Being a professional fisherman was a hard, dangerous life, and they’d agreed that Seth would give it up for good. His father had encouraged him in that decision.
“I wouldn’t want you to fish,” she said, turning so she could slip her arms around his middle. “I’m just not sure I want to be a restaurant owner anymore.”
Seth gripped her shoulders, his fingers digging into her flesh. “You don’t mean that. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I…I do,” she countered. “At least I think I do. We went into this business with absolutely no knowledge of what we were letting ourselves in for. We were totally naive about what owning a restaurant takes out of you.”
According to statistics, eight out of ten new businesses fail, and restaurants headed the list. The only reason theirs had been successful was the sheer force of their combined efforts—and a degree of luck.
“We made a few mistakes,” Seth said, then added with a wry grin, “okay, we made a lot of mistakes in the beginning, but we learned quickly and we’ve come a long way.”
“We hardly spend any time together, as a family.” This was the one thing that distressed Justine the most.
Seth didn’t agree or disagree with her.
“You were at the restaurant all hours of the day and night, and so was I.” She supposed that now wasn’t a particularly opportune moment to broach her concerns, not while Seth was still so upset.
“I had to be there. You know that.”
“I’m not blaming you for any of this,” Justine told him, gazing into his intensely blue eyes. He was frowning at her and in him she read confusion and pain.
“Are you suggesting I haven’t been a good husband?” he asked.
“No! That isn’t what I meant at all. I love you and you love me. I could never doubt that.” Then, reluctantly, she said, “I’m afraid, Seth.”
“Afraid? Afraid of what?”
“I’m not sure. I had a panic attack last week. I didn’t know what it was at first. I felt like I wasn’t getting enough air and that I was going to pass out.”
Concern darkened his eyes. “When? Why didn’t you mention this earlier?”
“How could I? You’ve been so angry, so restless. I didn’t want to add to your worries.”
He slid his arms around her, drawing her close. “I’m sorry, my love. So sorry.”
“I am, too. About everything.”
He lifted his head. “What do you have to apologize for?”
“Because I don’t think I can go back to the way things were before, with you gone so many hours. With me at the restaurant virtually every day. I don’t want our son spending every night with babysitters. I don’t want to go back to the constant worries over money and meeting payroll. It was always something, wasn’t it?” Once she started listing her concerns, she couldn’t seem to stop. “This was never our plan, remember? I was going to do the books and fill in occasionally, but occasionally became every day. Leif is being raised by strangers and you have less and less time for us.”
Seth frowned at her. “You never said any of this before.”
“That’s because I hardly ever saw you, and when I did, we were usually talking about the restaurant. We wanted to have a second child and kept putting it off.”
“But—”
“We’ve had practically no time to be a family. It doesn’t make sense to have a second baby.” She stared at him. “I know what you’re thinking.”
“I doubt that.”
“You’re thinking that you aren’t about to let all this hard work go to waste. That you didn’t slave away for the last five years to end up with nothing more than a pile of rubble.”
He looked startled, as though her observation had surprised him.
“We both need to decide what’s really important,” she said, nearly choking on her words. “Is working thirteen-and fourteen-hour days worth what it’s doing to us, to our son and to our marriage?”
“Yes,” he stated without question. “You’re exaggerating, Justine. It isn’t all bad.”
“I agree, but for me, the bad outweighs the good. I’m no longer sure the sacrifice is worth it. I love you so much,” she whispered, bringing her hands to his face, blinking back tears. “I want my husband back—the man I married. The man who proved to me I could love and be loved. I want to find what we once shared and I’m so afraid it might be too late.”
Seth crushed her to him then and held her tight. She felt him shudder, and he didn’t speak for a moment.
“I had no idea you felt this way,” he finally said.
“I didn’t know it myself until the fire,” she admitted.
“What do you want?”
“That’s a mystery to me, too,” she said with a shaky laugh. “I guess I want us both to think long and hard before we decide whether or not to rebuild The Lighthouse.”
