by Jillian Neal
“I intend to keep it safely stored on my phone to make sure you don’t pull any shit with Summer and that we get to keep J.J. the entire time all of us are enjoying Frontier Days in Cheyenne, ma’am. Now, why don’t you and I mosey on down to Brantley’s truck and get his stuff.”
While Mrs. Preston spit and sputtered out some nonsensical argument, Austin smirked. “Truth be told, we don’t do a lot of moseying where I come from, but I’d heard it was a common practice down there in Dallas, so I’ll follow you.”
An hour later, Austin was mopping pancake syrup off of J.J.’s hands. He’d devoured the eggs and pancakes Summer had cut into tiny bite sized pieces for him. Tired of debating his own motives and his own gut, Austin decided to go with it. He wanted Summer, not for a night or two, not for the next two weeks, but for a lifetime … maybe. If he was going to convince her to be with him, he had to vanquish his own doubts.
He recalled his cousin Brock and his older brother Luke harassing him back in early February. They’d been quick to call him on the fact that he didn’t want to leave the ranch and go back on the circuit. He’d all but decided not to go until Minton called, and just like every season before, quitting before he gave it his all and tried his damnedest to get that PBR belt felt like he was letting down Max. He owed Max that buckle. If she’d stick with him through Vegas, he’d give it up. He’d pay back his debt to Max and … and what? There was so much he had to figure out. First and foremost, he needed to know exactly what kind of life Miss Summer Sanchez really wanted.
Studying J.J., he tried to figure out if he was really ready for a built-in family. Reminding himself that if he wanted Summer, J.J. was part of the deal, he grinned. To his own surprise, he was rather pleased with that portion of the deal. Geez, as soon as he introduced her to them, Luke and Brock and all of his brothers and sisters would torment him for his previous position on women, that one was just as good as another as long as she was curved in all the right places and didn’t have too much baggage. Yeah, okay, so he was an asshole. A guy could change, right?
“I don’t think Brant’s feeding him enough when he’s with him,” Summer fussed. “And my idiot mother-in-law tries to give him shit like sliced olives and something called quinoa. It’s disgusting. I tried it once at her house. She gets mad when J.J. won’t eat it and won’t let him have anything else.” She sighed as she cut up the rest of her own egg to give J.J.
“Hey, you eat that. I’m stuffed. He can have mine.” Austin quickly mimicked Summer’s movements with one of his own eggs and provided it to J.J., who readily consumed it. The kid didn’t look like he’d missed any meals, though Austin himself wouldn’t eat olives or quinoa. And while he certainly wouldn’t give something fit for a bird to a baby, he assumed J.J. was healthy enough. He was obviously much happier with his mama than his wicked grandmother. Kid knew what was up. No shock there.
When the little guy was yawning more than he was eating, Austin paid the bill and guided them out to his truck. Thankful he’d gotten the quad-cab, he helped Summer up into the passenger seat after she’d buckled J.J. into the car seat in the back.
“How exactly am I going to get my truck back?” Summer’s grin said she was pleased he’d insisted on their new driving arrangements, though she was still feigning irritation.
“Let’s make a deal on that,” he carefully began his negotiations. Her brow furrowed, but she settled in and moved a little closer to him. As he backed out of the parking lot, he gave a nod to the great city of Cody and headed out on Sheridan Avenue.
“A deal on getting my truck back?”
“I’m somewhat willing to negotiate,” he allowed.
“So, basically you’re taking me prisoner?”
“I prefer the term girlfriend to prisoner.”
Rolling her eyes, she sighed. “What’s your deal, Austin?”
“I get the next two weeks to convince you that what we’ve got going on here is something big, bigger than I really ever even believed was a possibility. By the night I win the Cheyenne buckle, if I don’t measure up as the guy you want taking care of you, I’ll drive you back out here to your truck.” I won’t actually let you get in it and drive away, but no need to mention that right now. “But if I show you that I can be the guy you want beside you, in bed with you, taking care of anything you need, taking care of J.J., you come back to the ranch with me. I’ll buy you a new truck when we get there, one that actually runs without jumper cables and a prayer.”
