawn said, handing me a cola. He did not sit on the tire with me, but I should have expected as much. He wasn’t being pretentious. It just wasn’t his thing. It would almost feel unnatural to see him sitting so close to the floor in his designer suit. But that didn’t stop me from flopping into the blankets as if they were fresh snow.
I felt a pull as the boat backed out of the marina and then headed into the open waters of the Pacific. It was warm in Hawaii, much warmer than it was in Portland, but there was still a cool breeze against my face as we sailed along. I drank my cola, feeling more at peace than I had in a long time. The few hours we had in Hawaii made our time here all the more precious, but I made a vow that one day I would return. Leaning my head back against the second tire, I gazed up to the flawless night, watching the stars as intently as they watched me.
Lulled into a near-sleep, I was dismayed when the boat stopped. Whatever was about to happen, it would not be so peaceful. Rawn helped me up out of the refuge of the tires. He seemed excited, an excitement that he passed through to me with his touch.
“Okay, now I want to know. What are we doing?”
“I’m going to show you something beautiful and dangerous, just like you are,” Rawn revealed. “We’re going to swim with the sharks.”
I swallowed the last of my cola down, trying not to panic. All I could picture in my head was the image of Jaws and the famous scene with the girl swimming in the water. The girl may have had a banging body, but I did not want to meet the same fate as her.
“Don’t worry,” Rawn assured me. “We’ll be inside a cage. Together. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“I know you won’t. But Namaka may have something else in mind.”
“Who?” Rawn asked.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll do it. Not just because I trust you, but because I know I’ll regret it if I don’t. It’s not every day you get to meet Jaws up close.”
There’s a reason for that, I thought, arguing with myself.
“Jaws won’t be on the trip tonight. I doubt it, anyway. What you’ll see will be gray reef and Galapagos sharks,” Captain Mark stated, coming up behind us. “This is usually where I’d give my speech about how important it is to respect sharks and to tell you how we can conserve their environment, but you can read all about it on my website. For now, all I’ll say is don’t poke your head out of the cage.” He laughed heartily, as if it were the funniest joke in the world.
“There’s no room to stick your head out,” Rawn explained. “The cage is covered in poly glass.”
“But aren’t the sharks asleep?”
Captain Mark huffed.
“Night is when they’re most awake and active. The cage has a light attached to it, which will likely attract the sharks even more.”
“Great,” I mumbled.
“Sure is! Now off to the cage, soldiers. It’s time to dive in.”
“Good thing we stopped to purchase swimsuits at the airport,” I said, sliding my blouse over my head, revealing a purple bikini top underneath. “But I know now that was all part of your plan to make me shark bait.”
With the light on the boat shining strong, Rawn stripped down to his hunter green swim trunks, the muscles of his abs exposed, causing me to secrete. It was a good thing we’d be in the water soon. My hormones were already swimming in sex.
The cage was attached to the side of the boat. As Captain Mark dug snorkeling equipment out of a bag, I peeked over the side into the water. The lights on the cage were nearly as strong as the ones on the boat. In the shadow beyond the lights, I could make out a fin as it rushed beneath the belly of the cage.
Breathe, I reminded myself.
“I’ve never snorkeled before,” I told Rawn. “Does that matter?”
“Just inhale through the tube naturally. If water gets into it, puff it back out. But that shouldn’t happen. The cage doesn’t go anywhere. It stays attached to the boat. Your tube will always be above the surface of the water.”
It seemed easy enough. When we were geared up, Rawn stepped down the ladder into the cage first, submerging himself into the sea. Then he helped me, putting his hands against my legs as I lowered myself down. The water was warmer than I’d expected, and my body soon adjusted.
“My lady, you have to let go of the ladder at some point.”
I smiled up at Captain Mark and, taking a breath for courage, I released myself into the cage to face the sharks.
Our movement in the water had already caught the interest of two sharks. I didn’t have a clue what type of shark they were. They were smaller than a Great White, but they looked similar, with a gray fin and white underbelly. My heart raced as they swam around our cage. We were more than an intrigue to them. We were food.
The TROUBLE With BILLIONAIRES: Book 1 Page 10
