Her friends might pretend it didn't matter—for a while. But after the news got out and the reporters started hounding her, and she was let go from her job, and her family disowned her—well, soon enough everyone else would fade away, too. Emily would be alone, never able to blend in again.
I'm going to wipe away everything and everyone that came before me.
Cade's words echoed in Emily's head like a song she'd heard played over and over.
She knew he'd meant them in a sexual sense—in her experience, alphas meant just about everything sexually—but for a moment, Emily closed her eyes and allowed herself to imagine what her life would be like if Cade could make good on that promise in all aspects of her life.
If Emily could start over...if, one day, she woke up without a past, fresh and new, her future a blank slate…and if on that day the first thing she saw the intense, handsome alpha who looked into her eyes like she was the only woman who ever was…
The fantasy filled Emily's mind, crowding out her pain and sending the last of the tension in her shoulders away with it.
It was a beautiful thought…but it wasn't real.
Emily had to keep reminding herself of that as she dressed and finally emerged from the bathroom.
She found Cade gazing out the window at the front of the house, even though it was a moonless night and there was nothing to see. Even in profile, he was big enough to fill up nearly all the space.
There was something about his bearing, the languid way his arms hung at his sides, perhaps, or the tilt of his head …and Emily knew in an instant exactly what he'd been doing outside.
The same thing she’d been doing.
When Cade turned to face her, his eyes betrayed a hunger that burned even more intensely than before. A connection arced between them, a spark that was almost tangible, like the buzz of a high-tension power line.
Emily had never felt this with Sloan.
And she knew with total certainty that if she tried to make a run for it now, her body wouldn't let her get more than a foot or two out the door.
Emily wrapped her arms around herself tightly, trying to hide the truth from Cade. "Where would you like for me to sleep? On the floor, or one of these chairs, or—"
"In my bed."
"Oh, okay," Emily stammered. "Then where will you sleep?"
Cade didn't bother answering. He didn't need to.
Emily's body welcomed the possibility, a rush of slick dampening her pants and her nipples tightening to an ache. But before she could try to slow the speeding train headed for a collision in his bed, Cade beat her to it.
"It's a warm night," he said in a casual tone that belied the near-feral lust in his eyes. "I can sleep out in the bed of my truck."
The wake of conflicting emotions that followed his words was so overwhelming that all Emily could manage was a whispered "Thank you."
"Don't thank me," Cade said, opening the linen closet and pulling out a wool blanket. "It's just for tonight. Once the wind shifts back in from the west, the nights will get colder again, and I won't be content to sleep outside."
"Of course," Emily mumbled, heat stealing over her face with the knowledge that he wasn't worried about the temperature, and his contentment didn't hinge on a warm bed but rather who was in it.
But the thought didn't make her panic the way it had even a few hours before. So far, Cade had kept his word about everything. He hadn't touched her in anger or in lust. He'd provided her food, shelter, and the luxury of a bath.
And now he was giving her plenty of warning.
Which meant that the dilemma posed by what he was offering would keep until tomorrow, when Emily's body would be rested and refreshed and her mind would be clear.
She would give herself until then to figure out what to do about the terribly uncomfortable comfort offered by an alpha she'd never asked for, who'd tricked her into drinking the poison of hope.
Chapter Eight
When Emily got into Cade's bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, she was prepared to wait a long time for sleep to come.
Falling into bed exhausted was nothing new. The chores at Sloan's house never seemed to be done, but even on those days when he'd run her ragged washing and cooking and cleaning, she still struggled to relax enough to fall asleep.
Somehow, dealing with the knowledge that not only was Cade only a few yards away under the stars in his truck, but he had gone there willingly so that she could have the comfort of his bed, only made her feel worse.
Emily didn't know why, but for some reason, Cade's kindness and generosity were even more unsettling than Sloan's resentment and anger. The latter caused her brain to get stuck on high alert, always scanning for danger, always anticipating the next threat. But the former…well, Emily wasn't sure exactly why it stirred her up so much, only that it was exquisitely unnerving.
But to her surprise, as she settled into the crisp white cotton sheets and lightweight down comforter and soft pillows in the huge bed, all Emily felt was comfort. The alpha-sized mattress was every bit as huge as Sloan's, but instead of feeling lost as she did on it, she felt right at home.
Maybe it was the faint scent rising from the linens, the same one she'd caught when she was nestled in his arms—earth and pine and fresh wind through the treetops. Without thinking, Emily nuzzled deeper into the pillows to inhale it.
The deeper she breathed Cade's scent, the more relaxed Emily felt. Tension ebbed from her body until she felt detached from it, as though she were drifting weightlessly in a warm sea.
It didn't take long for sleep to steal in and carry her away.
The next time she opened her eyes, the soft, golden light of morning filled the room.
Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes in astonishment, Emily sat up in the bed feeling utterly rested. She hadn't had such a good night's sleep since coming to the Boundarylands.
She looked around the room, taking in the details she'd missed in the dark.
The walls were paneled in a deeply-grained, light-colored wood with inset cabinets. A shelf running high on the walls held a collection of unusual rocks. There were geodes sparkling in shades of purple and yellow, chunks of granite marked with the imprint of millennia-old fossils, and round, perfectly polished river stones.
