This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. This wasn't how Olivia and I had rehearsed things.
"I think you two are brothers." I spat the words out as fast as I could.
There. I'd said it.
The words hung in the air, undigested for a second.
"Shit!" Seth was wearing his beanie. He pulled it lower on his head with a nervous gesture. "You really do look like Dad."
Ian ran his hand through his hair and studied Seth as if he was scrutinizing his own reflection in the mirror.
"I don't know for sure," I said, ping-ponging my gaze between them, looking for signs of hope. "It's all circumstantial. All the evidence just sort of piled up bit by bit."
I was pleading with them, but neither one of them was listening.
Seth turned to me, hurt shining in his eyes. "How long have you known? Why didn't you tell me? Were you using me for fun? How could you, Maddie?"
He turned abruptly on his heel and stormed out.
"Seth! Wait! I can explain." I started after him.
Ian grabbed my arm. "Let him go."
I started bawling.
Ian shut and locked the door again and pulled me into his arms, cooing to me like I was still his baby sis. "It's okay. He needs time to process. Give him a little space. He'll come back."
He guided me to a chair and gently sat me in it, and poured me a glass of water from his water cooler.
He handed it to me. "Drink this."
"Water, it cures everything." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and sniffed.
Ian handed me a tissue. "Water is calming."
He pulled up a chair next to me.
"Are you okay?" I said through my sniffles. "This isn't the way I wanted you to find out. I didn't ask Seth to come here today. I don't know why he was here." I wiped my eyes. "I was going to tell you and ask your advice about what we should do and how I should tell Seth."
Ian nodded.
"You're taking this well," I said.
He nodded. "I'm not completely surprised. I mean, I am totally surprised that my sister is dating my brother."
"Yeah, that's crazy," I said. "Completely insane. A trick played by fate. Almost Oedipal."
"Not quite." He took my hand between his. "You and he aren't blood related." He stated it as simple fact. "I'm not surprised that I have a brother or that Dad isn't my biological dad. I've known he wasn't for a while now."
"That's why you came here," I finished for him. "That's what you hinted at, about finding out more about Mom and Dad's story."
"I always knew you were bright, sis." He squeezed my hand.
"What made you suspect?" I asked.
"Little things. The way I looked nothing like Dad or any of his side of the family. The way Mom treated me differently from you. The way you were Dad's obvious favorite. The stories I overheard from Mom's sister and from Grandma about how surprised they were when she married Dad. That he didn't seem like her type. That she'd never mentioned him during the school year and the courtship was so quick. About how the quiet ones could surprise you, but he never seemed the type to knock a girl up. And hadn't she been so crazy about that frat boy? What had happened between them? Why didn't she act all gaga like that about Bruce? Maybe she'd grown up and gotten past the silly stage.
"The way Mom and Dad never talked about college or how they met. When asked, they were totally vague." He paused, looking thoughtful. "You know how a lot of little kids think they're adopted? Even ones who aren't?"
I nodded.
"I've had that feeling forever, that I was adopted."
I nodded. Ian and I were both intuitive that way. In fact, my feeling about this semester being life-changing was right on target. Just not in the way I'd thought it would be.
"Then one time I overheard Grandma speculating to her sister, Great-Aunt Rebecca, about how she'd always wondered if I really was Bruce's son. That sealed it for me. I was positive I was half adopted. That I wasn't Dad's." He hesitated again. "I have a confession. I did something crazy, Mads."
I looked at him, surprised. "What?"
"I had a paternity test run on myself."
I was sure my eyes went wide. I was stunned. "What?"
He nodded.
"When? How? Dad is…gone."
He looked apologetically at me. "A few years ago. You can't tell Mom. I just had to know. I got a DNA sample from Uncle Will. The paternal DNA can be matched to a male relative. If he was my blood uncle, we'd share the same male DNA from our Y chromosome."
"And you didn't?"
"No."
