“Why are you fighting me?” he asked, sounding genuinely perplexed.
“I’m sorry,” I said again, slipping my tongue into the bite mark he’d left on my mouth.
“I’ve got plans for us, Cat. I told you I have a surprise for you. Don’t you want to know what it is?” He looked happy and shy now, almost boyish.
“What is it?” He still had me by the arms and I flexed, hoping he’d relax his hold a little. He didn’t, so I shrugged him off roughly.
“You’re going to come live with me. Tonight.” My heart pounded as he smiled down at me. I couldn’t let him take me to his place. I had no family and no friends. The strip joint was all I knew, but I had no friends there. No one cared about me. No one would ever look for me.
Oh, God.
“I can’t just leave my apartment. I have a lease,” I said, trying so hard to sound reasonable. He stared at me for a full minute, at the end of which I was squirming.
“I did something nice for you, Cat.” His soft tone was back, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Don’t you remember?” His face was worried.
“I know! Yes, I know. I’m just worried about my lease, that’s all.”
“Well, don’t worry about it,” he said with that same boyish grin, and the attraction is back.
What is wrong with me? Is he kidnapping me, or am I going willingly?
“No! No, I won’t, of course I won’t,” I said with a small laugh. “Thank you, Patrick,” I whispered, watching him closely. It was clear that I had to keep him happy because I’d never get away from him against his strength.
“Can I go home and pick up some things first? I can meet you at your place in a little while?” I pleaded, knowing before I’d finished that this wasn’t going to happen. Patrick looked pretty determined.
“Why would you need to do that? I’ve got everything ready for us. Don’t you remember, Cat?” he said again, searching my eyes for what, I have no idea.
Why does he keep asking me if I remember? Remember, what?
“Okay,” I gave in because I’m afraid of what he’ll do if I continued to resist. Visions like photos slip through my mind of Patrick hitting that man earlier, breaking his arm so easily. He pulled me away from the car with one hand on my arm, leaning down to grab my bag as he walked and I stumbled. He brought me to an old car, shiny black with two white stripes down the hood.
“It’s my chevelle,” he said proudly, and looked again for a reaction from me as he opened the passenger door and pushed me inside. He didn’t get one, because I, again, had no idea what he meant. He tossed my bag into the backseat as he got in and started the engine. It roared to life, and just with a quick glance I could tell he took good care of his car.
“Put on your seatbelt,” he said with no irony, and I complied without comment.
He revved the engine as he peeled out of the parking lot, burning rubber and skidding out. I clutched the door handle tightly, causing Patrick to look at me. I quickly let go, and cling to the seat instead. I could not believe that yet another man was taking advantage of me. For the last year that I could remember, every man I had had the misfortune to encounter, had abused me in some way. Verbally, emotionally, sexually, physically—you name it, I had endured it. I had enjoyed a quiet stretch, but yet again I found myself in a situation of fear, not that I’d ever quite been in that exact situation before. As Patrick drove, I tried to put my game face on and act like I was not scared. It was my only defense. We drove for several hours, up into the mountains, and I got more nervous with each mile.
What awaited me?
He pulled into the driveway of a small house, actually more like a log cabin. It had a small, enclosed porch on the front with a driveway on the right side that lead to a one-car garage at the end. He parked in the garage and got out to open my door. He seemed calm now, and he kept looking at his phone. He opened the door and gestured for me to walk in ahead of him, which I did with a lot of trepidation. I didn’t know what I was expecting to see, but it definitely was not what awaited me. The door creaked closed behind me and I felt Patrick’s body heat crowding me from behind, but even so I couldn’t move forward. My body was stuck in place as if my bare feet had been glued to the floor. I stared around me without blinking, trying to absorb it all without crying.
