by Fields, MJ
No matter how many miles I put between myself and home, I’m still running. I am so tired. I’m not even sure who I am anymore. Am I Brie, or am I still Gabby? Because, right now, I see Gabby staring back at me. I think I fall somewhere in the middle. A little bit of both of me.
Thirty-Eight
Gabby - Past
Once I have eaten, Cross takes me home. When we arrive, I have to face the equivalent of a firing squad. Papa is beyond angry, Mamma is beside herself, Adriana is furious, and my brothers … well, they actually seem a little sympathetic. Papa pulls Cross aside and into his study first, and then he calls me in.
“Do you have any idea what you have caused?” he roars.
I flinch at his tone. He has never spoken to me like this before.
“You are not a child anymore, Gabriella.”
“I know that.”
“Do you? Because you are acting like a brat.”
I hang my head and take a deep breath. “I’m sorry I scared everyone. I just needed a break. I haven’t felt well, and I am tired of being imprisoned and ignored.”
“We have kept you here for your safety. We have ignored you because there are bigger things to attend to than your hurt feelings,” he shouts.
I look up at him and demand, “Then, tell me what those things are. You cannot treat me like a child and then scold me for acting like one. I’m tired of being kept in the dark.”
Papa cuts his eyes to Cross and then nods once. “Christoff is assuming the role of acting head of the Scutari family. We have been working to help transition power from Marcello to him. It’s a dangerous business because there are enemies who don’t want to see him take control. He has the backing of the other families in this, but many feel that his relationship with you is a liability.”
“What? Why? Because I took one day for myself?”
“No, because you were not groomed for such a life. You are immature and reckless, which you proved today. Adriana told her father, who told everyone, that you despise the business and that you told her you would never be your mother and be a compliant family wife.”
“Why? Why would she say that?”
“Because it’s true,” Cross finally speaks. “You don’t want this. You never wanted it.”
“Neither did you.”
“No, I didn’t, but I have no choice now.”
“Yes, you do. You always have a choice. We can leave. You and I, we can leave together and go somewhere and start over,” I plead.
“I can’t, Gabby. There is no one else, and I can’t run like a coward.”
“You can. Atelo ran.”
“Exactly, and I can’t leave my father and grandparents here to face this alone. If I assume power now, I can protect them.”
“Okay.” I turn to Papa and repeat, “Okay, so we stay.”
It is not the life I wanted, but I will make it work.
“You do not understand, Gabriella. There is no we anymore.”
“What do you mean?” I turn my eyes back to Cross. “What does he mean?”
“It’s over, Tesoro.”
“What’s over?”
I know the word that he is going to say before it hits the air.
“Us.”
Pain … blinding pain rips through me.
“No. Why?”
He takes a few steps forward, and I start retreating.
“It is what’s best now.”
At that, I charge at him. My fists pound into his chest. “What’s best? You-you love me. You said you loved me!”
He takes my blows and does not move.
“Why would you let them do this? How can you let them decide? We were going to build a house. We were going to have ten babies. We were going to be a family. Say it. Say you love me.” I stop hitting him and look up at his face. “Say it, please.”
“Enough,” Papa interrupts. “You will stay here until it is safe. Then, you will return to the city with Adriana, and you will finish school like you planned. You will get over this.”
“I won’t. I won’t go anywhere with her.”
“You will. You must appear to be moving on. Like the relationship with Christoff was a summer fling. You need to quickly move on with your normal life, resume dating. Marcello’s enemies need to see you looking like—”
“Nothing. Like I don’t matter. I am nothing,” I finish his sentence.
I look to Cross, and he is stoic. His face is blank, and his eyes have shut down. He just stands there, silent.
I stare at him for a long moment. Then, my stomach starts rolling, and I lose my lunch. Right there in the study, I’m retching, and Papa calls for Mamma. She comes running in, and Cross bends down and begins rubbing my back. I jerk away from him.
“Do not touch me. You don’t get to touch me ever again,” I sob. “You promised. You promised me. You are a coward.”
He pulls his hand and backs up. I look around the room at everyone. Papa, Mamma, Adriana, Cross, and my brothers. I hate them. Every one of them. I stand, and once I have my balance, I flee, Mamma calling behind me. I make it to my room and slam the door shut. I lock it and then fall on my bed. A puddle of grief. This can’t be happening again.
* * *
I have spent the last week confined to my room, refusing to talk to anyone, except Nonna, and making exactly two phone calls. One to Cross. I need to have one last conversation with him. I left him a message and told him he had one more chance to choose us, and he needed to call me today. He didn’t. Now, it’s time to put my plan in motion. I refuse to stay here and be a pawn any longer. One that Papa and Cross can move around the chess board as they see fit. Move here. Do this. Stay there. No more.
I look at the clock, and it says two a.m. I slip from bed and toss a few necessities into my backpack. I grab my jacket. I leave my cell phone on the nightstand. Then, I creep downstairs on silent feet and head to the alarm panel and disarm it. I take one last look around the kitchen. A place where I watched my mamma cook and where my nonna taught me how to make pasta from scratch. I look at the big dining room table where we sat and ate as a family, and I picture my brothers, loud and happy around it. I say a silent goodbye to the people I love most in the world and my childhood home. Then, I slip out the back door.
