Charlie closed the front door and they met at the kitchen. “Are you sure about this, Suzanne? You want to leave him alone out there?”
“What is he going to do?” she asked with a shrug. “He certainly can’t take Matty to Ingrid’s. The woman couldn’t even take care of a kitten when she was a teenager. He is the father. I’ll let him have a few minutes with Matty.”
She sat back at the kitchen table, yet didn’t touch her food. Instead, she picked up her cup of tea and sipped. “No matter what he says or does, Charlie, don’t listen to him.”
He lightly touched her arm. “Suzanne, I’m not worried about him. I’m worried about you.”
She could feel it happening again—that tightness in her throat, the burning at her eyes.
“Your nose is getting red,” he said with a teasing grin.
“I told you not to be nice to me, or it will start again. And I need to stay in control. Finish your lunch.”
“Finish yours.”
“I can’t eat right now.”
Charlie picked up his cup of tea and sat back in his chair. “Then we’ll both wait until he leaves.”
They sat in silence for at least a minute, until Suzanne couldn’t stand it anymore. “I’d better get back out there. He’s had enough time.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, you stay here, okay?”
“If you need me…”
“Thanks, Charlie, but I’ll be fine,” she said as she left the room.
She walked into the living room and inhaled deeply as she saw Kevin holding their son in his arms. “He needs to sleep,” she said, coming farther into the room. That too was another fabrication, but she wanted Kevin out of the house. Just his presence was throwing off everything, especially her hard-won peace of mind. “I’ll take him now,” she stated, holding out her arms.
Kevin gently transferred Matty and whispered, “He’s perfect, isn’t he?”
“Yes, he is,” she answered, kissing her son’s forehead before placing him in the bassinet. When she straightened, she rubbed the small of her back and looked at her husband. In less than a day he seemed like a stranger. The man she had loved and dreamed of a future with was gone. In his place was this… this person whose genes made up half of her son’s, but she couldn’t even dredge up an ounce of love, and every dream they’d once shared had been crushed yesterday.
“We need to talk, Suzanne,” he stated, running a hand through his sandy brown hair.
“Really, Kevin?” she replied, walking away from their sleeping son and toward the door. “I think you said enough yesterday, don’t you?”
“I have some rights here,” he answered, his voice rising slightly. “Why didn’t you call me to tell me you were having the baby? It’s early. Something could have been wrong, and I wouldn’t have known. I’m left out of the loop? I am still the father.”
It was enough to raise the hair on the back of her neck in retaliation. “You have whatever rights I give you. May I remind you that you walked out of here yesterday—”
“You told me to leave,” he interrupted.
“Ah, yes, after you told me that you were in love with my best friend and had been sleeping with her during our marriage and that you wanted a divorce to marry her. I got all that right, didn’t I? Of course, I was too shaken at the time to figure it all out. You were sleeping with both of us at the same time. That’s adultery, Kevin, grounds for divorce in this state.” She was at the front door and opened it for him before continuing. “I went into labor yesterday after you left and calling you wasn’t even a consideration since I didn’t have my cell phone with me. I needed help, not more betrayal.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I will contact a lawyer and we can arrange for visitation, but until then please do not come here unannounced again.”
“This is my home, my family’s home. That is my son.” His gaze narrowed. “Don’t make this ugly.”
She almost burst into laughter. “Ugly? Ugly? You’ve already done that, Kevin. It’s hideously ugly. My husband and my best friend? We should all go on Jerry Springer.”
“That’d be something,” he retaliated sarcastically. “Bring along your new friend. Who is that guy, anyway? Where did you find him?”
“I’ve already told you I hired him, for help and for protection.”
“Protection?”
“Yes. You may have felt just fine about leaving me here alone, but I felt otherwise. He’s here for me.”
“You don’t even know him, do you?”
“I know he is honorable and trustworthy, which is more than I can say for you and Ingrid—and I thought I knew both of you. What more do I need to know?”
“Is he wearing my clothes?”
She did laugh. With everything they had to discuss, he was more concerned with his damned clothes! “Yes, Kevin, he is. I let him borrow them. Don’t worry, they’ll be cleaned and returned to you. His were soiled and the rest of his things aren’t arriving until later in the week. Now, I’ve had quite a time of it in the last twenty-four hours. I suggest you leave, and don’t return until I’ve recovered. I’ll notify you when that is.” At that moment Matty began crying and her breasts started to tingle in response.
“You can’t just leave it like this, Suzanne. I have rights and I don’t feel comfortable with a stranger in my house with my son.”
Suzanne gritted her teeth, in an attempt to suppress the scream that was pushing up from her gut. “Look, you may be Matty’s biological father, but when you betrayed me, you betrayed him too. Didn’t that ever occur to you?” She scowled at him and continued before he could. “As far as I’m concerned, you forfeited your rights, Kevin. Matty and I were one and the same. Just because he’s out of my body now doesn’t mean you can waltz in here whenever you want and disrupt our lives.” She took another deep breath. “I’ll have all your precious clothes packed and sent over to Ingrid’s by the end of the week. That should make you feel better. As far as our son is concerned, we’ll deal with that in court. And believe me, Kevin, it’s already ugly. You have only yourself to thank for that.”