I was dumbfounded. "Dad's brother agreed to that? How did you approach him? How did you talk him out of it? And swear him to secrecy?"
He shrugged. "I didn't ask him. I stole it."
I just stared at my brother, in awe of him. "Like, pulled a hair out of his head?"
"Something like that." He looked like he was trying not to grin over his cleverness.
"And kept it a secret for years?"
He nodded.
"And didn't tell me?"
He shook his head.
"Were you ever going to tell me?"
He looked almost guilty. "No. Not unless I had to. Bruce raised me like his own. He claimed me. He's the only dad I've ever known. He is my dad. He didn't want anyone to know I wasn't his biological son. I felt I owed him that respect and loyalty." His eyes misted over. "I loved him, too, Mads."
Fresh tears welled in my eyes. I realized something else. "I'm only your half-sister."
"You're my sister. Period." He paused and looked at once hopeful and sheepish. "Do I have any others?"
I smiled through my tears at him. "If you're hoping for a better sister, you're going to be disappointed. If I'm right about Rick Butler being your dad, I'm the only one. And, by the way, he was a frat boy. Just another bit of corroborating evidence." I bit my lip. "You had another half-brother besides Seth."
"Had?"
I nodded. "I'm sorry. He passed away years ago. When he was twelve." I hesitated. "He was almost exactly your age."
Ian took a minute to take that in. "My suspected father got two girls pregnant at once?"
I nodded. "And, from what I've pieced together, married the first one who told him she was going to have a baby—Seth's mom, Colleen." I took a deep breath. "I wanted to hate him, but Rick is a good guy."
"You've met him?" Ian looked surprised.
"I spent the last weekend of spring break with Seth at his dad's. Mom doesn't know. I lied to her about where I was going. I suspected things. I had to find out."
Ian whistled softly. "Now I'm impressed."
"If it's any consolation, I don't think he knows about you. That you exist at all. That Mom was ever pregnant. I don't think she told him."
"We're talking like he's a sure thing," Ian said.
"The evidence is circumstantial, but pretty monumental and convincing. I'll tell you everything I know. How this all happened. How I found out. How I started dating Seth."
I broke my hands free from his and scooted close enough to throw my arms around his neck. "Just please don't judge me. This all piled on me one bit of circumstantial evidence at a time."
"I would never judge you, baby sis. You know that." He sounded fierce and protective.
I believed him. Ian had always been my rock.
"I love Seth! I need your help to get him back. He had no idea he had another brother. No idea that brother is my brother, too. It's all such a mess."
Ian stroked my hair. "He's had a shock. He needs time. If he's really my brother, he'll come around. I've had a couple of years to digest the information that Dad wasn't my biological dad."
I gulped and nodded, trying to smile. "I have to text him and offer to explain." I felt even paler. "And warn him that Rick doesn't know about you."
"You're right," Ian said gently, seemingly unconcerned his dad might accidentally find out about him. "Text him and then we can talk. We have all day."
Chapter 18
I raced out of the room, out of the offices, out of the building. Out into the fresh, cool spring air. To the edge of the mall. I had to get away.
I ran to the parking lot and collapsed against my car. How could Maddie do this to me? How long had she known?
I have a brother. A living older brother.
The thought was startling. Did Dad know? Had he kept it from me, too?
Maddie had hurt me. Hurt me so bad. To the core. Buying wine ahead for our one-year anniversary. What a douche I was.
My phone buzzed with a text. Maddie. My heart felt tight in my chest. I almost ignored the message. But Maddie was impossible for me to resist. Deep down, I wanted her to explain. I wanted her to be innocent. A victim of circumstance. I wanted to believe she hadn't meant to hurt me. But how could I trust a girl who didn't share important crap like this? We were supposed to face things together.
Shit, I still needed her.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out like this. I learned the truth bit by bit, piece by piece until it became a mountain of evidence. I only came to the full realization over the weekend. I had to talk to my brother before I went to you with my suspicions. I was meeting him at his office to tell him and get his advice when you walked in.