In front of me, on every surface of tabletop and shelf available, were pictures of me. I don’t recognize any of them, but it really was me in the framed photos. Or, my doppelganger. I see photos of me riding a bike, smiling while I held a flower, hugging someone I of course, didn’t recognize. And the last one I looked at before I started to cry was a photo of a wedding—my wedding to Patrick. I glanced at Patrick and he was watching for my reaction, an expectant smile on his face. I swallow back the tears as I realize the depth of his love for me.
Chapter 4
“I love it,” I said, glancing quickly at Patrick out of the corner of my eye. He smiled wider and reached for me, making me jump. He scowled and I turned fully toward him with a huge smile on my face.
I don’t understand these pictures, I don’t understand who Patrick is, I don’t understand why I can’t remember anything past the last year! I’m so…scared.
“You’ve put so much work into these pictures. Thank you, Patrick,” I continued with the same huge smile plastered on like a mask. But Patrick couldn’t see that because he believed me. He must remember loving me—how unfair I can’t remember loving him.
“I knew you’d say that. I knew you would see how much I love you when I brought you here.” My chest ached at his words.
He loves me?
“Let me show you our bedroom,” he said as he began to walk out of the room. There was a couch and a chair in there as well, both facing the photos. I followed him through a small, but immaculate kitchen and down a hall with two doors. One went into a tiny bathroom, and the other went into ‘our bedroom’. God help me. I shook almost uncontrollably as I stepped over the threshold, and wondered how to tell Patrick I don’t remember anything—I don’t remember him.
I held my breath as I looked around. There was nothing out of the ordinary in there that I could see, only a bed, a dresser, a nightstand with a lamp on it, and some more pictures of Patrick and me, along with some other people. I took a deep breath to control my shivering—I didn’t want Patrick to notice. I wasn’t relaxed, not even close. The fear was real and huge, and I had a feeling that if I could remember, that feeling would have been foreign to me.
“It’s very nice,” I said with real sincerity in my voice. Patrick looked at me and our eyes connected, his blue eyes still beautiful to me even through the emptiness of my memories.
Maybe I’m just crazy.
“It’s late,” he said without taking his eyes from mine. He ran the fingers of one hand down my arm and I shuddered from the contact.
What is wrong with me?
“I’d like to go to bed, Cat. I’ve missed you so much,” he continued as he took my hand gently. He looked almost normal, his face not red with anger. Right then, he reminded me of the Patrick I thought I was getting to know.
“Okay.” I conceded because I had no choice. He was almost a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier than me. If he wanted me in bed, I was going to bed. And I knew we weren’t going to sleep, no matter how late it is.
Why does that idea fill me with so much anticipation?
“What would you like me to wear?” I asked him, blessed desire and sensuality taking over.
“Nothing,” he said after almost a minute of silence. He watched my face for a reaction, but I had none to show him. I would have been shocked if he had said anything other than that.
I moved over to the bed and pulled my dress over my head. I didn’t have time to put panties and a bra on in my haste to escape the strip club, so I’m naked. I stood there with the tingling of his nearness flowing through my limbs as he scanned my body as if he’d done so countless times before. It’s only been three days!
He moved ne
ar me and started to remove his own clothes and I watched him. When he pulled his t-shirt over his head, the muscles he revealed made it hard for me to breathe. I’d never seen a man’s body as beautiful as his outside of a magazine or movie. He unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and the blessed tingling is everywhere by then.
I hate myself, I really do. I deserve whatever is about to happen. I don’t know him, I don’t even know myself! But, I feel like I can’t stop. I don’t want to.
He pushed his pants and boxer briefs down his legs and his cock was at half-mast. The sight of a guy’s dick has never turned me on, but this time was different. The combination of Patrick’s handsome face, amazing body, and growing erection was having an unfortunate affect on my pussy. I was so embarrassed that I looked away.
“What’s wrong, Cat?” I couldn’t look at him.
“I don’t remember you,” I whispered at him, still looking away.
“What? You still don’t remember?” His voice sounded incredulous and he checked his watch again.