She could tell from his sudden tension that he’d prefer not to reconsider but to go ahead with his plans to rebuild. Justine swallowed, wondering if anything she’d said had gotten through to him.
“I’m not making any promises,” Seth told her.
“But we can talk?” she asked.
“All right,” her husband agreed. “We can talk.”
Five
With the Cedar Cove Chronicle folded to the classifieds, Cecilia read through the listing for rental houses one more time. Other navy couples had warned them that it was next to impossible to rent in a middle-class neighborhood without including the wife’s income. Cecilia and Ian didn’t want to do that. They’d never be able to save for a house if most of their monthly pay went into rent. They wanted a home of their own, especially now that they had Aaron.
“The house is at 204 Rosewood Lane,” Cecilia said as Ian drove. She turned to check on Aaron, who was sleeping peacefully in his carrier in the backseat.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” Ian warned.
“It’s too late—they already are.” Cecilia so badly wanted this to work out. Her parents had divorced when she was young and from that time forward, Cecilia and her mother had lived in apartments. She’d always dreamed of one day having a home with a yard and a garden and a real neighborhood. Ian had grown up in a house, and living in one again didn’t mean nearly as much to him as it did her. He was willing to wait until they could afford their own.
She’d phoned about several possible places, and the one on Rosewood Lane was represented by an agent. Judy Flint, who worked for Cedar Cove Real Estate, was meeting them at the house.
He drove onto Rosewood Lane and Cecilia immediately liked the area. The street was lined with elm trees already in leaf and there were tulips and daffodils in front of almost every house. This was the kind of neighborhood where children rode their bicycles in the street, and the sidewalk was used for jump rope and other kid games. She saw a white picket fence and held her breath, hoping that 204 was the house number there.
It was.
“Oh, Ian, look!” she cried, breathless with excitement. “It’s perfect.” In fact, it was even better than she’d dreamed. It was a white, two-story house with a large dormer over the front porch. Although this was clearly an older home, that didn’t bother Cecilia and if anything, made its appeal stronger. She especially liked the wide porch and brick columns.
“It’s all right, I guess,” Ian said as he parked the car by the curb.
Cecilia playfully slapped his arm. “You like it, too.”
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Looks like a good family home.”
He’d hardly put the vehicle in park when she unfastened the seat belt and climbed out. Judy Flint, the agent, was waiting at the front door, and the owners were due to show up later, if warranted. It seemed a bit unusual, but they’d requested a meeting with any potential renters.
Ian extracted the baby carrier from the back seat and carried a napping Aaron onto the porch with him.
“Aren’t you adorable?” The agent smiled at the baby. “I see you’re right on time,” she told
Ian and Cecilia in a friendly voice, still smiling at Aaron.
Cecilia had been ready an hour early and the wait had seemed interminable.
“I think my wife wants to rent it sight unseen, but I’d like a tour,” Ian said, teasing Cecilia.
“Step inside,” Judy invited as she held open the screen door.
Gazing all around, Cecilia walked into the house. Even without furniture, the living room had a sense of warmth that came from the brick fireplace, polished oak floors and off-white walls. It was easy to imagine what this place would look like filled with their things.
She was still examining the living room when Ian called from the kitchen.
“It’s a little small in here.”
“I’ll be there in a minute,” Cecilia called back. She was studying the fireplace with its built-in bookcases on each side. This was the perfect location for a rocking chair, where she could nurse Aaron, read, daydream….
Ian returned to the living room. “Remember this is the first house we’ve seen. We’ve only started to look. There are plenty of other rentals on our list.”
“I’ll remember,” she promised, but Cecilia had made up her mind. This was it. All she had to do now was convince her husband. If they delayed, someone else would quickly snatch it up.
Ian disappeared, and a few minutes later she heard him say, “I’m going to check out the garage.” Apparently he’d already been through the ground floor and she had yet to move beyond the living room.