Funny. Not in a million years would she have pegged the burly alpha as a rock collector. She wondered where he'd found all his specimens...but quickly chided herself for going down that path.
Maybe the less she knew about him, the less likely she was to get attached.
Curiosity about some silly hobby was an indulgence she could hardly afford. Especially when she still hadn't figured out exactly how she felt about Cade.
Though her mind had settled some since last night, there was still a jumbled, confusing knot of thoughts and emotions with Cade at the center. Emily still wasn't sure if she wanted to run, or stay, or jump his bones. On top of all that was the constant worry that Sloan would show up at any second.
Until two months ago, Emily considered her sexual appetite pretty normal. She'd had several long-term relationships that had met her needs but ended amicably when she and her boyfriends drifted apart. The sex had been nice—not especially imaginative, but satisfying. As recently as the fateful night of her friend's wedding, Emily had assumed that she'd meet someone special in the next few years, get married and settle down.
Sloan had taken a sledgehammer to all those plans. Coming into her true nature had brought no joy. She'd experienced all the sexual voraciousness that came with her first heat, but none of the pleasure.
Clawing and fighting to meet her new hormonal demands had been like trying to free herself from the wreckage of an earthquake. Emily couldn't stop, but she never forgot that the man rutting above her was her captor and tormentor.
Now, Emily couldn't imagine going back to date nights that ended in some tipsy foreplay and a quick missionary-style session that lasted only long enough for both partners to get off.
Sex had bec
ome a battle—with Sloan and with herself—and if she never had it again, Emily wouldn't miss it.
Unless it was with Cade.
It was like he was an entirely different species from other men, even from other alphas. The alphas she encountered up in the north and the ones she'd seen coming and going from Evander’s were attractive men. She still had enough objectivity to see that. But she felt nothing for them.
But all Cade had to do was look her in the eyes, and her slick started to flow. Her mouth watered with the desire to take him between her lips. Her pussy ached to be filled. Her hands longed to stroke his silken skin.
Which was a sure way to lose herself and end up trapped here.
What Emily needed was work. She'd slept and healed, and now it was time to occupy her hands.
Despite what Sloan said, she'd never been lazy, but in the last two months, Emily had learned that work could be a kind of medicine, that exhausting herself could numb some of her tumbling thoughts.
Emily threw back the covers and got out of the bed, reaching for the pile of clothes that she'd dropped on the floor. She'd been wearing jeans and a long-sleeved floral cotton blouse when they started the trip to conceal the bruises Sloan had given her the night before, but of course, those were long gone now.
Emily wished she could burn that blouse and wear something cool and light...something that Sloan had never laid eyes on.
But wishes weren't horses, and Emily buttoned the blouse and pulled on her jeans and set out to find some chores.
She didn't know what needed doing, but there were always ways to be useful, whether it was deep-cleaning the kitchen or chopping wood or preserving game or mending clothes.
That was one bright spot in this whole ordeal: the sheer amount of new skills Emily had acquired in the last two months as she learned how to fend for herself in the middle of the wilderness.
Maybe that could even be her way out—she could find a small patch of land somewhere off the Central Road, build herself a little place, and live on her own. She could become the first self-sustaining omega in the Boundarylands.
Emily knew it was just another fantasy, but she let her thoughts drift for another moment. Living by herself would be lonely, sure. And she didn't even want to think about what her monthly heats would be like without an alpha nearby to help her ride them out, but she'd find a way to survive.
Until Sloan found her or some other alpha caught wind of her. Then it would be all over.
Emily stepped out of the bedroom, determined not to ruin the lovely little fantasy world she'd created in her mind by thinking about what would happen when reality bashed down the door.
She was alone in the cabin, but there were some clues to Cade's having been there recently. He had come in from the truck at some point to light the fire in the iron stove. He'd also set out a simple meal of bread, preserved fruit, and smoked bacon on the table.
Emily's stomach rumbled at the sight.
Even though Cade had obviously left the food for her, she still couldn't help but glance around warily as she filled a plate. It seemed no matter how far away from him she went, Sloan's savage commentary on her weight and eating habits would always keep ringing in her mind.
She took her breakfast out onto the front patio, telling herself that she wasn't looking for Cade. She was just getting a better look at the land surrounding the house in the light of day.
The lowlands, as the southern part of the Pacific Northwest Boundarylands was called, wasn't too different from Emily's former home in the uplands. The climate was a bit more hospitable, the terrain more forgiving compared to the jagged peaks surrounding Cade's run-down shack. The air was easier to breathe as well, though maybe that was just due to being away from Sloan.
Holding her plate in one hand, Emily ate while strolling around the perimeter of the house. The food was delicious, simple, but fresh and wholesome. It tasted even better in the cool morning air tinged with the scent of sun-warmed grasses and flowering trees.
Emily gazed out at a sea of towering trees and vivid new life sprouting from the forest floor, listening to the birdsong and the chattering of squirrels somewhere up in the branches above her.