“Suzanne?”
She and Kevin both turned to see Charlie standing not ten feet away. He was holding Matty to his chest. “I think he’s hungry.”
Suzanne watched as the two men stared at one another, each with a hard, penetrating glare. “It’s time for you to leave, Kevin,” she stated firmly.
“This isn’t over,” Kevin muttered, walking through the door and slamming it behind him.
Matty jerked in Charlie’s arms, throwing his own arms out in fright, and began to cry even louder. Rushing to take him, Suzanne bit her bottom lip to keep her own tears in check. All she wanted was some peace… somewhere.
As she held her son against her chest, she lowered her chin and kissed his temple. “I’m so sorry, Matty,” she whispered. “You won’t ever have to be a part of this again.”
“C’mon, Suzanne, let me take you upstairs. It’s time for you to rest.”
“Yes,” she whispered in exhaustion and defeat. “It’s time.”
He placed his strong arm around her shoulders and used the other to hold her elbow as all three of them took it a step at a time. She could feel her legs shaking until the tremors started working their way through her entire body. “Take him,” she instructed, putting Matty into Charlie’s arms.
She sank to the stair and held on to the railing for support. “I just need to rest.”
“Stay right there,” Charlie instructed, walking back down the steps with Matty.
When he returned, Matty was in the bassinet and Charlie lifted it over her to take it upstairs.
“Would you put it in my room?” she requested, trying to stop the shaking of her body. Whatever was wrong with her?
He came back and looked down to her with a concerned expression. “That’s it, Suzanne,” he stated in a firm voice. “I’m taking over now. You are getting into bed and staying there, do you understand?”
Her words were interrupted when Charlie reached down and scooped his arm under her knees. “Hold on,” he instructed as he started to lift her.
“I can walk,” she protested, grabbing onto his neck.
“Oh hush up, Suzanne. The last time I did this we almost fell. Work with me here.”
In spite of everything, she almost laughed while remembering the last time he had carried her by the creek. “What a pair we make, Charlie.”
He reached the top step and turned his head while walking into her bedroom. Looking into her eyes, he said, “I think we make a fine pair, Suzie. As long as you start listening to me and get off your feet.”
All she could think about when he gently placed her on her bed was that he’d called her Suzie. It had been years since anyone had used her nickname, and the tears she had been holding back started to stream down her cheeks. He released her and allowed her to rest back against the pillows.
“I’ll get Matty,” he said, and moved to the bassinet.
As she accepted her son, she looked into Charlie’s eyes and whispered, “I think you were sent to me because I needed a friend so much.”
He seemed startled for just a moment and then smiled tenderly. “Don’t worry anymore, all right? I heard what you told him. I am here to help you, and I will protect you. Just rest now. I’ll take care of everything.”
Nodding, she brought Matty to her chest and began unbuttoning her robe.
“I’ll leave you now. Your nose is getting red again. And I know what that means.”
“Chicken,” she whispered with a sniffle and a grin.
He chuckled and walked toward the door. “I’ll be back later to bring you a fresh cup of tea.”
Alone with Matty, Suzanne settled back to nurse her son. What a day, and it wasn’t even half over. Well, at least she’d dealt with Kevin, so that part was finished. She could just imagine him running back to Ingrid to tell her everything. Don’t think about it, she silently advised. Better to think about the way Kevin had been decidedly intimidated by Charlie’s presence. Time traveler or not, he was certainly becoming invaluable to her in ways she couldn’t have even imagined.
Allowing the tears to run, she touched her son’s perfect little nose and whispered, “He called me Suzie.”
She couldn’t be this sappy, this sentimental.
It must be postpartum blues!
6
It was dark when she awakened, and the first thing she heard was a baby’s cry, a plaintive wailing that resonated beyond her ears and into her heart. Somebody should help that child. Turning her head slightly, she was confused for just a moment as everything immediately crashed and fell into place—dragging Charlie out of the water, the delivery, the confrontation with Kevin. It was her baby! What had happened to her peaceful life? Still exhausted, as if in a sleepwalking state, she dragged herself closer to the edge of the bed. Turning on the lamp, she saw Matty in the bassinet and immediately guilt assailed her. He must need to be changed and fed and she had passed out! What kind of a mother was she?
“Okay, honey, I’m coming,” she called out, pulling herself off the mattress and wincing as her sore muscles rebelled at the movement. She did her best to dismiss the aches, for her focus was on reaching her child.
He was tangled in his blanket and she felt even more guilty for not being more attentive. Picking him up, she could feel his soggy diaper and tears came into her eyes. What a lousy parent she was making, she thought as she tried to ignore the sensation of having to relieve herself. She couldn’t use the bathroom holding Matty, and yet she couldn’t put him down when he was screaming and wet. Just as she bit the side of her cheek to stop the frustration building, Charlie came into the room with a tray.
“I heard him crying and thought you would be hungry.”