“What the hell?” he growled as he paced the room. “What do you remember?” He finally asked me.
“Nothing…you’re very handsome,” I responded without looking at him. This was insane, but I needed him, and I couldn’t think of anything else. He grabbed my chin and forced my face toward his. My heart pounded as I glanced down and see that he had grown huge.
I can’t do this. Someone is waiting for me, I can feel it! But…is it Patrick?
“Get in bed, Cat,” he begged me, so beautiful in the moonlight. I stood still for a moment, and after one second of contemplation I bolted for the bedroom door. I only got two feet before he’d grabbed me from behind again, this time crushing my chest even harder than before.
“What the fuck?” He said as he turned toward the bed and tossed me gently on top. I bounced on the mattress but even so, I’m shocked at his treatment. It’s very familiar. He jumped on the bed and I scrambled back, trying to get away from him.
“No!” I screamed as he grabbed my leg and pulled hard, and with little effort I was underneath him, pinned by his naked body.
“Don’t fight me! Why are you fighting me?” he said urgently in my face, scaring me. But, mixed in with the fear was a thrill of electricity between us, our naked bodies practically creating sparks as we struggled. He was fully hard then, and my pussy was aching.
“Please don’t, Patrick!” I begged him, tears streaming down my face, the shame of my desire for him warring with my need to flee. “Please! Please! Not like this, Patrick! Not like this!” I was crying in earnest, not struggling at all, and Patrick was lying quietly on top of me.
“Don’t what?” he said, bewildered.
“Don’t hurt me! Please!”
“I’m not going to hurt you, Cat!” I tried to control myself and hear what he was saying, but the words wouldn’t sink in. All I knew was that I was supposed to fight when I felt cornered and scared. How I knew that, well, I didn’t know.
He was absolutely still then, not holding me down with his hands, but the pressure of his body was like an anchor from which I couldn’t free myself. “I thought you were different, Patrick! I thought I meant something to you!” I was hyperventilating, choking on my ragged breaths and I could no longer look at him. I stared at the wall as I tried to take deep breaths. I needed to calm down so I could find my equilibrium, and solve this puzzle with Patrick.
He grabbed my face and made me look at him. He wiped my tears with his thumbs, and his eyes were soft again. His dick was pressing against my leg, not as hard anymore.
“Who do you think I am,” I whispered up at him.
“My fated mate. My wife,” he answered, gently pushing hair back from my face. My heart pounded fiercely in my chest.
“Say it again,” I said, as an energy I couldn’t remember ever feeling before began swirling in my chest like a tornado.
“You’re my mate, Cat. My wife,” he repeated, his voice lower this time. The tornado had picked up and I could barely hear him anymore.
“Again,” I managed to get out. Somehow, I knew we needed to keep going.
“You, Catherine of Ravenmore, are my fated mate and my wife. I, Patrick of Ravenmore, am your fated mate and your husband.” Light seemed to fill up the room. Suddenly, I was filled with memories all at once, my entire life flooding back into me, my back arching to absorb them. Each memory hit me like I was in a sandstorm, small pelts that individually wouldn’t have hurt, but when struck with millions at once, burned quite painfully. I analyzed the memories in just a minute, and it all made sense. Softly, I could hear Patrick as he yelled next to me, but I was fine. In fact, I was more than fine. I was a bear shifter, I was Patrick’s mate and wife, and I was the Wonderland clan’s princess.
He hugged me close, his gentleness so familiar now. He was cradling my body like a parent cradled a baby when they need to be soothed. He was petting my hair and whispered, “Shhh” into my ear, and rocked against me. None of it was sexual. This man that loved me, that sought me out, that defied the curse that destroyed us, was showing a level of caring that I’d sought all of my life. No wonder I loved him as I did.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” he said softly against my neck and a ray of sunshine burst throughout my arms and legs, like fireworks exploding.