All of this had existed in the uplands too, but there the need to stay alert to the stomp of Sloan's boot or the crack of his knuckles tended to mute the beauty that surrounded her.
But in this moment, Emily wasn't worried about any of that. She was thinking only about what was right in front of her—the forest, the tender shoots in the vegetable garden, an old wheelbarrow next to a garden shed, Cade's red plaid shirt.
Hmm.
Emily spotted the discarded shirt hanging from the railing as she rounded the corner of the cabin. Behind it, an ax was buried in a huge stump.
The story of how it got there played like a movie in Emily's mind: Cade splitting a few logs for the stove, pulling off his shirt when the work became too warm, the muscles of his bare chest bulging and flexing.
Sizzle.
Emily shook her head in dismay as a jolt of desire raced along her nerve endings.
Maybe she'd do some laundry today. She grabbed Cade's shirt and headed for the door, unthinkingly bringing the sun-warmed fabric to her nose and breathing deeply.
The hypnotically comforting scent that had carried her off to sleep last night filled Emily's senses, stopping her in her tracks. She closed her eyes and let the sensation flow through her.
"I see you're feeling better."
Emily's eyes flew open at the sound of Cade's deep voice behind her. It was just her luck that he would choose this precise moment to appear out of nowhere. She stuffed his shirt under her arm before turning to face him.
Fortunately—or unfortunately, perhaps—her fantasy didn't quite match the reality in front of her. Cade wasn't half-naked. He was wearing a T-shirt that clung to him like a second skin and showed off the deeply-defined muscles underneath.
"I was just cleaning up out here," Emily stammered. "I thought I might do a load of laundry."
A knowing smile tugged at the corners of Cade's lips. Sure you were, it telegraphed loud and clear. "I told you last night that you don't have to do that."
"I know I don't have to. But I'm not someone who can just sit around all day. I need something to do."
Emily didn't add that it was the only way to resist getting pulled into a swirling vortex of dark—and dirty—thoughts. This alpha might be a hell of a lot less volatile than Sloan, but that didn't mean that she could trust him with her secrets.
Cade shrugged. "Knock yourself out, then—but I don't have much laundry to do. But if you feel up to it, you could help me clear some brush from the stream. I want to get it done before the next rains. Might keep you occupied longer."
The way he phrased it— if you feel up to it—made Emily want to push past her instinctual hesitation. It had been so long since anyone had presented her with a real choice, let alone asked her what she wanted.
She threw his shirt back over the railing. "I'd like that. Let me just take care of these dishes."
She was finished tidying in moments and returned to find Cade loaded down with a scythe, ax, a jug of water, and a small shovel that he handed to her. "Can you carry this? Or is it too heavy?"
"It's fine."
It was better than fine, actually. Cade was inviting her to help—not ordering her to. Giving her options and making sure that the task wasn't too arduous for her. And maybe most importantly, he was working alongside her rather than watching from the sidelines and criticizing as Sloan had.
Was that why she was looking forward to a chore that, in her former beta life, Emily would never have considered doing?
Emily had never been the girl with the perfect manicure, the fresh blow-out, or the flawless makeup, but she had been a fairly sheltered office worker.
She'd never considered manual labor something that was beneath her, just something she never needed to worry about. Her condo and office building both employed gardeners to mainta
in the landscape and maintenance men to take care of any repairs. She never had to get her hands dirty.
But all that changed when she came to the Boundarylands. Fortunately, Emily found she had a talent for working with her hands. No matter what task Sloan threw at her, she learned how to complete it. There was strange pride in that.
But she found that with Cade, her desire to help had nothing to do with pride. For reasons that were still murky to Emily, it simply felt good to help.
As she followed Cade along a well-worn path through the woods, she felt strong and energetic. Her knee was feeling a lot better, and the cut on her face had healed overnight. Emily was looking forward to getting knee-deep in mud and muck, knowing it would crowd out thoughts of murderous, revenge-seeking mates or her attraction to random kidnapping strangers.
The stream wasn't far from the house, and Emily spotted the problem right away, a giant tangle of branches and foliage that would flood the banks with the next rainstorm if it wasn't cleared.
She didn't wait to be told what to do, kicking off her shoes and rolling up the cuffs of her jeans while Cade was still sizing up the problem. She drew in a sharp breath as she submerged her feet in the crystal clear water. Summer in the Northern Boundarylands meant creeks running high with snowmelt from the mountains, and the bitter cold stung like hell.
Cade raised an eyebrow in grudging admiration. "You really just jump right in, don't you?"
Emily shrugged and waded a little deeper. "The only way to finish a job is to do it."
"You ain't wrong."
There was a splash followed by icy water splattering her hair and face as he leapt into the creek a few feet away.
Emily gasped from the shock and the cold, and wiped the water streaming down her face. "You did that on purpose!"
"So what if I did?" Cade grinned wickedly.
Suddenly Emily was grateful for the cold water as the furnace of her desire fired up. It's just a physiological response, nothing more, she told herself. But that didn't explain the spark of playfulness she felt, the long-forgotten, simple joys of sparring, even flirting.
Cade: The Boundarylands Omegaverse Page 6