Taking in every detail, Cecilia made her way into the kitchen. Ian was right; the area was smaller than she would’ve liked but it was adequate. She noticed that the back door had a doggie entrance. Perhaps they could get a dog sometime, she thought dreamily. A compact laundry room off the kitchen led to a hallway. She followed that and came to the larger of the two bedrooms. The master bedroom was painted a soft shade of yellow that looked fresh and new. The closet was small but again adequate.
“There are two other bedrooms upstairs,” Judy, the agent, told her. “Four bedrooms in all.”
“Four bedrooms,” Cecilia repeated. It felt like a mansion.
“The basement is unfinished.”
“It has a basement, too?”
“The owner didn’t use it for anything other than storage.”
Ian bounced back into the house and the instant he did, Cecilia could tell he was happy. “The garage is great! Want to come see?”
“Sure.” Cecilia exchanged a smile with Judy Flint. Men and their garages. She trailed him outside and into the detached garage. Judy went with them and highlighted a number of features. There was plenty of room for Ian to work on his car, while leaving space for storage.
“I do want to remind you that this is the first house we’ve seen,” Cecilia teased, throwing his own words back at him. “So don’t get too excited.”
“This is the best home I have available in your price range,” Judy inserted.
Ian’s eyes held Cecilia’s. “What do you think?” he asked.
“I think we’d be foolish to let this opportunity pass us by.”
Ian reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Would you like me to contact the owners?” Judy Flint asked.
Ian responded with an enthusiastic nod.
The agent walked outside, and Cecilia watched as she opened her cell phone.
“It’s everything I’d hoped for,” Cecilia whispered. “Everything.”
“Four bedrooms is a lot for just the three of us.”
“There’ll be other babies,” Cecilia said. “We could fill those bedrooms in no time.”
Ian’s eyebrows shot up and Cecilia giggled.
She was so happy she could barely contain herself and she could see Ian was just as pleased.
She thought he might have kissed her right then, except that the agent returned. “The owners are in town and they’ll be here in about ten minutes.”
As Cecilia and Ian finished exploring the rest of the house, including the two upstairs bedrooms, she noticed that another car had parked out front. An older gentleman, wearing a large cowboy hat and boots, and a middle-aged woman started up the walkway toward the house.
Judy Flint opened the front door for them and introduced Grace and Cliff Harding. Cecilia smiled shyly at the other couple. When Aaron began to fuss, she lifted him from the carrier and held him against her shoulder.
“I know it’s unusual for the owners to ask for a meeting with potential renters,” Grace said.
“We don’t mind,” Cecilia assured her. She recognized Grace from the library. Before she had her own computer, Cecilia had made several trips to use the ones in the library whenever Ian was at sea, so she remembered Grace, who’d been helpful and friendly. “We like your home very much and we’ll take the very best care of it.”
The older gentleman put his arm around his wife. “Grace and her family lived here for over thirty years and she wants to be sure it’s in good hands.”
“It will be,” Cecilia promised her. She understood why Grace would want to interview anyone who might be renting her house. It must be hard to let strangers move into a place that you’d lived in for much of your life. And yet Cecilia understood why she was willing to walk away from her home of thirty years. Cliff Harding cherished her. She saw it in the way he touched his wife, the way he looked at her.
“You’re in the navy?” Cliff Harding asked Ian.
Ian nodded. “Yes, sir.”
“So you could be transferred,” Grace said, glancing at her husband. She seemed a little unsure.
“We could.” Cecilia’s heart would break if they had to leave Cedar Cove but she’d go wherever Ian was assigned.
“Ms. Harding is asking for a one-year lease,” Judy explained.
Ian paused. “That could be a problem,” he said. “There’ve been a few rumors about the George Washington being transferred to San Diego. That might not mean anything, but then again, it could.” He’d mentioned this to Ceclia earlier, and she could only hope the rumors came to nothing.
