“I don’t know. Her working theory appears to be that a few dates will help me figure out how I feel about Zeke. Plus, she’s got it in her fool head that a woman my age should have some dating experience before she decides to set her cap on one man…or more accurately, let that man set his cap for her.” Rubbing her forehead, Honor shook her head.
“Well,” Patience drawled, propping her elbow on the table and her cheek in her hand, “She’s not exactly wrong.”
Honor swung alarmed eyes toward Patience’s face. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No. I mean, you’ve never seen what the meat market is like in Paradise, sis. Maybe you’ll find a leaner, meaner cut of masculinity to tempt you,” she offered, smiling faintly when Honor’s jaw dropped.
“I have a very lean, mean man living in my home right now, Patience, and that one’s about to run me crazy as it is,” Honor grumbled. “After the last couple of nights, my mind and my body are at constant odds over what’s best for me, and now my ding-donged therapist wants to throw more men in the mix!”
“Wait a second,” Faith interrupted as she pulled the receiving blanket more tightly around her slumbering daughter. “What’s gone on the last couple of nights?”
Honor’s breath caught in her throat as she felt every woman at the table stare at her.
“Oh, I know that look,” Aunt Orla chortled. “That’s the same look your baby sister used to get when I caught her sneakin’ her hand into the cookie jar when she was a kid.”
“Is that so?” Patience murmured knowingly as her little sister darted her eyes from the table to the ceiling to the floor. “Why, Peanut… did you put your hand into Zeke’s cookie jar when he wasn’t looking?”
“Oh, Lord,” Honor mumbled, covering her face with a hand as she prayed the floor would open up and swallow her whole. She knew her family. Her sisters were as determined as bulldogs when they caught scent of a scandalous tidbit. And letting Zeke’s talented hands into her panties definitely would qualify as salacious gossip to these crazy kinfolk.
Aunt Orla hooted with laughter. “Oh, no, Patience. I don’t think that’s it at all. If anything, I’d say our friendly lawman strayed into your sister’s cookies and took a big ole bite if that blush is any indication.”
“Oh, my Lord!” Faith gasped, her azure colored eyes widening. “Our little sister is growing up,” she squealed, earning herself an agitated look from Honor.
“Way to go, sis,” Harmony praised with a delighted smile as she pushed her chin length hair over her shoulder.
“’Bout time somebody snacked on your cookie supply, Peanut,” Patience declared with a wink, tapping the table with her lavender tipped nails.
“Would you all keep your voices down,” Honor demanded tightly, her anxious eyes scanning the patrons of the café to see if they’d been overheard. “I swear, sometimes I don’t even like you people.”
Looking over at Patience, Aunt Orla shook her head. “You’d think she’d be less huffy what with her gettin’ some lawman lovin’. Tell me, child. What’s the sheriff packin’ in his pants? Are we talkin’ a pocket pistol or a hand cannon?”
Honor stared back at her aunt with uncomprehending eyes. “Have you had some kind of stroke? What in the world are you talking about?” Looking at her sisters, who appeared to be hanging on every word that got said, Honor made an irritated sound. “Will one of you nosy nuts please translate?
“She wants to know what kind of gun Zeke’s got between his legs,” Faith whispered with a wicked giggle.
“Or you can think of it like ridin’ a motorcycle. Did you climb aboard a crotch rocket or was it more like the easy glide on a smooth-ridin’ Fatboy?” Patience questioned, wiggling her eyebrows for effect.
Embarrassed, Honor licked her dry lips as she tried to think clearly. They all seemed to think she’d seen way more of Zeke than she had, and while she’d felt his more than substantial dangly bits pressed against her body when they’d been fooling around, she’d not actually seen anything. What she’d felt, however….well, she wasn’t an expert, but she was pretty sure he’d put most snakes in the jungle to shame with what he carried around inside his jeans. “I am NOT talking to any of you about Ezekiel’s private bits and pieces,” she whispered violently. “But just for the record, we haven’t gotten that far yet anyway.”
“Oh, honey!” Harmony’s face fell. “Don’t tell me that man wasn’t able to ring your bell for you.”
