by Riley Knight
But the church events, the craft fairs, the choir, and Christmas play practices, which Stephen was involved with once more, they all took up way more time than he ever would have thought. And then there was the fact that the first half of the school year was drawing to a close, and Will was still not caught up on his marking.
It was a busy time, but Will couldn’t deny that he sort of loved it. It was only now that his life was full of light and joy that he realized just how miserable he had been for so long without even knowing it. Stephen had been the only person in his life, really, for far too many years, and with Will distracted and giving him more freedom, Stephen was blossoming into a strong, resourceful, confident young man. He was still quiet, but there was a sort of happiness to him that hadn’t been there before. Not that Stephen had been miserable, it was just that he had been more quietly content than actually happy before.
He was happy now. And it made a huge difference.
This particular event, which was currently taking Will away from his massive mountain of marking, was something that Judah had really struggled to get together. For a long time, from nearly the beginning, Will had known that Judah and Stephen shared something which Will didn’t. They both had a true, deep, sincere love of music, and while Will could certainly appreciate a good tune, he wasn’t much of a singer. Not so Stephen and Judah, who were actually a pleasure to listen to.
This was something new for Will. Because while Jack had been very involved in his church, Will had never gotten into it. So to have this Christmas themed sing-a-long, he had to admit, he felt quite a bit like a fish out of water as he looked around at the throng of smiling people.
But Judah had what he wanted. Judah had wanted for the church to be the center of the town, and he had gotten that. He had wanted the church to be welcoming and accepting, and it was. People had come for miles around for this event, and for that, Will would have done a lot more than just sing a few Christmas carols to see Judah looking so happy.
The basement of the church was filled with rows and rows of tables, and Will sat beside his boyfriend, watching the smile on his face and sort of marveling at how things had turned out. Here he was, at a church event that no one had even had to drag him to, the man he loved on one side of him and his son on the other side. A family. Or that’s how it felt to him, anyway.
The singing started, and to be honest, Will didn’t sing that much. He didn’t know a lot of the songs, for one thing, but more than that, he sort of just wanted to focus on the swirl of sound around him, many voices lifted in song together. He might not believe in everything that they sang, but listening to them, and hearing Stephen and Judah at the same time, was undoubtedly pleasant.
After the singing, there was the coffee time and mingling that Will had come to expect from these sort of church events. This time, a group of kind elders had brought in sugar cookies, homemade, neatly decorated in the shape of bells and Christmas trees, and the mood was definitely celebratory. Will nibbled on a cookie and drank some fairly decent black coffee and really tried to understand the changes in his life.
After all, he was about to make one more change, this one quite a bit bigger.
He had been over at Judah’s house just a few days ago, for the very first time. They usually went to Will’s house, which just made more sense for them because they both wanted to be around for Stephen when he needed them. And while there, Will had found himself shocked to find that Judah was staying in a tiny studio apartment in an older building. The place was well maintained, but as the only apartment building in town, the landlord knew that he didn’t have to do any major renovations.
Meanwhile, Will had all of this space in the house he had bought. It was no mansion, but he’d had enough money when he moved in to buy something that he could never have even dreamed of in Seattle. And he was paying a mortgage now for a three bedroom rancher, while Judah lived in a place that would easily fit into Will’s living room.
He glanced around and realized that something very rare was happening. He and Judah were alone. The groups of people swirling around the room were all away from them for the moment, and Stephen was hanging out with Ruby and Jesse, as inseparable as ever.
The time was now, Will realized. He had thought it would be after, but these days, who knew when he’d get another chance? Besides, he wanted this settled. He thought he knew how it would go but he couldn’t be completely sure until he tried.
“Judah,” Will said quietly, and the strangest thing about this was how strange it didn’t feel. He was such a private person, and he had never spent much time in a church voluntarily, so this had to be just about the weirdest place possible for him to do this. But it felt right, and for once, he just went on his intuition. “I have to tell you something.”
Judah turned to look at him, and the other man’s cheeks were flushed a delicate pink with the success of this event, his eyes shimmering like ice and water and sky and earth all in one. He had never seen eyes like that before Judah, but he couldn’t let himself get distracted by them now.
“What is it?” Judah asked, and Will frowned. How had he gone this long without saying these words? He had felt them for so long, and he couldn’t go another moment without Judah knowing where things stood with them.
“I love you.”
Those three words, Will had only said them to Stephen, and to Jack, but not very often and not for a very long time. Maybe that was why he had waited so long to say them to Judah. He had wanted to be completely sure, or maybe he had just been scared.
But they were out there, and Will watched as a slow smile spread over the face that was as familiar to him as his own by now. Maybe more so, since he spent so much time looking at it, far more than he did his own.
“I love you, too.” Judah’s voice was soft, almost too soft to hear, but he could have just mouthed the words, and Will would have recognized the shape of them and been happy.
Will reached into his pocket, his fingers anxiously plucking until he got what he was looking for. At first, they wouldn’t seem to close on the object, but he finally tugged it free and handed it over to Judah.