Ian didn't know anything about you or us. He's totally innocent in this. He's always believed my dad is his dad. From what I've pieced together, I don't think Rick knows Ian even exists, either. Please, let's talk about this before you tell him.
Just know, you and I aren't related. And I love you.
I swallowed a lump in my throat. I wasn't in the mood to talk. I slid the phone back in my pocket without answering and pounded my fist against the hood of my car.
How was I supposed to deal with this? I had been dating my brother's sister. My girlfriend and I shared a brother. What kind of crazy shit was that?
I needed to think. I just needed to think.
Maddie
After I left Ian, I went back to my apartment and told Olivia the whole sad story.
"So Ian suspected your dad wasn't his and took the whole thing well?" She sounded dumbfounded.
I nodded. "He's always been intuitive. I think he likes the idea that he has a little brother, too. He's always wanted one. Though maybe not this way." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my laugh.
"And Seth didn't take it so well?" Olivia frowned.
I shook my head. "I wish I knew why he'd come to the office. It was totally unexpected and caught me off guard. I thought by going to Ian and telling him, I had everything under control." I sighed and gave her a sad look. "You and I never practiced this scenario."
"Fate can be a real bastard!" Olivia spat.
"Seth isn't responding to my texts. Ian says he needs time. What do you think?" I asked her.
"Don't give up on him," she said. "If he loves you, he'll come around. And I'm sure he does."
"But how can I explain if he won't see me or respond?" I was desperate for an answer that would put us back together.
She shook her head gently. "He doesn't necessarily have to respond. You just have to tell him the story. And hope he comes to terms with it."
I gave her a well-duh look. "You're right. If I lay it out like it unfolded for me, a little bit at a time, then he has to understand."
"And if he doesn't, he's a douche and doesn't deserve you." She gave me a hug.
"True." I fought back tears. "But now that he and Ian are related, it's going to be kind of hard to completely cut him out of my life if he doesn't."
"Take the chance," she said.
I grabbed my phone and began texting Seth.
On the first day of the semester, I took a seat in HBM 225, totally believing that class would change my life. And then, in walked this hot, charming guy who lit up the room. And who just happened to look a lot like my older brother. My brother who all the girls fall over because he's so handsome. The brother I idolize. Who's charming and loving. The brother I used to tease when I was young and pretend was my boyfriend to make the rest of the girls jealous.
As I stared at this new guy, and tried to not to drool all over him, I thought, Life is a full of irony. How can I be so attracted to someone who looks so much like Ian?
But it never crossed my mind that you two could be related. Why would it? As far as I knew, my dad was Ian's. So life had a sense of humor, throwing a guy like my brother at me. But that was it, as far as I was concerned.
I didn't realize until later that was the beginning of a mound of circumstantial evidence that would surface one pebble at a time…
Seth
Someone pounded on our apartment door loud enough to make me jump. Zach was out and I wasn't expecting anyone. I grumbled as I got up to answer it. It was probably Zach's buddy Dakota stopping by to hang out.
I swung the door open, ready to chew Dak out for interrupting my studying.
Ian Foster stood outside the apartment, an intense look on his face. "Hello, little brother." He grinned, but his eyes and voice were hard. He filled the doorway, standing tall, like he was trying to intimidate me. Like he was challenging me to turn him away.
"How the hell did you find out where I live?" My voice was as hard as his eyes. I wasn't ready to deal with him. I wasn't ready to deal with any of this shit. I'd even been ignoring texts from Dad, afraid I would lash out at him.
Ian didn't wait to be invited in. He brushed past me into the tiny entryway with a shove, an intentional foul. "I have my sources."
I wanted to shove him back in the worst way. But I resisted. For now.
He was carrying an innocuous brown paper bag. He lifted it and shook it. "Close the door. I brought you a present."
"I don't want your damn present." I glared at him and balled my fists. I'd always wanted an older brother. Now I wanted to punch the smug look off his face.
