by Grey, Aspen
I slid out of Sasha with the urge to claim him, and as he came, I threw him onto his back and mounted him with one leg on either side of his chest. I took aim and growled as I let loose.
Cum roared from my cock and rained down on his face, covering his gorgeous looks in my alpha seed.
Soon this will be inside you, my angel. But not yet.
I claimed him with each drop of my cum that landed on his sweet face. He moaned as he finished coming with me, and extended his tongue for my last drops that I milked from my shaft with a tight grip. The pearls of my juices fell onto his tongue and he swallowed for the second time.
My head was spinning. I felt Jace’s hands caress my back and Sasha’s breath against my lower stomach. I was beyond spent. I felt as though I’d run a marathon, and although my cock was still strong between my legs, I knew that I was done for the night.
I slumped down on my bed and felt my angels take their places on either side of me. They were mine now. They were safe, and for that moment before sleep took me, my life was perfect.
Chapter Fourteen
Jace
I lay there lost in my own thoughts like a boat surrounded by a hurricane that was slowly winding down. Hurricane Arnold had blown in with incredible force and I’d been swept away by it despite all of my street instincts telling me to be afraid.
Going home with a John was a big no-no and one of the first rules of the street. You either went to their car, walked to a quiet alley or—and this was rare for Sasha or me—you went to their motel room. This was the way to keep yourself as safe as possible, and you always, always had a lookout. Going home with Arnold broke every rule in my book. In fact, it tore up my book, took those pieces, put them in a shredder, then took the shredded pieces and lit them on fire.
Of course, Arnold wasn’t a John, he was different. There was no way to be sure, but that was what my nose was telling me. This was not only a man that was different from all the others we’d been running into during our time on the street, but he was also someone to be trusted, relied upon. After all, he had saved our lives.
It was strange to think that only hours ago Sasha and I had been facing off in a dark alley with an alpha who’d been preying on San Diego street boys and somehow managed to evade capture by the police. What would have happened to us if Arnold hadn’t showed up? I knew the answer.
We would be dead.
His panther form was astounding. An all-white coat like that was beyond rare among shifters, and from the little I’d seen of him fighting, it was clear that he was a total badass. And what about those good looks of his?
Brad Pitt in Se7en, back when he was engaged to Gwyneth Paltrow, I think….
Either way, he was astonishingly good looking with his chiseled face covered in light stubble and dirty blond hair that seemed to look good no matter what. If he wasn’t a police detective, he could definitely have made a living as a model or an actor.
And he wants me.
I shook my head.
No, he wants us.
That was the wildest part of all of this. Somehow, my fated mate was also Sasha’s fated mate, and somehow, both of us were okay with that.
What was more incredible was the way I’d been able to open up to Sasha and him to me. It was so obvious now that there had always been something going on between us that we simply didn’t allow ourselves to recognize, but with Arnold’s arrival and our near-death experience, it was impossible to ignore now.
I loved Sasha. I really did, and it was beyond the brotherly/protector role I’d played for him on the street. It was more than that. Sasha was wounded when I met him, and he still was, but so was I and maybe that was one of the reasons why I loved him like I did. I saw myself in him and even though he’d gone through a lot and done some questionable things in his past, he was doing his best to survive and live a moral life despite his line of work.
He didn’t use, he didn’t lie, he didn’t cheat, he didn’t do drugs. He did what I did—whatever it took to survive without fucking anybody else over. Sometimes that meant we’d have to take some kicks, but that was life. He was down on himself more than he needed to be. There was something sparkling and shining at the core of Sasha and everyone deserved a second chance.
I moaned and rolled over and reached out for Arnold, but I found the bed beside me empty. I opened my eyes and saw that not only was he gone, but Sasha was too. Their scents were still fresh in the bedroom, which meant they had just recently gone. I propped myself up on one elbow and called out.
“Arnold? Sasha?”
No response.
I looked around the room. The door to the attached bathroom was open but the light was off and I didn’t pick up any scent from that direction. It seemed as though both of them had left the room completely.
I got to my feet and, still naked, walked to the door and peered down the hall. Their scents led towards the stairs, and I felt a sudden sense of nervousness come over me.
Why did they leave together?
It was more of my instincts—the idea that I could be abandoned, but of course that was ridiculous. This was Arnold’s house. He wasn’t going to leave me by leaving me in his bedroom. No, there was something going on. I followed my nose and made my way downstairs. That’s when I heard the crying.
Chapter Fifteen
Sasha
I sat in the shadows of the veranda, the sliding door cracked behind me, my arms wrapped around my knees as tears streamed down my face onto the tiles at my feet.
Worthless.
Terrible.
Home wrecker.
You don’t deserve love. Not after what you’ve done.
Maybe it was my post-orgasmic hormones and maybe it was just Arnold’s overwhelming presence and the emotions he and Jace brought out in me, but something had kicked me over the edge after I woke up needing to pee.
