Paul pushed Robert into the back seat and slammed the door. "Drive Franklin. Go. Go. Go."
The voice of the forgotten television announcer startled Julie. "I've just witnessed one of the most dramatic events I've ever seen. One man fighting to save his gang from a bloody war then having to defend himself from his own members. I don't know who that young man is, but my opinion of the Shoresmen leader has changed. I'm going to the hospital to see if he lives through the night.
“What kind of passion drives a man to fight for what he believes in against such overwhelming odds? This young man is not the trash we label him as. I think maybe it's time to leave the stereotyping behind and see who he really is. This is Jack Hanes leaving Bells Shopping Center and going to the hospital to report from there." The TV screen went black.
"Come on, Julie, I'll take you to the hospital." Her father placed the remote on a table then extended his hand to help her from the chair.
***
They found Paul in the emergency lobby. Worry etched his face. Julie sat next to him and placed a hand on his arm. Unable to find a seat, Mr. Anderson leaned on a Coke machine. The room was full of somber, quiet gang members waiting for news of their leader. The television reporter sat in a corner. The urgent voice of the intercom called, "Code Blue! Treatment room three!"
A doctor walked into the waiting area. Paul stood. They talked, then the doctor returned to the examining rooms. "He said Marco'll be stayin'. His arm needs surgery."
"Robert shoulda fuckin' killed him." A voice said.
"Robert?" asked another person.
"No word, yet." Paul sat next to Julie. "I think I should tell ya that ya broke his heart. He talked about ya. He said he doesn't know what he did wrong, but I'm supposed to apologize for him. He doesn't wanna end the relationship with ya angry at him."
Fighting to control her nerves, Julie said, "He and I can talk later."
Paul shook his head. "I've never seen him this bad. He's lost a lot of blood. Why'd he fight?"
Julie had no answers.
"He fought 'cause he's Shoresmen." The gang member seated across from her glared. "If ya lived here you'd understand."
The implied insult registered in Julie. It stole her breath. She glanced at Paul. "Am I to blame for this? Did he fight because—"
"He didn't want us gettin' killed." Paul spoke loud enough for the others to hear. "Some of us got families. He said, in the car, he didn't wanna say, wherever ya are no more. He said if he dies, bury him and forget it. That's his last order as Shoresmen leader." Paul's voice cracked. "He knows he's hurt bad."
A nurse stood next to Paul. "Um, gentlemen, I'm not kicking you out but there is no reason for you all to stay." She looked at Paul for support.
"She's right. Me and Julie'll stay."
Anthony stood. "Can I stay? I can ditch school tomorrow."
Paul pointed at him. "You ditch and Robert'll kick your ass. Go home." Anthony dropped his shoulders and followed the others out of the hospital.
Soon the waiting room was empty except for Paul, Julie, Mr. Anderson, the reporter and the cameraman. The reporter walked over. "Would either of you like to talk to me about this Robert fellow?"
"Depends. What do ya wanna know?" Paul narrowed his eyes as he glared at the man.
"Who is he? What kind of leader is he? Where did he learn to fight?" He glanced at his cameraman to see if he was recording the conversation. "All I've been able to dig up on him is his criminal record."
"You'll probably spread that all over the news," Julie snapped. "You're just looking for something sensational. Well, let me tell you, he's smart, kind, generous, loving and brave. He put his life on the line for his gang."
Paul cut in and carried on the defence. "You think of him as drug-crazed scum. I see the human side of him. Yea, he's done some stupid stuff. I was there when he did it. But he was a kid. He learned from his mistakes. What he did today took a lot of guts."
Fighting to control his emotions, Paul stood and faced the reporter. "Most people think of us as trash, but we're just lookin' out for ourselves. He goes to school. Westland Prep. A big part of his salary pays the tuition, but he won't quit. So take that to your viewers." He stomped away.
"Who is that?" asked the reporter.
Julie smiled. "Robert's best friend, Paul."
"And you are?"
"A friend."
"You don't look like the average female who runs with a gang."
"I'm not. I'm a classmate of Robert's."
"Oh, so you're the Westland babe."
Julie rolled her eyes.
