Alex left, incredibly grateful for the upcoming reprieve from the rest of her worries.
Chapter Sixteen
At twelve ten p.m., Debby left to pick up their order of Chinese food. Alex planned to arrive at one so they could eat and relax while they listened to the pre-game discussions. She felt anything but relaxed now. Number twelve, must like women’s sports. She looked forward to spending time with Alex, and she was happy to find out how much she liked women’s soccer, but her growing feelings for her were getting in the way of her intention to allow her to be who she was as a friend. She inadvertently kept resorting to her list whenever she thought of her lately. Today would be a good test to see if her resolve would hold.
Alex arrived at twelve forty-five, and they settled on the couch with their food. Buddy snuggled into Alex’s lap, and Abby settled at her feet.
“Buddy likes you.” Debby took a bite of her food and watched Alex stroke his back. She wondered why she hadn’t noticed how attractive her hands were.
“He’s a lover. Thanks for letting me bring Abby. I think she likes Buddy, too.”
“I rescued him as an adult, so I’m not sure if he’s ever seen a dog before. If he bothers you just push him off. He tends to think he’s the center of the world.”
“He’s a cat.” Alex grinned and shrugged.
Debby laughed. “Yeah. I guess that says it all, doesn’t it.”
“This is turning out to be a lopsided game.” Alex had shifted to sit next to her on the couch to make room for Abby, who had curled up on the opposite side of her.
Heat flowed up her leg from where their thighs pressed together. Neither made an effort to move away. “Yeah. It sure is. Hey, would you like a glass of wine?” Debby needed a distraction.
“I’d love one, if you have red.”
“My brother sent me a white and a red for his birthday in June.” She reluctantly moved off the couch to retrieve two full wine glasses.
“Is that like ‘it’s my birthday and my present is a gift to you’ philosophy?”
Debby shook her head. “I’ve never met anyone before who knew what that meant. My family’s been doing it for years.” She settled on the couch and nestled her leg against Alex’s.
“It makes sense. Everyone eventually gets a present, just not on their own birthday.”
Alex took a sip of wine, and Debby noticed her hands again. This time she lapsed into a fantasy of those hands on her body, so she took a swallow of wine.
The game continued to be uneventful, and within fifteen minutes, Alex slumped against Debby’s side, sound asleep. She put her feet up on the coffee table, carefully snaked her arm around her shoulders, and relished the feel of Alex in her arms. She tipped her head and Alex’s hair tickled her cheek. Her cradlesong of soft snores and even breathing lulled Debby into dozing. A few minutes later, she turned her head to inhale the clean scent of her shampoo and caught her sleepy gaze.
At that moment, thoughts of Alex’s evasion, her list, her exam, and any other reservations fled, and she bent slowly to capture her lips.
*
Alex was aware of three things as she tugged herself from sleep: Debby’s arm possessively holding her, her warm body pressed against her, and her silky lips on hers. She savored the faint taste of red wine and the desire coursing to her core as she slid her arm behind Debby and pulled her closer. Their breasts met and her nipples tightened. She deepened the kiss, and their tongues met as she reached across with her free arm and shifted nearly on top of her. They both moaned, and Alex’s resolve to keep their relationship platonic slipped away. Debby’s need called to her, and her heart seemed willing to answer.
She altered her position and allowed reason to slowly take over. She stroked Debby’s cheek and placed a light kiss on her lips before sinking back on the couch. “Whew. That was some kiss.”
Debby wrapped her in a hug and kissed her forehead before replying. “Yes, it was. It was a remarkable kiss.”
Alex permitted herself to absorb the feel of Debby’s embrace before allowing thoughts of WITSEC, Martinez, and La Familia to invade the serenity. “I probably should head home. Who won the game?”
“We did.” Debby pulled her closer and took a deep breath.
Alex permitted herself another heartbeat before disentangling herself and standing. Abby jumped off her position on the couch, and Buddy strode into the room to rub against her leg.
