by Claire Adams
There weren't a lot of people around when I got there, which was a good thing. I liked walking the perimeter so I could see that weird contrast between the beach, plants, and trees and the bare red soil of the rock garden. It didn't make sense, how it was so bare, just there in the middle of a regular landscape, but there it was.
I never did shit like this when I was back in LA, even though the option was totally there — hiking and taking walks. Going out in nature to be alone. Nope, that was something I'd picked up when I'd come to Lanai. Huh. That was odd.
It was like here in Lanai, I got out a lot more, I was less stressed, and I was taking better care of myself. Weird. It was like I was miserable in LA and hadn't realized it till I had gotten here. If there was a competition between the two, LA was losing, big time.
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Great. Who was I going to ignore now? I pulled it out waiting to see Kirsten's name since she was on a roll calling me at exactly the right time to ruin everything. It wasn't though. It was my father. I put the phone to my ear, happy that he had called.
"Dad?"
"Hi, Nate, you're up," he said, a little surprised. "I thought I'd have to try again later." I laughed. My days had started after noon for a long time.
"Yeah. I figured I was losing too much daylight getting up at noon all the time."
"That's great. You sound like you're having a good time."
"Great time actually. You actually caught me thinking about how much I don't want to come back to LA."
"Gotta come back to work some time," he said.
"Yeah," I said shrugging, wondering what work even really was anymore. "How are you?"
"Busy."
"Maybe you should take a break," I told him. He laughed.
"Maybe I should come there. Sounds like it’s doing you good."
"It is. I actually stopped using about a month ago. I feel great."
"That's great news, son," he said.
"Yeah. Maybe before I have to come back, I'll have all the band shit figured out."
"Just take it easy the rest of the time you're there," he said. "You'll figure it out."
"Thanks, Dad," I said. We talked a little longer before I let him go to get back to his work.
He was the one person on the mainland I actually wanted to see again once I had to leave Lanai. Poor guy. He should have gotten a son who liked wearing suits and working in offices. He was a champ, though. I would have probably self-destructed a long time ago if I didn't have him.
That brought the number to two: my dad and Abby. Everyone else could die in a fire; I didn't give a fuck. They probably knew the most about me after myself. Abby had nursed me through my withdrawal for fuck's sake; she'd seen everything.
I thought about her at work. Was she busy tonight? I didn't know. I didn't know a lot of things. I had just been to her house for the first time yesterday.
I knew she had a scar on her neck, was a kind and beautiful person, and what her kisses tasted like, but....that was about it. I didn't even know her middle name. Where was she born? Did she like peanut butter crunchy or smooth? I wanted to know. How had we known each other this long, and I had never thought to ask her any of that shit? That definitely had to change.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Abby
You're kind and good, Abby. I don't know when your birthday is or your parents' names, but I want to know. He wanted to know. He cared enough to want to get to know me.
I couldn't believe I was doing this again, but how could I not? I knew this wasn't permanent, but what in life was? This was what I wanted, and now I knew that it was what he wanted, too. I wanted to spend time and get to know him, as well. We still had some time and we wanted the same thing so...why not? Just this once, why not?
I practically skipped to work, I was feeling so good. I walked straight into the back to the changing room and found Makani there.
"Hey," I said. She turned and smiled at me.
"Hey. Did you get the notice from Joseph this morning?" she asked me.
"What notice?" I asked. I hadn't been paying the best attention, I realized.
"No desk duty today. We're taking a group out hiking," she said.
"Really? Cool," I said, shrugging. I walked over to my locker and started changing.
"You're in a good mood today," she quipped.
"I'm always in a good mood."
"I'd say a little better than usual. It couldn't be because of a certain guy who I left you with last night, could it?" she asked, grinning at me.
"I could ask you the same thing," I shot back. "Did you make it home last night?"
"His place was closer," she said shrugging. I laughed.
"Okay, I want details," I said.
"Well, when we got there, we talked a lot. We really managed to clear the air and talk about what we both still wanted from each other," she said coyly.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, skip to the good part," I said. She laughed.
"It was amazing," she gushed. "I swear, I didn't even realize how long it had been until we were back in his bed."
"Has he picked up any new skills since you were last together?" I asked cheekily.
"It was new since it had been a while, but it all felt so familiar. Our bodies just fit, you know? That part of the relationship had never been a problem. It felt like that was what I'd been missing."
"Sex?"
"Well, yeah, but not just that. Keno. Him as a person. His jokes, his weird stories, his company. The sex was incredible, but I feel like something bigger happened. I think we reconnected. I think we might be ready to give it another shot."
"He's been ready to give it another shot since you broke up," I said pointedly.
"I'm ready now, too. You were right about me being scared. But I know what it’s like to be without him now, and I hate it. Whatever happens, I know I want to still be with him." I smiled. Finally, the Cold War was over.
"I'm so happy you guys worked it out," I said.
"What about you and Nate?"
"We talked," I said.
"And then?" she urged.
"And then...we made up for lost time," I said shyly. Makani laughed.
"I knew he was going to spend the night. How was it?"