“It’s not your fault,” I whispered as I ran my hands up and down the skin of his back, his muscles so hard and strong. In the oddest turn of emotion, I feel safe for the first time in an entire year.
“I’m going to protect you, Cat,” he said fiercely, and actual happiness blooms inside of me.
I am lucky; but there are others that will pay for what they’ve done to us.
But, I don’t care right now. I’d been hurt by so many people and Patrick would to protect me. He wanted to keep me safe. He was obsessed with me, and I deserve to have someone to watch over me.
“You’ll keep me safe?” He lifted his head at my question and the look on his face only reinforced what had suddenly become my own obsession with him. Happiness radiated through me, the feeling mixing with all of my lost memories, my family, the Council, Patrick as Alpha, the clan…
We’ll get through it together—I have Patrick back now, thank the gods.
“Yes,” he said, and I absorbed it like a solemn vow. Part of my damaged soul was healed at his words and I smiled up at him, seeing his true beauty again that night.
“Do you promise?” I asked, needing him to reinforce what I already knew. But, I could be excused for my worries. A year of being ‘Lost’ was a long time.
“I promise,” his deep voice answered me in the dark, and I reached up and pressed my lips to his, pushing my own tongue into his mouth this time. He groaned and we were kissing sweetly, gently, like lovers. My nipples were tightening, while his cock was getting hard against my leg. His tongue was pushing and thrusting against mine, and I threw my arms around his muscular shoulders, grabbing tight. My pussy ached with need for him.
“Fuck me,” I groaned and he made a sexy noise deep inside his throat. He pushed his hand down my body, icy hot shivers reacting wherever he touched me. My skin was on fire, my mind was focused only on Patrick, and my body arched off the bed as he finally placed his fingers where I needed them most. My pussy was so swollen that just his gentle touch set off a small orgasm, and I moaned long and loud.
“You like that, baby?” he whispered and I moaned again as he leaned down and sucked my nipple into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around my tight bud and then sucked hard, as I pressed his head into my breasts.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long, I’ve missed you so much,” he said as he pulled away to look into my eyes. “You are so beautiful to me, Cat. The first time I saw you, I knew we were meant for each other. I know you felt the same. My life has led me to this point where I can have you and keep you safe. We’ll deal with the Council, and why they did this to you, to us, tomorrow. We’ve got to deal with the clan, and the problems in the v
alley, too. But tonight, we don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to do anything but be mine.” The intensity in his gaze is a soothing balm to my fractured heart.
“I am yours,” I replied, like a vow renewal to him and he reacted like he felt it, too. He gently pushed two fingers inside my tight tunnel and I moaned again as he leaned down to kiss me. He was kind and loving. This is lovemaking, something people talked about like it was a myth. But it does exist, and it was wonderful; I couldn’t imagine loving anyone or anything more than Patrick. He pushed his thumb against my clit and mini flashes of light exploded behind my eyes.
“Patrick,” I groaned just before an orgasm slammed into me, taking my mind and my body on a whirlwind of sensations, leaving no part of my body untouched. I wasn’t the same after, as he placed his hard cock at my entrance and I was still tingling from little shocks. He slid into me, and I was complete once more. We were complete. He thrust and it felt so good that I thrust back, and soon we were clinging to each other and moving together in a rhythm that made me feel like he was touching my soul. And, maybe he was.
“Protect me—keep me safe,” I whispered in his ear as he started to sweat and thrust harder into me, our bodies slapping together.
“I will,” he whispered back.
“Love me,” I groaned, and he kissed me again like he was sealing the deal between us.
“I do love you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted,” he whispered as he started to shudder on top of me.
“Come inside of me, baby,” I told him, my nails digging into his back. He yelled my name as he emptied his seed, filling me up in a way I couldn’t remember feeling before.
Patrick lay on top of me as I stroked his back, soothing him back to a regular heartbeat. He kissed my neck and the afterglow that people speak of was a reality for us.
Shifters in the Snow Page 7
