CHAPTER III
A GIRL WHO COULDN'T STOP BEING A PRINCESS
In the lee of a huge gray bowlder on the summit of Mount Tom satPhilip Lambert and Carlotta Cressy. Below them stretched the widesweep of the river valley, amethyst and topaz and emerald, rich withlush June verdure, soft shadowed, tranquil, in the late afternoonsunshine. They had been silent for a little time but suddenly Carlottabroke the silence.
"Phil, do you know why I brought you up here?" she asked. As she spokeshe drew a little closer to him and her hand touched his as softly as adrifting feather or a blown cherry blossom might have touched it.
He turned to look at her. She was all in white like a lily, and otherwisecarried out the lily tradition of belonging obviously to thenon-toiling-and-spinning species, justifying the arrangement by lookingseraphically lovely in the fruits of the loom and labor of the rest ofthe world. And after all, sheer loveliness is an end in itself. Nobodyexpects a flower to give account of itself and flower-like Carlotta wasvery, very lovely as she leaned against the granite rock with the valleyat her feet. So Phil Lambert's eyes told her eloquently. The valley wasnot the only thing at Carlotta's feet.
"I labored under the impression that I did the bringing up myself," heremarked, his hand closing over hers. "However, the point is immaterial.You are here and I am here. Is there a cosmic reason?"
"There is." Carlotta's voice was dreamy. She watched a cloud shadowcreep over the green-plumed mountain opposite. "I brought you up here sothat you could propose to me suitably and without interruption."
"Huh!" ejaculated Phil inelegantly, utterly taken by surprise byCarlotta's announcement. "Do you mind repeating that? The altitude seemsto have affected my hearing."
"You heard correctly. I said I brought you up here to propose to me."
Phil shrugged.
"Too much 'As You Like It,'" he observed. "These Shakespearean heroinesare a bad lot. May I ask just why you want me to propose to you, my dear?Do you have to collect a certain number of scalps by this particular rareday in June? Or is it that you think you would enjoy the exquisitepleasure of seeing me writhe and wriggle when you refuse me?"
Phil's tone was carefully light, and he smiled as he asked the questions,but there was a tight drawn line about his mouth even as he smiled.
"Through bush, through briar,Through flood, through fire"
he had followed the will o' the wisp, Carlotta, for two years now,against his better judgment and to the undoing of his peace of mind andheart. And play days were over for Phil Lambert. The work-a-day worldawaited him, a world where there would be neither space nor time forchasing phantoms, however lovely and alluring.
"Don't be horrid, Phil. I'm not like that. You know I'm not," deniedCarlotta reproachfully. "I have a surprise for you, Philip, my dear. I amgoing to accept you."
"No!" exclaimed Phil in unfeigned amazement.
"Yes," declared Carlotta firmly. "I decided it in church this morningwhen the man was telling us how fearfully real and earnest life is. Notthat I believe in the real-earnestness. I don't. It's bosh. Life was madeto be happy in and that is why I made up my mind to marry you. You mightmanage to look a little bit pleased. Anybody would think you were aboutto keep an appointment with a dentist, instead of having the inestimableprivilege of proposing to me with the inside information that I am goingto accept you."
Phil drew away his hand from hers. His blue eyes were grave.
"Don't, Carlotta! I am afraid the chap was right about thereal-earnestness. It may be a fine jest to you. It isn't to me. You see Ihappen to be in love with you."
"Of course," murmured Carlotta. "That is quite understood. Did you thinkI would have bothered to drag you clear up on a mountain top to proposeto me if I hadn't known you were in love with me and--I with you?" sheadded softly.
"Carlotta! Do you mean it?" Phil's whole heart was in his honestblue eyes.
"Of course, I mean it. Foolish! Didn't you know? Would I have tormentedyou so all these months if I hadn't cared?"
"But, Carlotta, sweetheart, I can't believe you are in earnest even now.Would you marry me really?"
"_Would_ I? _Will_ I is the verb I brought you up here to use. Mindyour grammar."
Phil clasped his hands behind him for safe keeping.
"But I can't ask you to marry me--at least not to-day."
Carlotta made a dainty little face at him.
"And why not? Have you any religious scruples about proposing onSunday?"
He grinned absent-mindedly and involuntarily at that. But he shook hishead and his hands stayed behind his back.