"Even better than the first time. I was so upset about what happened between us, and now I don't even care. I don't care that he's leaving. I don't care that he hurt me. I just want to enjoy him while I still can."
"Does he feel the same way?"
"He said he wants to spend more time together. Get to know me. This was exactly what I wanted in the first place," I said.
"Enjoy it. Take advantage of the time you have left. Maybe he might start coming back just to see you."
"I don't know about all that," I said sighing, "but you're right. I really want to do this with him."
"Not that he needs it, but he totally has the best friend stamp of approval," she said. I smiled, thanking her.
"Do you know anything about the people we're taking out today?" I asked her. She didn't. It wasn’t a group who had arrived together. It was a collection of people who had just booked a hike at the same time.
That was cool; I liked hikes. A lot of people didn't really think hiking when they thought of Hawai'i, but Lanai had some amazing trails. So much of the island was still rugged and wild.
The group we had was a mixed bunch, some older and younger people. For the sake of keeping everyone happy and making sure everyone was okay during the hike, we chose a coastal trail instead of an inland one. That way they could enjoy the beach and coastal cliffs instead of just forest. The Pu'upehe trail went along Hulupoe Beach and up a cliff where we would be able to see Sweetheart Rock.
There were a few kids on the hike with us. They ran ahead, exploring the tide pools and hopping along the rocks usually covered with water when the tide was in. In the group were a few people who were around the same age as we were. Rayleigh and Hank were there, too, but they hung around the back of the pack taking a lot of photograph
s. I walked with Makani. It was a beautiful day, as usual. Desk duty wasn't bad, but it was nice to get outside sometimes.
I lasted no time at all before I started wondering where Nate was and what he was doing. I sort of wished he had some on the hike with us. He seemed pretty athletic; he'd be able to hack it. A guy in a black baseball cap fell into step next to me. I glanced at him and smiled.
"Hey," he said.
"Hi. What's your name?"
"Clay. What's yours?"
"Abby. This is Makani," I told him. "You checked in this past weekend, didn't you?"
"Yeah. You live here on the island?"
"Mm-hmm. Where are you visiting from?"
"New York."
"What do you think of Lanai?"
"I usually stay on Oahu, but I might be coming back here," he said.
"You should," I said.
"I think I will. I'd love to hang out again."
"Oh, are you a big hiker?" I asked, dodging the obvious flirtation.
"I could become one," he said. Oh boy, I thought. "When do you get off work?"
"Depends on why you're asking."
"Let's go somewhere for drinks," he suggested.
"Can't," I said apologetically motioning to Makani.
"Does she want to come, too?"
"No, she's not going anywhere with you," Makani said.
"Are you together or something?" he asked.
"Ding, ding, ding," I said, laughing with Makani. I only used the island wife excuse when guys weren't taking no for an answer. There was no truth to it. Honestly, I was interested in Nate, and this guy was doing nothing for me. He left me alone, falling back in the group.
We got back to the hotel, walking up from the beach. The group started breaking up since we were on the familiar trail up to the hotel.
"Abby?" I heard someone call behind me. I stopped. Makani stopped with me. Rayleigh was hurrying up the trail to catch up with me.
"Is everything okay?" Makani asked.
"She probably just wants to ask me something."
"I'll wait over here," she said. Rayleigh caught up to me with Hank.
"Oh, my God. I knew you were familiar when we first saw you," she said, panting.
"What are you talking about?" I asked her.
"We know who you are. You're that girl. We heard the story years ago. Your father was the one who did all those killings in Texas," Hank said. My jaw dropped.
"N-no. You definitely have the wrong person," I stammered.
"No. Randall McCune. His daughter was the only survivor." My throat felt like it was being squeezed. No, no, no. How the hell did he find out? How did he know? I shook my head frantically, unable to get any words out.
"Abby, could you come with me? Excuse us, please, sir. We have to return to the hotel," I heard Makani say to Hank. I felt her take my arm and quickly pull me away from them. I let her pull me along like a ragdoll. I felt empty, like someone had knocked me over the head and I still hadn't gotten my bearings back yet.
Makani was speaking the entire way up to the main hotel building, but I didn't hear a thing she said. We passed the desk and went straight into the employee changing room. She pushed me down onto a bench so I could sit.
"Abby, Abby?" she said shaking my shoulders. I met her eyes. She looked worried.
"Who told them?" I asked.
"I don't know. They must have found out from somewhere. Are you all right?" she asked.
I sighed. Was I? No. I wasn't. He had said his name. I had tried for years to forget that name. It plunged me right back where it had happened. My father. My mother. Her screaming. Him yelling. The knife against my neck. I felt like I was going to be sick. I shot up.
"Where is Joseph?" I asked her.
"His office. Why?"
"I have to go."
"I'll come with you," she said.
"I just need a little time. I'm okay," I assured her.
"Are you sure?" she asked. I nodded.
"I'm coming to your house tonight."
"I'll call you," I said.
"Abby," she said.
"I'm fine. Just a little shook up," I told her, trying to convince myself at the same time.
