She’d wanted to be more than a good mother; she’d wanted to give her daughter everything she herself had never had. Not material things, but attention and love and security. As it happened, she couldn’t give Allison the most fundamental thing of all. Life itself. Her baby had been cheated from the first, and Cecilia, with all her good intentions, had failed. Rationally she knew she wasn’t to blame, but emotionally…She couldn’t get over the feeling that there must have been something she’d neglected to do. Something she should’ve done. The doctor had said that was a common reaction in such cases and had urged her to seek counselling. Cecilia hadn’t been able to face it.
She didn’t head for the cemetery until midafternoon. With tears in her eyes, she strolled along the pathway that led to the section of the cemetery with Allison’s grave site. She stopped now and again to brush leaves or grass from a headstone, checking names and dates, wondering about each lost life.
When she arrived at Allison’s grave, Cecilia noticed the bouquet of fresh flowers. Yellow daisies, which just happened to be Cecilia’s favorite.
Ian. It could only be Ian.
He hadn’t called to tell her he was being deployed, but he’d been to visit their daughter. Cecilia crouched down and placed her own bouquet next to the one her husband had left. She touched the daisies with one fingertip, wondering if this was a message to her.
No, she decided, steeling herself against any lingering emotion. Ian had made it plain that he didn’t want her in his life. He’d wanted her body but not her. That message had come through loud and clear. He’d asked her to leave his hospital room in terms she couldn’t possibly misunderstand. And he hadn’t phoned to apologize. Fine, dammit! She didn’t need his car, anyway.
The more Cecilia insisted she didn’t care about Ian, the less she convinced herself. Not that she wanted to care. This depression and anger was all his fault. Once again she’d allowed him into her bed…and her heart. And now she was suffering the consequences.
It hurt that he’d left Bremerton without so much as a word to her. Not goodbye, not I’m sorry, nothing. He’d been rude and unreasonable, and this wasn’t the first time, either.
Back at her small apartment, Cecilia tried to do her English homework but her mind repeatedly wandered away from the English Romantic poets and down paths she’d prefer to avoid.
When the phone rang, she was jolted by the sudden noise. With an exaggerated sigh, she picked up the receiver.
“Hello,” she said in a dull voice.
“Hi,” came a cheerful woman’s voice. “You don’t know me, but I figured it was time I introduced myself. I’m Cathy Lackey.”
“Who?”
“Cathy Lackey, Andrew’s wife.”
Ian’s friend. “They’re deployed, aren’t they?”
“Three days ago. Ian didn’t phone?”
“No.” She tried to sound unconcerned, despite the pain it’d caused her.
“That coward! I’d like to give him a swift kick in the behind,” Cathy muttered.
For the first time all day, Cecilia grinned. “You and me both.”
“Listen, I realize we aren’t even acquainted yet, but I’d like it if we could be friends. Andrew and Ian are such good buddies and…well, we were only stationed here a few weeks ago, and I haven’t met very many people.”
“I don’t know a lot of people my age, either.” Not unless she counted the women she worked with, and Cecilia had never truly fit in with the group at The Captain’s Galley. Because she tended to be quiet and withdrawn, and her childhood had been so chaotic, she’d always had trouble making friends. “But sure,” she added, “let’s get together sometime.”
Cathy would be able to tell her about Ian, too; that thought didn’t escape her.
“Great!” Cathy seemed pleased. “Are you doing anything tonight?”
It was one of those rare Saturday nights that Cecilia didn’t have to work. “What do you have in mind?”
“I was thinking we could rent a movie and make popcorn.”
That was about all Cecilia could afford. “I’d like that. Do you want to come here or should I drive over to your place?”
“I’ll join you, if that’s all right?”
“Sure.” Cecilia glanced around the apartment to be sure it was clean. She’d run the vacuum and straighten her books and papers; other than that, it was acceptable.
“Can you drive me back later?”