“Charlie, can you hold him for a minute? I… I need to use the bathroom.” To heck with modesty. She was desperate.
“Sure,” he answered, placing the tray at the foot of the king-size bed.
“He’s wet,” she said, gently handing Matty over. “I’ll change him as soon as I come out.”
Nodding, Charlie cradled the baby to his shoulder and patted his back. “It’s all right, lad,” he whispered, trying to placate the crying infant.
Suzanne rushed into the bathroom and took care of business, feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of a single parent that was now placed solidly upon her shoulders. It was like her life was no longer her own. Everything revolved around the baby, even something so elementary as sitting on the toilet. Rushing as she heard Matty’s continued exasperated screams, she washed her hands and came back into the bedroom.
“There’s no stopping him, Suzanne,” Charlie said, looking worried.
“He’s probably just wet and hungry.” She took the baby and walked into the nursery as Charlie followed. Placing Matty in the crib, she said over the crying that was beginning to make her cry, “Could you get me a diaper from the top drawer?”
Turning her attention to Matty, she began undressing him. “It’s okay, sweetie, we’ll just change you and then I’ll feed you and you’ll feel much better. Please be patient with me.”
She’d thought she had been so prepared. She had even imagined this Hallmark Card kind of homecoming, not bedlam every time Matty was wet or hungry. Frustrated with her inability to soothe her child, Suzanne could feel those damn tears gathering at her eyes as she struggled to remove Matty’s clothing.
“It doesn’t look like he cares for being naked,” Charlie whispered over her shoulder.
“Maybe he’s just cold,” she answered with a sniffle, cleaning her child’s tiny bottom with the disposable wipes. “I guess I have to be faster.”
“Here, why don’t you show me how to do it and then I can change him for you.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “Really? Are you sure?”
He straightened and grinned. “I don’t mind, and I said I was going to be of help to you. This way you won’t have to get out of bed every time he needs to be changed.”
They switched places and Suzanne directed him. “First you clean him with these wipes. You have to be very gentle, especially…” Now how was she supposed to say this? “You, ah… have to pull back the foreskin. The nurse showed me in the hospital.” Inwardly, she cringed at speaking to Charlie like that, but if he was going to help with the changing, he would have to know everything. “That’s right,” she added, relieved to see Charlie was doing just fine, though Matty simply wouldn’t stop crying. Still, her heart seemed to expand toward this man who had appeared in her life and now didn’t flinch at such an awkward situation.
“Hold his legs up with one hand, like this,” she said, reaching down and putting a finger between Matty’s ankles to keep them separate. “Then you slide the diaper under him.”
“Now what?”
“Bring the diaper up in between his legs and—oh my!”
Both she and Charlie automatically backed up, but not before Charlie’s shirt sleeve was christened. Suzanne brought her hand up to her mouth to try and hide the laughter that threatened to explode. “I’m so sorry,” she managed to mumble.
Charlie let out a laugh and shook his head. “The lad’s got good aim, I’ll say that for him.”
They both laughed, even though Matty’s face was deep red with indignation and his tiny fingers were closed into fists as he continued to cry and flail his arms and legs. “I’ll get another diaper,” Suzanne announced. Soon they were again attempting to diaper Matty and Suzanne instructed Charlie to roll the front of the diaper down so the umbilical cord wouldn’t be covered.
“You say it dries up and falls off?”
Again, Suzanne laughed. “Yes. That’s how you got your belly button, Charlie.”
He sighed as he fastened the diaper. “There’s so much I’ve never thought about before, especially about babies.”
“I know what you
mean,” she said with her own sigh. “I thought I was so prepared, but nothing could have prepared me for this. I feel overwhelmed.”
“You’ll be a fine mother, Suzanne.”
She appreciated his words. “Okay, you seem to have everything under control here. I have to change before I feed him. Do you think you could put this gown on him?” She placed a pale yellow one on the crib mattress.
“Now, that seems easy,” Charlie remarked, holding it up for inspection.
Without thinking, Suzanne touched his shoulder. “You’re a good man, Mr. Garrity. Thanks for coming into my life.”
“I didn’t really have a choice, Suzanne,” he said, gifting her with a big smile. “Just glad I can help.”
There was a moment that passed between them, a timeless moment when even Matty’s wails seemed to be drowned out as Suzanne felt a rush of something pleasurable and familiar pass through her body. It was like when she just knew something good was going to happen, that she was in the right place at the right time, with the right person. It was, however, embarrassing for it to be happening now, with leaky breasts and a baby that wouldn’t stop crying. “I’ll be quick,” she answered, and rushed away. It just wouldn’t do to give those thoughts any more room to grow. Charles Garrity was her friend, and she wasn’t going to mess up anything with misplaced feelings.
Grabbing a clean nightgown from her closet and a new nursing bra, she hurried to the bathroom and prayed for the strength to get through this first night with her new son. Maybe she could take a really quick shower? What a blessing that would be, even for a couple of minutes, to feel clean again. Forget shaving her legs. It would have to be a quickie. She actually felt guilty as she turned on the shower and stripped off her nightgown.
Here and Now Page 9