Honor knew her face had to be beet red, but she also knew her sisters were a persistent lot. None of them were gonna let this topic just die a natural death. “Good Lord, Harmony! If you must have all the details, then YES, my bell did indeed ring. Loud and long! Zeke just had his clothes on while he went about making it chime!”
“Thatta girl!” Faith laughed. “And I’m assumin’ that you liked the way he rang said bell?”
Honor stared at the print hanging above Faith’s head. “I want a new family,” she remarked to the picture hangin on the wall. “One that doesn’t feel the need to know all the details of my life.”
“You’re the baby of the family. Of course, we’re gonna want the dirt,” Harmony scoffed like she thought her sibling was crazy for even being surprised. “Now, back to this whole dating debacle. I seriously doubt after sharing any kind of intimacy with you, Zeke’s going to be of a mind to share you with another man. In fact, if it were Jake, any guy that got too close would find himself missing vital pieces of his anatomy. I can’t imagine Zeke’s gonna be much different, and I know you’ll never be able to sneak off and do this with the watch he’s got on you.”
“I know. I’ll have to tell him. Tonight,” Honor said decisively. “But I’d really like to tell him who I’ll be seeing for these stupid outings. Bree says I have to go out with a total of three men, one date each. And since I know beans about men… I was hoping you girls would hook me up with someone tolerable.”
All the sisters exchanged looks with each other before Patience slowly grinned at Harmony. “We’re gonna need reinforcements. I’ll call Maggie.”
“I’ll call Melody. Maybe she could take a break from Hooks and Books and come have a cup of coffee,” Harmony returned, eagerly picking up her phone.
“I’ll pass this little one off to her Uncle Jake and go grab our menu chalkboard,” Aunt Orla said, rising with a sleeping Harri in her arms.
“Why?” Honor asked with a glower at her Auntie.
“Oh, Sweet Girl, we’re gonna need a list.”
And just like that… Honor watched with slightly stunned eyes as she lost control of her life.
~~~***~~~
“Alright! Who erased Cort Aaron’s name?” Faith’s aggrieved voice complained as she stood in front of the old chalkboard propped on top of the table against the wall.
“I did,” Patience returned. “Maggie told me to do it,” she said, pointing toward her red-haired best friend.
“Why?” Harmony questioned as she refilled both her and Melody’s coffee mugs.
“Yeah, why,” Faith challenged, propping her hands on her curvy hips and cocking her head at Maggie. “He’s got nice eyes and a gentle way about him. He’s a veterinarian, for Cripes sake. Even animals love him.”
Studying her manicured nails, Maggie shrugged daintily. “Let’s just say that I have it on very good authority that the lovely vet is lacking in the lower regions of his body.”
Faith squinted her eyes at Maggie.
“Tiny dick,” Patience supplied to her clearly clueless sister.
“Microscopic, or so I was told,” Maggie said sadly. “Otherwise, I’d agree with Faith’s personality assessment. Cort is always lovely with my Maltese furbaby.”
Raising a timid hand, Honor stared at the blackboard. “Add him back. I’m not interested in his manly parts. I just want to be able to get through a meal with him.”
Beaming, Faith snatched the chalk from Patience’s hand and quickly scrawled Cort’s name back on the board. “Okay, so our candidates in
clude, but are not limited to, Cort Aarons, Melody’s brother RJ,” she said with a nod at the bookstore and yarn shop owner. “Wrath McKay…”
“Ooohhhweeeee, lawman’s gonna love that one,” Aunt Orla chortled, popping a bite of her chocolate bar between her lips.
“There’s Hunter Quaid…” Faith continued.
“Who’s he?” Melody whispered to Honor and Harmony as Faith continued to drone out names.
Honor smiled at the curvaceous woman seated across from her. Melody had moved to town after she inherited her grandmother’s house not too long ago and had gone on to open a successful book and yarn combo store on the town square. She was currently engaged to another new Paradise resident, Cal Valentine, and they shared her granny’s old house with her brother, RJ, and their dog, Goose. Cal and RJ were due to open their gym any day now so Honor was mildly surprised when Melody had volunteered her brother as a dating tribute. But that’s the kind of generous girl Melody was. Always ready to lend a helping hand.
