by Bolden, Beth
Benji turned to Diego, sliding his phone back into his pocket. “You need to start deciding how you want to do this, and the restrictions you want,” he said seriously, “because we seem to be in full-steam-ahead mode.”
Diego nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets and glancing up at the sky. “I guess I do,” he said.
———
It was always going to be an unpleasant conversation, but Diego figured that the atmosphere could at least improve it a little. So he arranged to meet Vicky and Ana at his favorite taco stand, high on one of the hills overlooking Malibu.
It was the sort of place where celebrities and normal people mingled regularly, and he figured that there, at least they’d escape the microscope he’d suddenly been thrust under. Benji had been too right; they were definitely in full-steam-ahead mode, if the handful of paparazzi camping out by his front gate was any indication.
So far they’d only gotten pictures of him flipping them off from behind the tinted windows of his Tesla, but every day there seemed to be someone new.
When he’d called Vicky to arrange lunch, she’d answered him, sarcastic tone in full deployment, “Sure, I guess I shouldn’t deprive you of an opportunity to make rude gestures at your new friends.”
She’d never liked the fame that accompanied her dating one of the members of Star Shadow, but then he’d never particularly liked that aspect of his job either, so at the time, she’d seemed like a good choice. But now, so much had changed, and for the first time, Diego was going to be seeking the attention, and he knew she was going to hate it.
Not even for herself, but for their daughter.
He got to the taco stand early, and was in line to order when Vicky, with Ana settled on her hip, walked up.
“Hey,” Diego said, reaching for Ana and settling her into his arms. She babbled happily, always excited to see her papa. He felt a terrible premonition that this might be the last time they could do this in peace, with no recriminations and no accusations.
“Curse any more paparazzi out today?” Vicky asked calmly, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear. “I heard they were literally camped out on your doorstep. All because of that stupid Steve Swan and even stupider questions.”
“Question,” Diego corrected softly. “There was only one.”
Vicky shot him a look. “And all those pictures. I told you to take security, not your new boyfriend.”
Diego’s heart squeezed. It didn’t matter that rumors were swirling through the LA media scene, most people declaring them already together, it still meant something when someone he knew and cared about called Benji his boyfriend. It was something he’d wanted for so long, and the only part that sucked now was the part that he’d always known would suck—telling everyone.
“I figured he was more discreet than some huge bodybuilder security guy,” Diego said. Would he have done it differently if he’d known what they were facing now? The truth was the perfect memories of that day couldn’t be tarnished, even by all this bullshit. Besides, whether it was now or in a year or five years, they were eventually going to have to come clean about their relationship to the public. Diego had always believed that, and while he wouldn’t have picked this moment or this way, there was an inevitability he couldn’t deny.
“Discreet?” Vicky asked disbelievingly. “You and Benji making heart eyes all over Disneyland?”
“We weren’t . . .” Diego stopped short, because he had seen the pictures. He hadn’t meant to look at Benji in any particular way, but he guessed it was expected, considering how long he’d wanted him.
“Yeah,” Vicky said shortly. “You were. I know, because I got asked twice in the grocery store how I feel about my ex-husband being gay and, I’m quoting here, ‘betraying our family.’”
“Gay!” Ana exclaimed, clapping her hands with excitement.
She’d said it loud enough that several people actually turned around in line to see what the commotion was.
“By the way,” Vicky added laconically, “that’s now a thing. She repeats at least half of what I say, so make sure you keep your language clean.”
“Great,” Diego grumbled. “And for the record, I’m not gay.”
Vicky’s expression softened. “I know, I know this sucks for you, way more than it sucks for me. And if I get to tell off upper-class white people in the grocery store, you know that’s a bonus for me. I can be the wild card ex-wife, but you have to behave yourself still.”
Diego shot her a look.
“Okay,” she amended, “mostly behave yourself. You do realize you can totally see you flipping off the paparazzi behind your car windows, right? Their camera flashes go right through the tinting.”
“Yeah,” Diego admitted. “I know I shouldn’t, but it feels so goddamn satisfying.”
“Goddamn!” Ana exclaimed, and Diego and Vicky exchanged a commiserating look.
“How does she know the worst word to pick out of a sentence?” Diego asked, mystified.
“She’s your daughter,” Vicky said, throwing up her hands. “Figure it out.”
“I am sorry though, about the people in the grocery store. That’s . . . I wish I could fix that for you. I wish I could fix more than just that.”
“Don’t you dare apologize for anything else,” Vicky said, suddenly fierce, tears in her eyes. “Don’t you dare apologize for her.”
“I’m not, I’m not, she’s the one good thing to come out of this, I promise, I don’t regret her,” Diego said hastily.
“Good,” Vicky harrumphed. “Make sure that doesn’t change.”
They made it to the front of the line, and after ordering, Vicky and Ana went to find an empty picnic table. Diego stayed behind to pick up their food.
He pulled out his phone and sent Benji a quick text. V is not happy, but not nearly as combative as I expected.
