by Lauren Wood
“Are you going to tell me what is going on Deirdre?”
“What do you mean?”
I pulled my earrings off and still wouldn’t look at him. I was just so mad and humiliated and hurt. It was far too many emotions running through me right now.
“I mean I went to the bathroom and I came back to everything had changed. What changed while I was gone?”
I tried to pretend like I didn’t know what he meant.
“I just noticed that there were a lot of women there checking you out, like they knew you rather well.”
He was quiet for a moment and I was thankful that he didn’t try to tell me that I was just being crazy. I don’t know if I would have been able to handle that sort of deceit.
“I have dated many women that were in that room tonight, though dated is a loose word.”
“How many?”
“What?”
“How many of the women in that room had you ‘dated’.”
“With air quotes?”
“Yep.”
He shook his head and I could tell that it was something he didn’t want to talk about. I didn’t care though. We were going to talk about it and that was that.
“Quite a few Deirdre. I didn’t think that I was going to have to explain this to my wife one day. Do an internet search if you want to know. I have dated many women, but I never wanted to marry any of them.”
“We’re not really married Danny.”
“Yes, we are. In almost every way.”
“Not in every way Danny.”
“Soon Deirdre. I’m a patient man.”
The way he smiled had me looking away quickly. He had to know what he did to me. He had to. I was trying to be mad at him, but it was almost impossible when he looked at me with those eyes of his. I was lost and sinking, all at the same time, with no help in sight.
Danny
When we got back to the house, she was quiet. She didn't say much on the way home, which was rather unlike my usually chatty wife. I wanted to ask her about it, but I had a feeling that it was better not to. I didn't want to tell her about my past life before her, but I knew that it was going to come out eventually. How could it not? I had to dated half of the city, or at least the ones that were beautiful. I didn’t have much discretion and I certainly didn't think that I would ever be married, so I never thought I would have to explain myself. I never liked to have to do such a thing.
Deirdre went to the bathroom as soon as we got home and locked the door. I heard the shower starting and I wanted to follow her in there. While she was thinking about my past discretions, all I could think about was how she looked in that damn dress. Not just that dress, but the little show she had done for me while she was trying the dresses on. My mind was on the same thing that it had been on since we got married. New reminders that there was still a part of our marriage that wasn't consummated bothered me. I really wanted tonight to be the night.
She got out of the shower and came to bed. I was already waiting for her. I wasn't tired, not in the least bit, but I wanted to put ideas on the table.
“You're going to bed already?”
She still had a towel wrapped around her and I agreed that I was. I watched her dry her off and even though I knew it was hard for her to be around me like this, I didn't plan to go anywhere. This was what I wanted, and it was time for her to see that this was how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to be together. I was sure of that.
She turned to me and let go of her towel. She dropped it on the floor in front of the bed and then smiled at me in the wicked way that she had. I knew that she was just messing with my head. My balls had been blue for weeks now and there wasn't much hope that it was going to get any better.
“Now you're sleeping in the nude?”
“You seem to find it relaxing, so I thought I'd give it a try. It feels weird, but the sheets feel amazing on my legs.”
The sheets were a soft satin and I could see everything that was underneath them. All it did was wrapped her body up like it was a present that I wanted to open immediately. I hated the fact that the bed was so big, because now she was so far away. Too far away for my liking him. I imagine then that I would be buying a new mattress soon enough. One that was a little more restricting and would bring my wife closer to me.
“You look amazing. You always do.”
“I think you're just saying that because you turned on Danny.”
I didn't have to look down to see that I was hard and ready for her. I was pretty much always in a state of readiness when it came to Deirdre. She just did something to me.
“So, I heard the conversation between you and that brunette at the benefit tonight. What was her name, Elaine? Did you get what you were looking for?”
“What?”
It took me a minute for her words to actually hit me and I shook my head. “Got what I needed? What are you talking about?”
I was going to the restroom and I heard the two of you talking. She was one of the women that you were with before, right?”
“Yes, we were together a long time ago. And I wouldn't even say together. I had relations with her on several occasions.”
“So, what happened?”
“What do you mean, what happened?”
“I mean you said you guys were together and then you weren’t. So what happened? Did you guys break up or what?”
“We never really even dated. We just saw each other for little bit and then I got bored. I told you before that I never thought about marriage or anything close to it. You are the only woman that I ever would have done this for. You are the one that I want. Not Elaine.”
It didn't seem to settle her nerves all that well. Deirdre looked like she was deep in thought.
“She was very pretty.”
I wasn't going to agree or disagree because it seemed like a trap. She was not acting like herself and I wanted to tell her that it wasn't like it seemed at all. Nothing that I had with any other woman was compared to what I had with her. It was just a simple. I didn't understand it and I don't know what the difference was, I just knew that things felt different with her.