I make my way down the drive and a few blocks over to the car waiting at the Stop sign. The back door opens, and Una steps out. I called her two nights ago to ask for her help. She was the only one I could trust. She has lost her daughter and, now, two of her grandsons, and I knew she would understand. At least, I prayed she would.
“Do you have your passport?” she asks.
I nod as I get in the back seat with her.
“Good. I have made all the arrangements.” She pats my hand. “I opened an account for you and deposited plenty of cash. It should last you a while. Here is the information.” She hands me a large envelope. “There is a new cell phone in there. It’s a burner phone, and it is to be used for emergencies only. Do you understand?”
“Yes, ma’am. Emergencies only.”
“Do you have the letters?”
I pass her several letters that I wrote, stating that I was alive and well and having the time of my life. Another letter was left in my room, explaining that I had decided to spend the year abroad with friends I’d met in Paris because I wanted to backpack through Europe and clear my head.
“I will have friends mail them from Scotland and France and Spain, one a month for the next few months.”
“Thank you, Una.”
“Everything is going to be okay, Gabriella. You are doing the right thing. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but your heart will heal eventually.”
I want to believe her, but she is wrong. My heart will never recover from this betrayal, and I don’t want it to. I want to feel this pain forever, so I know to guard my heart better.
Thirty-Nine
Brie - Present
Nicco confronted Jake. He found out that Dante had approached him before we met and sa
id that he was a friend of my father, who was a very wealthy businessman in New York. He told him I had run off to California and that I was a naïve and rebellious girl whom he was extremely worried about. He offered Jake a considerable amount of money to get insider information about me. He knew his Jake’s dad was the club’s president, and he thought it would be easy for Jake to befriend me and report back to him. So, Jake did just that. He thought he was actually helping a father keep an eye out for his daughter, and, not like he needed the money, but he was making some cash on the side. No harm, no foul.
I am devastated. Even though he stopped giving Dante any substantial information months ago, he never told me. His entire pursuit of me had been an act. He got close to me on purpose to spy on me for Dante. A man who had been stalking me for years. A man who’d drugged and tried to rape me. His obsession has somehow followed me all the way to California.
For weeks, Jake has tried to see me or talk to me. I have shut him down at every turn. Daniel asked me to hear him out because he believes he really is in love with me and that he was just tricked by Dante before he knew me. That might be the case, but he has had all the time in the world to confess it all to me, and he didn’t. My safety was in jeopardy, and I had no idea. Even Dawn and Kelsey, Melanie and Rick and the baby, anyone I was growing close to could have been a target. If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that love can hurt people. My love can hurt people.
“Are you sure you don’t want to at least hear him out?” Melanie asks.
“I’m sure.”
“I hate to see you shut down like this. You were just starting to open up and live again.”
“I should have known better.”
“Do you think he was still feeding this Dante character info?”
“No, but that’s not the point. He lied to me. He got close to me with an agenda, and I did not see it. I let his charm and his good looks weasel his way in. Maybe he eventually did fall for me, but none of the beginning was genuine. I just can’t, Mel. I just can’t.”
“I get it. He really messed up.”
“No, I did. I really messed up, and I know better.”
She looks at me with sadness in her eyes. I know she wanted this second chance for me.
“Where is this Dante person now?”
“I don’t know. Nicco can’t find him. He had the number Jake was given traced, and it led to an apartment in Los Angeles that belongs to Dante’s father’s business, but it is empty.”
“That’s disturbing.”
“Everything about Dante Calvacanti is disturbing.”
“What are you gonna do now?”
“I’m going to go home and get ready for Dawn’s graduation and after-party.”
“That sounds like a great plan.”
“You guys are coming, right?”
“We will be there. We have Rick’s mom coming to stay the night, so we can actually hang out with the grown-ups past midnight.”
* * *
Graduation was boring and lasted forever. The speeches dragged on and on and on. I swear, if it hadn’t ended when it did, Kelsey and I were going to end up making a break for it, but alas, we stayed till the bitter end because we are awesome friends and also because Daniel was our ride, and he refused to leave.
After standing around while Dawn’s mom took a zillion photographs, we are finally on our way home to get ready for the big shindig. We plan to party the night away, and then, tomorrow morning, Dawn and Daniel are off on a three-week graduation trip to Monaco, all paid for by the proud parents. She is so lucky. I would love to have three weeks to lie on a beach in Monte Carlo and shop and eat and explore. However, I still have one last year and a lot of money to save before I can travel. California beaches will have to do for now. Not that they are anything to sneeze at. Home is pretty spectacular.
“Come on, guys; let’s go,” Dawn urges.
She is dressed in a stunning gold cocktail dress, and she has her hair pulled into a low chignon on the side of her head. She is wearing a glittery tiara. She looks every bit the California princess. Kelsey’s dress is black with hot-pink polka dots on the skirt, which sounds awful, but on Kelsey, it is gorgeous and fits her personality to a T.
