“Dad’s on the way.”
“Good. Let’s start with that—patient’s name and guardian’s name.”
Jared gave him all the information he could. When he asked whether Jared knew where her insurance card was, he went for her backpack. He kept his in his wallet. He hoped Emily did the same. He found her phone first, and shoved it into his pocket as he continued digging for the wallet. He came up with it, and the paramedic was entering the information onto his tablet when another siren came wailing, and shortly thereafter, Dad, his lawyer and Detective Diaz came pouring in, making the house suddenly seem small.
Dad rushed right for Emily’s room, but the officer inside stopped him at the door. “I’m afraid this is a crime scene,” he said.
“A what?” he asked, stunned.
“You can ride with her to the hospital,” the paramedic inside said. “Would you let my partner know we’re ready to move her?”
Dad walked woodenly back to us, like he’d almost forgotten how to walk even though he’d been doing it all his life.
“Your partner’s ready for you,” he said to the paramedic, who was already moving down the hallway, no doubt having heard like Jared had. Their house was anything but soundproof.
Dad looked at Jared, “What the hell happened?”
Jared sank down into a seat at the kitchen table. He understood forgetting how to walk, because it seemed his own legs had forgotten how to hold him up. “I stayed for track. I was going to get kicked off the team if I missed another practice, and I never thought … Someone made it look like Emily hurt herself. And there’s a horrible note, but she didn’t write it. I know she didn’t.”
“How?”
“For one thing, it’s a print-out. Why would you type your suicide note, unless you were sending it electronically? You wouldn’t. Emily wouldn’t.”
“You left her alone?” his father said, his voice dangerously even. The calm before the storm.
“And I hate myself for it, okay? I’ll never forgive myself. You want to trash me too?”
Dad looked like he wanted exactly that. And probably would have gone for it if Detective Diaz hadn’t been right there watching. But with his wife murdered and his daughter an attempted suicide—or so it appeared, even if Jared said differently—he didn’t dare do anything but the caring father routine. Jared feared what would come later.
His father turned away rather than say anything at all, only to turn back a second later. “I can’t ride in the ambulance and leave Jared home alone,” he said to the detective taking it all in. “I’ll have to drop him off at my mother’s and meet Emily at the hospital.”
“I can get him there,” the detective said. “You should be with your daughter.”
Jared had been about to protest as well. Emily needed Dad. He sure as hell didn’t, but it was better that it came from the detective. If he’d said anything, Dad would have been dead set against it automatically.
Dad chewed on that. He didn’t appear to like it one bit, but he forced out a grudging, “Thanks. I’ll call Mom now.”
He stepped out their door to have the conversation on their stoop. No one followed him, but Jared had to wonder whether the sirens had brought the neighbors out again to watch their family drama.
He remembered Emily’s phone when he had to move it in order to sit in the detective’s car—up front, at least, rather than in the back like a suspect. He had to force himself not to scroll through it right there, not to draw attention to it. The detective might confiscate it as evidence. If he found anything, he’d turn it over, but … he had to look for himself. The detective would never tell him what he discovered. If someone had hurt Emily—no, not if; someone had hurt Emily—then he had to know. But if he had any doubt, even knowing Emily, knowing she would never have done it, he couldn’t trust the police to see through to the truth. Luckily, Emily’s phone case was blue, her favorite color, rather than pink or polka dotted or whatever. The detective only glanced over as he shifted the phone to another pocket.
“New phone?” he asked.
“Yes,” Jared lied.
He left it at that.
Gran put him to work the second he walked through the door, maybe thinking to distract him. Maybe because she needed help Dad had been too busy lately to give her.
He took out the trash, cleaned up enough that he filled a second bag to go out, and grabbed a third. He dumped them all and wheeled the can to the curb, since tomorrow was pick-up day. Then he scrubbed counters, washed dishes … He was midway through the dishes when his hands started to shake. He hadn’t realized he was in shock, but something must have worn off, because suddenly he wasn’t distracted and numb, but full-on shaking, the glass in his hand threatening to crack from the force of the bottle brush banging against it.
He had to put it down before it shattered in his hand. He stood there, wrist-deep in suds, mind suddenly full of oh crap, oh crap, oh Emily, you’ve got to be okay. He knew she was. That same instinct that had told him something had gone horribly wrong for Mom told him that Emily was going to make it, but what kind of pain was she in? And what were they doing to her at the hospital? Was she free to move or had they strapped her down, thinking she was a danger to herself or others? Had she woken up? Had the police been right there—taking pictures, making accusations?
What was Dad saying? Was he supporting Jared’s statement that Emily couldn’t have hurt herself or Mom? Or did he see a way to get himself off the hook, maybe thinking they’d go lightly on Emily because of her age and what he could claim as mental disturbance?
Jared needed to be there. He had to protect Emily.
Gran called out from the living room, which was just off of the kitchen beyond a weird sort of half wall below with cabinetry above and below like stalagmite and stalactites, leaving only a narrow space between them as a pass-through for food. “You done in there?” she asked. “I don’t hear the water running.”