“You are the only one that I can see you tonight Deirdre. One day you’ll understand that.”
As we had been talking, she was slowly pulling the sheets down more and more nonchalantly. I don't know what she was doing, but she was showing too much at this point. I couldn't take my eyes off of her and her slim thighs started to move apart, so that I could see even more of her. Mainly I was most interested in the part of her that I was trying to get into. I could see now that she was as ready for me as I was her, the light reflecting off of moisture gathered there.
“What do you see now Danny?”
“I see a woman that is severely fucking with my head.”
Deirdre snickered and tried to play the innocent card, but we both knew that she was way off. I had no idea what was going on in her mind, but I wanted it to end well. Her legs opening and closed in front of me, and then the hand that slid in between them was the last straw.
I started to move towards her and she stopped me.
“No Danny. You told me before that you just wanted to watch.”
“That was said as a last resort. I think you will remember that I am much more adept at participating. I’m your husband and you should let me help you.”
She shook her head and told me no. I didn’t like that answer one bit. Never had. I always got what I wanted.
“Why do you tease us both? I know you’re just as ready as I am. Why not give us both what we want?”
“I don’t want to feel everything for you.”
I didn’t know what that meant, but it didn’t matter now. Her eyes were closed, and she made a small whimpering sound as she played faster with herself. I had to watch her please herself, taking longer than it had to. All I would have had to do was lick her once or twice and I could have thrown her over so much sooner and longer.
When she finally came, I growled
at her and her eyes opened.
“Thank you, Danny. It was hot to know that you were watching me. I haven’t been able to get off in a while.”
She crawled over to me and gave me a peck on the lips. When she started to move back, I stopped her with my hand on her arm.
“After that, can you at least just lay with me? We are going to end up that way anyways.”
It all seemed innocent, but she knew better. She knew what I wanted and she agreed, most likely because she felt guilty about the blue balls I was going to have all night.
“Fine Danny, but nothing more than sleep.”
Deirdre
Nothing more than sleep. That is what I had told him and now I was regretting it more than any other words that I'd spoken out of my mouth before. I don't know why I was making myself crazy. I don't know who I was trying to prove all this too, but it was driving me mad. I wanted to be with him. He was right there. His arms were around me and if I move back just a little bit, I could feel the part of him that I was craving the most. So, what was holding me back?
Going out to dinner with him tonight had been an eye-opening experience. I mean, I kind of knew that he was a playboy. It was kind of hard not to see that happening because of how he looked. He was gorgeous, and he had a lot of money. It would have made less sense for him to have not been that way. I don't know why, but I was rather surprised to find out that he had dated so many women. Well it wasn't even dating, he’d been clear about that as well.
The women that were at the benefit were beautiful. They were the type of women that he should be with. Not me. I was still confused about what he was even here for. He said he was here for me, but that didn't make sense. Why would a man like Danny do this? Maybe it was just one of those things that is eccentric wealthy people did. They were able to do all kinds of crazy things and people never called them out on it. Instead, they just called them a nicer term like driven and looked the other way.
The longer I sat there, laying there in his arms, the harder it was to ignore the tension in the room. I wanted to believe that I could keep this platonic, but it was getting harder and harder. I wasn’t making it any easier on myself trying to mess with him, because in the end, I was the one that was in a right state as well.
“You're going to have to stop squirming around Deedra, we’re not going to get any sleep this way.”
I start moving and I tried to stay still, but it was really hard to. I wanted to move around and more than that, I wanted him to feel me as I was feeling him.
Finally, I was able to push everything out of my mind and forget about what was going on between the two of us. I had to, if not, I was going to drive myself crazy. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was a part of me that knew how this was all going to end. I could prolong it as much as I wanted to, but it was going to happen sooner or later. We were only a couple of weeks into the marriage and if I was going to go through with this, like I told myself I was going to, we still had quite a bit of time ahead of us. And that's to say if he didn't back out. He could back out anytime and there was nothing I could do about it. It's not like he was too worried about the end prize like I was.
The next morning, it was a little tense between us and I was sure that it was because of last night. I really needed to stop messing with him so much. It just made it even more complicated.
There was coffee and breakfast already on the table and since it was Sunday, neither one of us had to go to work. Most of the time this was the part of the week that I could catch up on anything that needed to be done and then to do something creative. I hadn't been going back to the house much, but I wanted to today.
“So, what are your plans for the day Deirdre?”
“I was thinking that I would go back to the apartment and get some painting done. There is one large piece that I actually have already sold. I need to finish it up and get it packed and ready to go. The frame is the only thing left that I have to do.”