"I can't propose to you because I haven't a red cent in the world--atleast not more than three red cents. I couldn't support an everyday wifeon 'em, not to mention a fairy princess."
"As if that mattered," dismissed Carlotta airily. "You are in love withme, aren't you?"
"Lord help me!" groaned Phil. "You know I am."
"And I am in love with you--for the present. You had better ask me whilethe asking is good. The wind may veer by next week, or even by tomorrow.There are other young men who do not require to be commanded to propose.They spurt, automatically and often, like Old Faithful."
Phil's ingenuous face clouded over. The other young men were nofabrication, as he knew to his sorrow. He was forever stumbling over themat Carlotta's careless feet.
"Don't, Carlotta," he begged again. "You don't have to scare me intosubjection, you know. If I had anything to justify me for asking you tomarry me I'd do it this minute without prompting. You ought to know that.And you know I'm jealous enough already of the rest of 'em, without yourrubbing it in now."
"Don't worry, old dear," smiled Carlotta. "I don't care a snap of myfingers for any of the poor worms, though I wouldn't needlessly setfoot on 'em. As for justifications I have a whole bag of them up mysleeve ready to spill out like a pack of cards when the time comes. Youdon't have to concern yourself in the least about them. Your businessis to propose. 'Come, woo me, woo, me, for now I am in a holiday humorand like enough to consent'"--she quoted Tony's lines and, leaningtoward him, lifted her flower face close to his. "Shall I count ten?"she teased.
"Carlotta, have mercy. You are driving me crazy. Pretty thing it would befor me to propose to you before I even got my sheepskin. Jolly pleasedyour father would be, wouldn't he, to be presented with a jobless,penniless son-in-law?"
"Nonsense!" said Carlotta crisply. "It wouldn't matter if you didn't evenhave a fig leaf. You wouldn't be either jobless or penniless if you werehis son-in-law. He has pennies enough for all of us and enough jobs foryou, which is quite sufficient unto the day. Don't be stiff and silly,Phil. And don't set your jaw like that. I hate men who set their jaws. Itisn't at all becoming. I don't say my dear misguided Daddy wouldn't raisea merry little row just at first. He often raises merry little rows overthings I want to do, but in the end he always comes round to my way ofthinking and wants precisely what I want. Everything will be smooth assilk, I promise you. I know what I am talking about. I've thought it outvery carefully. I don't make up my mind in a hurry, but when I do decidewhat I want I take it."
"You can't take this," said Philip Lambert.
Carlotta drew back and stared, her violet eyes very wide open. Never inall her twenty two years had any man said "can't" to her in that tone.It was a totally new experience. For a moment she was too astounded evento be angry.
"What do you mean?" she asked a little limply.
"I mean I won't take your father's pennies nor hold down a pseudo-jobI'm not fitted for, even for the sake of being his son-in-law. And Iwon't marry you until I am able to support you on the kind of job I amfitted for."
"And may I inquire what that is?" demanded Carlotta sharply, recoveringsufficiently to let the thorns she usually kept gracefully concealedprick out from among the roses.
Phil laughed shortly.
"Don't faint, Carlotta. I am eminently fitted to be a villagestore-keeper. In fact that is what I shall be in less than two weeks. Iam going
into partnership with my father. The new sign _Stuart Lambertand Son_ is being painted now."
Carlotta gasped.
"Phil! You wouldn't. You can't."
"Oh yes, Carlotta. I not only could and would but I am going to. It hasbeen understood ever since I first went to college that when I was outI'd put my shoulder to the wheel beside Dad's. He has been pushing alonetoo long as it is. He needs me. You don't know how happy he and Mums areabout it. It is what they have dreamed about and planned, for years. I'mthe only son, you know. It's up to me."
"But, Phil! It is an awful sacrifice for you." For once Carlotta forgotherself completely.
"Not a bit of it. It is a flourishing concern--not just a two-by-fourvillage shop--a real department store, doing real business and makingreal money. Dad built it all up himself, too. He has a right to be proudof it and I am lucky to be able to step in and enjoy the results of allhis years of hard work. I'm not fooling myself about that. Don't get theimpression I am being a martyr or anything of the sort. I mostdistinctly am not."
Carlotta made a little inarticulate exclamation. Mechanically she countedthe cars of the train which was winding its black, snake-like trail fardown below them in the valley. It hadn't occurred to her that the moonwould be difficult to dislodge. Perhaps Carlotta didn't know much aboutmoons, after all.
