by Julie Solano
“What’s she doing?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m so confused.”
“You should get down there, Caden.” Jenna commands. “Go let her know you’re here. If she’s well enough to be at a party, she might be ready to talk to you.”
I feel my cheeks begin to heat. I’m mortified and embarrassed. My friends are watching this happen. Hell, I’m watching this happen. I have no interest in going down there right now. I want to see what she’s doing with my friend. I watch as she drags him over to the wall. She leans against it, and spins him around to face her. His back is to me now, so I can’t tell what’s going on. Every few seconds, he shakes his head back and forth. Mason looks tense.
“What’s going on now?”
“I don’t know, but whatever it is, he doesn’t seem to be agreeing to it,” Brody assures.
I watch my girlfriend’s hand, slide up over Mason’s shoulder. His reaction looks uncomfortable. The back of his head twists from left to right, as though he’s searching for a way to get out of this. He must be trying to find Marissa. She doesn’t seem to be worried. I’ve spotted her over in the kitchen, taking up the table right next to Tiara and Chelsea. Apparently, so has Mason.
“I’m so proud of you, Marissa!” Tiara calls out. “I didn’t think you would do something like this!”
That’s got Mason’s attention. He jerks his head around toward the kitchen, bobbing wildly as though he’s trying to find Marissa. He subtly squirms out from under Peyton, setting his hand back down on her shoulder after he finally breaks free. I can see he’s saying something, but I can’t tell what. He looks back over toward the kitchen and begins to walk toward the table.
It’s so quick I don’t even see it coming. Peyton grabs Mason’s sweater. “Wait!” Her yelp is so loud, I can actually hear it. I watch her point above her head. My eyes follow the direction of her finger. Mistletoe. No. I stand up and dart toward the stairs. I’ve got to stop this. She’s making a fool of herself. She’s making a fool of me. Is she drunk? How can she do this to me? I’m too late. By the time I get to the bottom of the stairs, she’s already got Mason in a full lip lock. He’s got both of his hands pressing against her shoulders.
I stand in shock watching my girlfriend make out with another guy. Not just another guy, but one of my good friends. I turn to Brody, who’s clearly just as surprised as I am at his cousin. “Are you watching this?”
He squeezes my shoulder. “I’ll take care of it. You can see he’s not into this, right?”
“Looks pretty mutual to me,” I choke, flabbergasted by the shocking episode unfolding before me. “What makes you think he’s not into this?”
“He’s clearly pushing her away.”
“Well, he sure is taking his sweet ass time. I thought he wrestled animals. Isn’t he stronger than that?”
“He’s just trying to be gentle with her. She’s still recovering from brain surgery.”
“I don’t get it. Is there something going on with those two that I don’t know about? Have you been keeping this from me?”
“Look, he was there too. He has a lot of compassion for what she went through. He’s the one who brought her back, you know.”
“So I’ve heard. More than once, she’s made sure to let me know it wasn’t me who saved her.”
Brody grabs my arm, “I’m sorry, Caden. For everything.” Then letting me go, his voice melts into the distance. “I’ve gotta go help my cousin.”
Help him? Screw that. I’m taking care of this myself. I follow behind Brody, swooping in on the scene, just as Mason pries her lips from his. He jumps, startled, when he sees me standing there.
He lifts his hands, “Sorry, man. I don’t know what to say. I … I gotta go check on Marissa. She’s going to kick my ass.”
I feel the blood coursing through my veins, but I can’t punch the dude. Not now. “Good luck,” I growl, turning to my girlfriend. “Peyton, we need to talk.”
She looks away from me, focusing her eyes on the ground. “What did you see?”
“Everything.”
“Don’t freak out. It was only a thank you kiss … for saving me. There was mistletoe, so it’s okay.”
“Seriously, do you really think so? I’ve tried to talk to you for weeks. You’ve been avoiding me like the plague. And now you think it’s okay to go kissing on my friend? How could you? I haven’t even kissed you yet. Not since the accident.”