“It’s a keyring,” Will informed him, as though Judah couldn’t see that for himself perfectly well. “I want you to move in with me.”
It was too soon, maybe. Or some people might say so. But he and Judah had been through a lot in the relatively short time that they had known each other. Besides, how could Will leave Judah to stay in that tiny place?
“Is Stephen okay with that?” Judah accepted the keys, but Will realized that he would hand them right back to Will if he didn’t like the answer to that question. That only made him love Judah that much more, the knowledge that Stephen was truly cared about by Judah.
He could never have been with someone who didn’t, but Judah almost treated Stephen like he, too, was his father. From anyone else, that would have deeply irritated Will, but from Judah, it just made him consider what it would be like if Judah officially took on the job.
They were thoughts for the future. For now, he knew that he was just lucky that Judah hadn’t been freaked out by how fast Will was moving. Maybe that meant it really was right, that Judah was willing to entertain the thought at all.
“Stephen is more than okay with it,” Will told him honestly. He had asked his son before he had even gotten serious about the idea. “He thinks it’s a great idea. So will you?”
Judah didn’t answer, not with words, anyway. But he did lean in and pressed his lips against Will’s in a brief, but fervent, kiss, and that was more than enough.
* * *
JUDAH
He didn’t have much to pack, and since he had been renting his place month to month, it was very simple to give his notice and drive away with his few worldly possessions in the trunk of his car. It took even less time on the other end, with Will and a beaming Stephen to help him carry things in.
And just like that, he was living with them. Part of a family, or so it felt, and the mo
st incredible part to him was that he didn’t even have to try to hide it. No one cared much, and if they judged him, then they kept it to themselves. The people of this town had come to accept Judah and Will, just as they had the other two gay couples in town.
How strange to be in a situation where the way he was was the way that would be protected, and where bigots and homophobes would find themselves shunned. His parents would hate this place. Which was fine with him. Someday soon, he was going to have to tell them about this, to at least give them the chance to accept him, but his hopes weren’t high.
That night, when Stephen was asleep, or at least quiet in his room, Judah settled down into the warm, lush embrace of the bed, so much more comfortable than the one that had come with the place he had been renting. He felt the slight yielding of the mattress, the sweet weight of the sheets and blankets on top of him, and the way Will’s weight made the bed dip so that Judah shifted closer to him as his boyfriend got into bed.
“I want you to do something for me,” Judah said quietly. It was terrifying to ask, in a way, since the last time he had asked this had been right before Jack had shown up at Will’s house and everything had utterly disintegrated after that. Since then, Judah had wanted to restart what had been messed up there, but he hadn’t been quite sure of when the right time would be.
At first, he’d been waiting for Will to ask, but Will was a gentleman, and he wouldn’t bring it up first. This was Judah’s issue, and it was his job to be brave enough to ask for what he wanted. He had started to realize that even before Will had told him that he loved him and wanted him to move in.
That only solidified it, though, and he reclined on the bed, wondering how he was going to put this into words. If it would remind them both of how bad it had been when Jack had come to the door and Judah had walked out of it.
“What is it? Anything,” Will promised, and Judah looked into his lover’s earnest face and knew that he meant it. Instantly, his shoulders relaxed, and he let out a breath that he hadn’t even known until then that he was holding.
Not that he didn’t struggle with the words a little bit, because he did. His life to this point hadn’t equipped him to deal with the reality of this situation, and he didn’t have nearly the vocabulary that he might like. He was just going to have to trust Will to understand him and not to make fun of him for his openness.
“I want you inside of me,” Judah told him, struggling with the words a little. In some ways, despite all of the things that he and Will had done, he knew that he was still so naive. Maybe he always would be, because of the way his life had started. Because of how long it had been until he met someone that he could feel comfortable with. “I want you to …”
His voice trailed off, because Will, smiling, laid his finger against Judah’s lips, quieting him.
“You want me to make love to you.”
Judah let out a soft gasp, and then, his words stolen from him, he just nodded his head emphatically. His trust, it seemed, was not misplaced. Not only was Will not making fun of him for his inexperience, but he was actually right there with the exact perfect words, words that would have been so hard for Judah to come up with himself.
“I’ll do my best to be worthy of this honor,” Will said solemnly, in the sort of way which would have sounded so awkward coming from most people. But he was so obviously sincere, and instead, it just touched Judah deeply. This was a big deal to Will, and that meant that Judah had been right to trust him.
Gently, Will kissed Judah, and he let his arms wrap around Will and pulled him on top of him. Maybe he couldn’t say the words, but he could hopefully show Will through his actions that he really, really did want this.
Already, his body was humming with arousal, desire, need. It had been for a while, though it had also been shot through with little bursts of nerves, of fear. But that was dying down now, and when Will eased himself on top of him, all he felt was need and eagerness and a desire to be as close to Will as he could.
There was an urge to close his eyes, an urge to shame, but when he looked right into Will’s eyes, both of those urges faded away. So he kept his eyes locked on Will, watching as he reached for the bedside table and the handy tube of lubricant that they kept there.