“No problem,” Cecilia said. “Do you need a ride over here, too?”
“No, I’ve got Ian’s car.”
The words struck her like a lightning bolt. Before she could react, Cathy was asking, “Is six too early?”
“It’s fine,” she managed. “But—”
“I’ll give you the keys and the insurance papers and everything then,” Cathy continued.
“The…what?”
“For Ian’s car. He was supposed to call you, but when I didn’t hear from you, I figured he’d lost his nerve. Men!” Cathy giggled and Cecilia found herself frowning, hardly making sense of all this.
“You mean he said I should use his car?”
“He insisted on it,” Cathy assured her.
Cecilia wanted to believe it, but wondered if she should. He’d sucker-punched her once already and she wasn’t up to another round. “Was this before or after he went into the hospital?” she asked.
“After,” Cathy said. “He gave me the keys himself and asked me to make sure you got the car.”
“Oh,” Cecilia said softly, and exhaled a long, slow breath. Despite her refusal to accept the use of his vehicle, he wanted her to drive it anyway. He did care. He did.
“I’ll see you at six. And I’ll get a video on the way—a comedy all right? What about Notting Hill? Have you seen it?”
“No, I never did,” Cecilia said. “And I’d love to.”
This latest recipe Charlotte had picked up—chocolate-chip pecan pie—was the best. She’d got it at the funeral for her next-door neighbor’s elderly father. There’d been a good turnout, but that wasn’t surprising since Herbert had lived in Cedar Cove for eighty-one years. The pie would make a perfect Easter dinner dessert. She’d bake her usual coconut cake, too. Her family would demand that, although she was certain Olivia and Justine didn’t really understand how much work went into that darn cake.
Charlotte believed in doing things the old-fashioned way. She wouldn’t use a cake mix if her life depended on it. Oh no, she baked from scratch, just like her mother had. And her grandmother. The coconut cake took three days and started with fresh coconut, but the result was worth all the effort. Tradition had a strong hold on her.
Thursday morning, as was her habit, she went to the Senior Center and visited with her knitting group. Her dearest friends sat around the large table, each working on her current project. Some knitted for their grandchildren, and others worked on projects for foster children or for charity. There was nothing more comforting than a sweater or blanket created with loving hands and a loving heart.
“Hello, Charlotte,” Evelyn greeted her. She was almost finished with the afghan she was knitting for her daughter. The pattern was a lovely one and it had already been completed by several others in the group.
“Have you seen Jack Griffin lately?” Evelyn asked. Despite reassurances, she continued to have her suspicions regarding The Chronicle’s editor. Evelyn was like that—especially after she’d learned how to log on to the Internet. She had doubts about practically everyone, and for the most part Charlotte chose to overlook her friend’s lack of faith in others.
“Yesterday afternoon,” Charlotte said conversationally. She’d been putting in a lot of extra hours on the Seniors’ Page and was pleased with her efforts. Jack had liked her ideas and suggested she write a weekly column for the paper. At first Charlotte had balked. She wasn’t much of a writer, and she hadn’t thought she’d find enough news or ideas to fill a weekly column. But Jack had such confidence in her she’d decided to give it a try. H
er first column had appeared on the Seniors’ Page the week before and had included a recipe, some local history and a few recommendations, gleaned from Olivia’s friend Grace, of new books available from the library.
“I tried your recipe,” Helen told her, needles flying. She was working on a sweater for her fifteen-year-old granddaughter.
“The cheddar biscuits?” When it came to recipes, Charlotte was already three months ahead. Never lacking for new ones, she’d found it difficult to decide which to print first. “Oh, ladies, just wait until I tell you about the chocolate-chip pecan pie I tasted this week.”
“Herbert Monk’s funeral?” Bess asked.
“I heard about it,” Helen said. “Word spreads when something really good is served at one of the wakes.”
“All I ask is that someone make that broccoli lasagna for my wake,” Evelyn tossed in. “Then everyone will know I’ve died and gone to heaven.”