“You’re right,” she says, softly. “That wasn’t fair to you.” Then slowly, she raises her eyes to meet mine. When our eyes lock, she coughs out, “Oh God!” I watch her face contort as she covers her mouth and runs through the front door.
What just happened? I feel like I’ve been hit by a Taser. My nerves are shaky and weak. I stand frozen in place, unable to comprehend Peyton’s sudden disappearance. She was just here, standing next to me, and then poof. One look at me, and she disappears.
I’m surprised Mason is still behind me when I hear him say, “I’ll go find her.”
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough? What are you trying to do, steal my girl?”
“Oh, God no. I’ve got Marissa. I’m just trying to help you out, man.”
“You know, if you really want to help out, you’ll stay away from her.”
Mason lifts his hands in the air and backs away. “You’ve got it.” He turns and walks off into the kitchen, leaving me to deal with the aftermath of the Mason-Peyton mistletoe make-out.
What the hell am I going to do to fix this? I run for the front door, searching the snowy street for any sign of her. I follow a set of fresh footprints out to the road. Scanning up and down the street, I scream her name. There’s no answer. No sign of her anywhere. She’s gone.
I FEEL ALL EYES ON me as I make my way to English class. “Welcome back, dude,” Tyler smiles as he brushes past, suddenly stopping and turning around. “Hey, I heard you might want to join the snow sports team. We have a meeting at lunch today.”
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it. You think Coach will still let me? It’s a little late, isn’t it?”
“Drought, man.” He chomps his gum. “We got a late start, so I’m sure he’ll be okay with it. You’ve only missed like two practices on the mountain. The rest was just running and ultimate frisbee and stuff.”
“Sounds good. I’ll be there.”
I slip inside of Mrs. George’s English class. She is that highly respected teacher who has a spitfire personality and just enough kindness that she can get away with a triple workload. All the students think she’s pretty kick-ass. Not to mention, she’s my mom’s and Cinda’s colleague, so she’s known me just about all my life. Even though I hate reading and writing, this is one of my favorite classes. Mostly because Mrs. G gives me a lot of free rein. She understands my need for learning breaks and trusts that I’ll get my work done, even if I don’t finish it in class. Sometimes that means a trip to the vending machine and other times it means running downtown to Miner Perk for her coffee.
Needless to say, she puts me at ease almost instantly when she comes over with her endearing grin. “Caden, we’ve missed you so much. I talked to your mom about missing the week of school after Thanksgiving, and I know you kids have been stressing over it.” That’s just like Mrs. G. The first words out of her mouth are to take the pressure off. “I know you’ve been through a lot, and I don’t want you kids to worry about all of your missing assignments. I excused most of them in the gradebook. I do, however, want you to start getting caught up. Here’s a copy of the book we’re reading. I think you’ll like it.” I look down at The Way Around and skim the synopsis. I guess a guy might like this.
“Uh, looks good. How far are you guys?”
“We’re taking it slow, only five chapters a night. We should be done this week, and then we’ll start our research project on our heritage.”
My face drops. Five chapters a night? Holy hell. Guess I’ll get T’s and Jenna’s Cliff Notes version. They�
��ll read it for me and fill me in.
“You okay, kid? Like I said, I don’t expect you to catch up right away,” concern laces her voice.
“Yeah, this just, uh, reminded me that I have five other classes I missed. I hope my other teachers are as understanding.”
“Well, pace yourself. We all talked during collaboration. Because of senior projects, we decided to lighten the load before Christmas break. Most of your work will come from English and Econ. Let me know how things are going. I can always extend your deadline if needed.” She starts to walk away, when she turns around and comes back to my desk. “How about this? I’ll make your assignment due the day before Christmas vacation. That gives you an extra week and a half.” Crap. Christmas vacation starts like two days before Christmas. With all this work, I’d better make a list for gifts. Guess it’s online shopping for me this year.
I shoot Mrs. G a thumbs up and mumble like Eeyore, “Sounds great.”