"How did a Westland sophisticate end up dating a North Shore gang member?"
"When he's in Westland, he's no different from the rest of us. He's a good student and gets decent grades." She looked over at Paul. He looked scared and alone. She sat beside him. "He's going to be all right. You have to believe that."
"But what if—"
"No what ifs." Julie closed her eyes and shook her head. "Robert said I live in a fairy tale. And right now, I'm holding on to the thought, birds sing, bunnies hop and the hero never dies."
Paul's shoulders were slumped. His eyes were dull with worry. "Robert doesn't believe in fairy tales."
A nurse stepped closer. "Excuse me. Are you here about Robert Holiday?"
Julie nodded.
"We're taking him into surgery, but we need a release form. Is one of you a relative?"
Mr. Anderson shook his head. "He has no family that I know of. But he's been living with us. I'm Judge Anderson."
The nurse turned. "Come with me, please."
He nodded and hurried to catch up with the nurse.
After watching the door close behind Mr. Anderson, Paul broke the silence. "What happened between ya two? I asked Robert if he was fallin' in love with ya. He said someday he'd ask me about being in love, but he had this war to solve. He was almost in love once. Got hurt badly."
"Nothing happened between us, nothing bad that is. I just overreacted. I think we felt more for each other than we were ready to feel." Tears trickled down Julie's cheek. "He has to live Paul, so I can apologize. He can't die thinking I hate him."
Julie yawned and leaned against Paul's shoulder. Paul rested his head on the back wall. Soon, both fell asleep. Mr. Anderson returned and sat quietly reading old magazines and watching the minutes tick by.
Paul sighed, rubbed his face and looked over at Mr. Anderson. Julie's father shook his head. "No news yet."
Julie stirred at the sound of her father's voice. "What? Has something happened?"
"No news, hon." Mr. Anderson stood and stretched his legs. "I'm going for a cup of coffee. Want anything?" Julie and Paul shook their heads.
"I envy you," Julie said. "You got to know him for a long time. I only had a few weeks. I'd like more time."
Paul stared at the tile floor. "I was thinking about the good times, the parties, the girls…oh, guess I shouldn't mention them."
"That's okay." Julie smiled. "Is he a player?"
Paul nodded. "He could go through girlfriends faster than lightning. Shali had him tamed but after she was gone, he was as wild as ever. 'Til he met you."
"I find him an enigma. A puzzle. He looks like a gang member but doesn't act like one."
"He can play gang when he has to."
"He seems like a bad version of the Boy Scouts."
Paul threw back his head and laughed until he remembered where they were.
Mr. Anderson returned and settled on the nearby bench. Paul and Julie lost themselves in the memories of the moments they'd spent with Robert. Tears dribble down Julie's cheeks as she clenched her fists. Keep believing in the fairy tale. Birds sing, bunnies hop and the hero never dies. Birds sing, bunnies hop and the hero—
"Excuse me?"
Julie looked at the doctor dressed in blood-stained surgical greens.
Chapter Fifteen
The doctor grinned. "He'll make it. He's in recovery. Tomorrow afternoon, he should be
lucid enough for a guest or two." Julie hugged the doctor and planted a big kiss on his cheek. "Well that was certainly one of my better fee payments." He returned to the surgical area.
***
Dawn was breaking as they crossed the parking lot. Julie watched in awe as the colours intensified and changed. Crisis one solved. Now, can I figure out how to fix the mess I made of my relationship with Robert?
***
Julie didn't go to the hospital. Each day she created a plausible excuse for her lack of visitations; schoolwork, dance practice or the weather. She'd hurt him. She saw it in his eyes, heard it in his voice and felt it in her heart. Too scared to face him, she conceded that sometimes being a chicken was the best solution.
Saturday afternoon, Julie's mother knocked on her bedroom door. "Paul's downstairs. He'd like to talk to you."
Julie steeled herself and followed her mother to the kitchen. Paul’s face was lined with worry, and his eyes were dull. She leaned a hip on the edge of the kitchen table. "Hi."
"Hi." Paul shifted his feet and glanced around the room. "Uh, how come ya ain't been to see Robert?"
A surge of guilt swept through her body. “I’ve been busy. You know, school and stuff?”