“Hunter Quaid owns that tattoo studio, Skin. It’s a few blocks down from the bookstore. He’s a nice guy. A little scary looking, but sweet as pie when you get to talkin’ to him. Patience briefly dated him before she and Abel finally took their blinders off and realized they loved each other,” Honor shared softly as Faith and Patience continued to bicker over the names on the chalkboard.
“Y’all don’t forget to put Aiden James on that board,” Harmony called from the corner of the booth.
“Why does that name sound familiar?” Honor asked out loud, stifling a yawn as she leaned back against the booth. God, they’d been on the hunt for what felt like hours going over the dating prospects Paradise had to offer. It was exhausting and she wanted a nap.
“He’s the new fire chief,” Harmony grinned. “And that man is yummy. He came to visit the kids at school the day I volunteered in Heaven’s class. Dear heaven, I know I have a delicious man of my own, but that guy…wow! And, he asked if I had any unmarried sisters that day.”
“Wait? Aiden? Aid? Absolutely not,” Honor denied, shaking her head. “He and Zeke sometimes run in the mornings together. They’re friends, Harmony!”
“Sweets, your roommate is the freakin’ Sheriff,” Maggie reminded her. “He’s pals with one half the town and he’s put the other half in the clink at least once.”
Honor could only groan at that.
“And that leaves us with Holden Carson. He owns that used car lot over on Route 47. Dusty Fairchild…”
“My insurance agent?” Honor yelped. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Yep. He’s got a steady job and a nice square jaw. You could do worse,” Faith pointed out.
“He’s also got the nastiest breath this side of the Smoky Mountains,” Maggie countered with a shake of her coiffed head. “Erase him.”
“Fine,” Faith muttered, sweeping the eraser across the board. “Hayes Elliot, David Greene, Henry Watson and Parker Masterson.,” she concluded on a sigh.
“Cheap, bore, asshole, and biggest bore ever. Lose the last four,” Patience returned, crossing her arms over her breasts as she studied the board.
“And with that, ladies, I give you our final contenders,” Faith declared, waving a hand at the messily written list with a flourish. Looking over her shoulder at her baby sister, Faith winked. “Any of these names give your body a tingle?”
“There will be no tingling on these dates!” Honor announced sternly. “This is an assignment ONLY and I’m doing it under extreme duress and against my better judgment.”
“What’s happening under extreme duress and against your better judgment,” a deep familiar voice asked curiously.
Turning startled eyes to where Harmony’s husband and today’s bodyguard-de-jour stood behind the table looking from the women to the blackboard, Honor swallowed hard. “Uh….well…”
“What the hell is that?” Jake asked with a frown at the chalkboard. “I don’t know who the hell half these guys are.”
“Those are potential dates,” Harmony informed her husband as she slid out of the booth. “Honor’s therapist is insisting she try going on some dates over the next week, and we’re helping her choose some suitable gentlemen.”
“What?” Jake barked, his face clouding as he looked from his wife to Honor. “Honor, does Zeke know about this?”
“Not yet,” Honor sighed. “Tonight. I’m telling him tonight.”
“Oh, Dios Mio,” Diego mumbled. “Is that mi nombre?” he blustered, his tan face paling. “Take it off. I want no part of this. I have only just convinced the sheriff that I am not El Diablo. You are lovely, Honor, but I’d like to stay in this town as a free citizen. Would you have the sheriff jail me, Preciosa?” he asked Honor.
“Of course not,” Honor snapped. “I told Faith to erase your name!”
“Well, excuse me…. I was trying to be culturally diverse!”
“I’m not proposing closing the borders, Faith! Just take Diego off the list. For heaven’s sake, the poor man looks like he’s going to pass out,” Honor huffed, waving a hand toward where Diego stood.
Scanning the list, Jake growled. “Jessie Hart needs to come off the list. That bastard came up on my radar a month ago. Can’t tell you for what, but I can tell you that Honor isn’t getting near him. And Mark Waters needs to drop off, too.”
“Why? I like Mark,” Maggie complained, frowning at Jake.
“Cheats at cards. Don’t need cheaters around the family,” he returned evenly, shaking his head as he looked toward Honor. “You know that Zeke’s never gonna allow this, right?”