Not wanting to waste any time, I pull out my phone and get on Amazon. I begin scrolling through images of electronics, car accessories, sports gear … “What are you doing?” It’s Jenna. She’s tardy, but finally here.
“Trying to shop for gifts, since I won’t have any time outside of class.” I hold up my book. “Did you get yours?”
“Mrs. George handed it to me on the way into the room. She said you’d fill me in.”
“I don’t know much. She just said we’ve got to read this book and do some kind of project before break.”
“Oh, that must be what Daemon was talking about.”
“Daemon? The French dude?”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m late. He stopped me on his way to weightlifting class.” Jenna rolls her eyes. “It was probably just some lame excuse to show me his muscles. He kept flexing while he talked.” I watch her shake with heebie-jeebies. “Anyway, he just asked if I wanted to work on some heritage project with him.”
“Hmm. Kinda weird. It didn’t sound like it was a group project to me.”
“Yeah, I don’t know. He told me he wanted to meet me at my place.” Jenna stops talking. I watch her face twist up like a pretzel. “Ewww. Do you think he was hitting on me?”
“Maybe. He seemed a little bit pushy with the Kahlua at the party. I suppose it could be his way of getting a girl.”
“I have a boyfriend. Crap. I was there without Ty. Maybe he thinks I’m single. I’d better start hanging out with my boyfriend a little more.”
“Good idea.” I continue to scroll through the pictures on my phone, tuning out everything around me. After several minutes, I zero in on a little voice pecking away at the back of my neck.
“Are you listening to me? You’d better put that away. Mrs. G will take it and put it in her June box.”
“No, she won’t.”
“Yeah, she will.”
“No. She loves me. Plus, you’re going to cover for me. Unless you don't want a Christmas present this year.”
“Well, in that case, I’ll take an Amazon gift card. There’s a new book I want called When Fall Breaks. I heard it sounds like our high school.”
“One click, baby. Done.” Check Jenna off my list. That was easy. “What about Peyton? I want to give her something meaningful.”
“Oh, Caden. You’ve got to stop chasing her, especially after what happened at the party. I mean, she ran outside and puked at the sight of you.”
I can still picture Peyton covering her mouth as she ran to the door.
“I really don’t want to make you lose hope here, but the signs are pretty clear. She never came back. Please tell me you’re not still trying with her.”
My mind flashes back to the night before the Christmas tree hunt. Out under the stars, next to the fire. We were entangled. Our souls were literally snuggling. Everyone kept joking with us that they couldn’t tell where one of us ended and the other one began. They nicknamed us Cayton for crying out loud.
“Cayton.”
“What?”
“Cayton. I was just remembering when you guys nicknamed us Cayton. We were inseparable. It was like we were one person.” I take a minute to reflect. I see Peyton on my lap by the fire. I feel the warmth of her arms wrapped around me. The comfortable curve of her body pressed against me. The rush of butterflies from that damn perfume she always wears. My mind jumps from image to image, in such a rush that I can’t take it all in. My memory shifts to the bridge. We stand kissing under the gently, falling snow. The heat flows between us, warming our bodies. Peyton giggles as the flakes melt against our cheeks and noses. The contrast of the freezing snowflakes falling against our burning skin has exhilarating flames jumping through my body. I’m alive. More images. Football games. Homecoming dance. Birthday party.
“Nope.” I shake my head in denial. “Jenna, I don’t think it was me. We were attached at the hip. I can’t make her sick. I’m sure she was just overstimulated. It was probably the first time she’s been out of the house. I know she still loves me. I just have to help her remember it.”
“Ok. I guess you could be right.” Her words are slow and drawn out. She doesn’t sound overly convinced. “It’s just with brain surgery and everything else …” the silence leaves me questioning her feelings, “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking, maybe something went wrong. Maybe they made a bad cut or something. She just doesn’t act like Peyton anymore.”