Confusion misplaced worry on Paul’s face. Julie’s heart raced. “He’s okay, right? He’s getting better?”
Paul rubbed his hand across his chin. "He just don't seem right."
Julie played with a jagged fingernail. Mrs. Anderson put on her coat, grabbed her car keys and tossed Julie her jacket. She didn't speak as she trudged to the car or rode to the hospital. She tried to think of what to say to Robert, but her mind was blank.
Paul met them in the hospital lobby then led the way. As they headed for the elevator, Julie froze. "What if he won't talk to me? What am I supposed to say?"
Her mother nudged her into the waiting elevator. Paul pushed button number six and they felt the rise of the elevator except Julie, who thought her stomach was about to sink to her feet. Her heart raced and her palms grew clammy. The doors opened and Paul turned to the left. As they walked down the hall, a jolt of fear shot through Julie at every door they neared. They'd pass a door and Julie's dread increased knowing she was that much closer to his room. Paul stopped. Julie's heart pounded.
"I've an idea," said Mrs. Anderson. "Paul, you go in and talk to him. Julie can listen and muster up some courage."
"Great idea." She was glad of any suggestion that delayed her having to face Robert.
Paul propped open the door to Robert's room. "Hey Bob, ya in here or have ya escaped?"
"I want out of here."
"Are they mistreating ya?" Paul stood by the foot of the bed. "Making ya take your pills and stay in bed?"
"Not funny. Trade places?"
"Normally the thought of spendin' all week in bed havin' gorgeous women look after me would be very appealin'. But since you're the courageous leader of our gang, I'll let you do it."
"Friends. Who needs'em?"
Paul laughed. "When ya gettin' out?"
The sarcastic tone in Robert's voice dropped. "Not goin' back to Shore for a bit."
"What'd you do?" Paul crossed his arms.
"Colins found out I dropped outta Westland and revoked my probation. Going back inside." After a moment's pause, he added, "Gee, with luck, maybe they'll give me Mike's cell."
Paul paced across the floor at the foot of the bed. "Why the fuck did ya quit Westland?"
"I had no choice. I've missed too much school. Carl was bitchin' about work. My love life…well it sucked. So I go do a couple'a months, get this fuckin' thing done, and then I'm a free man."
"Free to do what?" Paul stopped and glared at his friend.
"Don't know. Stuff. No school, no work, no probation officer, I can do whatever I wanna."
Paul hit the end of the bed then pointed at Robert. "This is the stupidest thing you've done."
"I'm tired of walkin' around like I'm on eggs. Everyone's just waitin' for me to screw up so they can look down at the pathetic kid from Shore. I don't need that shit. I'm gonna need a job when I get out."
Paul ran his fingers through his hair. "Why?"
"I quit."
After two flustered attempts at speaking, Paul blurted, "I am so gonna walk over there and beat…why?"
"I'm sick and tired of Carl. Never, ever, did anythin' right by that man. He's always criticizin', complainin' and yellin'. Forget it. I don't need that shit."
Paul took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "What happened between you and Julie? I thought ya…you know."
To Julie, it seemed an eternity before Robert answered. She clenched and unclenched her fists and fought to keep her breathing calm.
Robert's voice was low and sad. "I've no idea. We went out Saturday night. Things got heavy. Sunday, she wouldn't talk to me."
"What'd you do?"
"Made love to her."
As Julie's stomach sank, she heard her mother gasp, but she couldn't turn and look at her.
Robert continued, "We'd talked about it. She said she didn't think she was ready. I don't know why it happened, it just did. I tried to talk to her about it, but she got her message of get lost across, so I moved out. Man, I…." The rustle of the bedsheets muffled his words.
Paul glanced at the other three empty beds then back at his friend and waited for him to speak. "Shit, I wish I could turn back the clock and make that night go away. Even though it was the best night of my life. I hurt her and I'd give up everything not to have done that."
"Maybe you just need to talk to her." Paul stared towards the hall. "I'm sure her parents would let you move back."