"If you don't call, I'm coming over," she said resolutely. I nodded. She let me go. I knocked loudly on Joseph's door. He barked for me to come inside.
"Mr. Kalo, I-"
"Back already?" he asked, cutting me off.
"Yes, sir. I know its short notice, but I have to ask for the rest of the day off," I said hurriedly.
"Today isn't your day off," he said.
"I know, but it’s an emergency. I have to... I can't.... I would never ask for this unless I had to," I said desperately.
"What's the matter with you? Are you sick?" he asked.
"I'm just not feeling very good after that hike," I said. I was barely hanging on, I didn't want to cry in front of my boss, but I was getting very close to doing just that.
"I can't let you go today," he said.
A sob fought its way out of my mouth before I could stop it. I clamped my hand over my mouth to stop myself, but I was too late. I was already gone. I bent in half, sobbing. I felt like my whole world had just shattered, and everything I had built for myself in Lanai was going to be ruined.
"Oh my God," I heard Joseph say over my sobs. I heard him move and felt his hands on my back. "Just leave. Take the rest of the day off and come back tomorrow," he said awkwardly. I tried to speak to thank him, but I couldn't. He patted my back woodenly, gently ushering me outside.
I went back to the changing room and washed my face. God. How embarrassing. I quickly left, not bothering to change out of my hiking gear. I just needed a minute. I’d be fine after a couple hours alone.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Nate
It was about lunch time when I got back to the resort. Noon: the time I'd usually be getting up. This was nice. You actually got a lot done when you woke up earlier in the day. Who knew?
I wanted to see Abby. Her boss and I had an understanding. I'd just ask him to let me steal her away on a tour of the island or something. He'd let her if it was me. I wanted to start now. We'd go out to eat or something. Or even stay in my suite together and order food up. Go to the beach, stay at her house. Anything. I just wanted it to be with her.
I got to the main building, making a beeline for the desk before I stopped short. The person there wasn't a gorgeous, petite blonde. It wasn't Makani, either. I slowed down walking over to her.
"Good afternoon, sir; how are you today?" she asked me, smiling.
"Great. Thanks. Where is Abby? She's usually at this desk. I need to talk to her."
"Abby isn't working today. I'm sure I'll be able to assist you with your inquiry."
"Why not? Where is she?"
"I'm afraid I can't answer that for you. She took the rest of the day off. What did you want to ask her? I'm sure I can help you," she said.
"Where is the manager? I need to talk to him," I said. I watched her face as she seemed to sit there and contemplate whether she was going to do what I had just asked her to do.
"One moment, please," she said. She picked her phone up and dialed a number.
"Are you calling him?" I asked. She nodded, answering the phone. "Tell him Nate Stone wants to talk to him," I said.
"One moment, sir. I'll be right with you," she said to me placing her hand on the mouthpiece.
"Let me talk to him," I said again, louder. I was getting irritated. She listened to her boss on the phone for a few seconds before she looked at me.
"Mr. Kalo has asked to speak to you," she said quietly, handing me the receiver. Didn't I fucking tell her? I put the phone to my ear.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Stone. How are you?”
"Yeah, great. I need to know where Abby is," I said, impatiently.
"Abby requested to take the rest of the day off," he said
"Why? Where did she go?"
"She said it was an emergency.
She will be back at her station tomorrow morning," he said. I thanked him and handed the phone back to the desk girl. I walked away, up towards my suite.
Emergency. She had had an emergency. What did that even mean? Where the hell would she go? Something in me hoped that when I opened my suite, she'd be up there. That she'd have gotten one of the people from housekeeping or something to let her in and wanted to surprise me.
Would she really lie like that to get out of work just to see me? It seemed a little unlikely, that wasn't her, even if I sort of wished that was something that she would have done. She loved her work. I got to my suite and threw the door open, walking straight to the bedroom. It was empty. Spotless, but empty. I checked the other rooms, even the deck, looking for her. She wasn't there.
Stay calm, man. Everything is fine. I was probably just looking in the wrong place. I needed to check her house before I started jumping to conclusions. I went back down the stairs and started down the trail Keno and I had used to get to her house the night before. This was the first place I should have come looking for her, I thought. She was there taking care of whatever her emergency was.
I got down to the beach and walked up to her back porch, climbing the short flight of stairs. I banged on the door, knocking.
"Abby?" I called. Nothing. I knocked again, calling her name louder. Still nothing. I couldn't even hear anything inside. I walked around the house and tried the door on the other side. Same thing. Nothing.
Shit. She was a grown woman, and this was where she lived, but now I was getting worried. Where the hell was she? I started back up towards the hotel. Her boss had said that she had an emergency, but if that was what it was, why had Makani been gone, too? What was going on?
I didn't want to freak out and then find she had just gone to the store or something. Where was Makani? She was her best friend; she had to know something. Keno was her friend, too; maybe he knew something. He was at the bar. I took a detour, heading for the bar instead of the hotel building. I spotted Keno where he usually was. With him was Makani, strangely. She was sitting at the bar across from him.
"Nate," Keno said, noticing me. Makani stopped talking and watched me as I approached, smiling when she saw me.