Phil went on talking earnestly, putting his case before her as best hemight. He owed it to Carlotta to try to make her understand if he could.He thought that, under all the whimsicalities, it was rather fine of herto lay down her princess pride and let him see she cared, that she reallywanted him. It made her dearer, harder to resist than ever. If only hecould make her understand!
"You see I'm not fitted for city life," he explained. "I hate it. I liketo live where everybody has a plot of green grass in front of his houseto set his rocking chair in Sunday afternoons; where people can havetrees that they know as well as they know their own family and don't haveto go to a park to look at 'em; where they can grow tulips and greenpeas--and babies, too, if the lord is good to 'em. I want to plant myroots where people are neighborly and interested in each other as humanbeings, not shut away like cave dwellers in apartment houses, not knowingor caring who is on the other side of the wall. I should get to hatingpeople if I had to be crowded into a subway with them, day after day,treading on their toes, and they on mine. Altogether I am afraid I have asmall town mind, sweetheart."
He smiled at Carlotta as he made the confession, but she did not respond.Her face gave not the slightest indication as to what was going on in hermind as he talked.
"I wouldn't be any good at all in your father's establishment. I'venever wanted to make money on the grand scale. I wouldn't be my father'sson if I did. I couldn't be a banker or a broker if I tried, and I don'twant to try."
"Not even for the sake of--having me?" Carlotta's voice was asexpressionless as her face. She still watched the train, almostvanishing from sight now in the far distance, leaving a cloud of uglyblack smoke behind it to mar the lustrous azure of the June sky.
Phil, too, looked out over the valley. He dared not look at Carlotta. Hewas young and very much in love. He wanted Carlotta exceedingly. For aminute everything blurred before his gaze. It seemed as if he would tryanything, risk anything, give up anything, ride rough shod over anything,even his own ideals, to gain her. It was a tense moment. He came verynear surrendering and thereby making himself, and Carlotta too, unhappyforever after. But something stronger held him back. Oddly enough heseemed to see that sign _Stuart Lambert and Son_ written large all overthe valley. His gaze came back to Carlotta. Their eyes met. The hardnesswas gone from the girl's, leaving a wistful tenderness, a sweetsurrender, no man had ever seen there before. A weaker lad would havecapitulated under that wonderful, new look of Carlotta's. It onlystrengthened Philip Lambert. It was for her as well as himself.
"I am sorry, Carlotta," he said. "I couldn't do it, though I'd give youmy heart to cut up into pieces if it could make you happy. Maybe I wouldrisk it for myself. But I can't go back on my father, even for you."
"Then you don't love me." Carlotta's rare and lovely tenderness wasburned away on the instant in a quick blaze of anger.
"Yes I do, dear. It is because I love you that I can't do it. I have togive you the best of me, not the worst of me. And the best of me belongsin Dunbury. I wish I could make you understand. And I wish with all myheart that, since I can't come to you, you could care enough to come tome. But I am not going to ask it--not now anyway. I haven't the right.Perhaps in two years time, if you are still free, I shall; but not now.It wouldn't be fair."
"Two years from now, and long before, I shall be married," saidCarlotta with a sharp little metallic note in her voice. She was tryingto keep from crying but he did not know that and winced both at herwords and tone.
"That must be as it will," he answered soberly. "I cannot do anydifferently. I would if I could. It--it isn't so easy to give you up. Oh,Carlotta! I love you."
And suddenly, unexpectedly to himself and Carlotta, he had her in hisarms and was covering her face with kisses. Carlotta's cheeks flamed. Shewas no longer a lily, but a red, red rose. Never in her life had she beenso frightened, so ecstatic. With all her dainty, capricious flirtationsshe had always deliberately fenced herself behind barriers. No man hadever held her or kissed her like this, the embrace and kisses of a loverto whom she belonged.
"Phil! Don't, dear--I mean, do, dear--I love you," she whispered.
But her words brought Phil back to his senses. His arms dropped and hedrew away, ashamed, remorseful. He was no saint. According to his way ofthinking a man might kiss a girl now and then, under impulsion ofmoonshine or mischief, but lightly always, like thistledown. A man didn'tkiss a girl as he had just kissed Carlotta unless he had the right tomarry her. It wasn't playing straight.