The frantic beat of his heart timed the silence as it extended between them. She stared out the window, then back at J.J., then down at her hands, and gnawed on her lip, but didn’t answer. Give her a minute. You’ve been pushy enough. He almost missed the turn onto 20. Nerves he was only accustomed to feeling just before he climbed in the chutes ate at him.
“It’s a long trip, darlin’. Six or seven hours, plus however many times you make me stop so you can pee. Go by a lot faster if you’ll talk.”
She finally turned her face in his direction. Terror fractured those beautiful eyes that drove him crazy. “I’ve had a kid. I’m sorry I have to pee a lot,” she vaulted, using her irritation to cover the emotion.
“Hey, what’s wrong? I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No one’s ever made me feel the way you make me feel, Austin. I don’t know what this is, but you’re right, it’s something special. If it were just me, I’d jump at the chance to see where we might end up, but it’s not. I don’t want a rodeo hero. I don’t want J.J. growing up never knowing where his home is because he’s always on the road. Before I let someone in his life, I have to know that they’re not going to become a part of it and have him get attached and then they disappear on him. I saw my dad four weeks a year, and when I was with him and he was riding, so I still never saw him. They asked me to say something at his funeral. What the hell was I supposed to say? The only things I remembered were the women he got to babysit me so he could go to yet another rodeo show, and then how he ruined my entire life just before he died.”
“I am not your father, Summer, so let me make you another deal. I got nothing but time between Cheyenne and Vegas. Minton might want me to ride at one or two smaller venues in Oklahoma, but that’s not a requirement as long as I stay in the top 5 in Cheyenne. So, let’s go have Frontier Day fun. I’ll ride, I’ll win, and then I’m done ‘til November. You and J.J. come with me to Vegas, let me have my chance at the title, and I’ll walk away. I’ll be done forever.”
“No, I will not let you give up the rodeo for me. You’ll just end up resenting me and then hating me for it. You’re at the top of your career, and you want to stick with it.”
“I want you. Come on, Summer, give this a try for two weeks. That’s all I’m asking. Let’s figure out what we have here. It’s too good to let go without really trying it out, and I’d never resent you for anything. I told you, I live by my gut. If I walk away from the circuit, it will be on my terms. No resentment. No looking back. Two weeks won’t cost us anything, will it? Might gain us a whole lot.”
Another stretch of silence. He took her hesitant nod as a good sign though his heart still couldn’t locate a steady beat. “I just always swore I’d never fall for a rodeo hero.”
“What kind of hero do you want, darlin’? Not Brant, I hope.”
“No, not Brant. I never wanted Brant.”
Now, they were getting somewhere. Before Austin could ask how the hell she’d ended up with Preston’s ring on her finger, she continued. “I want a real hero, the everyday kind of hero. You know, the guys that when you see them with their wives they look excited to be with her. Proud of her even. They hold her hand or put their arm around her, the way you do me. And they listen to her when she talks. Think about her when they aren’t with her. The kind of man that gets up and works hard for his family and doesn’t complain. Then he comes home and throws the ball with his kids and plays with them. You know, one who’s there for his kids no matter what they need and who doesn’t lose h
is temper with them. Takes his wife to the hospital when she goes into labor and holds her hand the whole time, even if she’s screaming and cursing at him from the pain. A cowboy that’s happy being at home on the ranch instead of in a bar. One that’s the same person on Saturday night that he is Sunday morning when he goes to church. That kind of hero.”
“Look at me, Summer.”
She lifted her eyes to his. The rising sun reflected the distant mountain ranges in her eyes. Her dreams were painted in their majesty.
“I come from a long line of those kind of heroes. I can be that for you.”
“I don’t know, Austin.”
“Give me a chance.”
“And you think we’ll know in two weeks? That’s all the time it will take?”
“I told you, your whole damn life can change in eight seconds. I already know what I want. You give me two weeks, I’ll prove to you what kind of hero I can be.”