Charlotte chuckled.
“How’s your friend Tom?” Helen put in.
Charlotte was beginning to feel guilty about Tom Harding. “I haven’t seen him all week,” she confessed. She’d been so busy working on the Seniors’ Page, she hadn’t gone to the convalescent center.
On her last visit, Tom had been rather subdued. She’d attempted to lighten his spirits, without success, although he sat and listened and occasionally responded. As always, Charlotte had chatted about all kinds of things. She told him she had his key in a safe place and he seemed reassured by that.
“I don’t think he’s doing well,” Laura said.
Laura was a woman in the know. With seven children living in the community, she knew more about what was happening in Cedar Cove than the mayor.
“Really?” Charlotte hoped it wasn’t serious. If so, she supposed Janet Lester would have called her.
“You might want to check on him yourself.”
“I intend to do that this very afternoon,” Charlotte said, a bit annoyed that Laura had been the one to tell her about her friend. Really, though, Charlotte had no one to blame but herself. It was just that she’d been so busy lately.
She stayed for an hour, visiting and knitting, then packed up her needles and headed for the convalescent center. Not bothering to stop at Janet’s office, she went straight to Tom’s room.
She’d learned from Janet that Tom had originally chosen Cedar Cove. He’d never indicated why. The storage unit remained a mystery. He hadn’t explained that, and when she’d attempted to ask him about it, he’d pretended to fall asleep.
She’d brought her latest column to read aloud, plus a slice of the pecan pie she’d saved just for him. This would, she hoped, suffice as an apology for her lack of attention these last two weeks.
To her surprise, Charlotte found Tom’s room empty. There’d been talk about getting him into physical therapy and she suspected that was where he’d been taken.
Anxious about Tom’s condition, she hurried toward Janet’s office. Charlotte knocked politely at the half-open door.
“Charlotte.” Janet immediately stood, averting her gaze. “I should’ve phoned you earlier.”
“You certainly should have.” It was an embarrassment to find out from one of her friends that Tom wasn’t doing well.
“I do apologize.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“We believe it was another stroke.”
Charlotte gasped. Poor, poor Tom. Another stroke would certainly compound his health problems.
“How bad was it?”
“Bad?” Janet asked, sitting back down. “You don’t know,” she said slowly.
Charlotte shook her head, but she was beginning to get the feeling that this was worse than she’d imagined. Pulling out a chair, she sat down, too.
“Tom died late last night.”
“Died?” It shouldn’t come as a shock, considering his age and his poor health. Nevertheless, Charlotte felt she’d lost a good friend. “I…didn’t realize. I didn’t…” At this stage of her life, death was a common occurrence. She’d buried her husband years earlier, and every day, it seemed, there was an obituary for someone she knew. Still, the death of this man hit her hard.
“Are you all right?” Janet asked.
“Of course,” Charlotte insisted, but she wasn’t. Her hands trembled and she felt chilled.
“I know he appreciated your friendship.”
Charlotte nodded, scrabbling inside her purse for a handkerchief to dab her eyes.
“Your visits meant the world to him.”
“It’s been two weeks—I should’ve been here.”
“Charlotte, you couldn’t possibly have known,” Janet said gently.
Charlotte knew that was true, but she couldn’t squelch the feeling that she’d let Tom Harding down. Before her work with the newspaper, she’d stopped by at least once a week. Tom had been the first person to hear her initial column. She’d read it to him herself and he’d smiled and approved of her efforts. Jack Griffin, on the other hand, had taken his sharp red pencil to her work and cut away at it until she’d barely recognized it as her own. Granted, she knew she wasn’t an experienced writer, certainly not a professional, but it had wounded her pride. When she’d complained to Tom, he’d given her a sympathetic look, which was just what she’d needed.
That was the last time she’d seen him.
Janet reached for her phone and called down to the kitchen for tea. Five minutes later, one of the staff carried a tray into the office.