“Would you consider a lease-to-own option?” she asked. She should’ve talked this over with Ian first and wished she had, but if that was an option, she wanted to know.
Again Grace looked at her husband. “I…don’t know. I’d like some time to think that over.”
“Sure…Ian and I aren’t even sure we could afford to own a house this big.”
“We’ll discuss all of that later.” Ian gestured around him. “As my wife said, we’d take care of your home the same way you have,” he told Grace. “But if you need a one-year lease, we won’t be able to sign it.”
Cecilia held her breath while she waited for Grace’s response.
“Should we look elsewhere?” Ian pressed.
After the briefest of hesitations, Cliff Harding shrugged and seemed to leave the matter up to Grace.
Cecilia wasn’t sure what else to say, so she asked, “Is there space to plant a garden?”
“Oh, yes, I’ve always had a garden—roses and bulb flowers and perennials. Pretty well everything should be coming up, but there’s certainly room for more. And the yard gets plenty of afternoon sun.”
“I’ve always wanted a garden,” Cecilia confessed. She patted Aaron’s back gently and soon the baby was sleeping contentedly on her shoulder.
Together the four of them walked around the house, while Judy waited inside. Ian and Mr. Harding were deep in conversation, and Cecilia had some questions for Grace, as well.
“I do hope you’ll agree to rent to us even without a lease,” Cecilia said when they’d finished.
Grace smiled at her husband and nodded. “My hope was that this home would go to a family just like you. This neighborhood’s a good place for a family and you’ll fit right in.”
For a moment, Cecilia thought she might cry. “Thank you both so much.”
“Hey,” Mr. Harding said, raising his hands. “This is strictly Grace’s decision.”
Judy Flint r
ejoined them then. “I’ll get the paperwork going right away,” she announced. “Are you prepared to write me a check this afternoon?”
“Sure am.” Ian removed his checkbook from his hip pocket.
“When could we move in?” Cecilia asked, and had trouble keeping the excitement out of her voice.
The Realtor turned to Grace, who smiled. “As far as I’m concerned, once the paperwork’s signed, you have my blessing.”
“Thank you,” Cecilia said over and over. “Oh, thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling.
Six
Linnette McAfee had been looking forward to this afternoon with Cal all week. Because of her work as a physician’s assistant at the Cedar Cove Medical Center, her days off rotated. Fortunately, Cal’s job with Cliff Harding allowed him to adjust his work schedule to hers. If not for such an understanding employer, Cal and Linnette might never have found a chance to be together.
Linnette’s mother, Corrie, had purchased a date for her with Cal at the Dog and Bachelor Auction, a charity event for the local animal shelter. For more money than Linnette could believe, her mother had set her up with Cal Washburn and at the same time purchased an Australian shepherd for her brother, Mack. Both gifts had worked out exceptionally well. Lucky had become her brother’s constant companion, and Linnette—well, she’d fallen in love with Cal. That wasn’t how she’d felt about him in the beginning, however.
All she’d known about Cal Washburn was that he was a horse trainer and that he talked with a mild stutter. Besides, she’d had her sights set on Dr. Chad Timmons. Chad, however, wasn’t interested, despite Linnette’s continued attempts to attract him.
Her mother had pestered her to go out with Cal, and Linnette had finally capitulated. To her surprise, she’d enjoyed herself. When he’d asked her out again and kissed her, Linnette was even more surprised. She hadn’t expected to enjoy his company, much less his kisses.
And so their courtship had begun. Courtship was an old-fashioned word and that suited Linnette, because she considered herself an old-fashioned woman. Cal seemed to appreciate that about her. Their relationship moved slowly—which, she had to admit, she was starting to find a tiny bit frustrating—but she recognized that this was the kind of people they were. Cal’s stutter made him rather shy, even with her.
Debbie Macomber's Cedar Cove Series Page 159