“He doesn’t have a choice. It’s my life,” Honor retorted. “And anyway, he’s the one that insisted I needed therapy. So, really, I think it’s safe to say that he only has himself to blame.”
Softly chuckling, Jake grinned. “I’ve got ten bucks that says he locks you up before you go on the first date.”
“I’ll take that action,” Aunt Orla cackled, raising her hands.
“I want in, too,” Patience announced.
And just like that… Honor McKinnon’s love life became the most wagered bet in town.
~~~***~~~
“Ezekiel Kinkaid Monroe, this is NOT the slightest bit funny. Let. Me. OUT!!” Honor shouted, gripping the metal bars in one of the six jail cells the Paradise Sheriff’s Station had to offer. Glaring at where the stubborn man stood, leaning indolently against the wall with one leg bent at the knee with his booted foot propped against the wall, Honor fumed. When Jake had bet that Zeke would lock her up to keep her from seeing other men earlier this afternoon, she’d thought he was joking. She never in a million years imagined that when she’d brought Zeke a covered dinner plate at the station since he was working late that the insufferable fool would lift her over his shoulder and drop her butt in a holding cell.
“Oh, believe me, Honor. I’m not laughing,” Zeke returned, his voice pitched low.
Inhaling deeply, Honor stared through the bars at the man currently responsible for her splitting headache. “Zeke, I’ve had a really long day. I want to go home, take a bath, and go to bed. Now, let me out of this cage right this instant!”
“I can do that. Well, at least I can once you agree to drop this fucked up idea you’ve gotten in your head to date other men. Do that and I’ll unlock the door and let you out. I’ll even drive us both home,” Zeke reasoned easily. “However, until you’re ready to concede to my better judgment, get comfy, Kitten. You aren’t going anywhere.”
“For the last time, it’s not MY idea! It’s Dr. Daniels bright idea. Take your argument up with her,” Honor retorted tersely, settling her hands on her hips as she gave Zeke the evil eye.
“Then tell her NO,” Zeke snapped. “You’ve gotten enough experience using the word with me. Use it with her!”
“You know, I truly hoped you’d be more levelheaded than this. Abusing your power is beneath you,” Honor lectured, dropping her hands from the bars as she began to pace back and forth in her narrow ce
ll.
“Honor, you pranced that pert butt into my station to inform your man that you intend to step out on him without so much as batting an eyelash. Locking you up WAS the levelheaded option! When you compare it to the spanking my hand is still just itching to deliver to your pretty ass, I’m fairly convinced that I’m the most judicious son of a bitch in the state of Tennessee!”
“You’re not my man, Zeke,” Honor denied, shooting him a dirty look even as her heart recognized that she wasn’t exactly telling the truth. She wasn’t actually lying either, but she knew they were something to each other. Something important.
“Had my tongue in your mouth and my hands all over that delectable body both this morning and last night, Honor. Trust me, baby, I’m your fuckin’ man,” his deep voice rumbled as his eyes glinted underneath the overhead lights. “You need that further proven to you, though, and I’m more than willin’ to oblige.”
Honor shivered at the smooth threat in his words. Did she want him to prove he was hers? Heaven knew she’d enjoyed the way he’d made her feel when she’d been in his arms. Her body still quivered with the remembered pleasure. Lord, she needed to focus here before she did something silly like invite him inside the cell with her to christen the thin cot behind her. Pointing a finger at him, she fixated on her righteous indignation that he’d gone so far as to lock her up like a common criminal. “You’re punishing me for a crime I didn’t orchestrate, Zeke. As I recall, it’s you that insisted therapy would be good for me. These dates are homework that Bree deems necessary. It certainly wasn’t my idea to traipse around town with men I barely know.”
“Then refuse to do it, Honor,” Zeke demanded sharply.
“Aren’t you the one that told me I needed to give counseling a fair shake?”
“Yeah, but this isn’t counseling, woman. This is a bad episode of the Redneck Mating Game!”
Honor closed her eyes and silently counted to ten, reminding herself that Zeke yelled because he cared. He cared a lot. “None of the three men that agreed to accompany me out and about are rednecks.”
Man of Honor (Passion in Paradise Book 4) Page 37