“Buddy wants to eat, and I need to set up Shadow for the night,” Debby said.
“Yeah. I need to get Abby home and feed her. Thanks for a wonderful day.” Alex hooked on Abby’s leash and searched for parting words. She didn’t want to leave, but she knew she couldn’t stay. Debby seemed to understand her dilemma and wrapped her arms around her.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Be careful driving home.” She whispered in her ear and kissed her lightly on the side of her neck before walking her to the door.
The realization of what she had done hit her as she drove home. This isn’t good. A state of panic had her taking deep breathes by the time she reached her parking lot. She hoped this huge mistake didn’t cost her the first friend she had made in her new world.
*
Debby concentrated on filling prescriptions and organizing the pharmacy shelves, but her mind kept wandering to Alex and their kiss. She had started the day resolved to enjoy watching the soccer game with a friend and ended up totally absorbed in Alex. She couldn’t accept anything less than honesty from Alex if they were to move to beyond friendship, but they had both expressed the desire for no dating when they first met, and one kiss wasn’t going to change that. Now she just had to convince her heart.
She locked the pharmacy door and went to find Kelly for lunch.
“Ready for some soup and salad?” She leaned on the counter at the nurses’ desk.
“I sure am.” Kelly set the chart she was holding on the desk and they walked to the cafeteria. “So, how’s that attractive friend of yours?”
“Do you mean Alex?”
“Yeah. I met her last week when she brought her dog to visit. She’s pretty hot.” Kelly picked up a tray and headed for the buffet line.
Debby bristled, taken off guard by a sudden surge of possessiveness. “She’s fine. We watched the U.S. women’s soccer game together yesterday.” She filled her tray with a plate of salad and proceeded to a table.
Kelly settled opposite her. “Is she single?”
“Who?” Debby knew she sounded defensive.
“Alex. She is just a friend, isn’t she?” Kelly looked uneasy.
“I’m sorry, Kelly. Yes. She is just a friend.” Debby sighed.
“Uh huh.”
“What does that mean?”
“That maybe you’d like to be more than friends?” Kelly took a bite of salad and grinned.
Debby picked at her plate, considering her response. “You know about Evelyn and how that ended, and you know how important honesty is to me. Alex told me that there are things in her life that she can’t tell me about. I don’t know why, but the bottom line is that she doesn’t trust me, or, at the very least, she simply can’t be totally open. I can’t accept that if we have anything more than a friendship.”
“But you’d like more?”
“There’s something that draws me to her, and we’re so comfortable together. I’m pretty mixed up about her.” Debby took a mouthful of salad, but hardly tasted it.
“She’s not Evelyn, and maybe she’s just especially private.” Kelly stopped eating and took a drink of water, staring at her thoughtfully.
“You sound like Kristen. She said the same thing. I think I’m still too scared to take a chance. I was devastated when Evelyn left, and I could never go through something like that again.”
“Yes. But like I said, Alex isn’t Evelyn, and you deserve to move on and have someone special in your life.”
“Thanks, Kelly. I’ll either figure it out, or I won’t.” She vowed to review her list as soon as she got h
ome. There’re plenty of items Alex can’t satisfy, so I won’t have to worry about it going further.
*
“Hi, Dad. How’re you doing?” Alex decided to try her father again, for information about the warehouse.
“I’m well. It’s good to hear from you. Are you and Jennifer getting on all right?”
“We’re fine, but I’m a bit uneasy. Joe told me that the FBI thinks the Knights Templar cartel was using a warehouse north of Novi to store drugs. Have you heard anything about that?”
“No. What else did Joe tell you?”
“That’s pretty much it. He said there was sporadic activity going on there and that they had the group under surveillance and to trust him. His usual.” She took a settling breath.
“The marshals have done a good job of keeping us safe. I think we should just trust them to do their job.”