“He was a special man,” Charlotte said, grateful for the hot, comforting tea. It helped ease the lump in her throat.
“Yes, he was,” Janet agreed.
“What should I do now?” Charlotte asked.
Janet stared at her blankly.
“With the key? Remember he gave me the key to that storage unit?”
Janet frowned. “I guess the state will want it. You’d better return it as soon as you can.”
Nine
Jack Griffin was strongly attracted to Olivia Lockhart, and that wasn’t a good sign. Oh, hell, maybe it was. Still, pursuing this attraction meant losing emotional independence, and he wasn’t sure he liked that. He couldn’t help it, though—he found himself making excuses to talk to her. To learn more about her.
After the fiasco of their first date, he hadn’t made a point of asking her out again. Mostly, he was afraid she’d turn him down flat and, frankly, he wouldn’t blame her. He didn’t want to give her any opportunity to reject him. Instead, he made excuses to be around her.
Jack Griffin spent many more hours at the courthouse than his job required. Plus, he made sure he was in the Safeway store every Saturday morning on the off-chance that he might run into her again. He had two or three times, and they’d ended up having coffee. Damn, but he liked her. Judge Lockhart was down-to-earth, smart and sexy. What got him, what really got him, was that she didn’t seem to know it.
Friday afternoon, on his way home, Jack stopped at the dry cleaner. He rushed from the parking lot through the pulsing rain, cursing the foul weather under his breath. The skies had been a depressing lead-gray all week, with intermittent showers. The only bright spot on the horizon—so to speak—was a story he was writing about the Annual Seagull Calling Contest, being held that night.
He raced into the dry cleaner and nearly collided with Olivia. The shock of seeing her destroyed any chance of being clever. Her name was all he could manage. “Olivia.”
Her smile was infectious. “Don’t look so surprised. I do get my clothes cleaned regularly, you know.” Her purse sat open on the counter.
“Me, too.” Now that was brilliant. He nearly rolled his eyes. With other women he was a witty conversationalist, but Olivia unnerved him.
Duck-Hwan Hyo, who’d come from Korea in the 1960s, owned the dry cleaning shop. Jack had written an article about Duck-Hwan soon after he’d started as editor, impressed by the hardworking immigrant family. As soon as Duck-Hwan saw Jack, he rushed to give him the fastest possible se
rvice, in the process ignoring Olivia.
Jack felt he should explain.
“Don’t worry,” she assured him, “I’m in no hurry.”
Friday night and in no hurry. Jack reached for his wallet and paid his bill, the whole time wondering if Olivia’s response was her way of telling him she didn’t have any plans for the evening. It almost seemed she was hinting that he should ask her out. Could that really be the case?
With the hanger for his dry cleaning hooked around his index finger, he waited for Olivia.
“You mean you’re not going to the high-school theater?” Jack had figured that a good portion of the town would be turning up for the event.
“The Seagull Calling Contest is tonight?”
Before he could stop himself, he asked, “Would you like to go? With me?” He clarified his question so she wouldn’t just assume he had an extra ticket he was willing to pass along.
“Sure,” she said, agreeing instantly.
Jack was tempted to ask if she was sure, especially after their last date, then decided not to sabotage his good luck. “Great,” he said. “That’s terrific.”
“I’ve waited a long time for you to ask me out again,” Olivia said casually, walking toward the door. “What time should I be ready?”
She was joking, she had to be, but rather than leap up and click his heels in sheer jubilation, Jack merely checked his watch. “Is an hour too soon?”
“It’s perfect.”
Since he’d been lucky once, he was willing to try for twice. “How about dinner afterward?”
“The Taco Shack?”
He could see she was teasing him, but he let it pass. “If you want. Otherwise I suggest D.D.’s on the Cove or The Captain’s Galley.”
“Hey, I’m coming up in the world,” she said with a laugh. “I’ll let you decide.”
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