He glared, though she couldn’t see him. Emily had almost died and she was worried about whether he was slacking.
“I need air,” he said abruptly. He didn’t care what she thought of that. Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe.
He walked right out the front door, then around the side of the house where there were no windows and pressed his back to it. The closest neighbor’s yard started only a few feet away, on the other side of a palisade fence. It was the most privacy he was going to get. He gulped in air and tried to still his shaking hands enough so that he could read the screen of Emily’s phone when he unlocked it with her code.
He called Dad before anything, looking for an update, but the phone went straight to voicemail again, and Jared left a message begging him to call with news. Maybe he could get Gran to drive him over to see Emily, but he didn’t even know if they were allowing her visitors. Or if she was awake. He didn’t think Gran would go for it without the okay from his father, which wasn’t going to happen if he wouldn’t pick up his phone.
It was only after he hung up that he realized Dad would know the call came from Emily’s cell phone and that Jared had it. Hopefully, he’d be too distracted by Emily to think anything of it.
Jared sank to the ground until his butt hit it, back still up against the wall. He pressed the icon to bring up Emily’s messages. There were half a dozen unread, but only two he was concerned with. The top one was from her best friend Shara, and said, “Be careful. Text me after.”
That got his full attention. He opened the dialogue to see what had come before that.
Heading out now, Emily had written. Wish me luck.
Heading out where? She’d been found at home. And going to do what? Why had she talked to Shara about it and not him?
He hit the phone icon to dial Shara. He had to know.
“Tell me everything!” she answered. “What did she say? Did she admit it? How did it go?”
Jared’s hands started to shake again. Shara sounded so breathless with anticipation. She was going to be devastated with his
news.
“Shara, I’m sorry, this is Jared,” he said. “Emily’s at the hospital. I need to know—what was she going to do?”
“At the hospital? What happened? Oh my god, is she hurt?”
Crap. He was going to have to tell her. “She … The police think she hurt herself, but I told them she didn’t. That someone must have hurt her. That’s why I need to know—do what? Why did she need luck?”
Shara was silent for a moment, maybe trying to decide whether she was betraying a confidence. “She was going to talk to the lady your father was having the affair with. She thought she could provide an alibi or something.”
How on Earth had that turned into … this? Had it gone badly? Had Carla told her something she couldn’t face? But no, there was that weird letter. Even if Emily could have hurt herself, she’d never have hurt Mom. She was being framed.
“Would you tell that to the police if they ask?”
“Of course, but … Jared, what’s going on?” She sounded scared. He knew the feeling.
“I don’t know yet. But I’m going to find out.”
“Are you sure that’s safe? If something happened to Emily …”
“That’s why I have to find out.”
He hung up and immediately scrolled to the next message. From Aaliyah’s own number. She must have her phone back. It was a sign of how worried he was about Emily that he’d called Shara before checking it.
Jared, I hope you got my message through Maybell earlier this week about how devastated I was to hear about your mother. But that’s not enough. I’m sorry I let my parents come between us. I was so mad at you at first.
But now I understand and I hate that I haven’t been there for you. I hope you can forgive me. I know I probably screwed everything up, but I wanted you to know I’m here now if you need me. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.
A laugh-sob burst out of him. Now? He’d desperately hoped Aaliyah would come around, but now, when all he could think of was Emily and saving her? Everything was so messed up.
He wasn’t ready to answer yet. He didn’t know what to say. Not after all this time. He’d done wrong, but so had she. She’d abandoned him when he needed her. He understood it, but it didn’t make it any easier. Maybe at some point they could move past it, but he was living in a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. His options were to bring Aaliyah into that nightmare or keep her out. With what was happening to the women in his life, the kindest thing he could do was let her go.
He put the phone back in his pocket and made himself get up. Go back inside. He’d done everything he could for now. Except maybe turn the phone over. Would Shara’s information convince the police that Emily had a motive to hurt herself or move them on to another suspect?
That struck him. He’d been thinking someone had hurt her, in an abstract kind of way because he just couldn’t imagine it being anyone he knew. But what if Ms. Carla hadn’t liked Emily’s questions? What if she’d decided to frame Emily to protect Dad? Or herself? Was it possible that Carla Meyers had killed his mother to get rid of her rival? But then, what about what he’d heard the night of his mother’s disappearance?
Nothing about any of this seemed right. If the killer was going to hide the body in a public park where it would be found, why leave her car at the train station as though she’d left town? It was as though there were two people, one who wanted Mom’s body to be found and one who wanted to cover up the murder. Mom’s body … he still couldn’t even process that. He knew she was dead, had known deep down even before they pulled her body out of those bushes, but he couldn’t accept it. Maybe if he’d seen her at the morgue. But he was glad he hadn’t. He didn’t want that image haunting him for the rest of his life. It would be bad enough at the funeral after they cleaned her up and tried to make it look like she was just sleeping.
Would she look as pale and lifeless as Emily had when he found her with her wrists slashed? That visual would stay with him forever.
The phone rang before he got inside, and he paused at the corner of the house to answer it. Dad.
“What are you doing with Emily’s phone?” Dad hissed, before he could even say “hello.”