“Would you mind asking your handler please? I’m nervous about this whole thing. I’m starting to have a life here, and I don’t want to move again. But with Martinez here, I’m constantly jumping at shadows.”
“Of course. I’ll call him today and see what I can find out. I’d have thought he would’ve told me something if he was suspicious.”
“I doubt it. Jen and I were given mere minutes to pack a bag and get out without any explanation last time.” Alex heard her dad sigh, but ignored it. She was tired of stifling her anger at having her life upended.
“I’ll do my best, honey.”
She heard him hang up, as usual without any good-bye, and tossed her phone onto her coffee table. She lay on the couch with her feet up, and a minute later, her phone rang.
“Hi, Debby.”
“Hey there. I told you I’d call today, so are you okay?”
Alex shook her head to dislodge the effects of her conversation with her dad and concentrate on Debby. She sounded hesitant. “I presume you’re asking about yesterday and our kiss.”
“Yeah. I was worried that you may be upset about it. I know we agreed to keep our association platonic.”
“It was only a kiss, Debby. We didn’t sleep together, and I have no intention of doing so.”
“Good. That’s good. I figured the same thing. That a little kiss wouldn’t change our agreement.”
Alex shook off the twinge of disappointment at Debby’s words. “No change at all. We’re good. It was just one of those things, spur of the moment and all that.”
“All right, then. Did you get the email from Nat about the next Meetup? It’s a trip to the cider mill.”
“Oh yeah. Let’s plan to go.”
“Sounds good. We’ll talk before then. Take care.”
Alex ended the call and reclined back on the couch, trying to convince herself that their kiss didn’t change a thing. She ignored the wave of desire when she thought of Debby’s soft lips, gentle touch, and warm hands. She’d kissed several women over the years, but had never before felt the tenderness with which Debby had held her, as if she was precious. Her sense of humor and attentiveness when they were out together was something else she’d never experienced. She could easily imagine them together, reading, going out to dinner or a show, or dancing, or riding horses side by side along a wooded path. The thought that scared her was the one where they awoke together on a Sunday, made love, and spent the rest of the morning drinking coffee and reading the paper in bed. She tried to push her feelings aside and persuade herself that she was only a friend, but hard as she tried, she couldn’t deny she was falling for Debby.
Chapter Seventeen
Jennifer perfected her downward facing dog pose while Alex made them hot chocolate and waited for her to finish.
“I’m going to change.” Jennifer waved and disappeared into her bedroom.
Maybe Debby would like to go to the outdoor market with us one day. The fall vegetables had arrived, and she had a great recipe for squash soup. Her thoughts seemed to wander to Debby a lot since their kiss. She considered the consequences of disclosing her situation to her. She would never put her in danger by telling her about her previous life, but would it be so bad if she knew she was in WITSEC? She knew she couldn’t tell her, but she lost herself in the fantasy until Jennifer returned.
“So what’s up with the Martinez guy?” Jennifer asked as they walked the few blocks to the market. The sun warmed the late summer air, and Alex took a deep breath before answering.
“I’m not sure. Joe told me they were watching a warehouse full of drugs, but he couldn’t connect this Martinez with it. If it is him, he’s covering his ass well.”
“I suppose we have to trust Joe. Surely if they thought we were in danger, they’d move us again.”
“Yeah. We do.” Alex squelched her frustration at being totally at the mercy of the marshals. She clenched her hands and released them in an attempt to expel her tension. “Let’s get a few squash and make some soup tonight.” Alex grabbed Jen’s hand and squeezed, wanting to make the worry lines around her eyes disappear.
“Sounds good to me. Isn’t Criminal Minds on tonight?”
“Yes.” Alex wondered if Debby liked the crime show, and the idea of criminals brought her back to their situation. Alex needed to find out if Jennifer knew anything about Phil and Martinez, and how to tell her if she didn’t. When they were back in the kitchen and getting dinner ready, she said, “How’re things going with Phillip?” Alex and Jennifer worked together peeling and cutting while they talked.