Benji’s reply was quick. Combative? Did I need to come protect you, knight in shining armor style?
Diego smiled, in spite of himself. Thanks, but I’m trying to keep my damsel-in-distress moments to a minimum. I’ll let you know if I need you to come defend my honor.
Good, Benji’s text back read, because I’d do it in a heartbeat. I love you, and you’ve got this.
Diego’s number was called, so after typing back a quick, love you too, text, he picked up their food and went to the table Vicky and Ana had settled at.
Vicky waited until she’d demolished two tacos and most of a serving of guacamole before she started in again.
“I’m assuming you told Benji’s rabid agent that Ana was off-limits,” Vicky said, her casual, conversational tone belying the fierceness of her words.
Diego glared. “Who do you think I am?”
“I know, I know,” Vicky admitted. “I know you wouldn’t let it happen, but that manager Benji hired is notorious in the industry for going off half-cocked. I want you to make it one hundred percent clear to him that Ana is off-limits.”
Diego took a big bite of his al pastor taco, chewed, and swallowed. “You know I’m going to. You know that.”
Leaning back on the bench, Vicky looked at him seriously. “I do, but you’re going through a big upheaval, lots of change, and I don’t want that to negatively impact Ana.”
“I can’t see why it would.”
Vicky stared at him frankly, unapologetically from across the table. “It’s changed you, so I think my concern is more than a little justified here.”
There was no way she was right, because he and Benji had only been dating for a few weeks, and if it was even possible to really change in that amount of time, all he felt was soul-deep relief that they hadn’t screwed it up after all.
“I haven’t changed,” Diego said calmly.
Vicky gave a short bark of laughter, and he wasn’t sure he liked the way she was looking at him. Like she didn’t know him at all, after all. “You’re willing to go through this, and the Diego I met a few years ago would have shrunk from the attention like he was practi
cally allergic to it.”
He heard what she was saying, and he also heard the criticism in between her words. Benji is making you do this. You’d only do this for Benji. You’d do anything for Benji.
She wasn’t wrong, and it probably didn’t feel good to realize that, even though she’d known long before he had that he’d been in love with the other man.
It probably didn’t feel very good either, to have to deal with those grocery store confrontations, even though she made light of them.
“I’ve actually watched when two people hide how they feel, and what happens in the aftermath,” Diego said flatly. “I’m not going to lie. Neither is Benji. The why or when doesn’t matter nearly as much as the fact that it’s happening.”
“It doesn’t bother you that Benji’s manager is going to use your coming out to make him more popular?” Vicky demanded.
One of the biggest issues in their relationship—besides him being in love with someone else—had always been that Vicky was so goddamned black and white. The fame the band had acquired over the years had made it a lot easier for Diego to live in the gray areas, and Vicky had never understood that.
Diego had always believed they’d be fine, but then she’d told him she was pregnant with their child, and then it had mattered, because they were going to have to figure out how to co-raise a child with two completely different life philosophies.
For two years it had worked, and now it was in danger of all falling apart because Diego had changed the status quo.
“I like to think we’re both going to benefit from this,” Diego said mildly.
The one thing his lawyer had said after working out the initial custody agreement was that it was in his best interest to not piss Vicky off. “Not because you don’t have the resources to fight anything she does,” he had said apologetically, “but mostly because that woman strikes me as the most stubborn person I’ve ever met.”
And Diego had agreed with him, for that reason, and for others, but now, he knew he was in danger of crossing a line.
“But we won’t,” Vicky said, glancing pointedly at where Ana, sitting next to Diego, was enthusiastically crushing tortilla chips between her fingers.
The problem was that Diego couldn’t possibly argue with that. Grocery store confrontations notwithstanding, it was not in Vicky and Ana’s best interest for him to raise his public profile. Especially not by dating someone else, with so much potential public interest.
“No,” Diego said with a sigh. “And I’m sorry about that, but I’m not going to hide in the closet for your benefit, even for Ana’s benefit. I’d do just about anything for her, but I can’t do that.”
“You could, but you won’t,” Vicky said, and the bitterness in her voice terrified him.
She could ruin his life, and she could do it so fucking easily, it was frightening—a moment right out of all his nightmares.
“We’ll figure it out. I told Benji’s manager that I have to approve everything that comes out. Everything has to go through me first. I’ll do everything I can to minimize the blowback you and Ana experience.”
“And when Ana has kids in her playgroup ask her why her papa is dating a man?”
Diego shot her a reprimanding look. “Bisexuality is not a complicated concept, V. You know that. You knew that after you I was probably going to eventually date someone else, and it was probably going to be a man. Maybe not Benji, but a man. That wasn’t a secret.”
“No,” she said, in a cold voice, “but I underestimated the circus that would revolve around it.”
“If Ana has anyone ask her, it’s easy enough to say that her papa can date anyone he goddamn wants to,” Diego retorted.
“Fine,” Vicky said, and her voice had dropped from merely cold to somewhere in the vicinity of frigid.
Fuck.