I’d had an arm draped over Arnold’s strong body and somehow the first thing I thought about when I looked over at his gorgeous sleeping face was Jedrik.
When I thought back on the person I was with him, I felt sick to my stomach. I don’t know what it had been, and I’m sure a psychiatrist could trace my issues back to my emotionally manipulative mother and abandonment by my father, but I’d been an absolute nightmare to him and I could never forgive myself.
Every little thing in his life had to be controlled by me, and the more I fell in love with him, the worse I became. I had to know where he was at all times. If another omega even looked at him, I had a fit and it somehow became Jedrik’s fault. I lost my mind and began stalking him, and not in some cute way either. I was angry, vindictive and looking for something, anything I could use on him to get him back with me. That’s how badly I thought I needed him, and when I saw him with not only one omega that wasn’t me, but two, I lost my mind.
I brought men from my gang to his house and they attacked him. It was the dumbest thing I could ever have done, and I knew it even when it was happening. But I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings, the rejection, the fact that I would never be with him again, and as far as I was concerned, if I couldn’t have him, nobody could.
I’d brought misery and violence upon him and his new family, and all of it had culminated in the death of the men I used to steal cars with. Cash and his crew. Of course, the world was probably a better place without them, but it was all because of me that it had all happened.
“Goddamn it,” I hissed, biting down on my knee so hard I almost drew blood. “I don’t deserve him…”
“Don’t deserve who?”
The voice startled me and I jumped and turned around to see Arnold standing at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes filled with concern.
“Oh, no,” I groaned, letting my head sink between my legs. I couldn’t look at him. His eyes were too kind and I didn’t deserve his affection.
Worthless.
Home wrecker.
Psycho.
Arnold didn’t know how horrible of a person I was. If he did,
fated mates or not, he’d cast me aside and he’d be right to do it. It was better that he and Jace went on together. They’d be happy and Jace could have his children. They could start a family and I’d go on surviving like I always had.
“Never mind,” I said as I fought back more tears and wiped my cheeks with my hand. Arnold’s scent was too much for me to handle as I sat there consumed by my emotions. Jace was upstairs sleeping, and I didn’t want any of this to reach him. My problems would never be anyone else’s again. I had to stop doing this to people. Everywhere I went I caused nothing but problems.
“Well, I can see that’s not true,” Arnold said as he walked towards me. His scent reached out like a strong hand wrapping its fingers around me. I felt my panther cry out for me to run, to take myself away from this perfect home that I would inevitably destroy and leave Jace and Arnold to live the rest of their lives together, happily, without any of my drama. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong? See if I can fix it for you?”
“No,” I muttered as he grew closer. “You can’t fix it. You can’t fix me. I’m broken. I’m awful.”
“You’re not awful, Sasha,” he told me. “And no one is beyond fixing.”
“I am.”
“That’s not true,” he continued, kneeling down behind me. “And you know how I know that?”
“How?” I asked him.
“Because I’ve been watching you,” he told me. “Both of you. You and Jace.”
What?
I turned and looked back at him over my shoulder, trying to understand.
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw you both one night when I was out looking for clues on the killer,” he explained softly. “It was a week ago and I think I knew back then.”
“Knew what?” I asked, playing stupid. He frowned at me like I’d just asked a dumb question—which I had. I lowered my eyes.
“I kept an eye on you both,” he continued. “Knowing that the killer was out there and that nothing could happen to you. And you know what I saw? I saw goodness in both of you. You aren’t trash. You aren’t broken. You aren’t like those other boys working the streets. You’re different. You just don’t see it yet.”
“I’ve done terrible things,” I told him. “Terrible things to people I loved.”
“None of us are perfect, Sasha. And there is always room for redemption.”
He reached out and put a hand on me, and that’s when it happened. Panic flooded my body and I shifted instantly. My legs propelled me into the backyard and I leapt forward over the back fence and landed easily in the street behind.
Worthless.
Broken.
Home wrecker.
Get away from them!
I ran. I ran and I ran and I ran until my legs were burning and my paws were torn and bleeding, and then I kept running. I didn’t even know where I was going, but it didn’t matter. As long as I was away from Jace and Arnold then nothing bad could happen to them, and that was all that mattered.
Chapter Sixteen
Arnold
I was just about to shift when I heard Jace’s voice from behind me.
“What’s going on?” he asked. I wasn’t sure if he’d seen Sasha shift and leap over the fence and run away, and part of me wanted to chase after him, but another part of me knew that he needed time and there was nothing I could say at that moment to make him feel better.
“Jace,” I said as I looked at him. “Sasha just…had a bit of a breakdown. He shifted and ran off.”
“Shit,” Jace scowled, racing forward and preparing to follow after him. But as he reached me, I stopped him, placing a hand on his chest.
“No,” I told him firmly. “Not now.”
“No?!” he replied indignantly. “What are you talking about, no? I have to go after him.”
“He’s beyond speaking right now,” I replied, shaking my head. “This is something he must get through on his own. Anything we say now will just make things worse. And he will be back.”