“You sell your art?”
“Of course, I do.”
“But let me guess, you don't put your name on it.”
“Exactly.”
He just shook his head. “You really should put your name on all these things that you create. One day they're going to be worth a lot of money.”
“Well I don't know about that, but right now it's worth a grand and that's enough to for me.”
“You know that you don't have to work anymore. You don't have to bring money in or anything like that baby. I know that you are an independent woman, but there is no need for it. We can start a family and you'll be home anyways, so if you want to cut your career short now, you can.”
It came out of left field and I had to shake my head, because I seriously couldn't believe it what he just said. We can start a family?
“I like painting and I like cooking and I like writing. I will keep doing this whether I need the money or not. And I certainly am not thinking about starting a family right now. Once this year is up and I got the payout, well half, then I am going to have my restaurant. That is not the smartest thing to do if you're about to have a baby.”
“Of course. Of course. That is why we have nannies though, isn't it?”
One minute we were starting a family, and the next minute, I was hiring a nanny. It was already bad enough that we had somebody cooking our food and cleaning up after us. I couldn’t imagine someone to do the mothering as well. I felt like I was outsourcing everything.
And how the hell did we get to the talk of having a family and kids? How had that happened? I am so confused. We weren’t even having sex, and this was for a gameshow. Danny acted like we were in this for real and that there was nothing strange about how we came together. Sometimes I really wondered if he knew what was going on, or was he just so used to having everything that he wanted, that no didn’t even register?
We talked for a bit about a subject that I hadn’t even thought about in my own mind for a while. I raced through breakfast because it was an uncomfortable topic for me. When I told him that I was going to go get dressed and that I would see him later, he wanted to know if he could come along.
My knee-jerk reaction was to tell him no. I wanted some time alone with my thoughts and it was hard to do that when he was there. But I had no real excuse and he wanted to go, so I just agreed. “But we’re driving there like normal people, by ourselves. Give your driver the day off.”
“You are so weird sometimes, but whatever makes you happy.”
It was strange to have everything done for us. I had felt that way since coming to live with my husband. I wanted to get back to my place where things were a little messy in some spots and I didn’t have to use a coaster. I wanted my coffee mug with the chip on the side that I always thought of as a little dangerous. I wanted to relax, and it was hard to do that when everything around me was worth its weight in gold. That was a hard environment to relax in.
I went upstairs, and he was right behind me. While I’d tried to talk him into at least letting me have a room of my own and then sharing a bed at night, he had balked at the request. While Danny said that he wanted it to be as legitimate as it could be, I knew that there were other reasons for it. I didn’t quite know what they were, but I had a feeling it was just to keep me close.
It was easy to get sidetracked after we got up there, because Danny was getting undressed and then dressed for the day. I was standing there, frozen in place while I watched his naked body come into view and then get covered up again. He looked damn good in his clothes that were made for him, but there was nothing at all to combat the view of him without them on.
“Are you going to get dressed or not?”
His words pulled me out of my thoughts and I was able to get a move on. The things that he did to me didn’t make sense. I was falling for him, even without letting him touch me. How was I going to go another forty-nine weeks with Danny, feeling this way? I was never going to get out of this in one piece. It already felt like I was mis
sing a part of me when he wasn’t around. It was only going to get worse. I was sure of it.
“Yeah, just give me a minute.”
“Take your time Deirdre. I always like to watch.”
I could already feel the heat from his stare, but fair was fair, right?
Danny
Deirdre was a whole other person when she was at her apartment. I could tell that she was far more relaxed, and it made me realize that she needed her own space when we got back to the house. I may have let my driver off for the day, per her request, but my assistant was still on call and I made a few phone calls when she went into the back of the apartment to get some packing supplies.
“Who were you talking to?”
“Just needed to check on something for work. All done now though.”
She had given me a dirty look because she made it clear that Sunday was a no-work day. Deirdre always started the conversation with, “If I was your real wife…” If I heard those words, I knew that it was going to be something that she didn’t care for. Me working all of the time, warranted those types of conversations, more than anything else did.
“You said no work, remember?”
“I know. So, what can I help with?”
“You can help me frame it. It’s in the bedroom. Then we got to pack it for shipping on Monday. They are going to come pick it up for me.”
I agreed, even though it seemed like a lot of effort for a thousand bucks. I didn’t know much about art, but I knew that she could sell them for so much more if she had the right clientele.
I followed her into the bedroom and it was the first time that I saw the painting that she was going to sell. I now knew why it wasn’t in the front rooms. It was a full nude of a dark-haired woman laying on her side. She had a seductive pose and it was almost life-size.