"I really liked livin' in Westland. It's so quiet. You should see Julie's family. Nobody's hittin' anybody. Nobody is screamin' or cryin'. Nothin' like Shore where the guy next-door rapes his daughter, or old lady Bonners shoots up the bar on Lexin. Gang wars under streetlights in shoppin' center parkin' lots. There's always a horn bein' blown, or a siren screechin' somewhere. We live in a lousy part of town. It's no wonder everyone thinks we're garbage."
Paul sat on the edge of the bed and hit his friend's foot. "Yea, we do, but you were tryin' to do somethin' about that."
"Nothin' I've done is gonna matter. The guys don't care. Their feelings have been numbed by where they live. There'll always be rich people and there'll always be poor people. For some reason, we get to be the poor people."
"What about the guys?"
"Handin' over my leadership. I tried to stop a gang war that everyone else wanted. They didn't care if they got killed. If they died, they wouldn't have to face themselves in the morning. I'm no good as a leader if I won't listen to what my gang is sayin'."
Paul jumped off the bed and resumed pacing. He scratched his head then flung his hands up. "What about your dreams? We've talked about what ya wanted to do. You're always tellin' us to go for our dreams. You're always tellin' us just cause we're Shore don't mean we don't got dreams. Ya keep sayin' that someone's dreams is what keeps'im alive. What about your dreams?"
"Don't got any. Not no more."
"I can't handle this. I gotta go." Paul walked out to the hall then paused next to Julie and her mother. He rubbed his forehead. "I've never seen him like this. He's so down. If he goes back in, he probably won't come out alive."
Julie wiped her eyes and blew her nose.
Mrs. Anderson placed her hand on Paul's arm. "He sounds like someone who's feeling very sorry for himself, which is understandable considering what he's been through. Come on. I'll buy you a coffee."
"He sounds to me like someone who needs a hug." Julie stepped into the room.
Robert stood next to the window. Julie had the distinct impression he was savouring the remaining moments of his freedom. She kissed him on the cheek. "I'm sorry."
He turned his head, glanced at her, looked down for a moment then continued looking out the window.
"I said I'm sorry. What more do you want?"
"Nothin' from ya." Rober
t's tone was ice-cold anger.
Julie stumbled back stunned from the hardness in his voice. She'd expected him to forgive her. To love her again.
"I put my guard down, and ya hit me with a clean hard shot." His brow darkened and the muscles in his neck bulged.
Reacting before thinking, Julie shoved Robert. "I fell in love with you, damn you! I tried not to. Did the fact that you kept telling me you couldn't love me stop me? No, I'm too stupid for that. I fell for you anyway."
Needing to control his anger, Robert crossed the room and settled back into bed. He wanted to yell and scream. She'd hurt him and he was furious. He clenched his fists. "Ya aren't the only one who cared. I told ya I care for ya more than anyone else. I tried to be up-front. I don't know what I'm capable of as far as a relationship goes. I tried tellin' ya what I felt Saturday night. I didn't mean to make love to ya." He closed his eyes and trembled.
"I've wanted to apologize since Sunday." Robert locked his gaze onto hers. "I'm sorry for what I did. Ya looked so beautiful, and the way ya danced was so sensual that my emotions just overwhelmed me. When ya wouldn't talk to me, I figured ya were really pissed. I didn't mean to hurt ya. I'd give anything to erase that night."
Julie sat on the edge of the bed. "Hold me, please."
Robert wrapped his arms around her. She trembled at the touch of his embrace. "You've got it all wrong. It's all my fault. I wanted you to make love to me. I needed you. You said you needed to be loved by someone, so did I. I needed someone."
"What are ya talking about?" He slid his hand along her back. "Your family loves ya."
Julie rested her head on his chest. "No, I mean a grown-up relationship. All my life people have only thought of me as a brain. No guy ever told me I was beautiful. When Christopher began liking me, I was so taken. Here's this big, good-looking jock who liked me. Now I know he only dated me because he wanted another conquest.
"Then you came along. This tough guy from North Shore. You turned out to be the most compassionate person I've met. You weren't after me just for a quick…you know. You actually want to be with me. Don't ever think I want to forget Saturday night. That was the most wonderful night of my life."
Dancing in Circles (Circles Trilogy) Page 18