“I’m in it now, I guess, so all right, two weeks, but you know Frontier Days are really only ten days long, right?”
“Yeah, I know, but I’m giving myself an extra few in case I miss something in the first ten.”
“Fine, just please don’t hurt me, Austin.”
“I would never hurt you, honey, ever. You hold all the cards. This is your call. Fourteen days from now, you tell me where we’re going from Cheyenne.”
“I thought guys were supposed to be commitment-phobic,” she huffed. A little of the tension broke, and Austin chuckled.
“I learned a long, long time ago that life’s too damn short not to do whatever makes you happy. You, sweetness, make me happier than I’ve ever been. I’m going for it. I’m a bull rider for Christ’s sake. I don’t do anything half-way.”
“Tell me something you’ve never told anyone else.” Her sudden demand alarmed him momentarily. He had two weeks to prove himself. He couldn’t screw anything up.
“Okay, let me think. I like to run my mouth so I don’t know if there’s something I’ve never told anyone.”
“Well, then tell me something that scares you or is important to you. You want me to fall in love with you, go back to your family’s ranch and everything, and you want me to decide on all of that in two weeks, you better start talking, cowboy.”
“Okay, uh,” he glanced her way. This is your chance, Camden. Might as well hang on and go for the ride. “I guess I could tell you about the worst day of my life. Would that work?”
“You got thrown didn’t you? Almost got yourself killed or something? I don’t like to think about that.”
The things she said cut him to the quick. When she spoke without calculation, when she wasn’t insistent on the plan she’d obviously come up with long before fate had seen fit to throw them together, when she was raw in her honesty, he felt her love, even if neither of them were quite ready to admit that just yet.
Lacing their fingers together he lifted her hand and brushed a kiss along her knuckles. “I’m fine, sugar. I’ve been thrown more times than I can count, but what I’m about to tell you has nothing to do with a bull. How about I tell you this story and then you tell me how the hell you ended up with the likes of Brantley Preston.”
Her forced smirk was sadder than any frown he’d ever seen. “So, we’re both gonna start with the worst days of our lives then,” she sighed.
“Don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.” He’d gladly take the out. If so much wasn’t at stake, he’d never have leapt right into this.
“I want to. I want to know everything about you. Maybe then I can figure out how the hell I got here in your truck, after having the most amazing sex of my entire life, actually considering getting in a relationship at the worst possible time I could ever think of.”
More than pleased with all of that, he smirked. “Most amazing, huh?” He chuckled. “I’m just getting started, sweetness. I have so much more planned for you. Every single night for the next two weeks, I’m gonna show you what it can be like between us. I’ll keep you so full, so satisfied you never want to walk away.”
“Cocky much?” The tremble of her body shook through his groin like an earthquake. She could chastise all she wanted, but she couldn’t quite hide how much that turned her on.
“Pretty sure you know I’m not stating anything that ain’t a fact, darlin’.”
Her face tinged that sunset pink that drove him wild, and she bit her lips together to keep from laughing.
J.J.’s excited gasp and cooing from the back had both of them glancing to check on him. Two bobtail deer, a buck and a doe, were racing along the side of the road. Summer beamed. “You see the deer, sweet boy? Aren’t they pretty?”
J.J. readily answered his mother in a babbled string of syllables that made Austin grin as he slowed the truck. If the deer decided to cross the road, he didn’t want to hit them. After a few more leaps, they turned back towards the mountains and sprinted away.
“Bye, bye, bye, bye,” rang from the backseat. Austin and Summer laughed together.
When the little man quieted down, Summer turned back to Austin. “Thought you were gonna tell me stories.”
He turned to stare at her, not certain where to begin. “Not a pretty story, Summer. You sure you want to hear this?”
She took his hand again and kept it in hers this time. “I have a lot of ugly stories, too.”
Nodding, Austin drew a deep breath, buying himself a few seconds more. “Uh, do you remember me telling you about my friend that was Hopi-Pueblo?”
“Yeah, but what do you mean he was?”