“What are you talking about?” he scowled. His face was red. He was angry and still on the verge of shifting, but he was listening.
“Sasha is doubting himself,” I explained. “And I’m sure you know why. The story of him and his ex, Jedrik?”
Jace scowled and nodded. Having spent so much time together they must have known all of each other’s secrets by now.
“He feels horrible about that.”
“We all have our problems,” I sighed, leaning against the countertop. “But we all deserve to be happy. Well—almost all of us. And I don’t think Sasha is one of those horrible people who deserve to suffer for their entire lives.”
“You seem to know a lot about us,” Jace replied. I could hear the tiniest hint of skepticism in his voice that I’d expect from him. Out of my two angels, Jace was the tougher one, the more streetwise one.
“I’ve watched you both for about a week,” I told him. “I told this to Sasha.”
“Really…”
“I had to keep an eye on you,” I told him. “While the killer was out there. If I hadn’t, who knows what would have happened to you that night.”
Jace mulled over my words for a moment then shrugged.
“Well, I guess it won’t matter now anyway,” he replied. “What with Sasha running away on us.”
“No,” I shook my head. “He will be back. We are his fated mates. He will return.”
Jace stepped over to me and I took his hand as he laid his head down on my chest. “I sure hope so, Arnold.”
Chapter Seventeen
Sasha
I left Serra Mesa behind and headed for the coast. But I wasn’t going to Mission Beach, I was headed for Pacific Beach. I had to see him. I had to.
This is a bad idea.
My thoughts fought with each other like two sides of a civil war.
Shut up! You have to see him!
My paws scraped against pavement as I raced through a dark alley, dashing out of the way of a garbage truck.
You’re going to make things worse!
The moonlight shone down above me as I streaked across the city, passing the streets where I used to work, seeing other boys on the corner doing their thing. One of them saw me as I flickered past and I saw his eyes go wide as I vanished around a corner.
Just go back to them…
My heart was pounding. I hadn’t run like this in a long time.
No! You have to pay for what you did!
I thought about Jace back at Arnold’s house and the security of his home, how beautiful it was and how comforting his warm scent was. It was a sharp contrast to the smells of the city as I ran. Trash, car exhaust, weed and booze, cigarette smoke and the scents of other omegas, betas and alphas.
This will only cause more problems!
That was probably true, but I simply wasn’t capable of stopping myself. It was like my legs were pistons on a train whose engine was roaring, flaming hot with coal and steam bursting out everywhere as it barreled down the tracks towards its destination. I had to get there. I had to see Jedrik before I’d be able to move on.
Tears peeled away from my eyes as I ran, and as I closed in on his place, tucked away in its wonderful location in Pacific Beach, I felt a strange sensation come over me. It was familiar, but also terrifying at the same time. I’d shared many good times with Jedrik before I went crazy on him, and those images filled my mind as I slowed down in the alley behind his house.
I had thought that only the horrible memories would be in my mind when I arrived, but it was actually the complete opposite. Was it because I wanted him again?
No!
No, that wasn’t it at all. It was because I wanted Arnold now. I was reminding myself that I was capable of more than just the horrible things I’d done to Jedrik. At least, I was trying to get myself to believe that.
I shifted as I came up to his place. He lived above his woodworking studio, but you had to go through a gated door to get to the stairs. It didn
’t matter though. I saw the windows to his bedroom were open. All I had to do was stand here and he would smell me.
Please don’t freak out, I thought as I clenched my hands tightly at my sides and looked around to make sure I was alone. Just don’t freak out!
After a moment, I picked up Jedrik’s scent, slowly sinking out of the cracked window above. As I’d been running and was covered in sweat, my scent would be much stronger and easier to pick up. He would have caught it the moment I entered the alley, and I smelled his now as he was out of bed and on his way downstairs.
Please don’t let this be the biggest mistake of my life.
The door opened and Jedrik stepped outside, wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a white tank top. He was still enormous, thick with muscles and slightly furry with black curls dripping from his head. His smell, salted caramel, was comfortingly familiar, but his eyes were skeptical.
“Sasha?” he said slowly. “What are you doing here? I thought we agreed to never see each other again.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but that’s when the tears really started to fall. I stammered and choked the word from my lips.
“Tell—tell me I’m good enough!” I gasped, collapsing onto my knees before him.
“Sasha!” he said with concern as he stepped quickly over to me and bent down to my level. “Sasha, what’s wrong?”
“Tell me I’m good enough,” I repeated, barely able to speak. “I feel so awful about what I did to you! I was such a horrible person, and now—now I’ve met someone and, and…”
“And you think you’re going to repeat your mistakes with him,” he said simply.
You always did know what I was thinking.
I looked up at him and nodded through blurry eyes. Back when we were together, this is when he would have leaned forward and wrapped me up in his arms. I didn’t expect that now, of course, nor did I want it in that way, but I did need something from him, and I hoped beyond all hope that I hadn’t made a mistake by coming here.