She picked out a bronze cocktail dress for me with black lace inlay. She said the color looked amazing against my olive skin. It has a low neckline and a short skirt to show off my long, tan legs. I’m wearing my hair down in a beach wave, and I’ve kept my makeup simple with a few extra coats of mascara and a nude lip stain. I stand in front of the mirror, and I think Jake would have loved this dress. When I carried it in after our trip to Beverly Hills to shop for dresses, he begged me to try it on for him, but I wouldn’t. I told him he was just gonna have to wait to see the final result tonight.
“Coming,” I yell as I take one last look at myself and grab my clutch.
When we arrive, the band is already playing, but they stop and then start playing “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield as Dawn twirls and blows kisses at the crowd. Everyone is clapping, and she is soaking up all the love and attention.
Kelsey and I head inside to grab a plate. Our favorite steak and seafood restaurant, Larsen’s, catered, and we have been anticipating the food all day.
The food is amazing, and the drinks are amazing. We are all on the dance floor, having a great time, when I spot Jake entering the ballroom. Wonderful. He stands on the side of the dance floor, watching us. Nicco pulls in close to offer me support if I need it, but I don’t.
“I am good,” I tell him. “I guess it’s time to hear him out.”
I march off the floor toward Jake. Maybe Melanie is right, and he deserves the chance to explain.
“What are you doing here?”
“Well, I was invited,” he slurs.
Great, I can smell the overwhelming aroma of whiskey on his breath. This should go well.
“Jake, I know we have to have a conversation, but I don’t think now is the time.”
He looks around the room, and his eyes come back to me. “I’m sorry, Brie. I am so damn sorry.”
“I know, and I believe you. I’m just not ready to forgive you.”
He nods as if he understands. “I deserve that.”
“I don’t know if you deserve it. I’m just very mixed up right now. I need time.”
“I can give you that. You know where to find me when you are ready to talk. If you are ever ready to talk.”
A redhead in a risqué blue mermaid dress slinks up beside him. Carlie. Unbelievable.
“Did you bring her here?”
“She just gave me a ride. I was at the club, drinking and trying to decide whether or not to come tonight. She offered to bring me because I couldn’t drive myself.”
“Really?” I hiss. “You have got to be kidding.”
“What? I needed an ally, walking into the lion’s den.”
“You are a jackass.”
“No, I’m not. There is nothing going on here.”
“You know what?” I look at Carlie. “Enjoy yourself.”
“Oh, I intend to.”
I stomp off the dance floor.
I’m so sick of meaning so little to people who mean the world to me. I am so easily discarded or replaced. I want someone who is willing to fight for me as much as I’m willing to fight for them. I want someone who thinks I’m worth the fight.
“Did that asshole bring a date?” Dawn asks as she charges toward Jake and Carlie. “Oh, hell no.”
I catch her arm and pull her back. “Don’t. It’s not worth ruining your dress or your party over.”
“I disagree. I think, if you let me punch her just one time, it will bring this party up a notch.”
“He is drunk. Nothing you say is going to make a difference right now.”
I look over, and Carlie is wrapped around his arm. His eyes are still on me. Such a jackass.
“I don’t want him to ruin your night either. It’s supposed to be a celebration for all of us.”
“He won’t ruin anything. He came here, hoping to get my attention, but we aren’t in high school anymore. I am done.”
“In that case, let’s dance.”
She grabs me and Kelsey and pulls us up on the stage into the spotlight. Then, she yells for the DJ to play Cee Lo Green’s “Fuck You.” The three of us dance like no one is watching as we sing the lyrics at the top of our lungs. We end up holding on to each other, laughing our asses off as the room erupts in applause. We take a slow bow, and I scan the crowd, hoping Jake and Carlie have left and, at the same time, hoping that they haven’t, when my eyes fall on a tall shadow watching from the corner.
A shadow in a three-piece suit. A shadow and a pair of piercing green eyes that I would know anywhere.
Oh my God. I stand there, frozen to the spot. What is he doing here?
Nicco is standing in front of the stage, looking up at us, and his eyes fall on me.
“Brie, what’s wrong?” He turns his head and starts looking in the same direction.
Cross.
Epilogue
Cross — One Week Earlier
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
I cannot believe what I’m hearing. He must have a death wish. When I tell Tony that Dante has followed Gabby to California, he will kill him himself, and it will be a slow and painful execution.
“No. She came running out of the building, completely freaked out. She looked right through us. I started calling her name and chasing her. When I grabbed her, she lost it. It was like she had seen a ghost.”
“Where is he now?”
“I don’t know. By the time I got it out of her and ran in to find him, he was gone. I followed a few leads I could gather, and everything was a dead end.”
“What about Mason?”
“He said Calvacanti approached him when Gabby started working at the club. He introduced himself as Lucas. He knew Jake’s father was the president, so he assumed he could get access to private information. He lied to him and told him that he was a friend of her parents and that they were worried about their young daughter who was so far away from home.”