"I'm sorry, Carlotta. I didn't mean to," he said miserably.
"I'm not. I'm glad. I think way down in my heart I've always wanted youto kiss me, though I didn't know it would be like that. I knew yourkisses would be different, because _you_ are different."
"How am I different?" Phil's voice was humble. In his own eyes he seemedpitifully undifferent, precisely like all the other rash, intemperate,male fools in the world.
"You are different every way. It would take too long to tell you all ofthem, but maybe you are chiefly different because I love you and I don'tlove the rest. Except for Daddy. I've never loved anybody but myselfbefore, and when you kissed me I just seemed to feel my _meness_ goingright out of me, as if I stopped belonging to myself and began to belongto you forever and ever. It scared me but--I liked it."
"You darling!" fatuously. "Carlotta, will you marry me?"
It was out at last--the words she claimed she had brought him up themountain to say--the words he had willed not to speak.
"Of course. Kiss me again, Phil. We'll wire Daddy tomorrow."
"Wire him what?" The mention of Carlotta's father brought Phil back toearth with a jolt.
"That we are engaged and that he is to find a suitable job for you so wecan be married right away," chanted Carlotta happily.
Phil's rainbow vanished almost as soon as it had appeared in the heavens.He drew a long breath.
"Carlotta, I didn't mean that. I can't be engaged to you that way. Imeant--will you marry me when I can afford to have a fairy princessin my home?"
Carlotta stared at him, her rainbow, too, fading.
"You did?" she asked vaguely. "I thought--"
"I know," groaned Phil. "It was stupid of me--worse than stupid. Itcan't be helped now I suppose. The damage is done. Shall we take the nextcar down? It is getting late."
He rose and put out both hands to help her to her feet. For a moment theystood silent in front of the gray bowlder. The end of the world seemed tohave come for them both. It was like Humpty Dumpty. All the King's horsesand all the King's men couldn't restore things to their old state norbring back the lost happiness of that one perfect moment when they hadbelonged to e
ach other without reservations. Carlotta put out her handand touched Philip's.
"Don't feel too badly, Phil," she said. "As you say, it can't behelped--nothing can be helped. It just had to be this way. We can'teither of us make ourselves over or change the way we look at thingsand want things. I wish I were different for both our sakes. I wish Iwere big enough and brave enough and fine enough to say I would marryyou anyway, and stop being a princess. But I don't dare. I know myselftoo well. I might think I could do it up here where it is all still andpurple and sweet and sacred. But when we got down to the valley again Iam afraid I couldn't live up to it, nor to you, Philip, my king.Forgive me."
Phil bent and kissed her again--not passionately this time, but with akind of reverent solemnity as if he were performing a rite.
"Never mind, sweetheart. I don't blame you any more than you blame me.We've got to take life as we find it, not try to make it over intosomething different to please ourselves. If some day you meet the man whocan make you happy in your way, I'll not grudge him the right. I'm notsure I shall even envy him. I've had my moment."
"But Phil, you aren't going to be awfully unhappy about me?" sighedCarlotta. "Promise you won't. You know I never wanted to hurt themoon, dear."
Philip shook his head.
"Don't worry about the moon. It is a tough old orb. I shan't be toounhappy. A man has a whole lot of things beside love in his life. I amnot going to let myself be such a fool as to be miserable because thingsstarted out a little differently from what I would like to have them."His smile was brave but his eyes belied the smile and Carlotta's heartsmote her.
"You will forget me," she said. It was half a reproach, half a command.
Again he shook his head in denial.
"Do you remember the queen who claimed she had Calais stamped on herheart? Well, open mine a hundred years from now and you'll read_Carlotta_."
"But won't you ever marry?" pursued Carlotta with youth's insistence onprobing wounds to the quick.
"I don't know. Probably," he added honestly. "A man is a poor stick inthis world without a home and kiddies. If I do it will be a long time yetthough. It will be many a year before I see anybody but you, no matterwhere I look."
"But I am horrid--selfish, cowardly, altogether horrid."
"Are you?" smiled Phil. "I wonder. Anyway I love you. Come on, dear.We'll have to hurry. The car is nearly due."
And, as twilight settled down over the valley like a great bird broodingover its nest, Philip and Carlotta went down from the mountain.
Wild Wings Page 3