———
“So, what you’re saying is that it couldn’t have gone worse,” Benji said softly, carefully smoothing back Diego’s hair as he lay in his lap.
“She could have thrown her horchata in my face, that’s how it could have gone worse,” Diego said morosely.
“I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was. Your lawyer wasn’t wrong; Vicky can be exceedingly stubborn. She was just caught off guard by the sudden interest in your love life. I think she even forgot you were famous, too.”
Diego let out a pleased sigh and wiggled happily against Benji’s calming hand stroking his hair. “I think she deliberately forgot that part.”
“It’s gonna be okay,” Benji said. “I promise. We’ll keep Jay on a very short leash.”
“The fact that he needs a leash at all worries me,” Diego said.
“I know,” Benji admitted. Something he’d been thinking about more and more. He’d even sent his contract with Jay to his lawyer. It wasn’t like he was hoping for a loophole, but Diego was going to be in his life long-term, and Benji knew he couldn’t continue to be pushed and pulled between his agent and his boyfriend. He was going to have to find someone new to manage him that was a little more low-key, and for the first time, that annoying voice in his head didn’t squawk in protest.
“First day off from recording in almost two weeks, and it had to be like this,” Diego said mournfully. “I barely got to even spend any time with Ana.”
“We can always make up for the bad day,” Benji offered.
Moving his hand further up Benji’s thigh, he felt the muscles tense under his loose athletic shorts. “Yeah?” Diego asked, and the sudden heat flushing him would definitely help distract from the shitty lunch he’d had with Vicky, but unfortunately it wouldn’t erase it.
Still, he was definitely open to some solid distraction attempts.
“Yeah,” Benji agreed, shifting a little, causing Diego’s hand to move even higher, until he could palm his hard dick through his shorts.
Diego was just about to rise up and press his mouth to Benji’s when Benji’s phone rang, loudly.
He opened his mouth to tell him to turn it off, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with Jay or any of his antics right now, but Benji’s gaze flew to Diego’s, and it was clear, the especially ear-piercing ring was not normal.
“What’s going on?” Diego said, moving his hand away from Benji’s cock as he reached over to answer the phone.
“That’s my PR person,” Benji said, “and the only reason they’d be calling is if something bad just happened.”
“Something bad?” Diego asked apprehensively. His mind swirled with every possibly bad scenario there was, but nothing solidified as a strong possibility.
Benji answered the call and nodded gravely, once then again. After about a minute, he ended the call and set the phone down on the coffee table.
“Well,” he said, “something unexpected just happened.”
“Unexpected good or unexpected bad?” Diego asked.
Benji made a face. “Unexpected complicated. Do you remember how I said that Jay’s other option for raising my profile was getting into a fake relationship with Rochelle Andrews?”
Diego nodded.
“Well,” he said, clearly upset that he was having to tell Diego this at all, “there were some pictures that got taken, a long time ago, around when we first stated dating. I didn’t even know they were going to be taken, but they were. I told Jay to bury them in a hole so deep nobody would ever find them, and unfortunately it seems like someone’s found them.”
Diego didn’t immediately grasp the problem. “And? There’s pictures of you and Rochelle out there? I’m assuming they’re pretty innocent.”
They had to be, he told himself, or else Benji would have told him.
“Yeah, they’re . . . we’re standing at the back exit to a nightclub. They’re nothing worth remarking on. Except that somebody’s trying to start a narrative that I’m cheating on you with Rochelle—or vice versa.”
“What,” Diego said flatly. “What.”
“TMZ is running it, and the pics, and the pics from Disneyland.
All in one article. And insinuating a lot of shit that doesn’t look good. Jay wants to immediately counter, but that means dropping something big now before we have time to think about it.”
“I don’t want to do that,” Diego said immediately, even though the idea of the world thinking he was either being cheated on or cheated with didn’t sit well with him at all. Rushing things at this point would put Vicky on even more of an alert, and she was already plenty pissed off after this afternoon. One more bad nudge in a certain direction and she might do something they’d all regret.
“I know you don’t, but we need to do something,” Benji begged. “We need to figure out our next move, and it can’t be nothing.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Diego stood up slowly. The mood from earlier had vanished completely, and Benji didn’t know what to do to get it back. Or what to say that would convince Diego that they couldn’t just sit on this.
“Was this the plan the whole time?” Diego asked softly.
“What? No! Of course not. Why would you even ask that?” Benji couldn’t believe that Diego would ever think he’d condone a plan like that.
“Because, all of this shit happened after we told your agent that I wanted to change the plan. And guess what? There’s no chance for me to do that now. It’s suddenly, and conveniently, impossible.” Diego clenched his fists together. “Vicky is already pissed at me, how do you think she’s going to feel now?”
Benji shrugged. “It sucks, I’m not saying it doesn’t suck, but sometimes these things go sideways. You can’t always control everything.”
“Control everything?” Diego looked incredulous. “I don’t even want to control everything! All I’ve ever wanted is to preserve what I already have, but I’m not even sure how to do that anymore.”