“She will. I’m gonna get her back. I just have to come up with a plan. Right now, that involves finding her the perfect Christmas gift. I have it all planned out. I’m going to recreate my favorite memory with her. There’s gonna be a fire, s’mores, and I’m going to have our song playing on my iPhone. My only problem is, I haven’t thought of the gift.”
Jenna’s face is all screwed up as she listens to my plan. She giggles silently and shakes her head, as she turns back to the front of the room. I hadn’t even noticed that class has been in full swing for some time. Mrs. G hasn’t said a word. Proof that she loves me. I glance back over to Jenna just as she whips her head back around to me. “Hey Loverboy, got an idea! Why don’t you try something from one of those personalization stores? They have stuff that’s meaningful. Plus, you can put her name on it.”
“Good idea. I’ll check it out,” I whisper quickly when I notice Mrs. George’s eyes coming down on me. Her eyes are warning me to pay attention. I drop my phone into my lap and look up. I’d better at least listen for a minute.
“I know we’re only halfway through, but we’re going to have a great research project to go with this story. I want you all to be thinking about your own family. Where you came from. How did you get to be where you are at this very moment? For some of you, whose families keep a family tree, this could be easy. For others of you, not so much. Start asking questions at home to see what you can find out. Learn a little about your family background. You’ll be surprised what you might uncover.”
Yes! I’ve got this. Thanks to my mom and my super awesome aunt, I know exactly where I came from. Ireland … well, mixed with a sprinkle of Portugal and a few other Celtic nations. More Christmas shopping for me. I look back down at my phone, when I realize this isn’t going to be so easy on Jenna. What’s she going to do? She was adopted from Russia. How’s she going to do this project?
My eyes meet Jenna’s, “Are you okay with this? How are you going to do this project?”
“Same way you are. Work my tail off to figure it out. This is a family tree, not a genetic tree.”
I’m so wrapped up in my conversation with Jenna that I don’t hear the lunch bell ring. Everyone begins to stand and move out the door.
“Hey, if you need some help getting started on the project, I can skip the snow sports meeting. I kind of want to look for Peyton anyway. She wasn’t in first period, and I didn’t see her at her locker this morning.”
“No way. I’m fine. You are going to be on that team. I have a feeling it’s gonna be the best thing you’l
l do for yourself this winter. I’ll keep an eye out and let you know if I see Peyton. Now get to that meeting.”
I step outside and spot everyone standing in the middle of the quad. “I’m on the team! I just can’t compete without a note from my doctor.”
Brody, Kaitlyn, and Jenna seem genuinely happy for me. “That’s great! Do you think you’ll be released soon?”
“Oh yeah. It’s feeling good.” I rotate my arm and stretch it out. “Ever since I got to lose the sling, I can feel the life coming back into this puppy. I’ll probably have to miss the first race, but I’ll be good to go for the next one.”
“So happy for you, man.” Brody slaps my back.
I’m totally uninterested in small talk. My mind has been on one thing all day, and I need to get it taken care of. “So have there been any Peyton sightings today?” I look around at my friends’ faces. I watch their perky smiles drop to sullen grimaces. T looks at the ground. She never does that unless she’s hiding something.
“Out with it, Sis. What’s up?”
Hesitantly she mutters, “I’ve got a little bad news.”
“Yes?”
“Well, during my TA period, I was running notes around for the office. They handed me a stack to put into the teachers’ mailboxes. Normally, I wouldn’t do this, but I saw Peyton’s name, so I looked.”
“Looked at what, Kaitlyn? Out with it.”
“Well, they were unenrollment slips. I had one for each of her teachers.”
Silence.
“She left school, Caden. Peyton doesn’t go here anymore.”
“RISE AND SHINE, CADEN! IT’S race day.”
I glance up at the large, red numbers on the clock next to my bed. “It’s 6:30 on a Saturday, Mom. I don’t get to race anyway. Can’t I just skip this one?” I turn over and bury my face in the pillow, remembering how humiliated I am that I have to go up to the mountain as a helper and not a racer.
“Race or not, you need to get down to that bus. You made a commitment, and you’re not going to keep them waiting.”