“Well, there’s a segue if I’ve ever been given one.” The road before them was empty and extended on for miles and miles. He allowed himself one quick blink, trying to rid the images from his mind. Just tell her the story and be done with it. You gotta let me go. Better things heading your way, man. She’s sitting right beside you. Austin’s chest clenched. Max’s voice echoed in his own mind again. It used to only happen when he rode, or on Max’s birthdate or anniversary of his death when Austin forced himself to visit the grave. It seemed to be happening daily lately. “Here goes, I guess. My parents got me a truck on my sixteenth birthday. We needed another one on the ranch. Luke was off at State and needed his truck there. We were short one.”
Summer nodded her head, studying him closely. Summoning courage from the soft scent of her teasing his nostrils, he went on. “Anyway, Max, Jackson, and I had been crazy about the rodeo ever since we were little kids. Max was better than either Jackson or me, but we told each other bullshit stories about all being as famous as Lane, or Tuff, or your old man.”
Summer’s jaw tightened but she didn’t speak.
“So, uh, we rode the green horses and the calves on Camden Ranch all the time. Got a Bucky when I was thirteen and we tried our damnedest to throw each other in the dirt with that. Attended every rodeo we could con somebody into taking us to, rode the practice bulls whenever we could. We were all in young rodeo in school. We grew up driving trucks all over the ranch, so turning sixteen wasn’t a big deal like it is for city-kids, I guess.” He shrugged, trying to bandage the unhealable wound with details.
“What happened, Austin?” Her voice was soft, a soothing balm to the burn in his chest.
“Terry Don West was giving practice sessions before a rodeo in Broken Bow ‘bout three days after my birthday, then he was gonna ride. Max had been invited because he’d won the title for our high school that year. We were all set to go, but our parents forbid us. Said it was way too far away for us to go alone. Broken Bow’s about two hours from our ranch, give or take time it takes you to get to I-80. But we were sixteen, I had a truck, and nobody was gonna keep us away. Max was gonna ride come hell or high water. I swear if he’d lived he would’a had the title a half-dozen times by now. He was that good.” He strangled over that admittance.
Summer squeezed his hand, leaned up in her seat, and brushed a kiss over his cheek. “You don’t have to keep going.”
“No, I want to
tell you. You wanted something I don’t talk about. This is it,” he sighed. “We snuck out and took off for Broken Bow. It was pouring down rain, but like I said, we were dumbass teenagers. Made it all the way ‘til I could see the arena. We were almost there.”
Summer managed a single nod and squeezed his hand tighter.
“Uh, anyway, you know where this is heading. Guy named Peter Lynchfield had way too many shots and ran away from a fight he’d started at a bar nearby. He flew through the red light at 70 miles an hour and t-boned me. Max was killed on impact, so was Lynchfield.”
“Oh my God, Austin, I’m so sorry.”
Swallowing down the raw regret that haunted his entire adult life, he nodded. “Yeah, me too.”
“So, when you ride, you ride for Max? That’s what your nightmare was about.”
He still wasn’t accustomed to the fact that she seemed able to read the things written on his soul. Given that it’d only been three days, he supposed that was to be expected. “Yeah. I have them a lot. I have to get that buckle in Vegas. I owe Max a title, you know?”
“Max was Hopi?” She managed the emotion-strangled question.
“Yeah, his grandparents stayed on the reservation. His mom got a job teaching at Pleasant Glen Elementary School, and his dad worked as a ranch hand at a few ranches near ours. They moved up there to give him a better life, a good education and everything.”
“Did Max ever tell you the Pueblo Blessing?”
Austin tried to recall. He and Jackson used to sit for hours listening to Max’s dad tell them Pueblo legends. They loved it. “The one about holding on?”
She nodded.
“Yeah, I heard it a few times, then they read it at his funeral. It was on the program thing. I still have my copy somewhere at my house.”
“I spent most every summer with my Grandmother on the Zuni reservation. We used to say it together every day before supper. Ever since Brant sued for full-custody, I’ve been saying it to myself. ‘Hold onto what is good even if it is a handful of dirt. Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do, even if it is a long way from here.’”