Maddie would be furious with me if I did. And somehow that still mattered and kept me in line.
Ian seemed amazingly calm. And confident. Almost amused beneath a veneer of deadly seriousness, like this was some sort of bad joke. He reminded me too damn much of Dad. Which made me even angrier.
"You'll want this one." He rattled the bag again. "We can settle this now."
I made a fist, ready to defend myself. Damn, I wanted to shove him and take a swing at him. For me. For Maddie. For everything.
"You want to step outside?" I reached for the doorknob. "Let's go."
He laughed harshly. "Calm down, big shot. I'm not afraid to fight you. If that's what you want, I'm happy to oblige. For my sister. You've been screwing with her. And you broke her heart. It's my duty to break your nose in return." He stared me down, looking like he meant it. "But before we engage in brotherly horseplay, let's find out if we really are brothers."
I stared at him. "What do you mean, find out? I haven't told Dad about you yet. If you're planning to waltz in and introduce yourself to him, forget it." For some crazy reason I felt suddenly protective of my father. The old man had had a lot to deal with. I wasn't sure I wanted to throw another possible son at him.
My potential older brother rattled that damn paper bag again. "I brought an ancestry test."
"Don't you need my dad for that?" I stared him down, jealous and defensive.
Ian shook his head. "Not for this. I ran a paternity test on my dad after he died. I'm not his biological son." He looked genuinely sad about that. "I've known for years. I have the test results. All we need is a sample of your DNA to run through an ancestry DNA test. If our paternal line DNA matches, bingo! We're brothers."
I frowned at him, liking him and hating him at the same time. "No need to involve Dad?"
He shook his head. "Not until we know for sure I'm his son. This test solves all your problems. If we're not a match, this mess goes away—"
"And if we are?" I stared at him, knowing we were. Looking at us, it was obvious. And once you threw in the damning circumstantial evidence, I figured the odds of us not being brot
hers were about a million to one.
"We deal with it." He sounded calm and assured.
I tried to match his confidence. "I'm not sure I want to be brothers with a guy who would steal his dead dad's DNA."
He shook his head like he was humoring me. "I got the DNA from my uncle, my dad's brother. Without his knowledge, if that adds to my allure as your sibling. You can trace paternal DNA to find your ancestors. My uncle and I should have had a long line of paternal DNA in common. We didn't. We're not related. Not even slightly."
I studied Ian, intrigued and begrudgingly respecting him. "What did you do—pull a hair from his brush?"
He laughed robustly. "Hell no! I've seen Harry Potter and the dire consequences of getting the wrong hair."
I liked him even more, and couldn't help smiling a little.
"I slipped in and got a swab of his saliva while he was napping and snoring like a dog. He never even knew I took it."
"You're a sneaky bastard." I admired his courage and ingenuity.
He shrugged, at least acting modest. "I didn't want anyone to know what I suspected, that Dad wasn't my biological dad. Skeletons in closets, embarrassment for my mom, and all that. And I couldn't ask him for one under false pretenses, either. What if he wanted to know who we were related to and there was no 'we'? Just him and me and two separate biological lines?"
He paused. His face clouded. "I suspected while my Dad was still alive, but I refused to disrespect him or hurt him by asking. If he hadn't died young, I never would have acted on my suspicions.
"Mom still doesn't know. It will kill her when she finds out. For obvious reasons, I haven't asked her about my real father, either. For a while I imagined all kinds of horrible scenarios. Like she was raped or forced."
I felt the anger rise again. "My dad would never—"
"I didn't say he would. I meant before, when there were no suspects. On one level, what Maddie told me after that scene at my office about Mom and your dad was a relief. If Mom loved my biological father, or at least had a crush on him, at least that wasn't the nightmare I'd imagined over the years. Even if he broke her heart."
Shit, there was obvious pain in his voice. I knew that feeling, being the cause of my mother's pain and suffering. I couldn't help flashing him a sympathetic look.
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