“Spread your legs,” Will whispered, so sweetly, so intimately, that Judah did as he was told without even a twinge of nerves. He knew the mechanics of this act by now, but what he couldn’t really expect was how it felt to have slippery, cool fingers pressing against the entrance to his body, seeking entry but not demanding it.
At first, his body tightened, but quicker than he could have imagined he relaxed and let the tip of one finger in. The feeling was strange, and it only got stranger as Will pressed further, but he went so slowly, and there was so much lube that it didn’t hurt. It wasn’t even uncomfortable, just …
And then Will crooked his finger in the exact right way and Judah gasped and had to muffle his soft cry of surprise and pleasure in his own arm. That finger was pressed right against a spot that he had never experienced himself. He had found it in Will before, but he had never known that starburst of pleasure which stole his breath and made his whole body clench and try to pull Will’s finger deeper.
Another finger joined the first, and sooner than Judah would have thought was possible, he was hunching his hips, arching his back, doing anything to try to get those fingers deeper inside of him. Will was so meticulous because of course, he was. That was just who he was, preparing Judah so thoroughly that it wasn’t long until he was ready. Or maybe it was an hour, a day, a year. He couldn’t tell, as lost in the rising heat as he was.
“Now,” he called suddenly, pulling his arm away from his face, looking into Will’s eyes as he had been the whole time. “Will, now. Please!”
Will chuckled softly, which probably would have annoyed Judah more if he wasn’t also given what he wanted. Will’s fingers slid free, leaving him feeling uncomfortably aware of how empty he was, but not for long.
“On your back,” Will finally ordered, his voice sweet and darker than usual and rich, his eyes practically burning. He pulled away for long enough that Judah could do as he was told, and although Judah was confused, he didn’t hesitate before doing it. He ended up sort of half arched up, more on his elbows than actually on the mattress.
“Hold on tight, my love,” Will whispered, and then he was pushing Judah’s legs even further open as he spread more lube on his cock. There was one moment of misgiving when he realized just how big Will was, and he had to wonder if he would be able to take that at all, but there was really no time to worry about it.
Will positioned himself carefully, then started to drive in. Judah gasped and would have cried out if Will hadn’t leaned down to kiss him as though he understood just how difficult Judah would find it to hold himself back.
“Will,” he moaned into the kiss, and he found himself wrapping his legs around Will, desperate to feel him fully inside of him.
How had he gone his whole life without this? And it wasn’t just the pleasure, even though it seemed to burn through his whole body until he thought he must be giving off sparks through his fingertips. It was this sense that he and Will were actually, really together, as though giving his body to Will had cemented something between them.
Judah dug his heels into Will’s legs, clinging to him, but Will didn’t rush, and he was in control of this. There was nothing that Judah could do but arch toward him, feeling the slick movement of Will’s cock inside of him, the electric tingles which arced through him as he felt the blunt head rubbing and nudging against his prostate.
It was probably good that Will was going slow, because for his first time, Judah was sure that he would have shot off ages ago if not for Will’s patience. He was set to go off like a rocket, his own cock throbbing heavily and almost painfully against his stomach, oozing precome.
But it wasn’t long before the need to be taken, to be filled up and to thrust and to strain closer together overtook h
im. He gasped, and his hands clutched onto Will’s shoulders, his hips rising in a futile attempt to make Will go faster.
“Please,” he finally gasped, his short nails scrabbling at Will’s shoulders, his cock leaking so much that it almost felt like he’d spilled all over himself already. Had he thought that he had felt desperation before? He hadn’t, not until now, when his whole body screamed for release and if only Will would move a little quicker …
Will withdrew all the way, right to the very tip, and Judah gasped, and his body tightened up in denial. “No, please,” he whispered, sure that he had offended Will, that he had been too demanding, too much. But Will just gave him a surprisingly impish smirk and then, all at once, he slammed deep inside of Judah once more.
Instantly, he came. There was no warning that he could have given because he didn’t have any warning himself. Just like that, his world went to pieces, pleasure ripping him apart and Will’s eyes putting him back together. It was too intense, too deeply personal, an experience, and right then he knew one thing for a fact.
“I’m glad I waited.”
It was unthinkable that he could have done this with anyone else. Only Will. And from the smile on his face, Will completely agreed.
EPILOGUE
JUDAH
It was Judah’s favorite time of the year and always had been. Of course, most children loved Christmas, but for him, it had never really been about the presents or the food, like it was for many people. For him, it was the whole season. The togetherness. During this season, his family had made an effort, all of them, to get along.
A lot of good memories of his parents came from Christmas, and it was pretty much only then that he had felt anything like approval from them. Everything else that he had ever done had been a disappointment to them, so of course, he’d latched onto the few signs of approval that he had gotten.
It was more than that, though. It wasn’t just his parents that seemed to be cheered up, to be brought together, by the holiday. It seemed like everyone was in a better mood, everyone was giving and thinking of others, and he couldn’t help but think that was a good thing.