“It’s going well. I feel seen by him, you know? Like I can relax and be myself.” She chuckled. “Myself as Jennifer Reed, anyway.”
“Do you ever wish you could tell him? I mean tell him that you’re in Witness Protection, not who you were before.” Alex considered her earlier fantasy and cringed from the desire to be known and loved.
“I do.” Jennifer’s voice was soft, quiet. “But I’m afraid. Not for me, but for him.”
Alex knew exactly what she meant. Jennifer obviously had feelings for this guy, so she decided to wait a few more days for Joe’s call. “How do you manage when he asks about your past?”
Jennifer looked pensive. “We don’t really talk about it. We enjoy each other’s company, whether we’re going to the show or out to dinner. We go dancing and listen to music together, or just sit quietly reading or watching TV. I guess the past doesn’t matter much. We are who we are today, and it seems to be enough. He doesn’t ask, so I don’t have to tell, and that way no one is in danger.”
Could it be so simple? She thought about what was important to her about Debby. She knew about some of her family and where she grew up, but that wasn’t the information that triggered her feelings for her. She was kind, gentle, honest, and sexy. Debby evoked contentment and accepted her for who she was. She quivered at the memory of Debby’s strong arms and clean scent when she’s held her while she’d broken down into tears. Her questions felt probing but not intrusive, and she’d accepted her evasions but still remained her friend. Jennifer’s statement struck a chord. For the first time since becoming Alexandra Reed, she feared for someone besides herself and Jennifer. But what was she going to do about it?
*
Debby settled into her swivel rocker and nearly spilled her cup of tea when she lifted her arm so Buddy could jump into her lap. She reviewed the paper in her other hand while she sipped her tea. She had written her list after Evelyn left and had never revised it for anyone. It had kept her from being hurt again, but at the cost of finding love. She’d become comfortable being single and proficient at ignoring loneliness, but Alex seemed to easily fulfill most of the requirements on her list. Except the most important one.
She knew there was something Alex wasn’t telling her about her past, and she needed her to be forthright if there was going to be something romantic between them. No matter what questions she asked, or how much time they spent together, she remained evasive.
“I’m not sure what to do, Bud.” She rubbed his ears, and some of her tension eased at the sound of his purring. “It doesn’
t matter anyway. Our kiss meant nothing to her. Maybe I need to try the club again. At least maybe I can find someone who’ll want to sleep with me.” She set her list aside and turned on the TV. These days, it felt like she was in constant need of a distraction.
She startled when the phone rang just as someone on TV jumped out from behind a door.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Debby. It’s Alex.”
Debby sat up to orient herself. “Oh, hi, Alex.”
“Were you sleeping? Sorry. I didn’t think it would be too late to call.”
“No. It isn’t. I was just watching Criminal Minds.”
“I love that show. It’s a commercial now, so I called. I wanted to ask you something.”
Debby pushed Buddy off her lap and went to get a bottle of water. “Ask what?”
“I’d like to go to dinner after the cider mill next week. Will you go with me?”
Debby wasn’t sure how to interpret Alex’s question. Did she mean as a date? That didn’t sound right. “As a friend, correct?”
“Yes. I wanted you to know that I value your friendship, and I hope our kiss hasn’t spoiled that.”
“I value your friendship, too. I won’t deny that kiss was quite nice, but I agree that we need to keep our relationship friendly. It seems like neither of us are in the right place for more. I think.”
“Okay. Good. I’ll see you next Sunday then.”
Debby set her phone back on the end table and stretched before heading to bed. She tossed and turned, pushing aside thoughts of Alex. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t convince herself that their kiss was inconsequential. Something had shifted in her core while she’d held Alex, and she wasn’t sure she could settle it back again. Or if that’s what she wanted.
*
“What do you mean a private party? That’s not my job. I don’t know anything about hosting at parties.” Alex stared at her boss, horrified.
Imperfect Truth Page 11