“What the hell?” burst out of him before he could be smart about things. “Emily’s in the hospital, Mom is dead and this is what you want to talk about? I’m worried sick. How is Emily?”
Dad took a breath. Jared could hear it on the other end of the line. He could almost hear him counting down to calm. “Still unconscious,” Dad said finally. “They’ve got her bandaged up and gave her a transfusion, but with the blood loss and meds for the pain, she’s still out of it.”
“What are the police saying?”
“Well for one, they’re wondering what happened to her phone. They didn’t find it when they found her. Or in her backpack, which they’ve taken for evidence.”
“I came across it when I went into her backpack for her insurance card and I stuck it in my pocket and forgot about it.” Until he was in the car with Detective Diaz, who’d asked him about it and would now catch him in a lie. Would he wonder what else Jared had lied about? How much trouble was he in?
“I’ll give it up as soon as someone comes for it. What’s going to happen with Emily? Can I see her?”
“No one can right now. They’ve got her under observation, and once she’s awake … She’s going to need counseling. They’ve got her under at least a seventy-two hour-hold.”
“What? She didn’t do this!”
“Jared, they found signs of cutting. Did you know about that?”
Jared had already been caught in one lie. If the police tested the blood on the bag he’d dropped in the Meyers’ garbage, they’d know it was Emily’s. He’d told them as much. They’d put two and two together.
“I only just found out,” he said.
“And you didn’t tell me.” Every word fell like a gavel.
“I was trying to protect her.”
“Well, how did you do? Your sister is in the hospital fighting for her life.”
If his father had plunged a knife into his chest it couldn’t have hurt any worse. He fell back a step as though he’d done that very thing. Only the wall was holding him up. The shock, the pain, lasted only a second until his anger overwhelmed it. He bucked himself off the wall and stood at the corner of Gran’s house ready to square off with his father on the other end of the phone.
“Yeah, because this is all my fault. The cutting couldn’t have started with you and Mom fighting or you throwing Mom around. Emily being in the hospital doesn’t have anything at all to do with you not knowing what’s going on with your own daughter.”
Dad growled. “You little shit.”
“I want to live with Aunt Aggie,” Jared said, throwing the last of his caution to the wind. “Me and Emily both, when she’s out of the hospital. It’s not safe for us with you.”
There was silence.
And then, “Emily can decide for herself when she wakes up.”
He didn’t say anything about Jared, and despite the fact that he’d made the decision, it hurt, like Dad had twisted the knife he’d plunged into Jared’s chest and his heart was being cut to shreds.
Jared hung up. He hurt so much he could barely breathe. He hadn’t been thinking. If he went to live with Aunt Aggie, nearly an hour away, how was he going to get to the hospital to visit Emily when she woke up? Because no way was anyone keeping him away. How was he going to see Aaliyah again or get revenge for Mom and Emily? He was still months away from being able to get his drivers’ license, and then he’d need access to a car.
But he couldn’t live with Dad any longer. Even if Dad wasn’t the one to hurt Emily, and he couldn’t have been since he’d been at the station at the time, he’d still set everything in motion with what he’d done. He was still an abuser, and Jared couldn’t live in fear that Dad would turn on him and Emily. He’d failed to protect Emily once. It wasn’t going to happen again. He’d give up track. He�
��d give up everything to stay home for her. If only she was okay. He didn’t really know what he believed in, but he sent up a prayer, promising anything in return for Emily’s recovery.
Despite what he’d said to Dad, his next call wasn’t to Aunt Aggie. He wanted to live with her, but he couldn’t leave town yet. He had unfinished business. And he wasn’t giving up Emily’s phone just yet. Right now it was his lifeline. The police could come for it, but they’d have to find him first. He went into the settings and turned off the phone’s GPS. Then he made a call and went back into the house only long enough to let Gran know he was leaving. He wasn’t going to worry her the way he’d worried about Mom, even if it killed his head start.
Twenty-Six
Emily
Emily floated up to the surface. Everything was floaty. Dreamy. There was pain there somewhere, but it was a distant thing. Far far away in a galaxy long ago … or something like that.
But there was a thing. Something she had to remember. Something she had to tell Jared. Or somebody. It was Jared, right? Her brother? Thoughts were like clouds that skidded away as she tried to touch them. Only clouds didn’t skid.
They … something.
She floated, head filled with nothing but a vision of clouds floating like she was. Not skidding … drifting, that was it.
Sometime later she surfaced again. There was something urgent. Something she had to tell Jared. If only she could remember.
She tried to lift her hand to her head, as though it would help her remember, but she couldn’t move it. Not one or the other. Her hands were so heavy. Or were they bound? Either way, they wouldn’t move. She couldn’t reach out for the thought, bring it closer.
Jared was in danger. If only she could remember.
The thought skidded away like a cloud.
Only, clouds don’t skid, she told herself as she went under again.
He left to meet Aaliyah. Despite the earlier resolution to keep her away for her own protection, he needed an ally. He’d just have to be strategic about it, keep her safe. More than that, if he was honest. He couldn’t bear to leave town without seeing her.
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